# Chapter 163
The plan changed. I decided to hold off on meddling with the Naru figures. I might not know about Kang Dongha, but attacking Kang Dongying, the Vice President, and the Chairman would essentially be an act of self-destruction.
There had to be a way to reduce that risk and still achieve results. Perhaps through the thorough assistance of someone connected to all of them, or help from someone with power exceeding Naru’s.
Whichever I begged for would be more troublesome and difficult than originally planned. I could only hope that as the skill’s collapse changed the flow of the situation from before, luck would also be generated to correct it.
Taesung stared at Lee Hwan’s unsteadily wavering eyes. Those shocked eyes held a wounded light. He had already anticipated that hiding the regression would elicit considerable protest.
Still, if Lee Hwan heard everything, he would again move in a direction unfavorable to his own life. Though regretful, Taesung intended to keep the previous seven regressions hidden until Lee Hwan’s safety was assured.
Until then, he hoped Lee Hwan would be less anxious. He hoped all the memories Lee Hwan recalled would fit together piece by piece as much as possible, allowing him to realize the whole truth slowly.
***
“…That’s right. The penalty. Actually, we regressed once before.”
“What? What does that…!”
“It wasn’t a good return, I couldn’t bring myself to talk about it.”
“…”
“I’m sorry.”
Though Lee Hwan had a premonition when he asked, he didn’t expect to actually receive such an answer. For a moment, he lost his words and stared at Taesung.
A deep light of resignation washed over his face. Lee Hwan blankly stared into his eyes and recalled the strange memories that had been arbitrarily intruding into his daily life recently.
The scene from a hospital he had never been admitted to in his life, the recurring sense of déjà vu, Kang Dongying’s voice echoing in his head despite never having met him…
If there truly was a regression he didn’t know about, it would explain everything with remarkable clarity. However, he couldn’t understand how it was possible, or why Taesung had hidden it all this time.
“You’re saying we already… regressed once.”
“…”
“Why did we come back again?”
Pain subtly settled on his pale face. Lee Hwan felt he knew roughly what had happened even before hearing the answer.
‘I wasn’t lying when I said there’s a way to turn things back. Just wait a little longer.’
Himself, sitting up against a hospital bed. Taesung, trying his best to instill hope.
That regression probably ended in failure. Judging by Taesung’s tired eyes, it seemed an unfavorable end had befallen him.
Lee Hwan grabbed Taesung’s shoulders. Rather than comfort, it was closer to pressing him, as if he kept hiding important stories.
“Tell me. I want to hear it from your mouth.”
After requesting in a half-commanding tone, Taesung slowly closed and opened his eyes before speaking.
“I don’t know how much I can say. There seems to be a restriction.”
“Say as much as you can.”
At the firm pressing, Taesung moved his lips. After contemplating whether he could speak or not, he suddenly blurted out:
“You died.”
At the simple and clear answer, Lee Hwan’s heart dropped. He bit his lip hard.
It was something he had roughly guessed since recalling the memory of that hospital room. But hearing it directly with his ears, the shock was extraordinary.
“I found the cause of the monster wave. You were severely injured trying to stop it.”
His voice was dry and devastated, making it impossible for Lee Hwan to think it was a lie.
“Maybe because we regressed together, I got a chance too. I designated you as the target and regressed again. Although it was a bit late.”
“The fact that only you remember it is…”
Lee Hwan, who was about to question, stopped speaking again. If the reason was because he had died, it felt like it would be too cruel a question.
His eyes looked particularly exhausted. Somehow, he had a more mature and worn gaze since the regression. Lee Hwan felt like laughing bitterly inside as he realized his intuition, which kept warning him of strangeness, wasn’t wrong.
However, he didn’t want to gloss over it ambiguously this time for fear of making him struggle or getting hurt. He had already pretended not to know many times, feeling sorry for him.
The shock of being told he had died lasted only briefly. Lee Hwan felt as if all the resentment he had accumulated suddenly overflowed.
‘Who does he take me for?’
If he had already regressed once with the regression skill Lee Hwan used at that time, and if that regression was why he got injured, he should have told him all the more. Instead of suffering alone behind the scenes, coming back, and wandering around the house while asleep causing worry, he should have honestly revealed that he had gone through a tough time because Lee Hwan had died.
He was Taesung’s friend and a comrade who shared life and death, not someone to be protected like porcelain. Thus, Lee Hwan believed it was the minimum courtesy.
“If I hadn’t asked, when were you planning to tell me?”
Despite the polite wording of the question, coldness dripped from his voice. Taesung’s gaze, which had been looking pitiful, wavered slightly.
“Have I ever pried into your stories? Have I ever dug into things you didn’t want to tell me?”
The eyes facing him showed a bewildered light at the words that stabbed precisely at the facts. Did he really think that after hearing he had died in the previous regression, Lee Hwan would be so shocked that he would let it pass without inquiry?
The thought occurred to him that perhaps he would have done just that originally. He would have been startled by the unexpected news and would have felt sorry for Taesung who had gone through such an experience.
However, Lee Hwan’s temper had already been scratched for weeks by persistent doubts. It felt like his patience was wearing thin with every breath.
He had finally caught a thread and pressed for answers, but so far, he had only heard about someone dying and nothing else. With his personality, there was no way he would be satisfied with that and back down.
Taesung still had his eyes open miserably. So pitifully that even in this disappointing moment, Lee Hwan wanted to reach out and poke his cheek. When strands of his hair fell and slightly covered his eyes, Lee Hwan unconsciously almost fixed it for him.
‘You bastard.’
