A feeling like my head is burning white. The inside filled with semen was slippery and smooth. As he dug into those sensitive mucous membranes and continued rough insertion again, there was no way to endure. He didn’t even remember what happened today or what kind of things occurred. For this moment, Hui-myeong was completely eroded by pleasure.
“Fuck, really. Huu!”
Hui-myeong slightly opened his eyes to check Do-ha’s expression. His reddened face and fierce eyes foretold that he would reach climax faster than expected.
Do-ha cursed when extremely excited. Though he neurotically pursued perfectionism in everything, was it because Jung Hui-myeong alone didn’t go according to his will? He’d beaten him enough that he couldn’t get up for days, and at times treated him crazily well. But Hui-myeong’s occasionally empty gaze made Do-ha unable to do anything.
Was that why? Do-ha was especially obsessed with sex. Because it was the only means by which he could completely grasp and shake Jung Hui-myeong.
“Aeung, heu! Do-ha-ya. Heut!”
The sex that started in missionary position maintained the same position until the end. Even without great foreplay or positions, Do-ha could send Hui-myeong to climax as much as he wanted.
“Ah! Huk, hauk, ha, I, I came. Euung! I came!”
Hui-myeong urgently hit Do-ha’s forearm as he spoke. Only then did Do-ha, who came to his senses, ejaculate.
After squeezing out even the pooled semen, Do-ha collapsed on top of Hui-myeong’s body and kissed him thickly. Though he hadn’t even properly caught his breath yet, his breathing caught at the violently sweeping tongue work. Hui-myeong squirmed trying to somehow secure a breathing hole, but the more he did, the tighter Do-ha squeezed his body.
“Euung, eum, heu! Heuu, heuu.”
Only after their lips separated did Hui-myeong gasp out rough breaths. Perhaps from reaching climax twice in a short time, his eyes completely unfocused. Just as he shook his head side to side trying hard to hold onto consciousness, Do-ha stroked Hui-myeong’s cheek.
“Myeong-ah.”
It’s starting again. That affectionate voice, even that gaze not knowing what to do unable to control his emotions. When he called his name like that after sex, Hui-myeong was especially confused.
“Euung.”
“I love you.”
He confessed and kissed him briefly.
“I know.”
Hui-myeong answered with a bitter smile. The answer he wanted was probably ‘I love you too,’ but he couldn’t quite say those words. Perhaps he was also tired today, as he didn’t force a confession from Hui-myeong.
Do-ha was rough, coercive, and violent. But one thing, no matter how much he tormented him, he couldn’t deny was that he loved Jung Hui-myeong like crazy.
Even if others would doubt whether that was love, Hui-myeong wanted to believe so. That though Do-ha was a crazy bastard, his love for him was sincere. Believing that made him feel like he’d really become someone who was loved.
Bad bastard. If you were going to do this, don’t get married. Hui-myeong muttered inside. If there’d been no news of his marriage, Hui-myeong would have tried to give up on running away. Things had been better than ever before that, so he’d even imagined staying by Do-ha’s side forever like this.
From the beginning, Jung Hui-myeong was Do-ha’s possession before being his lover. Though a dog couldn’t serve two masters, a master could raise two dogs. Even knowing that fact, he didn’t know why he had such ambivalent feelings.
“The blanket’s all wet.”
Hui-myeong said in a sunken voice. Though they’d only done it briefly twice, the physical exhaustion was as if they’d had sex all night.
Because they’d jumped on the bed without drying their wet bodies or hair, water marks stained the blanket. Though they were two men with short hair, since neither was short in height, the wet area was wide.
“Get under the sheets. I’ll change it.”
At Hui-myeong’s complaint, Do-ha got up, removed the blanket and put it in the laundry room, then brought a new blanket. The crisp and suffocatingly thick white blanket was one Hui-myeong especially liked. Rather than being particularly sensitive to cold, he liked the pressure the blanket gave. And Do-ha loved Hui-myeong who felt happiness from such simple things.
“It smells like a new blanket.”
When Hui-myeong buried his nose in the blanket and smiled, Do-ha also raised the corners of his lips. He seemed to have already forgotten about Hui-myeong’s cigarette outing.
“When you smile, you’re disgustingly pretty.”
