“Can I ask you something?”
After demolishing a banana, it seemed like he’d regained some energy. Yeom Chaewoo answered curtly while looking at her phone.
“I need to head to the store, so make it quick.”
“How was your first time?”
But at these words, she had no choice but to put her phone back down.
“Excuse me, Hyun Jaeha. I’m not ready to have this kind of intimate talk with you yet, okay?”
“I don’t want to hear the details of your sex life either, you know? I’m just asking how it felt.”
“Do you think that’s a question worth asking? Obviously….”
Normally, she would’ve ended the conversation with something like ‘it was fucking amazing.’ But Yeom Chaewoo furrowed her brow and stared at Jaeha as if something had occurred to her. He hadn’t slept the night before and had been wearing an uncharacteristically gloomy expression, and now he was asking about ‘first time impressions.’ It was obvious something had happened.
“To be honest, I was like ‘is this right?’ Like, shit, am I doing this right? Am I doing it properly right now?”
“That person? The one who runs a hair salon?”
“Yeah, my friend’s mom. Oh, but it wasn’t an affair, okay? Her husband cheated and left home four years ago.”
“Seeing how you cut contact after that, I guess it was shitty.”
“Hey, no. She said she felt guilty about doing it with her son’s friend, so we tearfully parted ways.”
“She even rejected you gently so you wouldn’t get hurt. She sounds like a nice person.”
“I’m gonna die, seriously. Where does this defective stock that couldn’t even get laid after all these years get off running their mouth?”
“If we’re being precise, I’d appreciate it if you’d think of me as whiskey that gains value the longer it ages unopened?”
“Bullshit. How much is a 23-year Ballantine? Doesn’t it cost around 300,000 won? You’re this 300,000 won thing?”
“Says the one who opened it when it wasn’t even worth 150,000 won.”
“Ah, keep your whiskey bullshit to yourself. The reality is you’re an expired sausage.”
Jaeha thought as he shoved the half-remaining banana into his mouth in one bite. Still, I’m not a sausage. That rots.
Watching Jaeha quietly shut his mouth and just chew on his banana, Yeom Chaewoo clenched her fist and threw a victory ceremony. Well done, Yeom Chaewoo. You finally defeated that bass-like bastard whose mouth would be the only thing floating if he fell into the Han River.
But soon she regained her composure and ruminated on the conversation they’d just had.
Right? That must be it, right?
“Why, did you lose your virginity yesterday?”
Jaeha threw the banana peel at her.
“Excuse me, Yeom Chaewoo. I’m not ready to have this kind of intimate talk with you yet.”
“Says the one who started it first.”
Jaeha turned sharply toward the window. Sunlight seeping through the curtain gap pricked his eyelids painfully. Before he knew it, Yeom Chaewoo had rushed over and was prodding his ribs persistently.
“Why, didn’t it go well? Ah, fine. I don’t want to hear every detail of your private life either, so just tell me your impressions. I told you mine. Are you gonna be petty and just listen to my story then pretend it never happened?”
He wrapped the blanket tightly around himself to avoid the fierce fingers digging into his ribs, but Yeom Chaewoo didn’t give up. She climbed on top of Jaeha backward and started tickling the soles of his feet sticking out from the blanket. Their bodies had grown, but their behavior hadn’t escaped their preschool playmate days.
Being tickled wasn’t particularly painful, but since he didn’t want Yeom Chaewoo to keep holding onto his legs, Jaeha eventually gave her the answer she wanted.
“Similar to you. ‘Is this right?'”
Yeom Chaewoo dropped Jaeha’s ankle, which she’d been holding under her arm, onto the floor with a thud.
Then, as if unsure how to react to this unexpectedly honest confession, she rolled her eyes around before protesting.
“Mine wasn’t that bad though?”
That made sense. Yeom Chaewoo would’ve only had thoroughly consensual relationships.
“A physical problem?”
Jaeha looked at her with a snort as if it was ridiculous. Given Yeom Chaewoo’s personality, she’d brought this up because it seemed like the ‘least likely problem.’
“No, but if it were that kind of problem, similar things would repeat even with different partners, so I was thinking you should try for a miracle of modern medicine.”
“If I show you for exactly 5 minutes right now, will you believe me?”
“Crazy, why would you whip it out for 5 whole minutes? Do you have exhibitionism?”
“So you can check the before and after of something you’ll only see once in your lifetime.”
“Ugh, I don’t want to see a guy’s dick until the day I die. If I die first, you have to enshrine me in a women-only columbarium. Got it?”
