“Crazy Chihuahua?”
“Excuse me? What are you suddenly talking about?”
“…….”
Tae-seong wiped the flustered look off his face and asked with an air of perfect innocence. Hee-young had already been dealing with Tae-seong’s naturally cold appearance, and when his face hardened even further as he played dumb, he almost made Hee-young wonder if what he’d heard had been an auditory hallucination.
But how could that be? Yesterday, Hee-young had been someone who’d swallowed a bowlful of red truth pills. Like hell I’d ever trust an Esper.
Tae-seong, who was watching in real time as Hee-young’s expression turned cold — no, downright murderous — was struggling to hold his neutral face, but cold sweat was running down his back. This was all Kang Ji-hyuk’s fault. Kang Ji-hyuk the Esper had, at some point, started prefacing every mention of Hee-young — who was always at the center of conversation — with that Chihuahua, you know.
The funny thing was that even when he called Hee-young a Chihuahua, everyone understood immediately. On the rare occasion someone didn’t, and asked who do you mean?, someone else would go, you know, the one assigned to Han Shin-yul—, and they’d all nod with an ahh, without raising a single question.
Tae-seong had been the same. The moment he first heard the word “Chihuahua,” he’d been so struck by how perfectly it fit that he’d actually been impressed. Even the part where Hee-young would suddenly explode in rage and tremble all over, unable to contain himself — it was exactly the same. Not just a Chihuahua. A crazy Chihuahua.
He’d called him crazy Chihuahua so much inside his head that the moment he came face-to-face with Hee-young, the nickname popped up instead of his name — and then it slipped out of his mouth just like that. Tae-seong opened his mouth hurriedly to change the subject.
“Come to think of it, are you feeling alright? Chi—”
“Chi? What the f*ck, were you about to call me Chihuahua again?”
“…….”
Tae-seong’s eyes wavered helplessly. Come to think of it, this person…. What was their name again? Everyone only calls them Chihuahua, so I can’t even remember what their actual name is….
There was no way he could remember. From the start, Tae-seong had only caught Hee-young’s name in passing.
Hee-young stared at Tae-seong, who was standing there looking flustered with his mouth opening and closing, and felt utterly exasperated. Wow, these guys are genuinely insane. Rage bubbled up from inside him. He wanted to ram Tae-seong with his electric wheelchair. Hee-young stared fixedly at the electric wheelchair parked right in front of him.
There was no more room to play dumb — they were well and truly caught — and an awkward silence fell between them. Only the chirping of the morning birds was obnoxiously loud, blissfully unaware of the tension.
Hee-young took a deep breath to cool down his rising anger, then shook his head side to side a few times. After the embarrassment of yesterday, causing another scene would damage his own dignity too.
“Ha…. Fine, whatever. Jang Tae-seong. Did you come to see Ha-ram?”
“What? Yes. Is he inside?”
Tae-seong had been thinking wow, it really looks like a dog shaking its fur as he watched Hee-young’s long hair swinging hard, and answered in a hurry.
“Well, he was still sleeping when I came out. Don’t know if he’s up by now.”
At Hee-young’s answer, color returned to Tae-seong’s face. Out of character, he smiled a bright smile and looked down at the enormous bouquet in his hands. Hee-young, on the other hand, stared at the bouquet cradled in Tae-seong’s arms with a look of disbelief.
Who on earth brings a bouquet like that as a hospital gift? Was this to celebrate the hospitalization? Not even a small flower basket — a bouquet so enormous you’d be hard-pressed to find it even at a marriage proposal….
Hee-young pointed at the bouquet in Tae-seong’s arms with a look of distaste.
“That… that bouquet — is that for Ha-ram?”
“Yes. Ha-ram likes flowers. I got a little carried away trying to pick flowers that suited him, but….”
…A little isn’t the word. Hee-young’s middle-aged meddlesome instincts kicked in and his lips itched. No matter how he thought about it, that was a bit much. Switch it out for something more normal-sized and just bring a drink instead. Just as Hee-young was about to offer that advice, Tae-seong’s voice calling him crazy Chihuahua flashed through his mind.
Wait, why would I give advice for someone else’s benefit? A sly smile formed inside him. Crazy Chihuahua? He was still incredulous. Let him get rejected by Ha-ram right in front of his eyes and cry about it.
Hee-young smiled pleasantly.
“You know what, you’re right. It’s pretty.”
