The child, relieved from the burdensome task, clung to the counselor’s waist as if rushing toward him. The counselor he’d only met a few days ago was more comfortable than Lorenz. Since he hadn’t hoped to be embraced, Lorenz gestured toward the man to continue the counseling.
The man who sat on the carpet with the child picked up a colored pencil. On the table, various drawing tools were scattered along with the colored pencils.
“Lucas likes trees and flowers, and animals.”
At the counselor’s words, the child nodded vigorously.
“I like them too. When I look at trees, flowers, and animals, I feel at ease. It also feels like I’ve gone on a picnic. Is Lucas like that too?”
This time the child agreed even more vigorously.
The child didn’t draw himself. He just sat close and watched the counselor’s drawing intently.
Previously, Lucas had enjoyed drawing like most children his age. However, when he stopped talking, he also stopped drawing. Yet he still seemed to like watching others draw.
To Lorenz standing at the door, the shape of the drawing couldn’t be seen clearly. But judging by the rough colors, it was probably something like a puppy playing on the grass.
The man talked while coloring the grass more deeply with a colored pencil.
“While Lucas was having his piano lesson today, I went to the park. There are so many puppies walking in Central Park. Has Lucas seen them before?”
The child suddenly hesitated to answer. Even though it was nothing, he couldn’t answer easily. Then he nodded very slightly, barely perceptibly.
“I see, Lucas has seen them before.”
The man responded with a voice as gentle as a May breeze.
And this time he took out his phone from his pocket and showed the screen to the child.
“Then do you want to see this? I also saw a squirrel today.”
The child couldn’t take his eyes off the screen the man showed him.
They weren’t eyes that were dead and empty. They clearly sparkled with interest. That was fortunate at least. Yet the child still had no intention of coming out of his silence.
Selective mutism.
The symptom that had started shortly before his father passed away was continuing to this day.
It wasn’t that he had lost the ability to speak. The pediatric psychiatrist explained that the child himself had decided not to speak. However, even the most competent doctor in the East couldn’t reveal the reason why the child had closed his mouth. Lorenz hadn’t heard the child’s voice for already 3-4 months.
The man, who had been alternating between green and brown colored pencils while coloring the picture, spoke lightly in a casual tone.
“I go for a walk in Central Park every day after work. I also ride my bike. If Lucas wants to go together, you’re always welcome.”
The child didn’t immediately refuse or become frightened. However, a sign of shrinking and hesitation could be glimpsed. More strength entered the small arms holding the rabbit doll.
The man stroked the child’s back to reassure him.
“It’s okay. I’m not saying let’s go now. Someday when Lucas wants to go, let’s go together then. That’s okay, right?”
The child, who blinked his eyelids a couple of times, moved his head minutely once again.
The man’s smile toward Lucas became a little warmer. As if that expression alone was enough. As if there was no need to push.
Lorenz looked at him, fully focused on the child. To that man, neither Margaret nor Lorenz standing at the door watching seemed to matter.
His soft and gentle tone, gaze, and expression. An affection that conveyed with his whole body the conviction that he wouldn’t hurt you in the slightest. It was an attitude Lorenz himself couldn’t even imitate. Not because he didn’t want to. He didn’t even know how to do it.
Since his father’s death, it was the first time he felt relieved. Hope seemed visible. As Margaret had said, it seemed they might be able to create good results with this counselor.
Was it because of that sense of relief? He felt his body recovering rapidly as the tension eased. Just moments ago, he had been extremely sensitive from the fatigue and headache of the business trip. The nausea that had been churning like motion sickness had also disappeared at some point.
Lorenz quietly withdrew from the room entrance. Margaret followed him out and closed the door.
“It doesn’t seem bad, does it?”
She asked happily, and Lorenz nodded in agreement. Walking slowly while looking down at the hallway floor without a word, he seemed absorbed in thought.
At the end of the hallway, Lorenz stepped onto the stairs leading to the 3rd floor.
He suddenly looked back at Margaret standing a couple of steps below.
