Why did he come that day.
That was the first thought that surfaced the moment he woke from the long dream.
Seowoo blinked his dry, heavy eyes and slowly gathered his senses. The reason his throat felt stuffy and warm was that Dano had fallen asleep with his legs draped over him. He fiddled with the soft little foot resting near his face and gently sat up — and there was Dano, lying sideways across the bed beside him.
What on earth is he dreaming about. He straightened the child out, who was sleeping in some indecipherable position, and tucked him back in properly — and then the camera sitting on the nightstand caught his eye.
Last night, Lee Hyeon had come back after returning to his lodgings and left it for him.
“I didn’t know what model you were using, so I just brought mine. If it’s inconvenient, say so. I can swap it out.”
There’s plenty of time.
The words he had added sounded, to Seowoo’s ears, like: don’t even think about running.
Seowoo let out a long sigh, got up right away, and took out his medication. It was strong enough that even one bite of food beforehand was recommended — but there was no time for that. Dano was still deep asleep, and he needed to wash off the sticky feeling from his body, so he rushed straight into the bathroom.
His upper body was drenched in sweat from the dream and felt unpleasant enough — but below was so flooded and slick it was almost embarrassing to look at. His body, which went into heat at the most inconvenient times, had completely lost all restraint ever since he started seeing Lee Hyeon again.
“Huu……”
Hot water seemed to only fan the heat further, so he turned the tap to cold instead. He stood under it for a long time until his skin stung — but what had risen below stubbornly refused to cool.
It had been roughly a month after moving here that Seowoo found out there was a baby growing inside him. Under Donghyeok’s relentless urging, he had worked up the courage to try reaching out to Lee Hyeon — but had been turned away at the secretary level every single time.
Watching Seowoo unable to go in person and unable to push harder, Donghyeok had been exasperated. He had reasoned that if he just went and told Lee Hyeon about the child, nothing so terrible would come of it. That Lee Hyeon probably hadn’t attached as much meaning to that one night as Seowoo had.
He had thought Donghyeok was right. It was a child made by both of them — the rational thing was to inform him plainly and reach a conclusion together. It had already happened, and it had happened to his own body, so he knew he should have handled it with complete level-headedness.
Only — that night had left too vivid and too shocking an impression on Seowoo. It had settled in his chest long ago as something he could not bear to treat carelessly. Seowoo remembered everything about that night — the air, the scent, Lee Hyeon’s expression, his voice. He had not forgotten even a single strand of hair that had grazed his cheek.
It was when dawn was breaking through the large window of the atelier at Suryeon. A bluish light had crept across the marble from the edges, and then a long streak of deep orange had drawn a line across the man’s back.
“Are you alright?”
Free from the storm of pheromones, Lee Hyeon’s face had looked somewhat complicated. The alpha who had agreed with a sweet voice, saying let’s celebrate — that person was gone, replaced by what looked, on the surface, almost like guilt.
It was then that Seowoo realized he had swayed him with his pheromones.
“I’m perfectly fine. It’s…… nothing, really.”
He too had been in a daze from the shock of his first time, and the lie had been scrambled together out of reckless bravado. Lee Hyeon had said nothing in response. He had only looked at Seowoo with those familiar dark eyes.
That was all. Perhaps because of that — the memory of that night had taken up residence inside Seowoo like something fragile and irreplaceable.
Months had passed since then. Summoning the courage to tell Lee Hyeon that an irrevocable piece of evidence had been born from the night they had shared — that did not come easily. Even imagining what expression he might make was painful enough.
Not knowing at all what decision Lee Hyeon might make regarding the child — that was what terrified him.
“Hnng……”
The hand working below was rough, but the sensation built steadily all the same. The heat that refused to cool even under cold water gathered at the tip, flushed and aching. Seowoo curled under the shower and came with a harsh shudder. The release that shot out was thin as water from the frequency of his heats.
Rinsing the faint stain from the bathroom tiles, Seowoo felt a bitter contempt for himself. Does he know about the heat that arrived like punishment for deciding to have the baby alone. He was curious how much Lee Hyeon might have guessed from his medical records — but there was no way to ask.
Handling it alone by his own hand was already reaching its limits, and he had no idea how much longer he could hold out in front of the real thing standing right before his eyes.
Shaking out his wet hair as if to clear his mind, Seowoo stepped out of the bathroom — and stopped dead at the sight of Lee Hyeon sitting squarely at the kitchen table. He swallowed the heart that had leapt to his throat and forced his voice to sound composed.
“How did you get in?”
“We’ll need to go shopping first.”
Lee Hyeon answered while tugging at his shirt hem, apparently finding the slightly small shirt suffocating. It was clearly borrowed from Donghyeok. The realization that Donghyeok must have been the one to let him in made Seowoo grind his teeth — but it dissolved almost immediately. His eyes had gotten caught on Lee Hyeon’s shoulders and chest straining against the fabric, the shadow of his upper arm muscles standing out distinctly.
