# Chapter 145
Kwaaang-!
With a deafening sound, a flash appeared before his eyes, and in an instant, the world vanished.
From that moment, Lee Hwan seeped into the abyss and drifted into the vast sea.
* * *
His mind felt like a broken small light bulb. His consciousness flickered, going out with a flutter then lighting up again, then blinking off before suddenly coming back on.
He had no idea how much time had passed. The periods when his consciousness came and went felt like they might be 1 minute, 10 minutes, several hours, or even an eternity.
When his thoughts, which had been scattering like smoke, barely came together, Lee Hwan tried to figure out what had happened to him.
But it felt like his head was filled with waterlogged cotton, causing even that determination to slip away.
‘….’
Splash. His body swayed. Lee Hwan felt as if he were floating between dream and reality. Like he was searching for fragments of causality, his past memories slowly flashed before his eyes.
Lee Hwan had fallen from a slide, scraped his knee, and was wailing. Wearing suspender pants with a bear on them, he looked about eight years old at most.
A little blood had formed on his carelessly rolled-up knee. The young boy was crying as if the world was ending over just that small wound. Though he knew children didn’t know any better, seeing himself like that felt rather strange.
Was that really him? Lee Hwan wondered as he drifted through colorful bubbles.
Looking back, he seemed to have cried a lot when he was young. He would whine about fake ailments here and there and cling to his mom or dad’s back.
But everything changed in the spring of his fifteenth year. Life, where sunlight would shine beautifully in the morning and delicious food smells would waft in every evening, suddenly became a survival game.
From then until now, Lee Hwan had never once shown weakness. The world was too dangerous and cold a place to let down his guard.
‘Don’t just play games while mom and dad are gone. If you’re hungry after school, eat the fried rice I made. Dad made it, so it’s delicious.’
‘Ah, I got it.’
‘We don’t see relatives often, so come with us instead of insisting on staying home.’
‘Yeah, yeah.’
‘Promise me. Eat properly, go to bed early, and don’t cry because you’re alone.’
‘When did I ever cry? You’re saying weird things, really.’
Voices that had almost faded from memory echoed so vividly in his ears. Funnily enough, Lee Hwan realized he had been following those nagging instructions for over 10 years.
About a year after awakening, he had been seriously injured at a gate once. He was gaining attention at the time, so much so that the news was covered in Hunter News.
He had been in excruciating pain then, but throughout his treatment, he never once said he was hurting. He just gritted his teeth and groaned. And when Taesung came to visit, he didn’t show even that.
Thinking about it now, he should have just rolled around saying he was in pain. It would have been okay back then. There would have been people who would have indulged his complaints.
Despite having experienced so many things, there were so many basic things he hadn’t done in his life. Strangely, Lee Hwan suddenly felt regret about that.
Swish, his mind darkened, and the memories that had been playing slowly crumbled away like sand. It felt like his body was sinking deeper and deeper.
Blink. When consciousness returned again, somehow the world felt like it was spinning.
“—okay. It’s okay. It’s going to be okay.”
“…hurts… it hurts…”
“Don’t sleep. Joo Lee Hwan, Lee Hwan.”
A soaked voice came faintly. Though he couldn’t understand what was being said, it was quite a desperate voice.
The voice he had always wanted to hear. Kang Taesung. It was Taesung.
His heart, which had been slowly sinking, suddenly began to gather strength. The sensation of being constantly swept away somewhere finally stopped.
“…ugh…”
“It’s okay. I’m here. It’s okay.”
His mind, which was about to become anxious, settled comfortably at those reassuring words. Despite not yet grasping the situation, Lee Hwan felt relieved and quietly sank into himself.
He was no longer floating. He sank endlessly beneath the black waves.
Amid all sorts of disorganized thoughts, he finally remembered the moment when he detonated the bomb.
That’s right. He had released the space he had widely held just before triggering the detonator. Then he gathered that power and layered shields around himself.
If he were to die instantly in the explosion, it would mean losing the chance to return directly. And someone other than Taesung might discover the skill stone first.
