Sensing Gi-hyeon’s gaze, he looked straight up toward the second floor. His sharp eyes didn’t wander — they landed precisely on Gi-hyeon.
“……”
Gwok Un stared at Gi-hyeon in silence for a long time. His mouth went dry under that piercing, unreadable gaze.
“Young Master?”
At the Butler’s prompt, Gwok Un pulled his gaze away from Gi-hyeon and moved on. Before long, Gwok Un entered the private room.
“Were you waiting?”
It was a remarkably brazen thing to say from someone who had made him sit there like a forgotten sack for two hours. As was typical of him, Gwok Un sat down without a word of explanation. He looked at the mirror across from him and smoothed his hair with a large hand.
“They’ll be here in thirty minutes.”
At the mansion, Gwok Un went around practically underdressed, but outside he always insisted on suits, which made his age difficult to gauge. Wearing pastel-toned knitwear and white slacks — unlike his usual style — he finally looked his actual age. Many people had forgotten it, blinded by his domineering manner and silver tongue, but he was only twenty-five this year. Looking at the cheeks that still had a faint down to them, Gi-hyeon felt a pang of conscience.
“The Director was very displeased. It was a rare occasion for her to attend, and someone went and ruined it.”
“……”
“This luncheon was hard enough to arrange. I won’t tolerate any more mistakes. Understood?”
“I’m sorry.”
“I didn’t say that to hear something like that. Conduct yourself properly.”
“That’s not what I’m apologizing for.”
The hand smoothing his hair hesitated. Gwok Un looked at Gi-hyeon through the mirror. Gi-hyeon opened his mouth, hoping his sincerity would reach him.
“I thought you had to bear it alone.”
“……”
“If you want me to act like Eun-hyeong, I can do that. That’s what you wanted from me from the beginning, after all. But I don’t think that would be good for you. No matter how perfectly I mimic Eun-hyeong, it would feel hollow — no one can replace him……”
Even as the gaps between his words grew loose from carefully choosing them, Gwok Un didn’t reproach him. Before he realized it, Gwok Un was no longer looking at Gi-hyeon through the mirror — he was looking at him directly.
“But you kept catching my eye.”
Gwok Un’s slowly blinking eyes went still. The steady rise and fall of his chest stopped.
“I thought I’d been too harsh when all I needed to do was stay by your side. If I had known I’d regret it this much, I wouldn’t have done it……. Your face when you were crying kept coming to mind, and I wanted to apologize.”
“……”
“But my thoughts haven’t changed. When you think of Eun-hyeong, it will be painful and everything will feel disillusioning. But I hope you don’t let yourself be buried in that grief. I hope Eun-hyeong’s death doesn’t become the thing that defines you. You’re too precious a person for that.”
The burn scar on Gwok Un’s pale neck flushed ever so slightly. He cut off the words with a turn of his head.
“I understand, so stop.”
The hand that reached to take Gi-hyeon’s glass looked somehow flustered. Even after draining the full glass of water, Gwok Un’s cheeks were still red. He set the glass down and pressed at his cheek.
“I thought you’d make a fuss about wasting your time coming here……”
“Two hours is getting off cheap.”
Even at the playful remark, Gwok Un didn’t smile. For a moment he fell into silence, and Gi-hyeon awkwardly scratched his cheek. He had been lost in his own thoughts for a while, as if he’d forgotten Gi-hyeon was beside him, when he opened his mouth.
“Gi-hyeon-ah.”
Seeing Gi-hyeon’s eyes go wide, Gwok Un smiled faintly. This was only the second time Gwok Un had called Gi-hyeon by his name. It was a name that had been called so many times over a lifetime it was worn smooth, yet every time he said it, it felt unfamiliar. He had been about to say something but closed his mouth again. Hesitation pooled thick on his red lips. After a long moment of wavering, Gwok Un finally spoke.
“I never said this, but for a newcomer to receive sponsorship from me is not a good thing. A fresh-faced newcomer debuting on the back of my name makes for interesting gossip……. Those people will tear into you like jackals.”
Having finished speaking, Gwok Un dropped his gaze. Gi-hyeon looked quietly at the shadow that had fallen over Gwok Un’s face.
“I looked at your portfolio. It wasn’t bad. More than anything, I found your detached attitude interesting — it reminded me of a sharp-tongued modernist. But that’s as far as it goes. Technical artists as skilled as you are rare, but not unique. If someone went looking, they’d find them.”
“……”
“But the paintings you made at the mansion were different. You have a talent for pulling back the personas of others. With the right sponsor, you’d probably become famous soon enough — comfortably, without any noise. But if you take sponsorship from me.”
Beneath the calm voice lay a deep, settled resignation.
“I will eat away at your achievements. My name and wealth, my young age and appearance — even my sexual orientation……”
At the self-deprecating words, Gi-hyeon recalled a time when he himself had looked down on Gwok Un. He had thought it only natural that Gwok Un, born gripping enormous wealth he could never hope to touch, would succeed. When those who were jealous of Gwok Un whispered that he must have lobbied with his body, Gi-hyeon had thought it possible. But now he understood that everything Gwok Un possessed was an obstacle standing in his way.
Those who said Gwok Un had succeeded simply by being born to the right parents didn’t know. They didn’t know about the study where the light never went out, and the eyes that were always bloodshot. Those bewitched by Gwok Un’s striking looks didn’t know — didn’t know the burning desire and pride that seethed beneath his smooth skin. How long must it have taken to become unaffected in the face of labels and prejudices that clung no matter how hard he worked.
