Jun-wan nodded. Then he quietly tilted his drink. He thought Yu-shin’s decision wasn’t his place to interfere. Also, he didn’t want Yu-shin to become more famous than he already was.
“Thanks to finding my calling early, I’ve earned quite a bit. Enough to live comfortably without working for life. I admit my spending is extravagant, but it all comes from my own pocket. I’d appreciate it if you didn’t think I’m bleeding my parents dry.”
“I’ll apologize for that. I misunderstood.”
Yu-shin gladly accepted the apology. He also answered that he’d try to reduce his spending. In the much more harmonious atmosphere, he tore off and ate well-grilled mung bean jeon. Jun-wan was also occasionally moving his chopsticks.
“It takes quite a while to complete one piece. Fast is two weeks, long can be several months. I’m not just lazing around, so don’t nag me about it.”
“Were you actually holding onto what I said this whole time?”
“Maybe? Guess I hold grudges.”
Yu-shin laughed and downed his drink. Since it was high-proof alcohol, he should only wet his mouth little by little. He couldn’t make the disgraceful mistake of getting completely drunk again.
In contrast, Jun-wan cleanly emptied his cup every time. Judging by how his complexion didn’t change at all, his tolerance seemed quite high.
“Is there anything else you’re hiding?”
Yu-shin thought for a moment. Whether he should or shouldn’t reveal what he was concealing inside, anguish rained down.
“I have low blood pressure.”
In the end, he pulled out one tightly hidden secret. Since they’d be living together continuously, it seemed impossible to completely deceive Park Jun-wan.
“My inability to come to my senses in the morning is because of low blood pressure.”
“Is it severe?”
“A little.”
Jun-wan’s face became serious.
Over just low blood pressure. Yu-shin gave a bitter smile. This is why I didn’t want to say anything. Being treated like a patient was definitely unpleasant.
“Sometimes I’ll be sensitive and my energy will be low. I’d like you to think, ‘His condition isn’t good today.'”
“Are you managing it properly?”
“Yes, I even had a health checkup recently. I mean, it’s not serious enough to frown like that. Anyone would think I have an incurable disease.”
Yu-shin deliberately laughed lightly. While keeping his mouth firmly shut about his actual health condition. It couldn’t be helped. Seeing Jun-wan react so seriously to just a slight mention, he really couldn’t bring himself to reveal it.
“That’s the end of my confessions. Now it’s Park Jun-wan’s turn.”
One of Jun-wan’s eyebrows rose crookedly.
“I have nothing to hide.”
“Then I’ll ask some personal questions.”
Yu-shin propped his chin on both his rolled-up fists and pressed his upper belly close to the edge of the table.
“By any chance… do you have a hidden lover somewhere?”
Even though there were only the two of them at home, Yu-shin lowered his voice considerably as if it were something no one should hear.
The question was so absurd that Jun-wan openly scoffed.
“So you do? Or you don’t?”
“I don’t.”
“Do you plan to make one in the future?”
Jun-wan picked up his cup. In the silence, the gesture of pouring cheongju into his mouth and his gaze directly at Yu-shin was practically equivalent to cursing.
He seemed to have already gotten his answer from that cold look. Yu-shin scratched his nose bridge for no reason.
“Won’t you feel regretful? Being tied to me for life.”
“What do you mean?”
“Honestly, Park Jun-wan, you’re too good a person to live like this. Even though we married by royal command, emotional aspects can’t be forced. So what I’m saying is, as long as we maintain the marriage, wouldn’t it be okay to have spiritual exchanges with other people…”
“That’s Kim Yu-shin’s opinion, and I don’t agree.”
Jun-wan answered immediately without hesitation.
“Once married, that’s it. Whether spiritual or physical, cheating is something only trash does.”
Jun-wan’s voice was sharp, as if it were an unpleasant thought. He was clearly someone with yangban family principles. While he accepted same-sex marriage, infidelity seemed far outside his moral standards.
Well, wasn’t he a descendant of the upright Park clan? Yu-shin nodded. If that was his thinking, it couldn’t be helped.
“Fine, then let’s say the two of us grow old together whether we like it or not. How many times have you dated so far?”
“Can’t you raise the level of your questions?”
“I said these were personal questions.”
Yu-shin stared intently at the person across from him, determined to get an answer. Burdened by the gaze full of interest, Jun-wan pressed his fingertips firmly against his irritated brow.
