# Chapter 97
If the sound of rolling eyeballs could be heard, what would it be like right now?
Roll, roll.
Constantly ringing in their ears, it would have made their minds considerably scattered.
And that’s not all.
He would have been too embarrassed to raise his head, while Suhyun would have grown tired of staring at the innocent floor and jumped up from his seat.
“…”
Confirming each other’s feelings was great. His heart had swelled up, beating so fast he wondered if it might stop, and his toes tingled with an indescribable feeling.
The problem was that after confirming they liked each other, he had no idea what to do or say next.
‘I’d have to have liked someone before to know.’
All his previous relationships were useless. Thinking about them only made him feel guilty toward those people.
Jiwon had no idea what conversations to have or what actions to take with someone whose feelings were mutual.
‘He doesn’t seem to know either…’
Judging from appearances, the same was true for Suhyun.
‘I should say something to break the atmosphere…’
He wanted to somehow fix this relationship that had become even more awkward than usual, but he had no idea what to say.
So his lips remained tightly closed while only his eyeballs continued to roll around.
“Umm…”
His gaze, which had been wandering everywhere, was drawn toward Suhyun as if pulled by a magnet. Unless he forcibly looked away, he found himself staring intensely at him.
How burdensome must his gaze be right now?
No matter how hard he tried to control himself, it was in vain. At this rate, he was going to engrave every inch of Suhyun from head to toe into his eyes.
‘This is driving me crazy.’
He would believe it if someone told him something terrible would happen if he took his eyes off Suhyun.
‘But seriously, is there really nothing to say in this situation?’
Moistening his parched lips while reprimanding himself to stop staring, Jiwon sighed at his own pathetic inability to utter a single word.
He couldn’t even remember what they normally talked about. They had only confirmed their feelings, yet everything felt turned upside down, making him fumble awkwardly.
‘I want to appear relaxed and mature, befitting my older age…’
Relaxed, my ass.
He was just continuing to show how fidgety he was.
Well, how many people could remain composed in this situation anyway?
“Haa…”
Still, not being able to control even his gaze was a bit too much.
In truth, Jiwon had a desire to appear mature to Suhyun in every aspect.
Not just at work, but in their relationship too.
But thinking about it, Suhyun always seemed to act more maturely.
When Jiwon had been consumed by the fact that he couldn’t help with Riska’s mental control, wasn’t it Suhyun who made him see things from a different perspective, saying it was actually a good thing?
‘If I barged into the bathroom to get his confession, I shouldn’t be creating this awkward atmosphere now.’
He was so pathetic. Jiwon decided to admit that he had long failed at appearing relaxed.
If he kept trying to do something impossible, things might become even more awkward than they already were.
“This is difficult…”
Jiwon said with a slight drop of his eyebrows and a hint of laughter in his voice.
There was no point in overthinking what to say. It seemed better to say anything to break the heavy silence.
“What do you mean?”
It wasn’t a bad choice.
Just like him, Suhyun seemed uncomfortable with the situation, but his gaze, which had been fixed on the floor, finally rose.
“I don’t know what to say.”
As soon as their eyes met, a deeper smile formed on Jiwon’s lips.
He should have said something sooner. Just making eye contact felt this good.
“I keep thinking of things that I shouldn’t say.”
Shaking his head as if even he found himself frustrating, Jiwon sighed.
Suhyun raised an eyebrow slightly, then slowly moved his reddened lips.
“What were you thinking of saying?”
His tone was stiffer than usual. His rigidly straight posture clearly revealed his tension.
Indeed, waiting for Suhyun to speak first had been the wrong approach; it was better for him to say whatever came to mind.
“Should I tell you?”
Seeing Suhyun tense, Jiwon’s own tension eased somewhat, strangely enough.
‘He’s actually nervous.’
Even before entering dungeons, Suhyun had never shown signs of nervousness. But now, in front of him, he was incredibly stiff.
Finding it unbearably cute, Jiwon couldn’t help but let a small smile escape.
“Actually, I keep wanting to whine.”
That’s why he could say something far from the mature image he initially wanted to project.
“Look at me, I’d say. Why do you keep staring at the floor?”
In fact, he had been troubled by that thought the whole time. Now that he’d said it out loud, he felt much better.
Jiwon tilted his head with a grin. Suhyun flinched in response to Jiwon’s approaching face.
‘He’s being shy, isn’t he?’
As Jiwon came closer, Suhyun’s eyes darted around as if he didn’t know where to look.
Jiwon had to desperately hold back his laughter at that unbearably cute expression.
“…I’m sorry.”
In the meantime, Suhyun apologized in a quiet voice.
“Haha…”
What was he apologizing for?
Jiwon burst into the laughter he had been holding back.
“I wasn’t asking for an apology, you know.”
Despite his slightly sulky tone, the corners of his mouth remained widely upturned.
“It’s just a request.”
To look at him because he wanted to see him.
