Because Chalice was such a high-ranked Guide, there were no small number of Espers who, upon receiving his Guiding, would act as though they had lost their senses entirely — or attempt to go beyond any acceptable boundary. He had thought that without any Espers with a high matching rate, there had never been a situation so severe as to be uncontrollable — but Rodeo was the one and only Esper with a high matching rate to Chalice, and in a sense, the most dangerous one of all.
On top of that, he seemed to feel not even a trace of reluctance about using his ability on Chalice. Because the two of them had been on uncomfortable terms, there had never once been cause to worry about this — but thinking back on it now, the danger of this plan was not located only on the outside.
Chalice muttered to himself several times, steadying his resolve. He couldn’t deny that it had also been a long time since he’d done contact-based Guiding, and that — especially given who the Esper in question was — he’d fumbled and stumbled through something that could hardly be called a proper response, in a thoroughly amateur fashion.
He’d already let himself be pushed around by an Esper far younger than him — but in order to prevent this outcome from repeating, he knew he had to keep a clear head, maintain his limits, and come prepared. He replayed the mistakes he had already made, carefully and in order — thinking through Rodeo’s human and individual characteristics, and which aspects of his own tendencies that emerged naturally when dealing with him were in need of correction. His brows were drawn together as though he were tackling some complex and difficult research.
Going forward, there will clearly be many occasions for travel together — so I need to be especially on guard in the confined space of a vehicle, avoid sparsely populated locations as much as possible, and ideally move in groups of three or more to prevent incidents before they happen.
Rodeo uses his ability by vibrating the air, which means his range of application — movement, temperature, sound — is wide, and there is a great deal to defend against. I need to think carefully about close-combat techniques and combat strategies suited to an Esper of this type.
And then, in terms of Rodeo’s individual characteristics—
“……”
Chalice’s face, which had been briskly turning through the pages of his thoughts, stiffened and stopped in an instant. And then, the moment the brief internal pause passed — his entire face flushed red, suddenly and without warning. As if startled by his own reaction, he bit down on his lower lip and squeezed his eyes shut.
…He moves fast.
At a moment Chalice hadn’t anticipated at all, the shirt had been torn in an instant — and even with Chalice himself as the other party, there had been no hesitation at all in taking his pants off. For an Esper in his late twenties who had experienced this manner of Guiding countless times until recently, being this practiced at it was, in truth, perfectly natural.
But Chalice was different. Since he possessed non-contact Guiding, there had simply never been any need to engage in acts like this — and in reality, he had been far more occupied running across battlefields alongside Espers than doing any Guiding at all. Of course, given his career, it wasn’t as though he had no experience. But all of it had been ten years ago — and while he claimed no particular aversion, that didn’t mean he was as immune to this kind of thing as Rodeo clearly was.
On top of that — he has a hold on an emotional weak point. An unstable, capable, little brat of a student…
It would have been disorienting enough if anyone had approached him like that — but that it was Rodeo, of all people. That was why he hadn’t been able to respond properly. Rodeo might not know that — but Chalice himself knew it very well. For Chalice — an elite Guide, and simultaneously someone who had spent the better part of ten years focused on enduring the pain of remote Guiding — the fact that the ‘thirteen-year-old boy’ from some distant memory had grown into this kind of Esper, and had become capable of directing that kind of energy toward him — even for someone who had seen everything and more in this field, it stirred up an unmistakably strange feeling in him.
“What on earth has that little brat been doing with himself all this time.”
He knew better than anyone that despite societal changes, this kind of Guiding wasn’t strange — that it was, in fact, nothing at all. But Chalice, who had just barely passed through a moment of crisis he had never experienced before — protected as he had been by his abilities and the facility’s shelter — found himself belatedly registering one unexpected revelation after another, and it was only then that he noticed his heart was beating at least twice its usual pace. The nape of his neck, where Rodeo’s lips had pressed down, still burned.
Just from being that practiced… to be capable of doing something like this to me…
It was nothing more than a Guide’s work — and yet here he was, face flushing red and fumbling over himself. Chalice, more flustered by his own reaction than anything else, made his way to the bathroom. He walked to the sink without a word, turned on the cold water, and roughly scrubbed his face. His face, which had gone pale in shock when everything had been happening, had turned red of its own accord now that he was alone, as if finally at ease. He thought the cold water had just barely managed to cool the heat in his face — and when he raised his head, Chalice nearly regained his composure, before immediately regretting having stood in front of the mirror with his shirt off.
“Damn it…”
The heat-rash-like marks blooming thickly around his neck were embarrassing — but since it wasn’t as though he had zero experience with these, he could endure that. The problem was his chest. It hadn’t just been the tip of the nipple that had been sucked on — the entire areola had swollen a deep red, and it, along with the thickened nipple, seemed to stand out and upward. Even the faint teeth marks were clearly visible under the bright light. In forty-three years of life, he had never once experienced anything like this.
So stunned that nothing came out but a string of curses, Chalice hesitated as though he shouldn’t touch his own body — then barely managed to bring his thumb to one side of the areola. He gently pressed down on the spot where the teeth marks were left — and thankfully it didn’t hurt, but it still somehow felt wet, leaving him caught in an indescribable feeling and an expression of utter helplessness. He had absolutely no idea what emotion he was supposed to feel about this.
“……”
Then, at some point, the corner of his mouth dropped — right along with the hand that had been examining his body. He looked up sharply and stared at himself in the mirror. The thought struck him all at once that anyone would have looked.
Did he see?
Thankfully, this disastrous state of his chest would have been hidden under the jacket — and the problem was the scattered red marks. The marks were spread across the entirety of his neck, left side and right side without distinction, like splattered paint. Chalice tried to collect himself, remembering that he had retied the loosened tie himself. It felt as though he couldn’t breathe — as though his breath had stopped — and the bathroom fell utterly silent, without so much as the sound of breathing.
