“No, it’s not groping, it’s Guiding….”
“Hm? Tell me your name.”
Cutting off the employee who was trying to correct him, Shin-yul pressed the hand he was holding against his cheek, let out a breathless haah at the Guiding energy washing over him, and pestered him again. Hee-young frowned hard at the sight of him but answered anyway. Having decided for now to adapt to this world and find a way back, Hee-young was prepared to cooperate with them.
“Ah, fuck, seriously…. Can you let go of my hand? You’re giving me the creeps. I don’t even know my own name that well? It’s something like Heen Ooyoo or whatever.”
“Heen Ooyoo? You’re already asking me to call you by a pet name? That’s cute….”
“Is Esper just another word for a mental patient?”
The employees, meeting Hee-young’s horrified expression, bowed their heads in unison. God…. That guy’s no help at all….
“Hee-young. Your name is Hee-young. Yoo Hee-young.”
“If you already knew, why the hell did you ask? Are you seriously crazy? And who do you think you are, calling an adult by their first name like that.”
“Then what should I call you?”
Shin-yul’s bright, smiling question made Hee-young’s mouth clamp shut. He scowled deeply as he wrestled with the question, then finally let out a sigh and answered as if he had no other choice.
“Fuck…. Just… call me Ajeossi….”
Not uncle, that would be too much even for me. He added that caveat, and Shin-yul smiled and immediately answered, Yes, Ajeossi.
The employees watched, awkwardly amused, as the young man with an obviously boyish face knelt on the bathroom floor, warmly addressing Hee-young as “Ajeossi” while practically begging and wooing him.
“Ah, originally you were scheduled to meet at The Center, but today we’ll just be registering Hee-young as a Guide and then moving to the accommodations…. Shin-yul will also be clearing out his old place and moving to a larger pair unit, so we came along to guide you both.”
“Hm?”
Hee-young’s eyes twitched. What is this kid saying.
The employee smiled brightly in response to Hee-young’s confused voice.
“We promised to provide company housing! It’s brand new, and the location is great….”
“No, wait. Hold on.”
“Yes?”
“Doesn’t that sound a little off? The housing is…?”
“Yes! We’re providing you with housing! We’ve arranged a nice new place so you can live comfortably with Shin-yul! It’s fully furnished, so you can just show up!”
The employee’s voice was full of pride, but Hee-young answered with a look of pure shock.
“So you’re saying we have to live together?”
Hee-young whipped his head around and came face to face with those golden eyes, smiling away at him.
“With him?”
At Hee-young’s words, the employees from another department who had just walked into the hospital room looked utterly baffled.
The employees who saw Hee-young’s face crumple realized their mistake and scrambled to smooth things over, but the staff who were meeting Hee-young for the first time stepped forward first. Wasn’t it obvious that a paired Guide and Esper would live together?
Nothing about this was obvious to Hee-young — but the world was not a forgiving place, and one flustered employee who had witnessed his shock spoke up carefully.
“Well, we did tell you that you’d be paired with Esper Han Shin-yul, didn’t we?”
“Yeah, but that’s one thing — living together is a completely different story!”
When Hee-young snapped back, the employees tilted their heads again. What is?
Seeing the confused looks on their faces, Hee-young felt dizzy and rubbed at his temples. This insane world…. Seriously….
“No, do people normally live together?”
“My princess, I’ll make you happy.”
“You, shut up!”
Hee-young had genuinely been trying his hardest to adapt to this utterly deranged world. A world where monsters appeared. A world where it didn’t matter if you were a man or a woman — if you got along, you just got married. He’d told himself he could accept all of it. He’d even tried to accept the revelation that the Esper matched to him was the crazy golden-eyed lunatic standing right in front of him. But living together was a different matter entirely.
When he’d first come up to Seoul from Naju, he’d hated even being around the organization members, so despite having no money, he’d scraped together enough to rent a room at a goshiwon and lived alone by sheer stubbornness — that was how much he despised living with other people.
And now he was supposed to shack up with this lunatic? Please, God, let this be a lie.
“Is… is there any way we could live separately?”
“Uh… approval has already come down from the higher-ups…. Your only option would be to find your own place….”
The support department employee who was meeting Hee-young for the first time stumbled over his words in panic, and Deputy Seong stepped forward to smooth things over.