So he had to live. He needed to hold on at least until Taesung came looking for him. With that determination, the shield he had created while coughing blood was exceptionally tough and solid.
It was merely a barrier that couldn’t perfectly defend against bullets, fragments, or heat, but it seemed to have blocked the impact of the explosion to some extent. Seeing as he was still thinking now, he hadn’t died. Unlike the trackers who had been blown to pieces, Lee Hwan seemed to have barely survived.
But he could feel it. This was just barely clinging to life. While he had prevented his limbs from being severed and blown away, he had taken tremendous damage.
No matter what he tried, he wouldn’t properly survive. Lee Hwan felt with absolute certainty that the life he had barely saved would soon end.
‘I can’t use the skill.’
Just before losing consciousness, he had seen that the regression skill had recharged. Lee Hwan had tried to use it but had helplessly given up.
He couldn’t even open his eyes at will. He couldn’t move his fingers. Needless to say, his ability wouldn’t come out at all, like wringing a bone-dry cloth.
‘I was wrong.’
He knew his own body better than anyone. Right now, he was like a cracked and empty jar. Not only could he not move properly for fear of breaking, but all his strength had leaked out, making even speaking a single word burdensome.
So if he were to regress again, he wouldn’t be the one leading it. Lee Hwan felt bitter about that fact.
This time, it felt like he could do really well. Not barging into Kang Taesung’s house, not taking drugs from Building D without preparation.
Though regret raised its head, he also felt that it might not be all bad. Lee Hwan didn’t want to be thrown alone into an unfamiliar world again. That was too lonely and arduous.
‘Kang Taesung. He must have returned.’
Suddenly, the image of his smiling face flashed before his eyes and disappeared.
Before the bomb exploded, a system message had appeared saying that the component had been returned. Since the skill ‘Broken Clockwork’ used the memory of the joint regression target as a component to go back, Taesung probably recovered the memory from before the regression that had been taken from him.
Was the voice he heard earlier from the Taesung of the past?
‘…I want to see him.’
Lee Hwan felt deep regret that he couldn’t open his eyes to check, as his consciousness kept sinking into the abyss. As if to console him, a memory of Taesung surfaced.
How many years ago was that? Lee Hwan’s real closeness with Taesung began not long after he joined the attack team.
‘Kang Taesung.’
Taesung had particularly liked Lee Hwan’s aptitude and test results. The reason Lee Hwan went directly to Attack Team 1 was probably because he was already an experienced newcomer with several years as a supporter and extensive knowledge of gates, but Taesung’s influence likely played a role as well.
He liked how Taesung casually looked after him during every battle. Honestly, he was impressed. An S-class desired by the whole world, and from Naru no less. In an environment where being arrogant and rude would be understandable, he was taciturn yet kinder and more gentle than anyone. Every gesture had an aura about it.
He could understand why people were crazy about him. He was mature beyond belief for someone the same age. He inspired admiration. Wanting to leave only a good impression on him, Lee Hwan pushed himself harshly to grow.
Perhaps because of this, not long after joining the attack team, Lee Hwan became a member of the vanguard. One evening, Taesung treated him to a meal to celebrate and suggested they drop formal speech since they were the same age.
What use is age in society? Though he didn’t carry the team leader title, he was essentially the real power, while Lee Hwan, though called a promising rookie, was just a newcomer who had recently awakened and joined the team.
It was a time when he was incredibly grateful just for keeping his assistant title from the support team.
When Lee Hwan made an awkward expression, finding the proposal thankful but burdensome, Taesung said that their combat synergy was good and he liked him. That he wanted to get closer.
My God. And so Lee Hwan became friends with him. That was the real beginning.
Following his friend’s lead, he went to expensive bars for the first time in his life, explored all kinds of gate equipment, ate ramen with someone in the park, and filled his stomach with steak.
His life, which had been nothing but study and labor, took on colorful hues. Things besides savings began to accumulate in his daily life, which had been devoid of experiences except for work-related ones.
Lying sprawled in his house, Lee Hwan felt for the first time that his life was just living rather than a survival battle. It was a peaceful happiness he hadn’t felt since losing his family.
