# Chapter 100
“Um, you, haven’t slept?”
The startled Jiwon asked in a somewhat awkward posture.
Suhyun answered as he strode toward Jiwon.
“I couldn’t fall asleep.”
“Ah…”
What should he say in response?
Jiwon hurriedly tried to find an appropriate answer. But he wasn’t given much time.
“…Excuse me.”
“Oh!”
It was because Suhyun, who had stopped in front of the bed, suddenly picked him up. Jiwon squirmed at the unexpected development, but Suhyun didn’t waver at all.
Suhyun carried Jiwon back to his room.
“What is this…”
Jiwon muttered with a dumbfounded face. He couldn’t understand why Suhyun was suddenly acting like this.
“I think I can sleep if Guide-nim is beside me.”
“…Pardon?”
Suhyun added to a still confused Jiwon, but it still sounded nonsensical.
Suhyun looked down at Jiwon and explained kindly.
“If an Esper can’t sleep, it will cause problems in battle. So Guide-nim needs to be by my side.”
“Uh…”
“It can’t be helped.”
It can’t be helped.
Jiwon slightly furrowed his brow at Suhyun’s added words. The way he emphasized it pierced a part of Jiwon’s heart.
“…”
Even if he couldn’t sleep, nothing would go wrong with Suhyun. Besides, they didn’t know yet whether a Riska dungeon would appear tomorrow or not.
Above all, there was no obligation for a Guide to be by an Esper’s side just because they couldn’t sleep.
So, Suhyun’s words were a stretch.
A stretch to comfort Jiwon, saying it was a situation that couldn’t be helped.
“Haah…”
He had given Jiwon, who had been keeping his door firmly closed without facing him because he felt he shouldn’t like Suhyun now, an excuse that he had no choice but to come out.
“Really, what should I do…”
Jiwon, who understood his intention, muttered as he wrapped his arms around Suhyun’s neck.
In a way, Suhyun was sweet for understanding his troubled feelings completely, and in another way, he was reliable. Jiwon’s anxious feelings melted away like snow.
“…I suppose I should.”
Jiwon whispered as he buried his face in Suhyun’s shoulder.
***
His legs were starting to go numb from not being able to toss and turn for a while. Jiwon swallowed a light sigh with his eyes tightly closed.
‘…What am I doing?’
He really didn’t know that being asked to stay by his side meant lying down together in one bed. He didn’t expect this day to come so quickly.
‘Moving pretty fast…’
Jiwon’s eyebrows twitched at the idle thought. It wasn’t that he disliked it, but the fact that Suhyun had laid him down so naturally, like a snake slipping over a wall, bothered him a little.
‘Wasn’t he the innocent type?’
He thought both he and Suhyun were far from dating, so he expected they would be awkward for a while.
But thinking about it now, it seems like he’s the only one who doesn’t know what to do. When he comes to his senses, he feels like he’s being swept away by Suhyun.
Like earlier in the parking lot…
“…”
Of course, it’s not like Suhyun looks particularly skillful. The problem is that despite this, he gets swept away too easily.
Jiwon wanted to lead Suhyun if possible. Maybe he wanted to show off because he was older than Suhyun.
But looking at the current situation, even a passing dog would laugh. He was being comforted while tightly embraced in Suhyun’s arms, so much for leading.
‘And why is his embrace so big.’
It just makes you want to lean in comfortably.
Well, either way, it doesn’t matter.
Honestly, being held in such a warm embrace wasn’t so bad. Besides, since his own frame was smaller, it made sense for him to be the one being held…
“Are you not sleeping?”
Jiwon, who had been seriously thinking these needless thoughts, chuckled at the sound of Suhyun’s voice from above his head.
“How can I sleep?”
It was nice, but it was definitely not a comfortable situation for sleeping. Suhyun probably felt the same way. Judging by his clear voice that had no trace of sleepiness.
“That’s true.”
At Suhyun’s simple acknowledgment, Jiwon lifted his head. As if they had been waiting, their gazes met.
Seeing Suhyun’s face up close made him feel a bit embarrassed, but Jiwon didn’t avoid his gaze.
“…Thank you.”
The words he should have said earlier finally flowed out.
“I need you, that’s all.”
Even though it was a thank you without any context, Suhyun immediately understood the meaning and shook his head.
Jiwon chuckled lightly and narrowed his eyes.