‘…Wanting to see someone who’s right beside me.’
The thought that suddenly came to mind was strange. How could you miss someone who’s right next to you?
Even now, as they were making eye contact, Jiwon still wanted to see more of Suhyun. He felt like he couldn’t even afford the time it took to blink.
“Ah, I must be really crazy…”
This was practically an illness. He was definitely going insane.
“I’m being really weird, right? I think I’m weird too. Is it normal to want to keep looking at someone you like? Still, this seems excessive…”
Worried that he might appear strange to Suhyun, Jiwon made excuses earnestly. In reality, it was a confession of feelings disguised as an excuse.
“…”
Suhyun, who had been quietly listening to Jiwon, finally dropped his gaze again. It seemed difficult for him to maintain eye contact.
“…How strange. Why didn’t I realize?”
But this time it was alright.
Instead of his eyes, Jiwon could now see his ears, which had turned bright red.
“Esper-nim liking me is so obvious when I look at you like this.”
His heart was beating pleasantly.
“Was it this obvious before? Or have you just lost the ability to hide it?”
Perhaps because his mood had lightened, Jiwon’s hand unconsciously reached out as he continued asking questions that were difficult for Suhyun to answer.
His fingertips lightly brushed against the heated ear.
“Ha…”
Simultaneously, a suppressed sigh escaped from between Suhyun’s teeth, and his dark eyes, which had been averted, once again met Jiwon’s.
“…I can touch you, right?”
Having already touched him, asking for permission came too late. It was practically just informing him.
“Why are you… so nonchalant about this?”
Instead of answering, Suhyun expressed a sigh-mixed complaint.
“Me?”
It was a very perplexing statement. In what way did he seem nonchalant?
“Do I look nonchalant to you?”
“Yes.”
“When I’m whining to the person right in front of me for not looking at me?”
Suhyun was the one who appeared relatively composed. Though looking at him now, that didn’t seem to be the case.
“I’m… actually really embarrassed right now.”
Jiwon whispered with an awkward expression. He was so embarrassed he didn’t know what to do.
“But I don’t want to just sit still either…”
His gaze, which had been fixed on Suhyun’s ear tip that hadn’t yet returned to its original color, slowly fell to his hand with its visible veins.
‘I want to hold his hand.’
He wanted to hold his hand, hug him… and kiss him too.
The distance between them felt too far right now. At least, that’s how Jiwon felt.
‘Should I suggest guiding?’
The easiest means to satisfy his desire came to mind, but Jiwon dismissed it immediately.
Using guiding as an excuse didn’t feel right. He couldn’t bring up guiding every time he wanted to touch him…
For now, he wanted to be close enough to share skinship freely without the pretext of guiding. After all, their feelings were mutual now, so shouldn’t that be acceptable?
But what kind of relationship were they in now?
“…Esper-nim.”
With a furrowed brow at the untimely question, Jiwon opened his mouth.
“So are we dating now?”
Then he asked directly.
It was because he realized they still hadn’t defined their relationship, which should have been the most basic step.
“Ah…”
The immediate response was a faint sigh. As if he hadn’t expected such a question, his face was filled with bewilderment.
“We are, right?”
But Jiwon showed no mercy to Suhyun’s situation. Although he seemed to be rushing things a bit, Jiwon had no patience when it came to defining their relationship.
He wanted reassurance and wanted to move forward faster because of it. Not to awkwardly hesitate around each other.
Although it felt incredibly embarrassing to expose his inner thoughts like this, it was worth it if he could gain certainty from it.
‘I want to touch you…’
The ulterior motives filling his mind were urging him to get an answer from Suhyun quickly.
“If Guide-nim…”
After what seemed like an eternity, Suhyun finally spoke.
“…is okay with it.”
Though it was a positive answer, it wasn’t entirely satisfying. Jiwon narrowed his eyes and asked:
“What if Esper-nim isn’t okay with it?”
“I am okay with it.”
Unlike a moment ago, this time the answer was immediate and decisive.
Jiwon, who had almost raised the corners of his mouth, controlled his expression and asked again:
“Just ‘okay’ with it? I’m thrilled about it. I’m desperate for it. But for you, it’s just ‘okay’?”
Suhyun seemed quite taken aback by Jiwon’s deliberately provocative words.
The reaction was so fresh and new that Jiwon almost wanted to tease him more.
“That’s not what I meant.”
“Hmm…”
“I like you. So I also…”
“…”
“…”
“Yes, you also…?”
Although he could sufficiently guess Suhyun’s feelings, Jiwon persisted with a determination to hear it all the way through.
Simply because he wanted to hear it.
“…want to date Guide-nim.”
Faced with Jiwon’s stubbornness, Suhyun finally surrendered.
The words he spoke with great difficulty were enough to stir Jiwon’s heart.
Jiwon smiled brightly, as if he had been waiting for this.
“I’d like that. Really, I’d like that so much.”
There was no need for time to consider.
