“It’s okay. Oppa is okay…… Thank you.”
Seeing him refer to himself as ‘oppa,’ it seemed he thought the person next to him was his younger sister. Go Woojae really cherished his younger sister. He knew that, he understood it, but it didn’t make him feel good. Tell me thank you. Tell ME. Spiteful thoughts kept trying to force their way past his lips and materialize into reality.
“I’m cold……”
The jealousy that had been surging unpredictably melted away with those words. Sajun felt deeply responsible for Woojae feeling cold and tucked the blanket snugly around him, massaging his cold hands. Recalling something he’d seen somewhere, he dampened a towel with water and placed it on his forehead.
Because it was a liquid medication, the effects were appearing quickly. Sajun simply gazed at Go Woojae, who was breathing much more comfortably now, for quite some time. It was his first experience taking care of someone who had fallen ill.
***
When was it? It was after an incredibly exhausting week. The reason he’d been more tired than usual was simple. He’d crammed two days’ worth of work into one day so he could take a day off from his part-time job.
The next day was the first birthday after the accident. Woojae wanted to comfort his younger sister. He didn’t want to make her spend her birthday lonely just because they’d lost their parents. He wanted to spend at least one day for his sister. She was the only family he had left in the world.
- I added a little extra. Rest well tomorrow and buy something delicious to eat with your sister.
- Thank you.
Concern was written all over the face of the boss handing him the envelope with his daily wage. He seemed worried about his young, diligent part-timer.
Should I buy a cake? Woojae clutched the envelope and headed home with a joyful heart. He arrived just before the bakery closed and bought a fresh cream cake topped with strawberries that Nari loved.
- Oppa’s home?
- You didn’t turn on the boiler again?
- It’s not that cold…… I’m fine.
That year was so cold even though it was April. His young sister, who had been lying on the freezing cold floor doing homework, greeted him. He noticed the blanket she’d clearly been wrapped in just moments ago.
With drafts coming in, the already cold house was unbearably chilly. Woojae suppressed his distressed feelings and hurriedly turned on the boiler before grabbing his sister’s hand. His eyes reddened at her body temperature, which was no different from his own despite having just come from outside.
- You should keep yourself warm. What if you catch a cold?
- No, I’m fine. I was alone anyway.
He felt sorry for his sister who had grown up so much at such a young age. No matter how carefully he tried to take care of her, there were still inadequate parts. Her clothes looked worn out. His own were in no better condition, but he and Nari were different. She was such a small and delicate younger sister. He felt suffocated with worry that she might be bullied at school.
- Oppa bought you a cake.
That seemed to cheer her up a bit. But soon he noticed worry appearing on her face rather than joy.
- This is expensive.
- Why are you worrying about money!
His heart felt like it was tearing at his unintentionally raised voice. Woojae pulled his younger sister, who was a hand’s width shorter than him, into his arms. Even though she wasn’t crying, he whispered, “I’m sorry, oppa’s sorry. Don’t cry.”
Nari nodded silently as if she’d forgotten how to cry. On the day they’d decided to share the cake together, Woojae ended up falling ill. Perhaps it was an inevitable result. His sister, who didn’t know how to make porridge, had fed her sick oppa cake cream.
It kept gnawing at him that he couldn’t take care of this birthday himself. A bitter smile emerged at the damp towel touching his forehead.
Woojae reached out and grasped the hand of the person sitting beside him. It was a hot, large hand. When he grabbed it, it hesitated for a moment before gripping back with strangely strong force.
It didn’t take long for his consciousness to return. The last time he’d held Nari’s hand, it had been much smaller and softer than this. It hadn’t been this hot either. Despite being half-asleep, his brow furrowed in puzzlement.
“Lip thief, how long are you going to be sick?”
“……What.”
The now-familiar low voice threw out a question. It was a reflexive answer, but as if bursting open something he’d been holding back, Gye Sajun started saying strange things to him.
“The word ‘oppa’ must be stuck in your mouth. If you were as kind to other people as you are devoted to your sister, the situation would improve a lot.”
“What the hell are you talking about.”
“Or did you have a girlfriend? A younger one? That could be it. If you have a girlfriend, you’d better break up quickly. Because I’ll go and expose that your boyfriend kissed me, another man. You lip thief.”
Woojae had to face Gye Sajun spouting nonsense with a rigid expression before he could even check where he was. What kind of nickname was ‘lip thief’ anyway? But as soon as he realized that word was referring to him, the fever that had subsided began to surge again.
“Wh-what the hell are you talking about!”