“Thank you.”
Tae-seong gave a polite bow. Hee-young watched him bow so courteously and waved his hand dismissively.
“Alright, I’m going to hang around here a little longer, so you go on in first.”
“Yes, then….”
Tae-seong turned to go, walked a few steps, then spun back around urgently.
“Oh, by the way—”
“What.”
“What is your name?”
Should I actually hit him?
***
Hee-young spent about ten minutes at the hospital convenience store before heading up to the patient room. In the elevator, he let out a quiet, gleeful laugh. Ask everyone in the world — who would actually like a bouquet so heavy they can barely lift it.
So oblivious that he didn’t even notice the nurse standing next to him giving him a discomfited look, Hee-young’s chest fluttered in anticipation of the tragedy Tae-seong was about to face. Bastards, I’ll get back at you all slowly. His ultimate target was, of course, Han Shin-yul.
Hee-young had decided to keep the pairing with Han Shin-yul. When he thought about it, he had his doubts about whether they’d even agree to a pairing change now, given that no notice had been given the first time. And besides, running away after getting blindsided like this didn’t suit his temperament at all. Hee-young had never let someone who betrayed him off the hook. He would keep them close and deal with them slowly.
Hee-young kept on letting out that ominous laugh. The patients in hospital gowns, the doctors, and nurses who’d gotten in the elevator with him were all eyeing him with wary looks. Hee-young paid their gazes no mind and simply squirmed with impatience to get to his room quickly.
Ding — Sixth floor.
The moment the chime sounded, he moved his joystick swiftly. People pressed themselves flat against the elevator walls, afraid of getting in Hee-young’s way. For that reason, Hee-young was able to exit with ease.
Hee-young hurried into his patient room. As he passed, a nurse asked, Hee-young, are you feeling better? — but he didn’t answer. It was absolutely, positively not because he was embarrassed about yesterday.
Rushing into the room, Hee-young threw open the door energetically and looked for Ha-ram. He expected to find Ha-ram’s expression twisted with discomfort, an abandoned bouquet, and a devastated Tae-seong.
“Hey, Ha-ram! You have a visitor?”
“Hee-young! Where did you go? Tae-seong just left! Aren’t the flowers pretty?”
Ha-ram was in the middle of arranging the flowers, the full bouquet cradled in his arms. His bright, happy, beaming face glowed brilliantly in the sunlight streaming through the large window behind him.
?
Why does he like them?
Hee-young’s face went blank.
“Oh, do you have a flower allergy by any chance?”
“Huh? No, no….”
“That’s a relief. I was going to put a vase next to your bed too.”
Watching Ha-ram’s delicate hands tenderly touching the flowers with a warm smile, Hee-young stumbled over his words.
“That — the flowers — they’re that big… no, you — you like them?”
No, logically speaking — a bouquet large enough to completely hide a person’s whole body — would a normal person actually like that? Surely not? It’s inconvenient, isn’t it? Kind of a lot?
“What? Oh, yes…. I actually had no idea Jang Tae-seong had such good taste.”
Good taste? Are you serious? Wow, Ha-ram was just as crazy as the rest of them. Hee-young let out a hollow laugh.
Come to think of it, that was just how it was. This godforsaken world had never once aligned with his common sense. And on top of that, this particular teacher was the same lunatic who, even in a place where monsters were crawling out, even after getting beaten up by a monster and waking up unconscious, would shove a textbook in your face and say let’s study.
Ha, these crazy bastards. The one who acts fragile to your face and cons you, the one who calls a perfectly normal person a crazy Chihuahua behind their back, the one who’s genuinely insane right in front of you…. It was a world full of every kind of crazy bastard. Ha ha ha!
He really had to think about this seriously. Was he the normal one, or was he actually the crazy one….
“Oh, Hee-young, where are you going?”
“To the psychiatrist….”
I need to go. I really need to go. If things stay like this I’m going to actually lose my mind….
***
“Alright, Hee-young. Let’s take it slow and work our way back from the most recent. How have you been?”
“…Just listen carefully.”
“Yes, yes. Please tell me everything without holding back. What events happened, and what emotions did you feel?”
Hee-young set his face into a serious expression and let out a long, deep sigh. The doctor’s face grew serious as well, giving Hee-young his full attention.
“A bouquet….”
“A bouquet?”
“A really enormous one. The kind that normal people can’t even hold up. If someone got that — how would a normal person feel?”