“That would be too inconsiderate to the people enshrined with you though. You’d be hitting on everyone in all directions.”
Perhaps there was a guilty conscience somewhere, as Yeom Chaewoo kicked the blanket-wrapped Jaeha’s butt. This was exactly what it meant when they say the one who farted gets angry.
“Ha, but why am I even saying this. It’s been almost a year for me too. I don’t know what kind of shitty experience you had, but anyway, you did it yesterday.”
Is this supposed to be comforting?
Jaeha tilted his head toward her as if telling her to continue.
“And you saw earlier, right? Even if it’s the right key, the door won’t open if you put it in upside down. So it’s not that you’re wrong, it could be a matter of direction. Next time, try changing the mood or something.”
Actually, Yeom Chaewoo wasn’t someone who was awkward about giving warm words to others. She just felt resistant to the situation of having to offer gentle comfort to Jaeha, who was like a tactless younger brother.
“Mm, so you’re saying if I keep poking at it, it’ll open eventually?”
Sure enough, Jaeha mercilessly poured salt on Yeom Chaewoo’s heart, which had been feeling proud of leaving what seemed like a pretty decent piece of advice.
“No? No, no? That’s not it? I think you misunderstood what I said?”
“You said to try poking around changing directions, and if it doesn’t turn, keep trying until it does. That’s how you get into the house.”
“No, yeah, fine, okay. Do whatever you want. When you get arrested, I’ll appear on every broadcasting station’s investigative reporting program and testify, collecting interview fees. ‘Hyun Jaeha? I knew something like this would happen someday. I’ve known him since we were kids and he had, what do you call it? Psychopath? He had those tendencies.’ Like this.”
Watching her even provide thorough self-voice modulation, Jaeha pulled up the corners of his mouth. He was clearly smiling, but it must not have looked that way to Yeom Chaewoo’s eyes. Judging by how she stopped talking and stared intently at Jaeha with an expression that said she didn’t know how to react.
“Ah shit, I’m late opening. It’s because you said useless things.”
Yeom Chaewoo got needlessly irritated and made a fuss grabbing her work vest.
Jaeha just shook his head lazily left and right instead of waving to say goodbye.
The front door closed.
He didn’t hear the sound of the lock clicking. She must’ve forgotten to lock the door again.
Maybe even a moment ago, the front door had been open.
It had just been firmly shut because Jaeha had assumed it was locked and given up without even trying to turn the handle.
Without needing to find a key, it might’ve opened easily with just pulling the doorknob.
The old man at the key shop had been blankly guarding a one-span storefront every day, distinguished by worn-out partitions and faded product boxes in the middle of the maze-like first-floor shopping complex.
He was usually completely lacking in sociability. He couldn’t even join when the shopping complex people gathered in threes and fives to play Go-Stop or Korean chess, just staring at a tiny TV of unknown age watching only the billiards channel all day. Then occasionally when he got a call from a customer, he’d load his toolbox onto a rusty bicycle and ride off creaking before returning. On such evenings, he’d loiter in front of the second-floor billiards hall, peeking inside to see if there were any old people he might fit in with.
Even when Jaeha first came to look around Baekjin Shopping Complex, the old man had been hesitating in front of the billiards hall. Inside, middle-aged people who looked to be in their 50s were gathered, enjoying a game. Even though if he went in and asked the group watching if they’d like to play a game together, they’d readily accept, the old man seemed to lack even the courage to speak up. Until Jaeha finished looking around the rooftop and came down, the old man stood in a spot where the billiards hall owner wouldn’t notice him, crumpling a 10,000 won bill in his hand.
It wasn’t particularly out of sympathy. He wasn’t sentimental enough to be reminded of his late grandfather whenever he saw an old person. The reason Jaeha first spoke to the old man was purely because he was a good target for extracting information about the shopping complex. Which store had the most complicated debt relationships, which places were vacant. These kinds of timid old people usually kept their mouths shut but their ears open, so they were well-informed about rumors.
“Do you know how to play billiards?”
As soon as he asked this, the old man glared at Jaeha as if he’d been greatly insulted. From his hair color to the way he dressed, to the old man’s eyes, this ‘complete hooligan’ youngster seemed to be picking a needless fight. Perhaps he had tremendous pride in billiards, because even if someone had snapped at him asking how he could handle locks so poorly after running a key shop for decades, he probably wouldn’t have shown this level of anger.
