After attending the training, returning to submit the report, and finishing up the program proposal scheduled to run soon after, time had slipped by quickly.
There was still about thirty minutes left before the end of the workday, so I was picking up the pace to wrap up what I was working on, do a final check, and head out — when Deputy Ye-jin came over.
“Yun-su, the delivery driver called earlier.”
“Oh, yes. Just a moment.”
I excused myself to Deputy Ye-jin and immediately picked up a notepad and pen. Once I signaled I was ready, she continued.
“It seems like one of the books sent out this morning was misdelivered. I went ahead and called the other library, and they’ve agreed to have the delivery driver send it back tomorrow.”
“Is that right?”
I wrote down the library’s name and contact number on the notepad and jotted: misdelivered book — return delivery scheduled. Even though it had already been handled through Deputy Ye-jin, I figured it would be better to follow up once more later.
After sticking the note I’d just written to the underside of my desk, I muttered absently,
“This has never happened before — what’s going on?”
The one who had processed today’s delivery was Cha Jae-woo. Given his meticulous and detail-oriented personality, he liked to be thorough and precise, and he never handled anything sloppily — regardless of the task.
That applied equally to his library work, where he boasted a razor-sharp efficiency that even made me, a librarian myself, blink in admiration. The fact that he hadn’t made so much as a minor slip-up all this time, let alone a misdelivery, was proof enough.
Is something going on? Or has something thrown off his concentration with the songwriting? I felt a vague sense of concern, but it seemed excessive to pry over a mistake of this level.
Even the best stumble sometimes. Cha Jae-woo was human — he could make mistakes too. Deputy Ye-jin seemed to share a similar thought, nodding slightly.
“I know. But it’s nothing too serious.”
In truth, a misdelivered book wasn’t the end of the world. If the plan was already in place to send the wrong book back, there was nothing more to worry about.
Still, since it would be a problem if something similar happened again, it seemed worth mentioning to Cha Jae-woo that this had occurred.
That was all it needed to be.
I decided to call the other library to confirm tomorrow, finished up what I was working on, and headed home.
* * *
“I’m home.”
No sooner had I taken off my shoes and stepped inside than Cha Jae-woo came over. He had the air of someone who had been waiting with something to say, so I tilted my head.
“What’s up?”
“……Nothing.”
He shook his head, told me to go wash up, then headed straight to the kitchen. The way he turned on the induction cooktop to warm up the food he’d prepared in advance was no different from any other day.
I thought he had something to say — maybe it was just my imagination, I thought, and went to wash up without another word.
When I came out, the warmed jjigae and a spread of side dishes were already set out. Tonight’s dinner was kimchi jjigae, rolled egg, and grilled fish.
Every time I ate, I was struck by the thought that whoever was in charge of handing out talent had poured everything into composing and cooking when it came to Cha Jae-woo.
Well, and that face and body too…… It felt like the more I followed that train of thought, the more I’d end up resenting whatever unfair force had put the universe together — so I just let it go.
“Is something going on?”
Unlike me, who was focused on eating, Cha Jae-woo was picking at his food in a noticeably listless way. That caught my attention, so I said something — and Cha Jae-woo, who had been prodding at the rolled egg on his rice, set down his chopsticks.
He was quiet for a moment, lips moving slightly as if he was turning something over in his mind, then finally spoke.
“You and I used to date.”
My chopsticks paused mid-motion.
Not knowing what to say, I looked up — and found myself reflected in Cha Jae-woo’s large eyes. He moved his lips briefly, as if choosing his words, then finally said,
“……Does it not bother you at all when someone gets my number?”
“Oh — is that all.”
The jolt of alarm that had shot through me settled back down considerably. As if to prove it, I picked up the rolled egg in front of me and took a bite.
The soft egg split apart and the melted cheese inside oozed out. I chewed and swallowed before continuing.
“You were popular even before we dated, weren’t you? Someone getting your number is nothing new — that’s been happening forever.”
And I meant it. Whether before or after we started dating, Cha Jae-woo was constantly getting his number taken just from walking down the street. Among those people had even been casting directors from agencies — that said everything.
Even if Cha Jae-woo had no talent for composing, I always thought he would have ended up in the entertainment industry one way or another. It was a thought I’d had more than once.
“You don’t need to feel awkward about things like that around me. We’re not together anymore anyway, right?”
