# Chapter 75.
Actor Ryu Doha loved the romantic comedy genre, was deeply attached to his work, and was considerate of his co-stars and viewers by not openly showing his romantic relationship with Jaei on set.
However, at this moment, the most important thing to Doha was that Jaei not get hurt. Jaei’s feelings not being hurt was more important than others’ gazes.
Although there were still mountains of memories to recover, he was certain that he had cherished Jaei more than his own life and loved him with a sincere heart. That feeling was evident just by looking at Jaei’s pretty face and holding him in his arms. Every time their skin touched, his chest felt cold and tingly, like a pin-cushioned plush doll.
He disliked seeing Jaei hurt and sad. This wasn’t a memory but an instinct. He hated seeing him disliked by others, being sad, or even falling down and hurting himself. The idea of Ryu Doha himself being the one to hurt Jaei was unimaginable.
“Please trust me. I was born for hyung. If hyung told me right now to jump into a river, I would!”
“Even during the rainy season?”
“Even then.”
He expressed his extreme love with a desperate determination that if he didn’t clear up Jaei’s misunderstanding right away, it would be over. Of course, it wasn’t just words—he could actually follow through.
Knowing that Doha wasn’t the type to speak carelessly, Jaei dried his tears completely. As his eyes dried, belief bubbled up from the bottom of his feet, making his lips curl upward. His sharp, pointed gaze instantly became gentle.
Ryu Doha’s senior, Lee Jaei, mindful of the surrounding gazes, quickly helped Doha stand up. Regardless of what year Ryu Doha and Seo Eunho were born, at this moment, Jaei was the most adult and the most experienced senior on set.
“It’s problematic for you to show such devotion to me here. This is an outdoor filming location. Many people are watching.”
After helping Doha stand, he crouched down to make his body small, personally dusting off Doha’s dirty school uniform pants. At this moment, he was Lee Jaei, the older brother of young Lee Doha.
Doha gently placed his hand on Jaei’s head with sad eyes. Jaei looked up at Doha contemplatively. In Doha’s pupils, the heart-shaped light had increased by two more, making a total of five sparkling brightly.
Of course, there was no way Doha could like someone else at the same time. Though he had no idea what was suddenly happening.
Standing up straight, Jaei spoke maturely and kindly to Seo Eunho.
“Let’s have our personal conversation after filming is finished, and focus on the shoot for now. Your name is Eunho-ssi, right? I’m not sure if you originally knew about the relationship between Doha and me or not, but feel free to tell me whatever you want to say later.”
At that moment, Doha glared fiercely at Seo Eunho and stepped boldly toward him. Jaei patted Doha and quickly hid him behind his back. Of course, the giant baby wasn’t hidden at all behind Jaei’s body, and Seo Eunho, confirming Doha’s threatening face that might appear once in 20 years, said with a scared expression:
“I think I was mistaken. I thought we liked each other.”
At Seo Eunho’s pitiful voice, Jaei sighed, feeling a myriad of emotions. Actually, thinking about it, it was surprising that this kind of love triangle incident hadn’t occurred between Doha and him before. It should have happened much earlier. During his long time in the entertainment industry, he had witnessed triangular relationships, rectangular relationships, and up to octagonal relationships.
In fact, several of Jaei’s entertainment industry colleagues had gotten into fights over romantic entanglements, been dragged to police stations, but desperately blocked press coverage.
With eyes full of indignation, Doha kept his gaze on Jaei and said sorrowfully:
“I’m going crazy with frustration, but I don’t know what to do. I can’t hit a younger colleague at work.”
“It’s okay, everyone calm down. Let’s do our work first and then talk over something delicious. We’ll sort out everyone’s positions.”
Having decided to enjoy this incident, Jaei maturely calmed down Doha and Seo Eunho while maintaining his reason. However, three seconds later, he was hit with an uppercut as if to show him.
“Doha, you made me misunderstand.”
At Seo Eunho’s words, Jaei’s eye corners, shoulders, and hands drooped down. There was nothing more to discuss with Seo Eunho. Regardless of the truth, Seo Eunho himself could escape by claiming it wasn’t a lie, while simultaneously damaging the trust towards Ryu Doha.
In fact, Ryu Doha was an amazing child who started dating without saying “let’s date” to Lee Jaei. So Jaei was consistently confused by his behavior until Doha turned 13.
Was someone holding a 20cm Lee Jaei doll and sticking needles into it? It felt like his chest and nose were being poked with large needles. The trust towards Doha that had bubbled up inside his empty shell was leaking out through a small hole.
Right at this moment, the Actor of the Year award was confirmed. The acting skills of the renowned actor Lee Jaei had been upgraded and were exploding.
Jaei, who was playing the role of a rude male protagonist in the drama, was filming a scene where he verbally abused Doha, who was in a competitive relationship with him over the female lead, saying, “You little punk, don’t go around being kind to just anyone, relying on your face.”
That peach-like face that had never looked hateful before somehow looked like a dragon’s face today. Jaei spat out his lines to Doha in perfect pronunciation, and thanks to that, Doha was able to excellently express a look of anxiety and sadness.
