“Dirt poor, so you’d have no money — and family is something you’d give up on far too easily, so that’s out. What’s left for you, then.”
Gong Haejin asked in a low voice. With every syllable he spoke, Dohui felt the world blur before his eyes. A bead of blood from where the needle had been slid down the back of his hand.
Dohui had already lost everything — there was nothing left to offer. The man wasn’t going to ask for money. Then that meant——
The moment the hand clamped over his mouth was removed, as if commanding him to answer, Dohui sucked in clean air with desperate greed. The man’s scent clung thick and suffocating — nauseating — but he barely managed to keep from retching.
Still gasping, Dohui answered his question.
“……Are you going to kill me?”
“…….”
“Are you going to kill me too — like that person?”
“Why would I?”
“…….”
“Why would I kill you, Dohui.”
Just watching you flinch like a frightened puppy at the smallest gesture, the shortest word from me — that alone is enough to amuse me. Killing you is the last thing on my mind.
When he added that, Dohui’s jaw pulled tight, caving in like a walnut.
“Even from now on?”
“Yeah.”
Dohui’s eyes dropped. As if trying to gauge whether he meant it, he searched — so Gong Haejin gave him a clear answer once more.
“I won’t kill you. You have a separate use to me.”
“Because of my body?”
It was an accusatory tone. Is that how badly you want it? You threw me to anyone and told them to use me however they liked — and now you still need to stick it in a hole that’s already been worn through? It was a condemnation, layered and unsaid.
“Who knows.”
Gong Haejin’s hot hand slipped under his shirt. Dohui, sensing the despair about to come, squeezed his eyes shut in advance.
It felt like a snake crawling over his body. His throat constricted. Powerless — as if trapped in a net wound tight around him — he surrendered his chest and drew in shallow, stuttering breaths.
“Your heart is beating too fast.”
“Ah——!”
A rough hand grazed over his swollen nipples without hesitation, and it hurt.
“Ah. Sorry.”
A tone that was not sorry at all.
Whether he misread Dohui’s silence or not, the man reached into the small bedside table and produced the pink pill again. The color drained from Dohui’s face even further.
“Don’t……do that…….”
“Should I give you the pill.”
“I said I don’t want it. That thing——”
“Then you’d rather take it with a clear head?”
Dohui clenched his back teeth. Please, please…… don’t do this.
But the desperate plea was swallowed by Gong Haejin’s lips. He closed in fast and consumed Dohui’s mouth. Hhng…… No matter how much his tongue twisted, only moans came out. As though that sound pleased him greatly, Gong Haejin pressed harder, driving him further.
There wasn’t a gentle edge anywhere on this man. The breath that had already been scarce cut off almost instantly, and Dohui buckled under it. Even as Dohui’s waist arched backward, he paid no mind. Instead, he pushed him further back and laid him down on the bed.
When the man grabbed his pant leg and pulled in one long drag, Dohui seized it in a panic. Shaking his head, fighting not to let go — his knuckles drained white with the effort. It was a tug-of-war with an obvious victor.
“Dohui, I’ve only caught one so far. Aren’t you curious how many are left? I wonder where your friend falls in the count.”
Why does that cut so deep into the heart.
If it were a dream, it should fade fast — so why is it this vivid, tormenting him day after day. Dohui had no answer to any of it. Unless Gong Haejin told him, he’d never find out on his own.
“Ask nicely.”
“…….”
Don’t want to do that either? Gong Haejin’s voice pierced straight through him.
Dohui quietly pushed Gong Haejin’s hand away. Once he’d removed what had been moving beneath his shirt like something alive, he could breathe a little.
Dohui drew a slow breath through his nose.
“The others…… I’m not curious about them. However many there are, whoever they are…… they’re strangers to me anyway……. But my friend…… Jinho is a little…….”
His throat kept knotting. It was grief again. There was no end in sight to the tragedy. I should never have granted that favor. The regret — long overdue — seeped in.
“The driver who was there that night. And the one who planned it. Your friend. There are still plenty left to catch.”
