A brilliant white light poured down, making my eyelids tingle. I looked around with a calm expression. Perhaps it was because I’d been here once before. The sense of alienation I felt when I first came here after fainting was definitely less pronounced.
‘I fell asleep normally tonight though.’
Yet I still ended up coming here. I’m not sure if I came on my own or if the owner of this space summoned me, but anyway.
―Hello.
The moment I heard its voice, I felt confirmed that the owner of the voice I heard when I just entered the north was indeed him.
―You’ve become a bit more appetizing since then.
“Hm?”
What does it mean, I’ve become more appetizing?
―Your soul, I mean.
The voice that became clear in an instant rang out right before my nose. A face with blurry outlines and golden eyes filled my vision.
“Originally it was closer to a dying fragment, but now it’s a bit more…”
He smacked his lips and added.
“Like a living soul.”
Suddenly I recalled that tonight, I had completed the enthronement ceremony, however modest, and raised my ‘Recovery’ level. That was the only thing different from last time, so if we’re talking about causes, it would have to be that.
Conscious of the excessively close distance, I stepped back slightly and asked.
“You, what’s your name?”
“Hmm?”
“What should I call you?”
Since this guy was after my soul, we would inevitably meet often from now on. I couldn’t keep calling him with half-hearted titles like ‘this guy,’ ‘that thing,’ or ‘this bastard’ every time.
Moreover…
‘If I at least know a name, it might come to me.’
I was also curious whether this guy was an existence that appeared in the original work, <Pavane for a Dead Princess>.
“Let’s see.”
He looked at me with his head tilted. His golden eyes, staring without blinking, were still brilliantly and elegantly radiant, as if not of this world.
“I don’t have one.”
“…Huh?”
“It’s a value that hasn’t been set.”
His gaze seemed to see through me and what was inside me.
“Even if there was one, you wouldn’t be able to know it.”
Those words sounded exactly like his existence hadn’t been recorded in the original work.
Well. That made sense. The novel my younger sister wrote was a story only for humans. Within that story, only people and the transcendent power dwelling in those people existed.
And he, who was clearly not human no matter how you looked at him, was not an existence my younger sister could easily imagine.
“Will you give me one?”
He approached me closely. When I reflexively stepped back, he approached again. One step, two steps, and three steps.
“Call me by a word only you know.”
“…”
“Give me a name with your heart in it. Okay?”
Thud. Something cool touched my back. A wall so white it was almost transparent stood there as if blocking my body.
“Give me a name, and want to see me more. The more you do, the closer my existence becomes to you, and the more I can help you.”
I quietly gathered up those softly whispered words.
“You’ll help me.”
“I did before, didn’t I?”
Come to think of it, that was true. When I came to my senses after meeting him for the first time, the ‘Chaos Meter’ that had dropped so low I fainted had risen considerably.
I also recalled the memory of him helping me, saying it would be troublesome if I died now, and kissing me. If the power he transferred to me from mouth to mouth contributed to raising the ‘Chaos Meter.’
“That’s right.”
His golden eyes sparkled.
“I did it. How about it? Did I do well? Aren’t I good?”
“…”
“So give me a name. Quickly.”
“A name…”
He’s making this request because he doesn’t know what giving a name means.
When I turned my head slightly, I saw familiar shadows flickering on the frozen white wall. My past, similar to what I’d seen before, resembling a panoramic view of one’s life.
Mysteriously, it didn’t just stop at being visible. Sounds could be faintly heard. The sound of someone moving busily, the sound of a newborn crying, and…
―Say hello. This is your younger sibling.
A child about ten years old, in a very familiar form, was stuck to the glass wall with both hands pressed against it.
―What should we call that child?
―What would you like to call them?
―…
―You give them a name.
My parents with smiling faces were speaking to me.
―Put your heart into it.
―Put my heart into it…
―Yes. Because they’ll be with you for life.
My younger self didn’t yet understand the weight contained in those words. The fact that after those two left, only we would remain, and therefore that tiny blood clot would become my world—I didn’t fully grasp that either.
But the moment I saw the child’s dark eyes, I felt a wish I didn’t understand take root inside me. An affection containing longing that I was feeling for the first time bloomed inside me.
―…Yeong-won.
That’s how I put my heart into a name.
―I hope it will be eternal (yeong-won).
It became a wish that could never be fulfilled, but still.
“Names are heavy things.”
I said, pulling myself together as I squeezed my eyes shut and opened them.
“Don’t ask me to give you one carelessly.”
“It’s not careless.”
He retorted sulkily. He seemed disappointed at being rejected.
“You’re special. Your soul is the first of its kind. So…”
“So, I’m saying I don’t like that.”
I coldly cut off its words.
“I don’t like being special.”
Being special means becoming precious. It means you can’t be carelessly replaced with something else.
It might seem like a privilege and blessing made only of sweet things, but that’s not actually true. Being special doesn’t mean you can be eternal.
So in the end.
“Being special ultimately means it will hurt that much more.”
He tilted his head. He seemed puzzled, not fully understanding the emotion contained in my words. It didn’t matter. I hadn’t brought it up expecting understanding anyway.
“Anyway, well. I’ll think about it.”
“Really? Really?”
“Don’t get your hopes up. And, um…”
After pondering for a moment, I asked quietly.
“Can you help me like last time? That…”
“You want me to transfer power?”
Its cool fingertips gently tickled my cheek.
“I was helpful then. You hope I’ll be helpful this time too. To make your soul more delicious.”
“…If you put it that way, yes.”
Though there was some room for misunderstanding in the expression, anyway what I wanted to ask got conveyed.
“I have quite a lot to do from now on.”
According to what I confirmed through the system window before falling asleep, there was time to spare until the next event that needed to happen. Because the second event that could fill Recovery was ‘Lenox’s Manifestation of Healing Power.’
‘According to the original work, it was when Lenox was about fifteen years old.’
That kid isn’t even ten years old yet, so at least 5 years remain. Until then, I planned to make this land I’d come to rule into a more livable place.
‘I don’t have anything else to do during that time anyway.’
Since they said time flows differently between reality and here, there was no reason to be impatient. I was even grateful I could wait until that young child grew up a bit.
The problem was that if I performed the role of a proper grand duke, the ‘Chaos Meter’ would inevitably be reduced. You can’t call a scoundrel who throws teacups and causes a ruckus a good lord, so naturally.
“It would be even better if you could pour more generously than last time.”
“Then traces will remain.”
“Traces?”
Come to think of it, he said that differently before.
‘No traces will remain.’
“If those traces remain, is it bad for me?”
“Who knows?”
He came close and pressed his forehead against mine as he spoke.
“If you want to give your soul to someone other than me, that would be bad… Do you want to do that?”
“…No?”
Give what? I only accepted giving it to this guy in the sense of ‘do as you please’ since it would be after I died anyway.
“Then it doesn’t matter.”
“…”
“Rather, it’s good. Because I’ll be able to help you more.”
A softly whispering voice settled on my lips like falling petals.
“I’ll set you free.”
“…”
“So will you close your eyes?”
Thinking it was quite a seductive thing to say, I obediently closed my eyes.
