He wanted to help. That heart wasn’t wrong, but there was one big problem with a spoiled child who grew up receiving too much love. It was that he had absolutely no tact.
If there’s no money, you just give money, right? Elementary schooler Cha Ihyun thought that way, and the next day handed one million won in cash to his friend. Let’s go together with this.
His desk partner cried. With a face red from shame and humiliation, he cried out in anguish. After that, the label of being unlucky followed Cha Ihyun around. A kid who looks down on people with money. A kid who shows off because he has money. Everyone whispered whenever Cha Ihyun passed by.
Thanks to that, he learned what ‘tact’ was, but after that, Cha Ihyun came to extremely hate being the subject of gossip. That was also why he hated constantly getting entangled with Cha Dobum.
“Wow shit, in cash? That’s fucking crazy. Isn’t he a really good friend?”
“Right? Why would you refuse that? If it were me, I’d gladly accept and be Cha Ihyun’s doormat.”
“You’re not a doormat, you’re a fence, you idiot.”
The sixth-grade homeroom teacher whose face he didn’t even remember said this. No matter how much you show goodwill, if the other person doesn’t want it, it’s not goodwill. So he carved it into his head. Only give when a friend asks for it.
But looking at it now, that teaching seemed wrong too. He gave it because they asked for it, but to be treated like this.
He wasn’t disappointed. He didn’t think they were friends for life in the first place, and since he had no expectations, there was nothing in particular to be disappointed about.
Rather, he felt a sense of emptiness about himself. Not knowing how to build relationships with others even at nineteen. It was as if there was something defective about him.
‘I should pretend not to know about the watch.’
He didn’t want to cause conflict over something that wasn’t worth much. Since eavesdropping wasn’t a hobby, the moment he was about to move on, another name appeared.
“But honestly speaking, isn’t Cha Dobum’s family the really rich ones, not Cha Ihyun? Cha Ihyun is just mooching off them.”
“Mooching off? Why?”
“Why else? It’s not common to live at a relative’s house since elementary school. His parents abandoned him.”
Cha Ihyun’s gaze sank coldly. He didn’t care if they thought of him as a money source. But the moment the word ‘parents’ changed to ‘mom and dad’ in a derogatory way, his hands moved on their own.
Creak―
When the door opened, the talking stopped abruptly. Their gazes met.
“Oh, I, Ihyun-ah! What, you haven’t gone home yet?”
Looking at the exaggeratedly welcoming voice and the busily shaking pupils, it seemed they were probing to see how much he’d heard. Even while doing that, the sight of them busily trying to hide the watch was pathetic.
They should just say they want it. He would have gladly handed it over. Until now, he thought Cha Dobum was the most pathetic type, but it seemed he needed to correct that.
“You don’t have to give back the watch.”
Even in this situation, seeing the complexion brighten with color made him feel disgusted.
“I can’t use it anyway since it’s dirty because someone else wore it.”
“…What did he just say?”
“But apologize for talking about my parents.”
At the cold voice, Jang Jinsu and Lee Taeyang exchanged glances. Their faces looked absurd. Perhaps thinking they had the upper hand in numbers, Lee Taeyang raised his voice.
“No, I said something that doesn’t exist doesn’t exist, so why should I apologize? The apology should come from you for making personal attacks saying it’s dirty.”
“I’m just saying something dirty is dirty, so what else should I say?”
On the other hand, Cha Ihyun’s voice had no inflection. His expression was just calm.
“At least I’m not insulting your parents. Even though they gave birth to such a dirty son.”
“Look at this bastard―!”
Lee Taeyang balled up the windbreaker he was holding and threw it at his face. Perhaps because it grazed the zipper part, his cheek stung.
“You really are an orphan bastard. Looking at how you go off when parents are mentioned. Fuck, this is why family education is important, you know? Because you have no parents, your personality is like that.”
Cha Ihyun silently stared at him. Lee Taeyang, thinking the threat worked, cursed ostentatiously and pushed past Cha Ihyun’s shoulder. However, his arm was caught by Cha Ihyun.
