“It’s not just this recording. I know what you did with the cash you withdrew every day. Just look at one month’s worth of CCTV footage and it’ll show where you went every dawn. You know that paying for that is punishable, right?”
The man’s body trembled with rage. It seemed he couldn’t stand being humiliated after insulting others to his heart’s content.
“You said you work at a securities company, right? You, who think you can buy people with money, know better than anyone. How thorough people with money are about that money. If all this is revealed, do you think those people will want to entrust their assets to someone like you?”
I had more talent for blackmail than I thought.
“Call your lawyer. Right now.”
The frightened man, as if what I said had already become reality, hurriedly pressed buttons on his phone. The man left only the words that he would withdraw the charges and hung up.
“Now that… that recording needs to be deleted too. Hurry up and call that bastard to delete it in front of me.”
The man was foolish. If I’d known it would be like this, I wouldn’t have worried needlessly. In case the man caught me recording and snatched the recording file, I chose the method of calling Jung Hyun-wook instead of recording. Even though I knew he would be hurt.
“I can’t delete it. Instead, I promise there will never be any situation where it becomes a problem. You said it yourself. Secret promises remain. This is our secret promise.”
Leaving behind the man whose face turned ridiculous as his own nonsense was returned to him, I exited the hospital room. If anything, the gain was discovering that I could pour out words so smoothly.
Jung Hyun-wook was helplessly leaning against the corridor wall. His face looked miserable, as if he could neither come in nor go back. He took the lead and said,
“Follow me.”
I chased after Jung Hyun-wook, who walked ahead curtly. He walked down the corridor, opened the emergency exit door, and entered. The emergency exit sensor light turned on. He stopped halfway down the stairs.
“I said it was my business. I said I would resolve it!”
The emergency exit echoed loudly. I couldn’t say anything.
“Did you distrust me that much? Why. Because of money? Because I’m the kind of bastard who wouldn’t have a penny even if you shook me down, just like that bastard said?”
“That’s not it! Money wasn’t his goal anyway. He’s someone who doesn’t need money. It had to be me anyway.”
“What… do you mean?”
He asked me back as if denying the thought he’d come up with.
“You know. That he didn’t call me to receive an apology.”
“You… even knowing that… how could you.”
I didn’t deny it. My goal today was clear, and I could endure anything to achieve it.
“So you led him to say those things? You stayed still when he touched you? On purpose? How did you look at that bastard? How did you stare at him?”
He shouted at me as if pouring out words.
“Is this what you meant when you said you’re not someone I need to protect?”
When he asked that, both my shoulders were grabbed and I was pushed against the wall. The shoulders he held were hot as if burned. Jung Hyun-wook’s eyes twisted painfully as if he himself was wounded by the words that clawed at me.
The sensor light turned off. That agonized face disappeared into darkness. He spoke. His voice was torn to pieces.
“If it’s for necessity, you can sell anything?”
I couldn’t see anything, but only his breath pouring out right in front of my nose was vivid. His breathing became rough as if he couldn’t control himself. For a moment, Jung Hyun-wook in front of me felt unfamiliar.
“I regretted causing that incident that day. If only I hadn’t lost my reason and gone wild, things wouldn’t have gotten so big. You wouldn’t have had to worry like this. You wouldn’t have gotten hurt either…. I’ll surely regret shouting at you like this today too. But… even knowing I’ll regret it, I can’t hold back.”
He recited painfully as if making a confession.
“I don’t know why.”
He stepped back and roughly rubbed his face.
“Hyun-wook…”
At that moment, my call was buried by a sharp ringtone that broke the silence. His expression hardened as he checked the caller ID.
“Hello.”
He turned his back to me and moved toward the end of the emergency stairs. I had a strange premonition somehow. What was heard through the receiver was faint but definitely a woman’s voice. I stared blankly at his back for a moment.
“Don’t worry. I’ll be right there. Don’t cry!”
I didn’t care when he said harsh words to me. Rather, when I saw those indifferent eyes boil like wildfire because of me, one side of my chest swelled up on its own.