“You kissed me first. Me.”
“Hey, that was, that waaas……!”
It was a situation that jolted him fully awake. Now that he looked, this wasn’t even his room. Woojae sat bolt upright in bed, looking outside where it had already grown dark. The damp towel fell off with a thud. Today had been exam day, but his memory was spotty and fragmented. The first thing he recalled was being terribly sick. His hands started trembling with worry about whether he’d even taken it properly. Gye Sajun firmly grabbed Woojae’s hands.
“Hey, today……”
“You did well on the exam. I heard Teaching Assistant Im talking about it, so don’t worry. And don’t make excuses about the kiss. Just……”
Gye Sajun, who figured out what he was most worried about and gave him the answer, was unfamiliar and awkward. Woojae felt his sunken heart return to its proper place and silently stared at his face, which somehow looked dejected. In the darkness with not a single light turned on, the face he gazed at relying on the light coming from outside looked forlorn.
“Just what……”
When Woojae couldn’t bear the silence and urged him on, Gye Sajun’s black eyes that had been subdued sparkled like stars. And from his thin lips flowed an unexpected line.
“You just have to take responsibility.”
The victim who claimed to have had his lips stolen transformed into a judge’s face and declared to Woojae like a verdict. Even in the darkness, Gye Sajun’s vividly flushed ears were clearly imprinted in Woojae’s eyes. His body moved faster than his head. When he reached out and touched the reddened ear, he felt the warm body temperature.
Gye Sajun’s eyes, faintly tinged with grievance and resentment, swept over Woojae. If his perception wasn’t wrong, that was probably a confession. Woojae finally realized that he’d been touching Gye Sajun’s ear with his dazed mind, but it was already too late.
***
“I, I need time to……”
“…….”
“…… think.”
Even he thought it was the most idiotic-sounding voice in the world. The moment Woojae spoke, he contorted his face, unable to understand himself for saying such a thing. As if that sight wasn’t particularly pleasant to see, Gye Sajun, who had been staring at him intently, also started blinking.
His body, now free of fever, felt much lighter, but the aftereffects of the heat-induced cold still remained. Woojae ran his tongue over his dry lips and unconsciously exhaled the breath he’d been holding. The moment he recognized it as a confession, he’d removed his hand from Gye Sajun’s ear, but that strange sensation still lingered at his fingertips.
I think this is the first time I’ve touched someone else’s ear. The feeling of the softer-than-expected skin and cartilage was vivid. Gye Sajun looked directly at Woojae in the darkness and quietly asked.
“How long?”
He was the one who said he needed time to think, but that didn’t mean it was a conclusion drawn from serious contemplation. Therefore, he couldn’t gauge how much time he would need.
In the first place, the thing I would normally do is yell that I can’t take responsibility and run away, so why the hell did I spout this bullshit about needing time to think? Woojae couldn’t hide his tearful expression and randomly set a period.
“O-o-o-one month!”
It was a stupid conversation. Between two guys, what the hell was this goosebump-inducing scene? Woojae deliberately ignored the past where he’d dreamed for days on end about getting to the point just before kissing that bastard, and going beyond that, attempting to kiss in reality and thoroughly mixing tongues. He himself couldn’t easily assess the situation due to his own unfamiliar behavior.
“One month?”
“Y-yeah.”
“……You’ll at least think about it, right.”
Gye Sajun seemed dissatisfied with something but soon pulled up the corners of his mouth that he’d been keeping rigid and suddenly even climbed onto the bed. Woojae instinctively backed away and bumped his back against the wall. No matter how rich this school was and how the dormitory was built with money thrown at it, making even single beds spacious, it was too much for two grown men to climb onto. Realizing the distance between them was less than 10cm, Woojae held his breath and urgently reached out to push Gye Sajun away.
“Huh? Fuck, wait. Don’t come closer!”
“Why? If I want that ‘thinking’ you’re going to do to conclude in my favor, I feel like I need to make active efforts starting now.”
“Haven’t you thought about it backfiring?! Eek!”
Gye Sajun cleverly grabbed and yanked the hand Woojae was using to push him away. Thanks to that, Woojae, who ended up falling on top of him once again, let out a high-pitched scream. Woojae had to turn pale at his body temperature, which was much higher than his own despite having been groaning in pain just moments ago.
The embrace that held him tightly was unfamiliar and hot. Being ruthlessly held by someone bigger than himself wasn’t something Woojae was used to. Gye Sajun pulled Woojae’s waist close as he struggled weakly and laid down on the bed.
“I’ll just hold your hand while we sleep.”