“Apologize.”
“Ah fuck! Won’t you let go?”
Lee Taeyang pushed Cha Ihyun hard. Due to the difference in physique from the start, the thin body was helplessly shoved. As he fell backward and the desk and chair fell with a crash, Jang Jinsu hurriedly stopped him.
“Hey hey, you crazy bastard! Calm down!”
He’s Cha Dobum’s relative! At that hushed voice, Lee Taeyang flinched.
Cha Ihyun caught his breath. His back and tailbone throbbed, and strength wouldn’t enter his legs. His shitty body was already out of breath just from falling over. Jang Jinsu and Lee Taeyang were chattering about something from above, but he couldn’t hear. He desperately suppressed the hyperventilation symptoms that were gradually coming on.
Hyung always told him wise ways to conduct himself. If he got caught up in a violent situation by chance, he told him not to respond and just stay still. That that was mature and actually the real way to win.
But…
Action was faster than reason. He grabbed the ankle of Lee Taeyang who was trying to leave. And bit down as hard as he could.
Aaaaaaaah―!
Whether it was because of the ringing scream, or because his head was shaking from Lee Taeyang’s struggling, tinnitus rang out. He could feel the pants getting soaking wet between his teeth. He realized that wasn’t saliva when he saw the blood drops flowing down to the ankle.
“You cra, crazy bastard! Let go! Hey, get this bastard off!”
Lee Taeyang kicked wildly, screaming. The more he did, the more Cha Ihyun gritted his teeth harder and clung on. Then he repeated the same words as if cursing.
Apologize.
Apologize.
The sound didn’t even properly take shape, but the focus of the eyes rolled upward was clear. Jang Jinsu, who had been trying to pull Cha Ihyun off, backed away after seeing those crazy eyes. Then he rushed out hurriedly to call a teacher.
***
Cha Ihyun, who locked the music room door, crouched down leaning against the door just like that.
His school uniform shirt was crumpled so much the buttons weren’t visible. His chin was numb with no sensation, and his face and body ached here and there. Even without looking in a mirror, he could tell what state he was in.
Because Jang Jinsu brought the homeroom teacher, he had no choice but to let go of Lee Taeyang. That was more frustrating than being dragged to the faculty office and scolded.
‘From what I hear, you both did wrong. Don’t make a big deal before graduation, just finish it nicely here. Yeah?’
The homeroom teacher urged them both to apologize. It seemed quite flustering that the quiet kids had caused such a big incident.
Cha Ihyun didn’t apologize to the end. There was no reason to apologize. So when he kept his mouth firmly shut, the homeroom teacher subtly took his side. No matter what, insulting parents was too much, and besides, there were two of you, wasn’t there.
In the end, Lee Taeyang offered an apology. He hesitantly returned the watch too, but Cha Ihyun ostentatiously threw the watch in the trash and left the faculty office.
Then he came straight here, to the music room. He didn’t want to go to the classroom to get his bag, nor did he want to go home. In the first place, he couldn’t even go home in this state.
He was frustrated. No matter how much he tried to calm down, the frustration wouldn’t subside. The more he fumed and breathed in, the more his breathing trembled.
And pathetically, he wanted to see Mom and Dad.
His eyes suddenly became hot. Tears pooled and his vision blurred, but Cha Ihyun stubbornly kept his eyes wide open. He didn’t want to cry saying he wanted to see Mom and Dad at this age. He was holding his breath and sniffling when it happened.
Knock, knock-knock, knock, knock.
A knock with a rhythm felt tapped on his back.
“Cha― Ihyun―.”
The voice that came from behind the door was sickeningly familiar. So somehow he felt like he knew what words would follow. Those words he’d heard so much his ears had calluses since elementary school always followed whenever the dismissal bell rang.
“Let’s go hooome―.”
Cha Ihyun wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. Since the door was locked, Cha Dobum couldn’t come in on his own, but that said, he couldn’t stay stuck here forever either.