‘…sung.’
How could he not like him? How could he resent him for momentarily forgetting himself for barely a year?
‘Kang…Taesung.’
His name kept echoing in his mind.
This won’t do. He wanted to see him. Lee Hwan suddenly struggled in the black water he had been endlessly sinking into.
Strangely, each time he whispered his name, his body rose an inch. His reason, which had been gradually surfacing, suddenly broke through the water’s surface at some point.
“Heuk!”
For the first time, his mind cleared. Lee Hwan barely lifted his eyelids and stared blankly at the blurry scene before him.
He was lying in someone’s arms in the middle of a black expanse of land where smoke was rising. The smell of blood and acrid burning was overwhelming.
The trackers who had been coming endlessly like cockroaches were nowhere to be seen. Perhaps Taesung, who had become more skilled in combat after his memories returned, had swept them all away.
Drip, drip. Water kept falling on his face, making him turn his gaze. There was Taesung’s tear-soaked face. He was shaking his firm jaw with a pale, white face.
Such a terrified expression. Judging by how his whole body felt like it was breaking apart in pain, he must have been quite a sight. No matter how shocked Taesung was, these injuries would all disappear when they regressed.
When he blinked as if to say it was okay, light gradually filled the black eyes that had been stained with despair. Lee Hwan gathered his fading strength and opened his mouth.
“…Tae…sung.”
Damn it. His throat was so cracked he couldn’t even fully speak his name. Well, even keeping his eyes open was difficult. So even squeezing out everything he had, he could only manage a word or two at most.
Lee Hwan tried to lift the corners of his mouth to calm the pained-looking Taesung, but giving up even that, he just stared blankly at his face.
This bastard, he’s going to get dehydrated. He doesn’t need to cry like this. Lee Hwan blinked and carefully examined him.
Actually, I have a regression skill stone. If I wait and regain my strength, I’ll use it to go back to the past, and even if I can’t use it in the end, you can take it.
He wanted to say there was no need to cry, but such words couldn’t be conveyed through eye contact alone.
Lee Hwan twitched his right arm and was inwardly startled to see that below the elbow was gone. However, thinking that he would leave this body behind anyway, his insides didn’t churn much.
He barely moved his left arm to hold Taesung’s hand. The hot hand pressed firmly against his palm and trembled.
With eyes that had never been wet before, he had such a pale face and was shedding tears—it was terribly pitiful even in this situation.
What last words should he leave to make him less heartbroken? He wouldn’t stop crying just because he was told not to.
Well, once the regression skill stone rose from his body, he would understand the whole situation without needing many words. So he wanted to use his last words for himself.
Though he would return soon through regression, facing death seemed to inevitably make one sentimental.
“I like you” was the first thing that came to mind, but it got caught in his throat and couldn’t come out. “I missed you” wasn’t enough. And giving a detailed explanation about regression was clearly impossible since he wouldn’t be able to finish half of it.
So instead of all those stories, Lee Hwan uttered the words he had held inside throughout the regression.
“Kuluk, Kang…sung.”
“Lee Hwan, Joo Lee Hwan.”
“This time… really… you come find me.”
You bastard. After saying it, a smile involuntarily rose to his lips. It was truly a tasteless and petty thing to say, but it made him feel relieved.
Only then, as if he had completed his task, all his strength drained away.
“No. No… please.”
Since he would be the joint regression target this time, would he forget all his memories from the past few months?
He had gathered a lot of different information, and he had finally realized he liked this guy. It was regrettable that he would forget those feelings again.
‘But, can a dead person also be designated as a regression target?’
With that brief curiosity as his final thought, his heart slowly stopped. His vision went dark, and the sensation of holding the hand disappeared.
“Don’t do this, Lee Hwan, no…”
But his hearing remained alive until the very end, allowing Lee Hwan to listen to someone’s animalistic wailing for quite a while.
Finally, the world darkened…
* * *
– ♪♬♩♪
March 8, 2022, 10:50 AM.
At the sound of the alarm, Lee Hwan opened his eyes.