Reflexively, Seowoo recalled the dream from last night, and his breathing went a little short. Even after what he had just done in the bathroom. He rolled his eyes downward and dropped his gaze.
“I haven’t found a part-timer yet.”
“I found one.”
“……Pardon?”
“Donghyeok agreed to do it, actually.”
This is absurd. That Ji Donghyeok, what on earth is he……
“Well — apparently he’s put quite a lot of his own effort into that shop too. Said he’d be the best person to look after it. Isn’t that right?”
“……No. He’s right. Yes.”
“Get ready at your own pace. I’ll wait. Drop the baby off first, then we can go shopping together.”
“Do I have to go shopping with you too?”
“Well?”
“Never mind.”
The look in his eyes that said what kind of question is that drained every last drop of Seowoo’s will to argue back.
***
The sounds from the living room stirred Dano awake. Like every morning, he climbed down from the bed on his own, rubbed his face against Seowoo’s leg as his version of a morning greeting, and headed to the bathroom himself.
He walked slowly into the bathroom Seowoo had wiped dry, eyes still half-closed, and methodically pulled down his pants and night diaper. After his morning business, he placed the step stool under the sink, climbed up, and began washing his hands and face. Even standing on the stool he had to go up on his toes, and the sight of those small, compact little toes holding their ground so diligently was something to be proud of.
It was a familiar morning scene to Seowoo and Dano — but entirely foreign to Lee Hyeon. Before long, he was resting his chin in his hand, observing Dano with full attention. By the time the child finished a spectacularly messy face-wash that had soaked his shirt through and was carefully pressing out lotion onto his palm, Lee Hyeon had let out a sound of genuine admiration.
“……I’m not really sure about these things, but — is it normal for children his age to be like this?”
“No. It’s because I was lacking, so Dano grew up fast.”
Seowoo answered with a slightly awkward smile as he changed Dano’s clothes.
“Bap-ba eat!”
“I know. Just a moment.”
His sentences were clumsy and his pronunciation was all over the place — undeniably a small child, and yet. Lee Hyeon watched Dano with a lingering gaze as the boy settled into his high chair and waited to be fed, then got up to brew himself some coffee.
The way he helped himself to a capsule from the dispenser sitting on the kitchen table — as though he were in his own home — was shamelessly natural. Setting aside how absurd it was, it was just plain puzzling, and Seowoo stepped in front of him.
“You don’t drink coffee, do you?”
“I started a while back.”
As he answered, Lee Hyeon blinked. He had started drinking coffee because of severe migraines — but since arriving here, he hadn’t been in pain at all, so did he really need it? That thought had just crossed his mind, but he had missed his chance to put the capsule down when Seowoo took it right out of his hands.
In a household where a three-year-old washed his own face, Seowoo naturally brewed the coffee for Lee Hyeon as though he were someone even less capable. He held out the steaming mug and was in the middle of asking, Do you want a little milk in it? — when Lee Hyeon couldn’t help but laugh.
“I’ve been thinking since yesterday — what exactly is the image you have of me in your head?”
In place of Seowoo, who had no reply, Dano cheerfully piped up.
“This is ‘tato, this is carrot, this is brocky. This is…… daikon!”
Seowoo clapped for him, and Dano proudly raised his spoon and pointed to himself, then to Seowoo, then to Lee Hyeon in turn.
“Dano, Dano appa Seowoo, arrtist.”
Lee Hyeon’s mouth quirked at the corner, and he corrected it right away.
“Hyeon. My name is Hyeon.”
“Hyung-a!”
“Not hyung — Hyeon. Lee Hyeon.”
“Lee Hyung?”
While they were going back and forth, Donghyeok pushed open the front door and walked in. Dano spotted him and stomped his feet in delight.
“Hyuung-aaaa!”
“This little guy’s really talking back now, isn’t he?”
The bright grin and the easy warmth of his voice — you could mistake the two of them for father and son. Lee Hyeon leveled a pointed stare at them, while Seowoo walked quickly over to Donghyeok and took the pile of dry laundry he had brought.
“Oh, Hyeok. When you head to the shop later, check if the ceramic coaster and mini frame orders came in, and pass along to Sangoh that he should check his email for the revised menu illustration. And also——”
Seowoo’s voice was just as easy and familiar as Dano’s had been. Donghyeok, natural as if it were his own home, cleared Dano’s finished dishes and helped the child with his teeth. Even through all of that, the back-and-forth about the shop never stopped. Lee Hyeon sat watching the three of them with an eyebrow raised, feeling something unfamiliar stir in him. A strange sense of being left out. A prickling irritation, like a thorn lodged in the sole of a foot.
Donghyeok finished up and headed out again, and once Dano was fully ready for daycare, Seowoo straightened up and finally turned his gaze to Lee Hyeon.
“Would you like to wait here until I’m back, or come with me? The walk to the daycare makes for a nice route.”
“Is my name Artist?”
“Pardon?”
He wasn’t asking because he didn’t understand why the question had been asked. Seowoo’s unguarded face flushed pink almost immediately.
Because the only time he had called him ‘Hyeon’ — had been just that once.
