# Chapter 162
As day broke, Lee Hwan finally fled the house. The sound of him calmly ripping off the doorknob and throwing it away remained vivid over the phone. Though Taesung wanted to drop everything and go to him, he happened to be waiting for the Chairman.
The Chairman’s reaction was the same this time too. He said the only thing that had changed was Lee Hwan himself. Taesung wasn’t sure whether to consider this fortunate or concerning.
To make matters worse, he sensed the Chairman growing suspicious and beginning to subtly distance himself. The man avoided Taesung’s touch. Even if unconscious, it was clearly an expression of wariness.
Had there been any reason for Lee Hwan to avoid him before the very first regression? Even searching through his dim memories from so long ago, Taesung couldn’t find any specific reason.
Originally, Lee Hwan should have relied on Taesung without any suspicion. If it had been him from the third cycle onwards, perhaps…
‘…’
The skill had affected time and memory. What had happened to all of Lee Hwan’s memories that had accumulated but remained unreturned, used as parts, and the time that had been seized?
Taesung lowered his arm and clenched his fist. Otherwise, he felt he might reveal his trembling fingertips. A distant sensation numbed his brain. It was as if all the blood flowing through his body had frozen cold.
As Lee Hwan smiled awkwardly, Taesung also forced the corners of his lips up and carefully examined the face before him. Trying to read his expression, he was once again enveloped in an endless chill.
Had Lee Hwan recovered his memories? No, that wasn’t it. If he had, things would have been rather simpler. He wouldn’t have forgotten how Taesung had struggled to save him.
Lee Hwan still seemed unaware of anything. He just appeared to feel some strange sense of déjà vu. Perhaps he had glimpsed fragments of his lost past. At that thought, an emotion that could be either relief or despair surged through Taesung.
If Lee Hwan were to recover memories of all the regressions, would he distrust and avoid Taesung? No, before that, if he guessed what had happened in the past…
…Would coincidental circumstances once again drive him to his death this time?
The more complicated his thoughts became, the less Taesung spoke. Even knowing Lee Hwan was anxious, he couldn’t properly comfort him. He couldn’t bear to look at his face.
Unable to return to the living room where Lee Hwan was, yet unable to retreat completely into his room either, Taesung just lingered in the kitchen. He just wanted to hear Lee Hwan’s voice.
Affectionately, Lee Hwan endured Taesung’s strange behavior and approached him first again. He pulled Taesung to the sofa and laid his head on Taesung’s lap.
“I’ve wanted to do this. For a long time. The stone floor was a bit hard.”
For a moment, Taesung was entranced by Lee Hwan’s gently curved eyes. Without realizing it, he placed his hand on Lee Hwan’s soft cheek. Unable to suppress his emotions, Taesung briefly covered Lee Hwan’s eyes. As he stroked his hair, he felt Lee Hwan’s breath tickling his palm.
A strange emotion rose up and pounded at Taesung’s heart. He wanted to embrace Lee Hwan, and also wanted to just cry out wildly.
What should he do with him? What on earth should he be doing?
‘Joo Lee Hwan…’
Throughout nine regressions, there was something Taesung had never been able to say aloud. At first, he’d hoped Lee Hwan would realize it himself, and later, he feared Lee Hwan might run away like a startled deer.
But now he had a premonition that by the end of this cycle, he would finally spill out the emotions that had accumulated layer by layer.
Poke. Lee Hwan jabbed his chin. Taesung awkwardly smiled.
‘I like you.’
Lee Hwan giggled as he joked around. Taesung pressed his lips against Lee Hwan’s hand and looked back at him with eyes rippling with all sorts of emotions.
‘I like you, Joo Lee Hwan.’
The tips of Lee Hwan’s ears turned faintly red. Taesung breathed in his scent deep into his lungs. At the tail end of this tragic long journey, his extinguished will began to burn again.
“I’ve wanted to do this too. For a long time. Many times.”
Honestly, he had been exhausted. After failing seven times, he had no faith that he would succeed on the eighth attempt. So if the inevitable end were to come, Taesung had planned to follow Lee Hwan.
But he couldn’t let him go again. Looking at Lee Hwan’s smile, Taesung thought that the reason he had stubbornly survived alone all this time was solely for the regression. So if one of them absolutely had to go, it would be enough if he disappeared.
* * *
To protect Lee Hwan, he needed to help him develop his abilities. Using supernatural abilities required registration as an Awakened person.
When Taesung personally contacted them to inquire about the Awakened registration procedure, the Administration Bureau stirred with excitement and completed their preparations. In just one day, he received word that a visit was possible. He carefully escorted Lee Hwan into the car and headed to the ability assessment center.
Since Taesung was personally accompanying him, attention poured toward Lee Hwan. Taesung somehow felt proud himself.
It was a natural reaction. Lee Hwan deserved such treatment. He was an all-around ability user who could perform the roles of buffer, debuffer, and dealer, albeit in a limited capacity. Adding him to a team could reduce exploration personnel by four people—that’s how capable he was.
Lee Hwan, who seemed somewhat tense at first, perhaps because of his skill, got excited and displayed his abilities when given the opportunity. He could attack someone with a space designation as small as a fist, but remarkably, the entire assessment center fell within his range.
The sight of him using his abilities with a confident expression seemed particularly radiant.