“I’m sorry. We proceeded according to standard policy even knowing your situation. For now, please live together, and afterward we’ll look into getting approval for separate housing. Either way, once your Guide training gets underway and Shin-yul clears the Dungeons that have piled up, Guiding is going to be needed a lot and often — so even if you had separate places, you’d practically be joined at the hip anyway. Living together until you get used to things isn’t a bad idea. You’re not in great health right now either. What would happen if you collapsed alone? Hmm?”
Of course, The Center had no intention of separating an S-rank pair, and before that even mattered, Shin-yul would never let Hee-young leave — but Deputy Seong forced a smile and rattled off only what Hee-young wanted to hear.
Seeing an employee who was easily twenty years his junior sweating bullets trying to manage his mood, Hee-young realized there was no going back and let out a long, weary sigh. Fine, okay… He said weakly, then shuffled out of the bathroom and trudged back toward the bed to lie down.
“Ah, you can be discharged now. The discharge paperwork has been completed downstairs.”
“What?”
Hey, at least give me time to mentally prepare…. Even as Hee-young looked devastated, Shin-yul stuck close to his side, fussing over him tenderly and beaming — My princess, want to wear some pretty clothes? I bought some for you.
“No, you little shit….”
“They’ll really suit you. I bought a whole closetful for the new place too.”
“Must be deaf on top of everything else….”
***
Hee-young, dressed in a white sweatshirt and a light pink cardigan, stared sulkily at the sedan parked in front of him.
The moment he’d seen the clothes, he’d kicked up a fuss — he wasn’t wearing them, he’d leave in the hospital gown if he had to — but because of the lunatic who’d just smiled and torn the hospital gown off him by force, he’d had no choice but to swallow his pride and put them on, and now he hated the world.
Hee-young flapped the oversized cardigan sleeves and muttered sarcastically.
“I heard there are a lot of people with powers — is there no teleportation or anything? Do you all get around by car?”
“Ah, there are a few, but they’re on a mission right now so we couldn’t call them. Those Espers were dying to come out and welcome Shin-yul’s Guide when they heard you finally appeared — we’ll introduce you later.”
“Wait, I said that as a throwaway comment and that’s actually a real thing…?”
Whether Hee-young answered dumbly or not, the employees and Shin-yul were busy getting the car set up. The employees were pulling the car around and setting the navigation, while Shin-yul had produced a blanket from somewhere, spread it on the back seat, and tucked a cute little cushion into Hee-young’s arms.
This little—is he messing with me….
Hee-young flung the cushion away. It shot through the air at speed — and then floated gently up into the sky.
“What the hell! Shit!”
“Oh, Princess wanted a ball instead of a cushion? I’ll buy you a rubber ball for home.”
“No, what the hell is that?!”
Hee-young jumped back in shock, and the employee who had just pulled the car around spotted the cushion drifting in midair through the window and shouted.
“Han Shin-yul! I told you not to use your ability!”
“I was only told no inside the hospital….”
“You walk out the front door and you’re not immediately at the hospital? Hm? The parking lot isn’t part of the hospital?”
“A shared parking lot isn’t really the hospital, is it, Deputy?”
“Hm?”
Listening to the back-and-forth between the two employees, Hee-young muttered blankly. The cat-shaped cushion drifted lazily through the air, drawing a heart.
“Is this your ability?”
“Yep. Do you like it? I can lift you up too, Princess.”
“Holy shit, this is actually real….”
“When we get home I’ll lift you up and play with you. This place is full of nagging.”
Seeing an Esper’s ability up close was truly astonishing and staggering — and Hee-young, unable to fire back at Shin-yul’s nonsense, just kept standing there in a daze. Shin-yul laughed like he found it endearing, then scooped up Hee-young’s slender frame in a bridal carry and climbed into the car. The cushion that had been floating in the air glided in after them and nestled snugly into Hee-young’s arms.
Holy shit…. This guy’s ability is insane….
Hee-young stared at the handsome face with wide, stunned eyes. Apparently liking the feeling of being looked at, Shin-yul smiled brightly and pressed kiss after kiss — smooch, smooch — onto Hee-young’s soft cheek, and only then did Hee-young seem to snap back to his senses. He let out a shriek and started smacking the solid body over and over, but the blanket that had risen on its own wrapped around him like a baby swaddle, and all he could do was shriek.