Even though Hee-young was talking about something completely unrelated when he’d been asked for an update on his life, the doctor answered calmly.
“It would depend on the circumstances, wouldn’t it? Did someone give you one?”
“No, no, never mind…. I just saw it and it made me think I might be going crazy….”
You thought you might be going crazy because of a bouquet?
“Could it have been a hallucination?”
“It did feel like one. It was genuinely huge.”
At Hee-young’s words, the doctor added hallucination symptoms to the chart.
“When did you see the bouquet?”
“Just now.”
“And you’ve never seen one like it before?”
“Never. Where would I even see something like that.”
“Was it threatening?”
“Ha, how would flowers be threatening? It was big enough to feel threatening, but it was still just a bouquet. Doctor, I said it was a bouquet. Are you listening?”
The doctor nodded at Hee-young’s question. Preserved reality-testing ability, not particularly dangerous delusions either. A new onset of delusions was a bad sign, but this was relatively mild. Medication side effects, or perhaps excessive stress? The doctor wrote quickly on the chart and asked,
“Have you been under any stress recently?”
“Stress? Stress…. Plenty. Plenty of it.”
“What kind?”
“The fact that this world is insane?”
The doctor gave an awkward smile at Hee-young’s words.
“In what way would it be insane?”
“Everything’s insane…. Living like this, I sometimes wonder if I’ll go crazy and die.”
Extreme negative emotions. The doctor wrote rapidly on the chart once more.
“Have there been any changes in your situation recently?”
“Changes? What, when? Everything about me has changed — I wake up and it’s a different world, a different body.”
“Let’s narrow it to just recently. Shall we start from after your Dungeon outing? What would you say has changed the most since you were admitted?”
“Oh, my Dedicated Esper who was always glued to my side got dragged away like a dog. He’s being disciplined, apparently.”
Hee-young answered evenly, while internally piling on every insult he had for Shin-yul. Looking back on it, nothing had felt more satisfying than that. He couldn’t stand the sight of him, so it had worked out perfectly. If Shin-yul appeared grinning again right now, Hee-young felt like he’d die of rage. The sympathy and pity he’d once held for him had long since vanished.
The doctor nodded, listening to Hee-young’s words. He has a high level of dependence on his Esper — and though it’s temporary, it seems the anxiety from losing him, combined with excessive stress, may be the root cause of the hallucinations. For now, it seemed better to address the newly added symptoms before the existing ones and approach again from there, so the doctor erased all the questions he had prepared.
“I see. Understood. I’ll write you a new prescription, so please make sure to take your medication. As for the rest, once the bouquet issue is resolved, let’s revisit everything slowly. It seems like you’re adjusting well.”
What bouquet issue? Is this doctor crazy too?
The doctor, not noticing Hee-young’s displeased expression, hurriedly wrote a medical opinion letter to send to the Center. The contents stated that Guide Yoo Hee-young’s mental state was worsening significantly due to the absence of his Dedicated Esper, and that for the patient’s wellbeing, it would be best to return the Dedicated Esper as soon as possible.
It was the kind of content that would make Hee-young’s jaw drop if he heard it, but the doctor simply smiled and reminded Hee-young to come again next time, or to call if he didn’t want to come in, or to make another appointment anytime if he was busy — he emphasized this two and three times.
“Please make sure to take your medication. And please come on the date I’ve scheduled for you.”
“Yeah, yeah, I know.”
“Make sure to take your medication, and I’ll see you at the next appointment.”
…He said it three times.
Hee-young went yeah, yeah, got it, got it and gave a vague response. They hadn’t talked about anything much in particular, but strangely his heart felt lighter. Hee-young smiled brightly and thought, next time, I mustn’t forget to come.
Back in the patient room, Hee-young glanced with mild displeasure at the flowers scattered here and there — but the moment Ha-ram started the lesson, he focused completely. His lessons were especially useful when it came to understanding the relationship with an Esper. And so he spent a full, productive day, and night fell. Hee-young lay down to sleep that night feeling satisfied for the first time in a while.
Ha-ram had stepped out, saying he was going for an evening walk. Hee-young was going over the things they’d covered in today’s lesson and found himself with several questions, so he waited for Ha-ram to return.
Clatter—
“Oh, you’re back? I had some questions I wanted to—”
“Yeah, princess. I heard you were looking for me?”
The calamity had returned.