After filming ended, Jaei bowed so deeply to the staff that his neck might break, so that Doha could observe and learn. Doha bowed so deeply that his waist might break. Jaei, who had experienced extreme emotional energy consumption along with physical labor, became unable to walk normally.
The invalid, who was stumbling toward his car, was soon lifted by Doha’s two arms. Limp like a piece of paper in Doha’s embrace, Jaei got into his car and spoke, blinking his eyes slowly as if leaving his last words before taking his last breath.
“When you arrive home, go to apartment 902. The password is your birthdate. Enter the dressing room and open the leftmost built-in cabinet door. There are memories of your first life. If you open the second door, there should be memories of your second life.”
“No, don’t die! Kill me instead!”
Despite Doha’s desperate plea, Jaei dropped his hand and fell asleep as if fainting. It was sleep to recharge his energy.
Three hours later, Jaei woke up in the dressing room like a sleeping desert fox. He was lying neatly on one side of the dressing room, with his hands folded tidily on his stomach, covered with a blanket.
In front of Jaei’s eyes, the large and beautiful Doha had collapsed, looking as pure and pitiful as Snow White who had eaten the poisoned apple. Next to Doha were traces of his past life scattered around. It seemed he had fainted while extracting memories buried in his mind.
After recharging his energy and becoming able to walk upright alone, Jaei walked out of the dressing room to get painkillers, a bottle of water, and a straw, and came back. Looking down at Doha, whose white face had turned as red as fruit, he kissed his cheeks and lips as if entranced. However, since Doha hadn’t eaten a poisoned apple, he didn’t wake up from the kiss. Jaei had no choice but to pat his cheeks with his palm to wake him.
“Hey. Ryu Doha, Ryu Doha. Wake up.”
Doha, whose cheek had been patted, regained consciousness and opened his eyes faintly. Jaei groaned and sat him up like a bundle. When Doha moaned and opened his lips, Jaei slipped a painkiller between his lips and put a straw in his mouth.
“Be careful not to get it stuck in your throat.”
While Doha drank water and swallowed the medicine, Jaei wiped away his cold sweat. When Doha had roughly gathered his wits and was able to converse normally, Jaei pinched his thigh hard with his fingers and bit his arm fiercely, torturing him roughly while asking:
“So how much do you remember now?”
“For now, I roughly understand how I’ve lived. The framework and structure are complete, teacher.”
“Good. Then continue to fill in the flesh well. Now that you’ve seen the forest, look at the trees. I’ll wake you up every time you faint, so be careful.”
Jaei completed his harsh and intense torture by interlacing Doha’s ten fingers and squeezing his joints tightly, pressing his pressure points hard with a massage stick, and finally making him walk around the room wearing acupressure slippers. Doha, who had been good at enduring pain since childhood, calmly endured all the pain.
Doha, who had recorded five vomiting episodes and two fainting spells over the past three hours, resumed collecting memory fragments that he had temporarily stopped. Even though the pain felt like his skull was breaking and his brain was being crushed, he endured it to the best of his ability. It was pain he had to endure for Jaei.
Finally, after finishing loading his most recent memories, Doha collapsed on the floor, soaked in sweat. He checked the time, blinking his eyelids with difficulty. It was already 5 AM.
Seo Eunho existed in Doha’s memories. Just as he had said, he was there in the memories from 13 years ago, and he was also there recently when Ryu Doha suddenly disappeared. Doha, who had arranged his memories relatively quickly in order, organized the questions that arose based on his experiences. After sighing, he turned his head to look for Jaei.
“Jaei, Jaei.”
Jaei definitely hadn’t left the room. However, at some point, he had disappeared somewhere and was quietly holding his breath. Doha, looking around every corner of the dressing room, was soon able to discover Jaei, who had curled up small inside an empty built-in cabinet. He pulled out Jaei’s body, which had been hiding like a cat playing hide-and-seek, and embraced him.
Jaei was covering his mouth with both hands and crying. He had cried so much that the blood vessels in his eyes had burst and his lips were swollen. Seeing Jaei’s swollen face, Doha shed tears and cried out sorrowfully.
“Why, why. Why are you crying? You have no reason to cry. I didn’t do anything to make you cry. So why are you crying?”
From the day they first met until now, he had made Jaei cry too much, so he had tried not to make him hurt or sad anymore. But seeing him cry because of someone else made his stomach turn.
Jaei, who wiped his tears by rubbing his cheek against Doha’s shoulder, stammered a response.
“I don’t like that there’s a part of you I don’t know.”
The time of Ryu Doha that Lee Jaei didn’t know. The time after his death in August at age 14 until he returned to him the following winter. And the past three days.
It wasn’t that he truly didn’t trust Doha. It’s just that he had thought he existed in all of Doha’s time since their first meeting, but the fact that this wasn’t true made him feel inadequate. Even though he had all of Doha, he wanted more. Like a greedy person, he wanted both Doha’s life and death.
Doha, who had gulped down water from the bottle, strongly crumpled Jaei’s body into his embrace. As if he had become armor protecting Lee Jaei, he wrapped his arms around him and said:
“I’ll tell you everything. I can tell you as much as you want. But Jaei, it’s a bit strange.”
“Hmm?”
“Because you’ve become a genius all by yourself, and I’m still the only fool… Will you listen to me just once?”