“Let’s proceed with the interview as planned. You said 5 o’clock, right?”
Margaret looked up at Lorenz with a surprised face.
“Will you be alright?”
“My headache disappeared. And tomorrow, I think it’s better to go to work after lunch after all.”
Margaret showed a smile of relief.
Lorenz, who had climbed a couple of steps, stopped once again and looked down.
“How about inviting the counselor to dinner after the interview?”
Margaret smiled more satisfactorily.
“That’s a good idea.”
■
Strange.
His condition was wonderfully good to a strange degree.
For the past few months, Lorenz’s physical condition had clearly been heading toward the worst.
Yet after returning home, he had rapidly recovered, like a withering flower reviving vigorously after drinking up water.
Was the medication I took on the way from the airport finally taking effect?
That didn’t make sense either.
He had continued taking the same medication at his business trip destination, and it had no particular effect the whole time. Yet now, for the effect to appear after 3 nights and 4 days.
Lorenz, who had finished bathing, measured his pheromone response level.
PRL 35. It was a good number he hadn’t seen much of recently.
The PRL that had been approaching 70 when measured in the car on the way home had dropped to half in the meantime. 35 was within the normal range with no problems. So naturally his physical condition couldn’t help but be good.
He looked at his naked body in front of the mirror. Even though it was clearly his own body, his gaze thoroughly checked every corner of the body as if he had awakened in a stranger’s body, with fresh eyes.
Regardless of the illness he was suffering from, the body in the mirror seemed to have no problems on the surface. Far from having problems, it looked bigger, harder, and stronger than anyone else’s.
Since being diagnosed with <that disease>, through the growth period and into adulthood until now. The symptoms had steadily worsened. Headaches and nausea, and the nerves that had become sensitive because of them were now nothing special to him, just daily life.
Yet to be this refreshed and fine.
It felt like I could do anything, achieve anything.
The headache that had followed him for months with only differences in intensity had disappeared without a trace. There were also no symptoms of extreme sensitivity to all kinds of smells, not just pheromones, that had made his stomach churn. As a result, his sharp nerves had also become comfortable. He was perfectly fine like a healthy person suffering from no disease.
Lorenz, looking at the face in the mirror that didn’t look tired at all, suddenly pulled his lips into a brief smile.
I was too surprised and didn’t hear his name properly. But the sound suited his appearance. A name like the golden sun that shines on all things fairly and warmly.
Once again, a satisfied smile escaped his lips.
Isn’t it an amazing coincidence?
8:43 AM. East 46th Street.
Even at his business trip destination, whenever he had free time, he had thought of that man.
If he were just a pretty person, Lorenz had seen enough to be sick of them. Of course, that man’s appearance was overwhelmingly exceptional. So much so that it couldn’t be hidden at all by plain clothes and a helmet or such.
But Lorenz wasn’t the type to be curious about someone just because their appearance was beautiful. If he were, he too would have been causing numerous scandals that the media would love, like Joshua, until now.
The reason that man remained in his mind wasn’t just his appearance. People with flawless appearances tended to have vague impressions instead. Impressions come from individuality, and individuality mostly comes from flaws. However, in that man’s eyes and expression, layers of soft emotions could be felt. That made Lorenz curious. What kind of person is he? What kind of story does he have, to look both warm and lonely despite that beauty?
Lorenz didn’t usually perceive people that way. Only human needs and usefulness were the standards of value judgment. Because this was unusual, rather than feeling excitement about this curiosity, he found it annoying and bothersome. He considered it an unnecessary waste of emotion.
That was why he had decided to visit the same place at the same time as soon as he returned to New York. If he saw him one more time, he would realize this curiosity was just a random whim of emotion, and then he could feel refreshed and cleanly cut it off.
But when he finished his business trip and returned home, that very person was waiting in his house. How could that not be called exquisite? Thanks to that, he didn’t need to leave home early tomorrow morning.
Lorenz, who had been absorbed in thought while rubbing his lower jaw widely, soon left the mirror. A faint trace of a smile still remained on his face.