“While you’re under me, there will be many miserable days. People who know nothing will speak as if they know everything, and they may not look at your paintings properly at all. There may come a day when you want to give up everything you’ve spent your whole life painting.”
Gwok Un spoke as though reciting not Gi-hyeon’s future, but someone else’s life. He murmured quietly.
“But if you endure it — if you just hold on until the very end……”
Gwok Un lifted his head and looked at Gi-hyeon. In the pale eyes that met his, countless dreams were surging.
“I’ll bring you to the top.”
Gi-hyeon couldn’t take his eyes off Gwok Un. Being moved by him was a matter of a single moment. He suddenly thought of the bullfight he had seen in Spain. The same thrill he had felt watching a bull whose eyes burned fierce and wild even with spears driven into it coursed through him again.
“Can you endure me?”
It felt as though Gwok Un was offering him one last chance to back out. In truth, Gi-hyeon also knew that Gwok Un was a double-edged sword. He remembered clearly the fingers that had reached toward Eun-hyeong without hesitation, and the mouths that had said whatever they pleased. They would hold Gi-hyeon to the same standard and pick apart his every move. Even if he produced results like Eun-hyeong, he’d only break even — and if he didn’t, he’d plummet. Maybe the critics would tear him apart so badly he’d never be able to make a comeback. But even if that future was waiting for him.
“Gladly.”
Gi-hyeon wanted to stake his future not on Gwok Un’s fame, but on his vision. At the unhesitating answer, the shadow that had fallen over Gwok Un lifted. He smiled brightly with a face Gi-hyeon had never seen before.
When the hour hand pointed to eleven, the door to the private room opened again. Gwok Un rose to his feet when he saw the Director of Yale, and Gi-hyeon rose as well. Gwok Un greeted her with a warm, gentle smile.
“I hope you had no trouble getting here?”
The Director responded to Gwok Un’s welcome with a gracious smile. She had been about to take the seat across from them when she noticed Gi-hyeon and paused. Her arched brows lifted — as if she had recalled the party that had devolved into chaos. The Director placed the shopping bag she was holding directly onto the table.
“I got here comfortably enough thanks to President Gwok. But anyway.”
When Gi-hyeon’s gaze reached her, the Director pushed the shopping bag toward him with her fingertips without so much as looking at him.
“I dislike being in debt.”
“……I’ll accept it with gratitude.”
The stubbornly pressed-shut lips made it plain she was only holding back for Gwok Un’s sake. Though she appeared open-minded at first glance, with her experimental projects and aggressive marketing, the Director was in truth more conservative and exclusionary than anyone. The story of how she had personally broken the arrogance of the complacent artists she had sponsored was well-known in art circles. It was obvious how someone famous for valuing humility and manners above all else would view Gi-hyeon.
This is going to be a rough ride.
He already felt his stomach turning, and they hadn’t even started eating yet. Gwok Un leisurely wiped his hands and glanced sideways at Gi-hyeon. Noticing that Gi-hyeon, who had been leaning back at an angle in his chair, had now straightened his back, Gwok Un curved his eyes. He tapped Gi-hyeon’s thigh under the table.
“……?”
When Gi-hyeon’s eyes met his, Gwok Un pulled at the corner of his mouth. He glanced sideways at the Director and silently mouthed the words.
Don’t fall asleep.
The playful lip movement freed Gi-hyeon from the weight of the pressure. Gwok Un, watching the side of Gi-hyeon’s face as he swallowed his laughter, smiled lazily.
It was only today that Gi-hyeon learned that Gwok Un also had a certain flair for socializing. The Gwok Un who would unleash verbal abuse and raise his hand when things didn’t go his way was unbelievably warm and personable. He led the conversation by bringing up a wide variety of topics and naturally drew Gi-hyeon into the flow. Before long, even the Director, whose discomfort had been plainly visible, broke into laughter. The high-quality course meal and Gwok Un’s attentiveness were more than enough to open a closed heart.
When dessert was served, Gwok Un brought out Gi-hyeon’s portfolio. The Director’s expression stiffened when she saw the file. Frost-edged eyes turned toward Gwok Un. Pulling out a portfolio just as her mood was finally softening was a significant risk. But even as the painstakingly built tower threatened to crumble, Gwok Un was still smiling. He held the half-withdrawn portfolio and tilted his head.
“I remembered you saying you wanted to see it, so I prepared it — I hope it won’t be a bother?”
In his guileless, blinking expression, there was not even a trace of ulterior motive. The Director let her guard down.
“Well, looking at it is fine enough.”
Looking somewhat embarrassed for having been unnecessarily oversensitive, the Director took a small sip of coffee. She set the cup down and flipped open the portfolio with a look of mild indifference. But before long, she had completely forgotten even the soufflé she had been so fond of.
The portfolio, composed of works handpicked by Gwok Un, spanned everything from oil paintings and ink wash paintings with a modern sensibility to avant-garde installation art, covering the full range of genres. With each page that turned, more force went into the wrinkled hands holding the portfolio. A deep crease formed between the Director’s brows as she looked at the unfinished portrait of Gwok Un. After studying the portrait for a long time, the Director opened her mouth.
“I was of two minds about it, but……”
