Seeing me hesitate about whether I could go to his side, he blatantly pulled out a chair to create space for me to sit. Although we’d been spending a lot of time together lately, there were always reasons for that. Since we hadn’t been together like this without any reason, it felt a bit awkward now. Still, I couldn’t ignore his invitation, so I carefully went to the seat next to him.
Cha Juheon, wearing a comfortable short-sleeved t-shirt, had his hair down and wasn’t wearing a mask—he looked very comfortable. There were no masks or gloves visible anywhere on the table. I kept worrying whether I’d interrupted his comfortable time.
“Executive Director, why aren’t you sleeping at this hour?”
As I carefully sat next to him, I spoke first to break the awkwardness.
“I was looking at work because I couldn’t finish it.”
“You’re busy, but didn’t taking me to the hospital interfere with your work?”
It was a thoughtless remark, but an answer came back that made me feel sorry. He himself was nonchalantly organizing the documents on the table. Since I’d been unwell and frequently going to the hospital lately, Cha Juheon must have been carving out time from his busy schedule to move around. Realizing this only now, I felt sorry again.
“No. I don’t normally sleep at this hour and work instead. I like this time because it’s quiet and I can concentrate well on work.”
Perhaps sensing that I felt sorry, he quietly added those words. Those words probably weren’t lies, but it was true that he’d lost some time because of me.
“Are you very busy?”
“Almost finished. It was just work that needed document review.”
I pointlessly looked at his documents placed on the table. Inside the many documents—I didn’t even know how many pages—were words in English densely packed. Looking at things like this even at home must give him a headache.
“Executive Director, do you still have a headache?”
“Hm? Ah, don’t worry about it. I live with migraines, so I’m used to it. I took medicine.”
Headaches are really troublesome when they happen occasionally, but he lives with them? If it hurts even after taking medicine, isn’t that severe?
“Executive Director, if you massage here like this, it’s good for headaches.”
I’d suffered from shoulder pain and headaches when I played piano. So I tried all sorts of methods, and when I massaged the muscles on the side of my neck, it got much better. So I pressed that area and taught Cha Juheon the method.
Well, but doesn’t he already know this? Cha Juheon was staring intently at me as I pressed my neck diligently while explaining. Why is he looking at me like that again? What’s strange now…
“Haha, this method is a bit like that, isn’t it? You must take good medicine.”
Feeling embarrassed by Cha Juheon who was just staring at me without any reaction, I slipped my hand down from massaging my neck.
“No. It seems like a good method. This side?”
He placed his hand on his neck and asked me. I thought he was ignoring it since there was no reaction, but he started massaging his own neck.
“Ah, not there, more to the side…”
Whether understanding words had nothing to do with being smart, Cha Juheon kept touching the wrong places. That’s not it, but I can’t show him with my own hand…
“Strangely, I don’t know? Eunwoo, can you find the spot for me?”
Cha Juheon requested my help, saying he didn’t know where to massage. His tone didn’t sound like he didn’t know at all, though. Anyway, since I was the one who started this conversation, I couldn’t ignore his request for help.
“…Yes? Ah! I will. It’s this side.”
“I don’t know like that. Eunwoo, press it with your hand.”
“What? Then, just a moment. I’ll quickly get gloves.”
So he meant for me to find the spot directly with my hand? I might make him have a fit and collapse if I touched his neck with bare hands, so I tried to get up to find disposable gloves at least. Then Cha Juheon stopped me from getting up.
“It’s fine. You can just press it.”
For someone who didn’t know, his eyes were quite bright, but I thought it was because he was expecting the massage effect. Also, I felt it again this time, but Cha Juheon was quite generous with me.
Of course there was a reason this time too, but seeing how he readily allowed me to touch his body and how he sat next to me talking without a mask like this, he really seemed to be a person with great consideration. No matter how much it was because of the baby, he must have innate patience that was exceptional, so perhaps he was able to overcome his germaphobia and show consideration?
“What are you doing? I said it’s fine.”
Cha Juheon began to press me slightly. Coming to my senses with a start, I focused on his neck. Even with permission, I hesitated to touch him carelessly, then carefully pressed his neck muscle firmly.
“Ah!”
The moment I pressed his neck, a short scream burst from Cha Juheon’s mouth. It wasn’t exaggerated enough to call it a scream, but I couldn’t help but be surprised at his sensitive reaction anyway.