But it didn’t seem to be the answer he was looking for — Cha Jae-woo said nothing.
“I told you, you don’t need to feel awkward.”
I said it with a smile and deboned a piece of fish, placing it on top of Cha Jae-woo’s rice.
That’s enough of that — just eat. I considered spelling out more explicitly that I no longer thought of Cha Jae-woo as a romantic partner, but decided that would only make things stranger, so I dropped it.
Perhaps because of the ripple effect from what Cha Jae-woo had brought up, we finished the meal in silence.
“I’ll handle the cleanup and dishes tonight. Go wash up.”
I said that and ushered Cha Jae-woo into the bathroom. Was the misdelivery today because he’d been rattled by having his number taken at the library? I found myself overthinking it despite myself.
He really doesn’t need to worry about it.
After all, once three months passed, we wouldn’t even stay as friends.
Until then, we’d have to keep up basic courtesy as housemates living under the same roof — but that didn’t mean watching each other’s every reaction the way we did when we were together.
Wasn’t it more ridiculous to fight over who gave their number to whom after already breaking up? That kind of thing was for each person to handle on their own.
“Whatever, I’ll just do the dishes.”
I dove into the cleanup and dishes with the intention of finishing before Cha Jae-woo came out of the shower. With the number of dishes laid out, there was plenty to tidy up.
I had no idea how Cha Jae-woo managed to volunteer for both the cooking and the cleanup every single time. Just doing the cleanup left me exhausted enough to want to collapse right then and there.
Having finished the cleanup and dishes, I dropped onto the sofa and picked up my phone. I didn’t have the energy to lift a finger, but I had just enough to scroll through my phone — so I planned to watch some YouTube until Cha Jae-woo came out.
I was rummaging through it looking for something interesting when a notification popped up on the screen.
[How have you been?]
The three syllables beside it — Kwon Tae-gyeong — froze me on the spot.
It was just one message, but my heart lurched and started pounding fast. Before I even had a chance to react, a second message came in.
[Want to meet up?]
The fact that just two messages could throw a person’s mind into this much turmoil — if that was a skill, it was quite the skill.
I tried to calm my still-racing heart, but couldn’t tear my eyes away from the phone.
“What are you staring at so seriously?”
“……Nothing, it’s nothing.”
I shook my head at Cha Jae-woo, who had just finished his shower and come over. Afraid he might notice the messages from Kwon Tae-gyeong, I turned off the phone screen, jumped to my feet, and grabbed the remote.
“Should we watch a movie?”
“A movie? Don’t you have work tomorrow?”
“We can just sleep partway through.”
I hurriedly turned on the TV and started browsing through the streaming service. He’d asked if I didn’t have work tomorrow, but Cha Jae-woo was subtly excited. He must have had something he’d been wanting to watch — he even pointed at the screen first.
“Let’s watch that.”
“This one?”
“You said before you wanted to watch this series.”
“Oh, right.”
I nodded and checked — it was a film I’d already seen, but I played it anyway. I had no confidence I could focus on anything right now, regardless of what it was.
And just as I’d expected, even as the movie played, nothing was registering. Every bit of my attention was on the message Kwon Tae-gyeong had sent earlier.
Cha Jae-woo, too, seemed to find it odd that I had no reaction throughout the film, tilting his head at me.
“Is it not good?”
“……I’m just a little tired.”
I gave a vague answer and lay down on the sofa, fixing my gaze on the screen. I kept up the pretense of watching after that, but my mind was somewhere else entirely.
This movie, in fact, was one we had watched together at home right after Cha Jae-woo and I started dating. So of course, the Cha Jae-woo of now would have no memory of watching it.
“If you’re sleepy, just turn it off and go to bed.”
“I can fall asleep watching it — just leave it on.”
I stopped Cha Jae-woo from trying to turn it off. He, who had lost his memories, didn’t know how this movie ended. Reminding myself of that made something ache in my chest all over again.
You, who lost your memories — you, who have none of the moments we shared — would you choose Kwon Tae-gyeong again this time too?
I felt like I knew the answer, and yet I didn’t want to know it. Even knowing that three months from now we’d be nothing more than strangers, the fact that I was still thinking thoughts like this made me completely unable to understand myself.
So I kept my gaze fixed on the screen in a pretense of watching — and then quietly closed my eyes.
Hoping that Kwon Tae-gyeong’s message would have no effect whatsoever on the life I was living now.