Do-ha muttered and entered under the blanket, pulling Hui-myeong into his arms. Hui-myeong went “euuum” and naturally settled into his embrace. As if he hadn’t acted cold, Do-ha pushed back his wet hair. Hui-myeong also thoroughly enjoyed this moment. It was one of the few times he could taste the feeling of being loved.
“Your trainer will change starting tomorrow.”
The moment he thought was perfect cooled as if cold water had been poured on it at Do-ha’s single remark.
“…Yeah.”
Hui-myeong answered awkwardly while held tightly in his arms.
It wasn’t a big deal. Changing his gym trainer every 3 months was Do-ha’s own rule. So he just thought it was already that time. This kind of trivial control happened because Do-ha ‘loved’ Hui-myeong so much. Hui-myeong believed that.
“Sleep quickly. Tomorrow’s your lower body day.”
Drowsiness seeped into Do-ha’s voice as he patted and chattered. He had reason to be tired. Company work was hectic, plus the wedding celebration party, and interfering in Jung Hui-myeong’s schedule one by one meant his body wouldn’t be able to take it.
The obsession that was only scary at first had now become somewhat comfortable, but Do-ha who completely tamed him and was leaving to build a life with another woman was cruel.
“Good night, Do-ha-ya.”
Hui-myeong briefly kissed Do-ha and closed his eyes. Soon an even breathing sound came from beside him. He was a sensitive person, so it must have been quite an arduous day.
Even after tossing and turning for a while, sleep didn’t come. Was it because too many things happened today? Because his emotions went up and down like a rollercoaster in just a few hours, he seemed even more tired.
It was because of hyung.
Tracing back through the day, the most shocking thing was the reunion with Geum-gang. He thought it strange that he’d thought of him particularly much today, but he never expected to encounter him like that.
If Do-ha finds out I met Kang-i hyung, he’ll really lock me up.
Hui-myeong smiled bitterly. To Do-ha, Geum-gang was a mortal enemy. He believed Geum-gang had stolen Jung Hui-myeong, ‘his thing.’ Hui-myeong, who hadn’t belonged to anyone to begin with.
He probably still thinks that way.
“Euuum, Myeong-ah…”
Not knowing he was thinking of another man, Do-ha called his name in his sleep and pulled Hui-myeong’s body, which had moved away, back again.
“Stop calling me like that…”
Hui-myeong whispered in a voice barely audible and looked at Do-ha. If only you were just fierce, or just crazily affectionate—if you’d just do one of the two, I wouldn’t be confused, but he was always self-centered. Just as he had been from the moment they first met until now.
Before long, Hui-myeong alone returned to the past 10 years ago.
***
The boys’ high school was a living jungle where the food chain was alive. The apex predator there was Do-ha, and the prey he most salivated over was the weakest, Jung Hui-myeong.
Hui-myeong disliked him who wanted to approach out of curiosity, with a strange friendship. Those eyes demanding something beyond friendship gave him chills, and the obsession seeping within them was ominous.
If you were to find the epitome of the saying “if I can’t have it, I’ll destroy it,” it was nineteen-year-old Do-ha. He was young and rough back then.
When Hui-myeong avoided and rejected him, Do-ha began tormenting him by mobilizing his friends.
At the time, his mother who worked at a bar called “Suseolhwa” was Hui-myeong’s weakness. He got beaten a lot both inside and outside school, and they didn’t hesitate to commit acts touching on humiliation to make Hui-myeong submit. During that time when cruel bullying hard to believe as high school students’ doing was repeated, Geum-gang appeared before Hui-myeong like a savior.
‘Need help?’
‘Excuse me?’
‘I said do you need help. Don’t make me say it twice.’
In Hui-myeong’s mind, the Geum-gang of that time came to mind.
If Do-ha was the school’s actual predator, Geum-gang was the reclusive ruler. When he appeared, the school became quiet, and even the cocky guys disappeared. Though he actually had no interest in school affairs, his mere existence was a threat to the young boys.
Because he caused so much trouble, he was three years older than them, but he stubbornly attended school. Apparently “those above” had told him he had to graduate at least high school.
‘Hyung, can’t you come to school every day?’
‘Why would I?’
When Hui-myeong begged him to attend frequently, Geum-gang would usually ask back indifferently. Though he spoke that way, Geum-gang appeared from somewhere whenever Hui-myeong was in trouble. Just his shadow was enough for Do-ha’s lackeys to back away, and at those times, Do-ha would leave as if resentful.