“I don’t seem to be helping at all? Should I go back?”
“…”
Suhyun didn’t answer the question. A low laugh flowed from between Jiwon’s teeth.
“I’m laughing again.”
However, the faint smile quickly faded. Jiwon muttered as if sighing.
“Director Jo Wooyeon never told you not to laugh.”
At the same time, Suhyun firmly shook his head. Jiwon chuckled and nodded before tensing his lips.
“…Actually, I.”
When he opened his mouth again, it was after some time had passed.
“I was a bit disappointed in myself.”
Suhyun’s straight gaze seemed to encourage him that he could say anything, and inner thoughts that he hadn’t particularly intended to share flowed out unintentionally.
“Director Jo Wooyeon is a very important person to me.”
He had never said these words to anyone, not even to Jo Wooyeon himself.
“I became a Guide at sixteen. Already at an age that didn’t understand the ways of the world, and without parents.”
“…”
“I must have looked very precarious in the Director’s eyes. You don’t know how hard he took care of me.”
Jo Wooyeon was like a father, like an uncle, and also like an older brother. It was only after meeting Jo Wooyeon that he truly thought he didn’t need parents who had abandoned him.
“But I forgot. The most painful memory of such a person.”
“…”
“I should have remembered as soon as I saw that gem. I was right beside him, how much did the Director cry while holding that gem, how could I forget that…”
He had been busy taking care of his own feelings.
Above all, that’s what was pathetic. After all Jo Wooyeon had done for him, he couldn’t even return a fraction of it.
“Is it okay for a person to be this ungrateful? Am I…”
Is it okay to be like this?
Is it okay to keep being held in these arms?
The arrows of blame, which had seemed to disappear momentarily thanks to Suhyun, began to aim at Jiwon again, sharpening their tips.
“Yes, it is.”
But Suhyun’s firm answer was faster than the arrows flying in.
“Because he didn’t take care of you so that you couldn’t be happy, Guide-nim.”
“…”
Jiwon frowned and lowered his head. Instead of lifting his face that had hidden itself, Suhyun gently stroked his hair.
“Guide-nim, do you want others to suffer when you’re suffering?”
The gentle touch tickled. The softly resonating voice made Suhyun’s body vibrate. Jiwon burrowed a little deeper into Suhyun’s embrace.
“The Director said what he wanted. Work responsibly. That’s all. Guide-nim, you just need to do that diligently.”
“…”
“That’s also the best way to heal the Director’s wounds.”
Jiwon took a deep breath.
He knows. Jo Wooyeon isn’t the type of person who would want him to be digging himself into the ground like this. Suhyun was right.
Even though he knew, he had turned away from it for fear it might be an excuse for himself. In reality, he had known everything all along. He just needed someone to say these words for him.
The gentle stroking, the kind tone, the warm embrace, though definitely unfamiliar, made his heart at ease.
Eventually, a light laugh escaped from between his teeth.
“Why are you so good at comforting?”
The face that had been buried for a while appeared again. Suhyun, facing him, replied with a somewhat perplexed tone.
“I’m not comforting you, I’m stating facts.”
“It’s not comfort?”
“…”
Suhyun closed his eyes slowly and then opened them. His long eyelashes fluttered, creating an illusion as if the wind was blowing.
“You’re saying it wasn’t comfort…?”
While Suhyun briefly closed his mouth, perhaps choosing his words, Jiwon asked exactly the same question as before. It was a silly joke to lighten the serious atmosphere.
“I thought… it was comfort.”
“Ha…”
At the voice mixed with laughter, Suhyun gave a chuckle. The breath touching from close by made his face feel ticklish.
“Don’t act too much like an adult.”
Jiwon looked at Suhyun with a gentle smile.
“I want to be the adult here.”
It seemed wrong from the moment he spoke, but it didn’t really matter.
If it was comfort, it was enough now. As Jo Wooyeon wanted, Jiwon would find the cause of all this.
But that didn’t mean he could cast aside the lover whose feelings he had just discovered today. Wasn’t he holding him to prevent that?
All Jiwon needed to do now was focus sufficiently on Suhyun.
“…What kind of adult do you mean?”
Suhyun asked Jiwon, who was meeting his gaze directly. A very small spark was thrown between the two.
“I wonder.”
Jiwon swallowed dryly and responded from the center where the small spark was spreading instantly.
“In… many different ways.”