“Are you going to let me go or not? Hm? Are you insane!”
“They seem to be getting along — it’s nice to see! Guide training is starting up soon too, so I’m not worried.”
“You all need to get your eyes checked! You’re all crazy!”
“Ha ha, I had a health checkup last week! Thanks for the concern!”
“Ugh!”
It wasn’t for nothing that they’d become Han Shin-yul’s assigned team. Their mental fortitude, their ability to let things slide with just the right amount of flexibility, and their laid-back whatever, sure attitude surpassed everyone else at The Center.
At first they’d been flustered, seeing a boy with a delicate, pretty face spouting nonsensical things — but once they thought of him as being similar to Han Shin-yul, their usual personalities came right back. Which is to say: at The Center, Yoo Hee-young had been classified as the equivalent of the resident menace Han Shin-yul.
The noisy, lively car sped along the road and arrived at The Center. Located on the outskirts of Seoul, The Center sat on a vast campus-like grounds with several buildings spread across it.
The frail body, having exhausted itself screaming on the way over, was thoroughly wrapped in the blanket like a newborn and could only gasp for breath. Trash stamina…. Hee-young wheezed and looked over at Shin-yul — who was still pressing kisses onto him and nibbling lightly with his teeth — with an utterly fed-up expression. What the hell is wrong with this guy.
“…Ha, fuck. What’s that over there. What did you say your name was again? Whatever, you’re a crazy bastard.”
“Han Shin-yul.”
“…Right, Han Shin-yul. I think my right cheek is about to swell up.”
“Want me to do the left one too?”
“I said stop it….”
The employee who had finished parking spoke up hesitantly to a Hee-young responding in an exhausted voice.
“Um, Hee-young. There’s something I need to tell you….”
“Can you peel him off me first and then talk?”
“The Center knows about your condition. Of course, we didn’t disclose the specific diagnosis. We only said that your Manifestation and the accident overlapping had caused a mild psychotic episode — but given the nature of The Center, where joint missions like entering Dungeons together are common, most people here can access rough information about those they work with. So….”
“Ah, whatever. It’s not wrong, and it’s not like I’m actually crazy. The doctor said so too. Post-traumatic… something. Some kind of disorder. Anyway. Even the doctor didn’t know the proper name for it. How do you even explain suddenly being dropped into another world with your body swapped. That’s explanation enough.”
Ah… The employees nodded awkwardly. A proper name did come out, actually.
Reverse Intermetamorphosis. A diagnosis he’d never heard of in his life — but at the end of the day it was classified as a type of delusional disorder, and it was described as the condition of believing oneself to be a different person. The dialect he spoke, the events of his past, his acquaintances, the common sense he held — all of it was categorized as a form of delusion. Everyone around him had been walking on eggshells, since confronting him and denying it as delusion could provoke even stronger resistance.
Fortunately his negative reactions no longer seemed as severe as they had been at first, so the treatment plan was set as follows: stay by his guardian’s side, engage in appropriate social activity, naturally correct his skewed understanding of reality, gradually emerge from the delusion, and slowly reclaim his own identity. The Center had agonized over whether to inform the employees, Espers, and Guides — but ultimately decided to give just a mild heads-up, fearing that people who witnessed Hee-young’s unusual behavior without any warning would do him more harm than good.
They’d worried Hee-young might object to this, but Hee-young, with his blunt, no-nonsense personality, didn’t seem to mind.
Reassured by that, the employees stepped out of the car.
“Hey, are you all ignoring me? I said get him off me, didn’t I?”
“If you keep throwing a fit, I’ll kiss you.”
“Shit, I’m going insane….”
Shin-yul pressed one final firm kiss to his cheek and then climbed out of the car with Hee-young still wrapped in his arms. In the increasingly chilly weather, his damp right cheek felt cold.
“Put me down now.”
“How is my princess supposed to walk?”
“Why can’t I walk? Did you break my legs without me knowing?”
“I want to…. So I can carry you around for the rest of my life.”
What?
“You’re kidding, right? Shit, hey. Tell me that’s a joke. Hey, shit, hurry up!”
