“Yeah, I quit dairy products.”
“Because you can’t digest them?”
Does he have lactose intolerance? It was a question asked without much meaning, but Hyun-woong’s face hardened stiffly. When he looked at Hyun-woong, who had suddenly become quiet, puzzled, he looked around and lowered his voice.
“…In case it might be related.”
At Hyun-woong’s reply like a whisper, Jae-min stopped. As soon as he thought of the word ‘milk,’ his gaze immediately went to his chest. Gulp—Jae-min, who unconsciously swallowed, awkwardly scratched his cheek.
“Ah… well, could there be such a connection?”
It was an illness of unknown cause to begin with and there was no cure yet. He hadn’t heard that it was related to dairy products, but he figured Hyun-woong must be trying various things in frustration.
Hyun-woong stared blankly at Jae-min, who was quietly nodding to himself. When Jae-min raised his head as if asking what at the suddenly piercing gaze, Hyun-woong bowed his head deeply.
“Still, thank you.”
“Huh? For what?”
“You could have thought… it was disgusting.”
With his gaze fixed on the floor, Hyun-woong continued hesitantly.
“For treating me the same as before.”
At the heavily delivered words, Jae-min stiffened his body rigidly. Hyun-woong would think that Jae-min finding out his secret was recent, but it wasn’t true.
Jae-min had known Hyun-woong’s secret for a while and not only worked as a massage therapist while hiding his identity, but even engaged in sexual touches unrelated to treatment because he found it fun that he was suffering and embarrassed.
‘I’ve never once thought it was disgusting, but…’
Seeing Hyun-woong sincerely grateful, Jae-min felt guilty conscience for the first time. His chest stung.
“Ah, well.”
Jae-min kicked the floor with his shoe tip for no reason. He also cleared his throat. Since Jae-min had nothing much to say, Hyun-woong slowly raised his head.
Before long, there were many fewer people in the hallway. Jae-min’s gaze, which had been directed at the now-sparse surroundings, stopped at Hyun-woong’s eyes.
White dots were embedded in Hyun-woong’s black pupils that received the sunlight coming through the window head-on. Jae-min stared blankly at his own reflection captured in Hyun-woong’s shining eyes.
‘Was I inside his eyes like this at last year’s festival too?’
The words he had been trying to say the whole time circled in his mouth again. Jae-min, who licked his dry lips once with his tongue, made a firm decision and opened his mouth.
“You, at last year’s Daedongjae when I sang. You said Lee Yun-ji told you.”
“Ah, yeah.”
“That’s not a lie, is it?”
Like a ripple forming on water when a stone is thrown into a calm lake, Hyun-woong’s eyes that had been still wavered at Jae-min’s question.
“You came to see it in person, didn’t you?”
“…How did you know?”
Hyun-woong, who had shown signs of agitation for a moment, asked calmly. Since Hyun-woong lowered his gaze downward, Jae-min stared at his eyelashes. They weren’t long but they were very black.
“I was looking back at videos from last year’s festival and there was someone like you in the audience. One head taller than the people around.”
“…Ah.”
“If you saw it, you should have said you saw it. Why did you hide it? Were you embarrassed?”
At Jae-min’s question asked with a smile, Hyun-woong just quietly stayed still.
Jae-min hadn’t imagined him denying it was him or laughing awkwardly saying “You finally figured it out?”, but he thought there’d at least be some reaction. Hyun-woong froze without moving. Like he’d turned to stone.
“Why aren’t you saying anything?”
“What should I say.”
“Well, your thoughts or something. Was the stage okay back then?”
At Jae-min’s question as he scratched the back of his head, Hyun-woong, who had been looking at the floor the whole time, raised his head.
“It was good.”
At the favorable review that squeezed out from between his heavy lips, this time it was Jae-min who stiffened.
“That’s why I was surprised.”
In the video too, Hyun-woong had stopped like someone who’d received a huge shock. Among the people swaying their bodies to the music, he stood out more because he alone was awkwardly frozen.
“Oh… really? Was it? Well, we are pretty good… Come watch again.”
“This festival?”
“Actually, yesterday I met with the band members and we had another meeting. About what song to do at this festival.”
“You haven’t decided yet?”