Taesung knew well that Lee Hwan was weak to his expressions. Though his suffering wasn’t a lie, deliberately lowering his eyebrows like that was clearly targeting him.
‘You can’t spit on a sad face, is that it?’
Lee Hwan was someone who could smile at even those he genuinely disliked. Surviving alone in society was an art practiced with acting and social skills.
Yet this man dared to play tricks with expressions on him several times. If he came at him like this, Lee Hwan could play along too.
Lee Hwan raised his eyebrows and opened his mouth.
“What am I to you? You said we were friends, but is the gap too big to include me in important matters?”
As if it was unexpected, Taesung widened his eyes.
“…It’s not like that.”
“So were you planning to tell me after I died this time too? Were you going to let me know while burning incense for me?”
Heat filled his previously cold tone. As the end of his words trembled slightly with sorrow, Taesung’s Adam’s apple followed with a big movement.
As if on cue, moisture subtly formed around Lee Hwan’s eyes. The sigh he exhaled while frowning trembled and broke off bit by bit.
“Forget it. I was the one being insensitive.”
“Lee Hwan. Joo Lee Hwan.”
“Seems like I was quite the ankle-grabber in the last regression.”
As if there was nothing more to hear, he abruptly stood up. As he tried to walk into the room, Taesung also quickly rose and grabbed Lee Hwan’s arm.
‘!’
A hot hand touched his arm. Despite it being just a warm sensation, Lee Hwan startled as if burned and sharply shook off his hand. Taesung’s discarded hand hovered in the air.
The sudden illusion of his arm being ripped off made him overreact. Judging by Taesung’s recent behavior, Lee Hwan thought he would make another bitter expression and back down.
However, Taesung neither withdrew his hand nor stepped back. Instead, he suddenly pulled Lee Hwan and embraced him like a cage. As the large body wrapped around him tightly from behind, Lee Hwan suddenly stiffened.
“It’s really not like that. I’ve never thought that way, not once.”
Unstable breathing and urgent heartbeats flowed directly through their touching bodies. As if the pain that had spread across his face earlier wasn’t a lie.
Feeling his nape tingle from the breath, Lee Hwan swung hard at the arms wrapped around his waist with a thud.
“I just wanted to live with you for a long time. Safely. Without getting hurt.”
“You don’t want to work with me, but you want to hang out? Should I take that as an insult?”
“I was scared. Afraid that something would go wrong with you again.”
The mouth that always repeated that everything was fine spoke of fear for the first time. Lee Hwan, who was about to strike the embracing arms once more, stopped abruptly at those words.
“Every time I close my eyes, I see you injured.”
“…”
“The regression skill has disappeared, so I can’t rewind again… I dream of you dying.”
His voice trembled gradually as he continued speaking. Taesung buried his face in Lee Hwan’s shoulder and murmured as if spitting it out. With each movement of his dry lips, it felt like his entire body resonated. Lee Hwan trembled.
“I don’t know what happened last time, but I won’t die. I was the only one unscathed before the first regression too.”
Taesung was silent at the firm answer. Instead, his increasingly hot body and erratic heartbeat spoke for his state of mind. Perhaps what Lee Hwan had said earlier was a bit cruel. He wasn’t unaware of the feeling of being left alone in the world.
Taesung still wandered around the house every moonlit night. Only after tightly embracing Lee Hwan, not wanting to let go even while asleep, would he find relief.
“Haa…”
In the end, Lee Hwan sighed deeply and reached his arms back to hold Taesung’s body.
“Come out. I can’t comfort you when you’re behind me like that.”
Feeling as if he was poking at Taesung’s rough wounds, Lee Hwan couldn’t just leave him be. Having gone this far, he expected Taesung to now understand and share a few believable stories.
Following his gesture, the hot body separated from his back, making him shiver. Only then did Lee Hwan realize his legs had gone weak. As he staggered slightly, Taesung caught him and embraced him face to face, pulling him into his arms.
Perhaps because he was often held by him while sleeping, though his ears grew hot, he wasn’t startled like before. Because he found Taesung’s hand stroking the back of his head vexing, Lee Hwan kicked his leg hard once.
That night, Taesung once again wandered in the darkness searching for Lee Hwan. Anticipating this, Lee Hwan had come out to wait for him. He picked Taesung up and threw him onto the bed, then lay down next to him without even being grabbed by the hem of his clothes.
Only after Taesung fell asleep could Lee Hwan touch his face. With his eyes closed, he certainly looked younger than he did seven years ago.
Holding his limp hand against his own face, Lee Hwan fell into thought, not even knowing what he was doing.
‘The regression wasn’t the first time.’ As soon as he heard those words, the disjointed speculations began to connect haphazardly. Along with that, he gained one more realization.
‘Taesung could genuinely deceive him.’
To some, statements like “bees make honey” or “sponge cake isn’t made from sponges” might sound obvious. But not to Lee Hwan. He had always trusted Taesung.
But thinking about it now, even right before the regression, Taesung had diligently hidden his injuries. Though everything eventually worked out thanks to the regression, if it hadn’t, how empty would Lee Hwan have felt when later faced with his death?
Taesung wouldn’t harm him. Instead, he would try to shield Lee Hwan’s eyes with lies whenever necessary and sacrifice himself. His pattern was now somewhat readable.
So after listening to all his words, Lee Hwan’s judgment was roughly:
‘This idiot… someone needs to watch his back.’
Just as Taesung didn’t want to lose him, he didn’t want to lose Taesung either. Someone needed to help with his struggles.
And there had never been anyone better than Lee Hwan to back him up.
From that day on, Lee Hwan began to recall, piece by piece, memories that were infinitely strange yet undoubtedly his own.