Chalice clutched his head, replaying the inside of the elevator over and over in his mind.
Did he see?
Through the gap in the tie, past the torn shirt. Chalice asked himself again and again. Heat rushed back across his face until even his vision seemed to blur. He pressed his hands to his ears against the pounding of his own heartbeat — but even so, the sound of his heart was louder than the droplets of water falling from his face. Chalice let out a low groan.
✽
Early in the morning, Rodeo let his eyes, which had opened on their own, stay open — and got up, changed into his workout clothes, and left the house. The night before, his thoughts had settled to some degree, and the next step was to think about what he needed to do going forward — but his head ached too much for that, and he had come out with the intention of at least moving his body.
“……”
Birds were flying through the sky where the blue of predawn was softening into morning. He had come out on impulse because his thoughts were too heavy — but standing at the window of the exercise facility and looking out at the dawn sky, he was suddenly struck by how pathetic his situation was.
Freedom is right there in my hands…
Freedom. What every Esper dreamed of. To hold not only physical freedom but financial freedom in one’s grasp — that was nothing short of the ideal itself. And yet the life he was currently living — which everyone around him said had all of that — was not the one Rodeo had dreamed of. Because while the opportunity had been given, he had kicked all of it aside and fastened a leash around his own neck.
He could have gone somewhere no one knew his name, traveled under sun and occasional nighttime dew, and he could have at least chosen to go far from the region where the facility was — to live a life where he never had to clash with those insufferable people. And yet here he was. Leaving the housing the facility provided, standing in the exercise facility the facility provided, wearing the shackle of a machine called the Decorker that the facility had provided — standing there blankly.
And that wasn’t all. Not only had he failed to escape from Chalice — that person who was a walking dilemma in and of himself — he had tied his own two hands into a bond he could never escape from. It would have made sense as a step, had he decided to acknowledge the existence of a desire he could neither receive an answer to nor should receive an answer to — but Rodeo was a person who could never go down that road.
“What on earth do I even want to do…”
He always came back to the same question — and he could never arrive at an answer. Instead, he roughly ran his hand through his slightly puffed-up curls, draped a towel over his shoulders, and decided to stop chasing these endless thoughts and start his shoulder workout. Even if silencing his mouth couldn’t quiet his mind, he figured he’d wear himself out doing it — and then wait for the thoughts that exhaustion would erase.
“…Huu…”
And so — his body repeated the same movements, his mouth exhaled steady breaths, and his mind sank deep into thought. The rapidly shifting thoughts began sorting through the clear things, one by one.
It was evident that Chalice perceived Guiding involving close physical contact as something along the lines of an act that comes with discomfort, but is nothing more than work. He had shown some inexperience — but the fact that he hadn’t immediately expressed strong resistance to what had happened yesterday suggested that there had been considerably more experience than Rodeo had assumed.
“Ha…”
Rodeo’s grip on the equipment tightened. But soon a long exhale accompanied his hands dropping away, and they came up to cover his face entirely.
If he had that kind of experience — he would have also known, from it, how to professionally wrap up a Guiding session. And yet he had walked away without so much as a word of parting, as if turning his back. Despite saying it was nothing at all. Despite feeling sympathy for Espers who might develop feelings even over something meaningless. Just like that — as if he were in a bad mood. Just like that.
“Ah.”
Rodeo slowly lowered his hands. From his forehead down to his brows, his eyes — gradually coming uncovered — and then by the time his hands reached his chin and fell away, the thin lips revealed beneath let out a quiet laugh, as if only now understanding.
“He was in a bad mood.”
Something he hadn’t had to do in the distant past, nor in recent years — for nearly ten years — he’d been forced to do it against his will. Rodeo, finally feeling the puzzle pieces fall into place, made a face that wasn’t quite laughing and wasn’t quite angry.
Whether he needed to carve it into his bones — that beneath the mask Chalice always wore, pretending things didn’t affect him, hiding his real expression, sat an Esper-hater — Rodeo was already sinking into what must have been the millionth instance of regret. He couldn’t help but admit that he kept trying to look away from the core of the dilemma — from the very reason why he, too, kept trying so hard to hate Chalice — despite never having forgotten it.
But no matter how hard he tried to look away — no matter how hard he tried to upset the balance of that love and hate — in the end, it was what it was.
Rodeo wiped his forehead with the towel and then flung it to the floor like he was taking it out on something. Treating him like a child, lying over and over about being someone who wouldn’t do this sort of thing — and yet in the end, back to square one. Rodeo himself was the same. He had sworn that helping Chalice, being alongside Chalice, wouldn’t shake his convictions — and yet he had lost count of how many times he had found himself reverting to that young and foolish version of himself.
“Rodeo?”
“Rodeo.”
Just as he let out an irritated sigh and bent to pick up the towel from the floor — voices calling his name reached him from both sides at once.
“…Turner.”
Turner was on one side. On the other — Chalice. Turner looked at the dark-haired man standing across from him — a man clearly twice his own size at a glance — and wore an expression that was, unlike himself, not particularly warm. As Turner bowed his head politely in greeting, Chalice returned a businesslike greeting.
“Hello.”
“Yes, it feels like it’s been a while.”
The two of them were greeting each other and exchanging words while the very person they had called was standing right there. Rodeo gave a small shake of his head, snatched the towel from the floor, and returned to his position at the equipment. Turner he could manage — but Chalice’s face, right now, was one he found deeply uncomfortable to look at.
“I’m sorry, but I have something I need to speak with Rodeo about briefly — would you mind giving us some space?”