But I thought I would be okay even when the day came when that expectation was broken. Because I thought my feelings sprouting toward him were mine alone. Because I thought they were emotions that would never be shown and should never be shown. Because I never had expectations in the first place.
So I thought I would be okay…. But looking at his back, my chest kept throbbing. Heat rushed to the corners of my eyes. His face when he turned around after hanging up the phone was flushed.
“Something urgent came up, so I think I need to go.”
Having spoken briefly, he hurriedly ran down the stairs as if a long explanation wasn’t necessary. I was suddenly left alone. I looked at the empty space where Jung Hyun-wook had disappeared. The words I couldn’t form choked me like held breath.
I slowly exhaled. Then inhaled again. I endured by breathing my breath into this empty space that my voice couldn’t fill. Because if I didn’t do at least that, I felt like I would die trapped in the silence.
3.
Jung Hyun-wook hasn’t come to school for two days now. There’s been no contact from him since he disappeared like that that day.
“Hey, does anyone know what’s up with Hyun-wook?”
“We only see his face at school. Does he personally contact any of us?”
“Come to think of it, Jung Hyun-wook has a lot of secrets too. Always busy.”
“I think Hyun-wook’s family situation is a bit like that. I heard he earns his tuition and living expenses himself.”
“He’s really got amazing survival skills. I don’t know how many part-time jobs he does. But anyway, he was obsessed with grades, so what about the presentation assignment due next week?”
Here it was noisy with talk about Jung Hyun-wook whether he was here or not. A sigh escaped without me knowing. Last time, we put his and my names side by side on the paper listing group members. Everyone took it as an unexpected event. Some asked him outright what was going on, but Jung Hyun-wook just laughed it off.
“Mo Hyo-kyung. Do you happen to be in contact with Hyun-wook?”
A guy from Jung Hyun-wook’s group who was always smooth-talking and in charge of jokes spoke to me. Though he had never once acknowledged me before, our eyes met occasionally after it became known that Jung Hyun-wook and I would do a team presentation together. It wasn’t by chance.
“No.”
I answered briefly.
“Wow…! This is the first time I’ve heard his voice.”
Then he settled right in front of me and sat down.
“Are you close with Hyun-wook?”
What should I answer? After hesitating for a moment, I chose a safe answer.
“No.”
He laughed.
“Ah, sorry. My question was a bit funny, right? I’m Sung Woo-jae.”
I just blinked while looking at him introducing himself sociably. He burst out laughing loudly.
“I’m seriously still so curious about how you two, who don’t talk, decided to be in the same group. Who suggested it first? Was it Hyun-wook? Well, Hyun-wook seemed to like you. When you didn’t come to the student assembly, the kids talked behind your back a bit, and Hyun-wook took your side. The atmosphere suddenly got cold.”
Sung Woo-jae giggled as if it was funny, recalling that day. So he was talking about gossiping behind my back in front of the person involved?
“I was amazed that Hyun-wook even knew you. He didn’t even acknowledge you when we talked about you like that.”
Looking closely, he was the same type as Jun-il. If left alone, he could probably talk by himself for hours. When I gave him a look to get to the point, he awkwardly closed his mouth.
“I came because I have something to say, but I only talked about other things again. Actually, I know where Hyun-wook works. If you have time, want to go visit? I know he’s not the kind of kid who goes around doing nonsense, but I’m kind of worried, you know? He seems like it, but he’s an incredibly diligent guy, yet he’s missed school for two days.”
That was right. Jung Hyun-wook, despite working dawn shifts, had never once been late for morning classes. He always sat in the front row of the lecture hall, diligently writing something and listening attentively to the class.
“You’d be in trouble too if you can’t keep contacting Hyun-wook because of the presentation.”
Thinking I was hesitating since I said nothing, he tried hard to persuade me.
“It would be better if I went, but I have plans with my girlfriend after class today. It’s really an appointment I can’t break. It’s our 50-day anniversary…”
This was the third 50-day anniversary I’d unwittingly learned about. Sung Woo-jae didn’t seem to make it past 100 days. Or maybe he deliberately didn’t. Having finished speaking, Sung Woo-jae smiled with his eyes like a final killer move. Women probably fell for that eye smile. I curtly pushed my notebook toward him.