“Yeah, there are so many candidates. Everyone has different tastes. We also have several original songs.”
Jae-min was fiddling with his neck and rambling about things no one asked when he sneakily raised his head. The moment he made eye contact with Hyun-woong staring blankly, some words came out impulsively.
“Since you said you enjoyed watching the stage last year. Will you help us choose our performance song?”
Jae-min was quite surprised at the words that came out unconsciously, but he composed his expression pretending nothing was wrong. He had just started the conversation thinking to tease him about coming to watch the festival but pretending he hadn’t, but it seemed something in his head broke from hearing unexpected praise.
What am I saying?
He expected a sharp retort along with rejection, saying to just figure that kind of thing out himself. Regret rushed in as soon as he spoke. Sure enough, Hyun-woong severely furrowed his upright face.
“What? I don’t know much about music.”
“I’ll play a few songs for you. Just see which one seems okay. It’s important for us to choose songs the audience will like too…”
His words grew longer thinking he’d be rejected. At Hyun-woong’s openly displayed look of difficulty, Jae-min wanted to bite his own tongue. Hyun-woong rolled his eyes around. In that moment, Jae-min checked the time with an “Ah.”
“Ah, are you busy right now? Well, you might need to go work out.”
It was the moment Jae-min muttered while looking at the smart watch on his wrist.
“I’m not busy.”
An urgent voice fell as if blocking a farewell greeting. Jae-min flinched and raised his head. Hyun-woong said while fidgeting with the back of his head with his large hand.
“I can go work out next time.”
Were these really words that came from the mouth of workout-addicted Hyun-woong? Did someone else come instead? Jae-min looked around, dumbfounded. He was bewildered about whether this was reality or a dream.
“Where will you play the songs?”
Hyun-woong, who had been speaking while looking at ambiguous empty space, this time looked straight at Jae-min and spoke. Only then did Jae-min, who regained his sense of reality, put strength in his eyes.
“Follow me.”
⁕⁕⁕
The two left the building and headed to the student center. Jae-min led the way, then went to the door at the very corner of the 4th floor and familiarly pressed the password keys. Beep beep, the sound of the lock releasing rang out.
“Come in. This is the place our department’s band club uses.”
“Your band, was it a Business Administration Department club?”
“No, our band isn’t a club, we’re just people with similar tastes who gathered together. Our members sometimes teach new club members instruments here. So we got permission and sometimes use the space and instruments.”
The president of the Business Administration Department band club was friends with Woo-seok, the leader of Fake Lightning that Jae-min belonged to.
Because it was a hobby band and not an official club, they had difficulty because there was no space they could use on campus, but one day Woo-seok made a deal with his friend. In exchange for giving free instrument lessons, they could use the club room when needed.
There was no one inside the Business Administration Department band club room. Jae-min entered without hesitation and turned on the light.
“What? Did they leave?”
The lights didn’t turn on even when he pressed the switch. The sun hadn’t completely set yet so some light came in from outside the window, but it was still dim. Tsk, clicking his tongue, Jae-min trudged inside. He picked up a guitar standing against the wall and plopped down on the floor.
“Sit down.”
When he patted the spot next to him, Hyun-woong hesitantly entered and plopped down next to Jae-min. It seemed he tried to sit with some distance, but once he sat, his shoulder bumped into Jae-min’s. Hyun-woong flinched in surprise and pulled his body to the side.
Jae-min looked over Hyun-woong sitting right next to him with fresh eyes.
“You’re really big. You’re over 190cm, right?”
“187.”
“What? That’s 1cm shorter than me? I thought you were much bigger.”
Jae-min muttered as if talking to himself and put the pick in his mouth. While Jae-min tuned the guitar, Hyun-woong waited quietly. He really looked like a gentle bear sitting there blankly.
“Then I’ll briefly play the cover songs one by one first. First, candidate number 1.”
As the band members listed songs they wanted one by one, it became 10 songs. They could sing at most two or three songs on stage. Fortunately, most of them were songs Jae-min knew.
Looking at the song titles written in his phone’s memo, Jae-min strummed the guitar strings.
Jae-min did sing, but since it was mainly the vocalist Min-jeong who sang, he didn’t need to memorize all the lyrics. Jae-min performed while humming, thinking he’d just play the melody.