“Three times.”
“Wow….”
Yu-shin let out a small exclamation. His expression genuinely envied someone else’s dating history. Jun-wan was so dumbfounded he straightened his back and quietly crossed his arms.
“Let me ask one thing too. What were you doing all this time that you never dated even once?”
“Right now is my question time though.”
“……”
“Were any of your dating partners men? Or was there anyone who pursued you?”
Jun-wan slowly closed his eyes and opened them. There was much he wanted to say, but he held back for now.
“I’m not attracted to men.”
“How can you be so sure?”
“Not knowing your own sexual orientation doesn’t make sense. Even if Kim Yu-shin kissed me right now, I wouldn’t feel anything.”
Yu-shin’s mouth gradually fell open. He briefly imagined it after hearing his words.
“Are you crazy? Why would you give such a disgusting example?”
“I merely examined whether the premise was valid using the most appropriate example.”
“Even so…”
Yu-shin’s shoulders shuddered. He slightly wet his lips with alcohol and quickly erased from his mind what he’d briefly imagined.
The cheongju scent remaining on his lips was quite deep. Yu-shin ran his tongue over the inside of his lips and sent his gaze to the cup in front of him. Jun-wan had drunk about half the alcohol. Despite the high proof, he kept pouring it down in one gulp, which seemed more amazing the more he watched.
“Do you drink well?”
“My tolerance is high, so I rarely get drunk.”
“And no bad drinking habits?”
“……”
The person who had answered every question without hesitation suddenly couldn’t answer. Yu-shin waited for a response then raised his eyes. He could see Jun-wan chewing his lips.
So he does have one. Yu-shin burst into laughter. To think that Park Jun-wan, who seemed upright in all things, also had a drinking habit—surprisingly human.
“What is it?”
“……”
“Loud singing, sleeping on the street, repeating what you already said. That kind?”
“……”
“Maybe… you cry?”
He asked as carefully as possible. Not that either? Since there was still no answer, it was starting to get scary.
“Seeing you can’t say, it must be really bad.”
“Let’s stop this topic.”
“Why? You were the one who went on and on about me being a drunk that night. I’ve decided. Someday I’m going to get evidence of Park Jun-wan totally wasted.”
Yu-shin made a determined expression. As if having gotten proper dirt on him, he expounded on his aspirations.
Jun-wan picked up his chopsticks. He stuffed a chive jeon into Yu-shin’s chattering mouth.
“Kim Yu-shin will never see me drunk, so give up.”
“……”
Yu-shin chewed the jeon. Just look at that cunning face. Meeting his gaze directly, he swallowed the food in his mouth.
“Can you guarantee that?”
“Yes.”
Jun-wan’s answer held not a hint of hesitation. And to the end, he didn’t mention his drinking habit.
Everyone had secrets. Even a man without gaps had at least one secret he wanted to hide.
***
These were days of ordinary routine. Yu-shin painted whenever he had time, and Jun-wan was devoted to his research.
Perhaps the frank conversation they’d had helped them understand each other, as Jun-wan no longer pointed out Yu-shin’s behavior. Even seeing him sprawled on the sofa, he figured he was resting, and on days when Yu-shin was occasionally irritable, he thought his condition wasn’t good and kept an appropriate distance.
On days when Yu-shin was holed up in the studio, he’d definitely drag him out at dinnertime. Otherwise, he’d lose track of time and stay in there continuously.
Today was no different. Jun-wan called Yu-shin out when he was still absorbed in his work past 8 PM. He felt a little sorry for breaking his concentration, but it was also something Yu-shin had requested himself.
The days of living their own lives while minimally interfering with each other were becoming quite familiar. If they continued living like this, he thought their married life would be uneventful.
They went to bed at midnight. Yu-shin came into bed late, having gone to the bathroom to get his wedding ring. Jun-wan could feel him stealing glances, but he didn’t make any additional comments about it.
These days, Kim Yu-shin had a faint scent of ink. An ink fragrance on a face as white as porcelain—it was a contradictory combination, but strangely it was a scent that suited Kim Yu-shin.
“I have a department dinner tomorrow. I’ll be quite late.”
Since they were married, they at least shared basic schedules. Jun-wan spoke casually.
“Where do the lab people have dinners?”
“The obvious places, I suppose.”