‘Probably A-grade.’
Originally, Lee Hwan had remained at B-grade despite having a useful ability, as he hit the wall of physical limitations. This time, he had shown enough potential to surpass that, so A-grade seemed appropriate.
Unlike Taesung, who could only light and extinguish fires, Lee Hwan’s ability had something more sophisticated about it. Taesung watched with amazement as Lee Hwan skillfully designated spaces, twisted them, and imposed restrictions.
‘With A-grade, he’ll receive proper management and moderate attention anywhere, so he’ll be fine even without someone watching his back.’
He just needed to avoid being tied to Naru. Whether those things made trouble, or Taesung destroyed everything first, being far away from there would be safer.
Taesung tried to dissuade Lee Hwan from joining Naru, knowing he would be disappointed. The clearly upset expression on Lee Hwan’s face made Taesung feel wounded too, but he couldn’t show his emotions openly.
Because Lee Hwan, sensing something strange, was growing increasingly sensitive and perceptive.
‘…Causality.’
When Lee Hwan unconsciously muttered that word, Taesung felt as if the ground beneath him was shaking. He had already suspected that Lee Hwan was gradually recalling fragments of scattered memories. But deep down, he had hoped that wasn’t the case. That he was mistaken. That Lee Hwan had just been tired with fortunate timing.
And now, faced with such undeniable evidence, he felt a slight despair. He would have to roughly finish what he had planned before Lee Hwan remembered more.
The information gained through repeated regressions wasn’t limited to skill stones and semi-awakenings. Taesung had carefully investigated the pasts of the obstacles too. Who had committed what wrongdoings, and in which direction and how the accumulated grudges should burst for maximum effect.
There was virtually no one in the Health Promotion Society who had lived properly. Naturally, there were many people desperate to kill them if given the chance.
‘In the end, I’ll have to handle the important ones myself…’
Anyway, since regression was no longer possible, there was no need to be anxious about completing the causality and being dragged along by the situation. He could step forward first and cut the tangled strings.
‘The newspaper side… two from the association, one big shot, Kang Dongha, Kang Dongying, Kang Taehyuk… and the Chairman.’
There were key figures in the Health Promotion Society. Additionally, there were people who had a profound influence on monster waves despite seeming insignificant, and others with strangely deep connections to Lee Hwan’s death.
If he eliminated all of them and then inflicted catastrophic damage on Naru, Lee Hwan wouldn’t die, and the world wouldn’t end. Even if Taesung was then executed by the Administration Bureau, it might be a better future for Lee Hwan.
However, ironically, the obstacle was Lee Hwan himself. Though Taesung thought he hadn’t shown much emotion, Lee Hwan uncannily detected his unstable state.
‘He has good intuition.’
Taesung, who already couldn’t sleep properly and always stayed up all night sitting in a chair. Then when he opened his eyes, he would find himself lying in bed, having fallen asleep briefly, and that was barely enough to get by.
Afterward, Lee Hwan would always wear an expression full of worry and doubt. As if he knew of his anxiety. As if he noticed that Taesung couldn’t even sleep properly.
‘For safety’s sake, I should keep him at a distance.’
But his firmly made resolve began to waver before long.
After arguing with Lee Hwan for a long time about the Naru employment issue, Taesung faced the evening. Perhaps due to accumulated fatigue, while sitting in a chair organizing future plans, he once again fell asleep without even realizing it.
When he suddenly opened his eyes, he was sleeping in bed again. But this time, a regular breathing sound came from within his arms.
Warm breath tickled his chest. He felt the slight up-and-down movement through his arm. Taesung felt his mind going blank.
‘…’
Even without bothering to separate their bodies, he could tell. The distinctive smell, the soft hair. It was Lee Hwan. He had fallen asleep deeply in Taesung’s arms.
Before he could even grasp what was happening, Lee Hwan, warmed by his body heat, made a groaning sound like sleep-talking. When Taesung pulled him close in surprise, his fidgeting body stopped.
His breathing became comfortable again. Taesung trapped him in his arms and listened to his heartbeat for a long time. How did he end up coming here while half-asleep? Was he anxious in his sleep? Did he want to see Taesung? Both scenarios seemed hard to imagine.
Lee Hwan had always subtly avoided getting too close. He would roll his eyes as if measuring the distance and move away. Yet here was Lee Hwan, who had been struggling to sleep for days after the regression, burrowing into his arms and sleeping deeply.
Even clutching Taesung’s clothes tightly as if he felt secure only when their bodies touched.
Though he still didn’t know what had happened, suddenly his heart fluttered. His heartbeat echoed in his ears, and his throat burned as if he’d swallowed fire. The back of Lee Hwan’s head, which he stroked while restraining the urge to embrace him painfully tight, was round.
Taesung held Lee Hwan, who was sleeping with his head resting on Taesung’s chest, and inhaled his scent. He felt his warmth and gently touched the mouth that exhaled steady breaths. And then, unexpectedly, the plans he had carefully developed over several days became meaningless.
It was strange. Suddenly, he wanted to live. Instead of disappearing futilely, he wanted to enjoy a more distant future with Lee Hwan.
Taesung pressed his lips on top of Lee Hwan’s head and thought until late into the night. Though everything was unclear and confusing, making the 8th cycle seem meaningless, a pillar was forming in his heart.