I’ll show you each time. He carried on as though offering gifts. When Gong Haejin climbed onto the bed, it dipped and then settled back into place.
“Until all of them are caught, your disposal will be on hold.”
Dohui’s brow creased. Disposal. It sounded like a death sentence. Dohui curled his body inward and covered his head. Another massive headache crushed down on his skull like a boulder.
Aah——! Dohui screamed without sound. When he closed his eyes, the man’s face surfaced. The face of someone who had died without being able to close his eyes.
He was panting with his tongue hanging out like a dog when something entered his mouth. He tried to spit out the bitter taste, but Gong Haejin forced water down his throat. He coughed. He coughed again. Dohui convulsed with hacking coughs. Even as the soft bedding grew soaked through, the man did not stop.
Cold water entered through his nostrils too, and it stung. Dohui thrashed.
“S, stop——”
He couldn’t finish the words. Gong Haejin pulled with more force, and Dohui’s pants dragged down in one smooth strip.
He shot his hand out to grab the waistband. Sharp, taut glances exchanged between them like a wire pulled to snapping. Tch — laughing at Dohui’s pathetic resistance, he stripped the pants away.
Before he knew it, his underwear was gone too. What had been yanked off was carelessly tossed beneath the bed, landing in a crumpled heap.
Gong Haejin’s gaze was fixed squarely on Dohui.
“Why——”
“Finish what you’re saying.”
“Why are you doing this. Just—— just hit me instead!”
Eyes of rare, perfect symmetry curved beautifully.
“Confident you can take that?”
A cold shiver prickled across his skin. The hand at Dohui’s throat tightened slightly.
Ngh. Dohui dug his fingertips in and raked at the hand strangling him. Fingernails split at the ends from days without proper nutrition left pale white lines across the back of the man’s hand.
Skin thickly calloused — like a net — snagged him and refused to let go.
“Now, how about this? Maybe you prefer it this way.”
Dohui’s limbs thrashed. He pushed at the man’s jaw, scratched his cheek. As if displeased with the faint resistance, every time he did, the hand around his throat tightened a little more.
The pressure climbed, and capillaries burst in his eyes. It felt like his eyeballs might pop out.
“Learn properly.”
“……Hk.”
“Learning through the body is the best way.”
Nng…… ng, ugh. Even in a moment like this, the man’s voice drilled into his ears like a thumbtack.
Dohui forced every muscle in his body to go limp. It wasn’t easy. No matter how consciously he tried, the survival instinct fought back. But if this was the hint Gong Haejin was giving him, he had no choice right now.
Fortunately, it must have been the right response — the grip eased. Cough, hk…… He felt like he might forget how to breathe altogether someday. That one day he’d simply have his breath taken without warning.
“Hhng……”
After giving him a brief reprieve, the man turned Dohui’s body over.
“Don’t——”
The back of his neck was pinned down, and he couldn’t move at all.
Ziip — a familiar sound reached his ears. Don’t, don’t…… the words circling at the tip of his tongue were heard only by Dohui. His throat, strangled and abused, could barely manage even a single breath.
Gong Haejin’s length pressed against his dry, tight entrance.
“Ugh——!”
Gong Haejin forced open his unlubricated entrance and buried himself inside.
“Still acting coy — what do you think you’re doing. You’ve been passed around enough that you should know how to act like a proper whore by now.”
“It, it hurts…… it hurts——”
Dohui clutched the bedding in a death grip. The hand holding down the back of his neck fell away, but he was utterly helpless — skewered like a fish on a spit.
What would a fish that lived its life freely in the sea have thought when it was caught on a sharp hook. When dragged forcibly to shore, thrashing — did it sense death. Or did it never let go of the hope that it might yet survive.
“Im Dohui.”
“Nnng……”
There was no way his insides had fully healed in such a short time. As Gong Haejin pushed into the damaged inner walls, a scorching wave of pain broke through.
Gong Haejin’s broad tongue dragged across the skin around Dohui’s eyes. Saliva, heavier and wetter than tears, soaked his face.
“Please, just——”
“I said I’d be gentle with you if you cried.”
“Stop——”