“S-see! You don’t like it, right?”
Was it dirty after all? I got scared in advance that Cha Juheon might have a fit and stepped back.
“…Your hands are extremely cold. What’s wrong?”
“What?”
“Why are your hands so cold? Is there something wrong?”
“…Ha, no. My hands and feet are naturally a bit cold. There’s no other problem, right?”
“What other problem is there besides your hands being that cold? I was surprised. Go to the hospital right away tomorrow.”
I didn’t know whether to be relieved that it wasn’t because I was dirty, but Cha Juheon was making a fuss in a different sense. But does this person not even know what poor circulation is? Well, he’s never had contact with people in his life, so this would be a first for him too.
My hands are very cold. It’s just my constitution. My mother, who suffered from the heat sensation of burns, slept well when my hands touched her because it was cool, so they must have been quite cold. But this is just my constitution, so there’s no need to go to the hospital. He must have said to go to the hospital because he was worried about the baby again, right?
“You understand, right? As soon as day breaks, to the hospital—ah!”
As Cha Juheon’s fuss continued, I just grabbed his neck with my palm. He showed movement close to struggling at the sudden cold.
“It’s not something to go to the hospital for. I like that your skin is warm, Executive Director. I’ll warm my hands with this.”
Out of some mischief, I firmly pressed the neck of someone who said he was struggling with a headache with my cold hands. Cha Juheon’s body, which had been flinching and twisting several times, gradually became docile. And the neck muscles that had been hard from tension also softened.
I took his reaction as positive and massaged his neck with a bit of force. I touched his neck, which had become docile, for a while. Cha Juheon willingly accepted the massage as if my touch wasn’t unpleasant or dirty. His large back sitting obediently and doing as I told him looked a bit cute.
“…It really is refreshing.”
“Really? Then that’s good!”
“Thank you. It’s the first time I’ve received help in this way when my body hurt.”
I couldn’t see his expression since his back was turned, but I could feel gratitude contained in his calm tone.
“I’ve felt this before, but Eunwoo seems quite caring.”
“…Me?”
“Yes, like lending me clothes at the cafe, and this and that.”
Cafe? Ah, he’s talking about when I lent him clothes so he could lean comfortably against the wall? I rather thought it was fortunate that he accepted me well, but I didn’t know Cha Juheon was grateful for that.
“I’m the one who’s fortunate. That you’re receiving the massage well without fainting, Executive Director.”
At my words mixed with laughter, Cha Juheon’s shoulders also moved slightly. Did he just laugh?
“…I’m surprised too. In many ways. I can ask you again when I have a headache. I’m fortunate. This situation is truly surprising. It’s fine now, so Eunwoo, hurry and go up to sleep.”
“Then, just ten more times.”
I didn’t know if he was surprised that he didn’t faint or surprised that the massage was effective, but Cha Juheon repeated that he was surprised, and before even ten times were up, he said it was fine now and sent me up to my room.
I lay still in bed and looked at my hands. My hands were still warm, and perhaps because I felt the warmth coming from Cha Juheon, I felt like we’d gotten a little closer as humans, not just because of the contract.
***
After the meeting ended, the moment Juheon got up from his seat, he picked up his phone. After roughly listening to his secretary reporting the next schedule, Juheon hurriedly called somewhere.
“Yes, ma’am. Did that person eat lunch well? And the workers from the company arrived, have they started work?”
—Of course. He ate lunch well and had snacks too. He left a little bit of the snacks. The company arrived about an hour ago and they’re working hard. Eunwoo is standing at the window watching them right now.
“Really? He’s not unable to rest because the work is too loud, is he?”
He’s watching the work, so he must be curious about many things. The soundproofing in the house was very good, but he worried whether it might be noisy since he was a person with sensitive ears.
—Oh my, not at all. He looks very happy. When I told him people came to work on the tree, his eyes sparkled and I can’t tell you how happy he was. I gave him a chair, but he keeps standing and watching.
Imagining Eunwoo stuck to the living room window looking at the garden, Juheon’s expression relaxed as if he was relieved.
“Just leave him as he’s comfortable. It’s good if he looks happy. He’s been eating sweet things well lately, so ma’am, please pay attention to things like snacks. And it hasn’t been long since that person was discharged from the hospital, so his body hasn’t recovered yet. Please look after him carefully so he’s not physically uncomfortable. I’m asking you.”
—Of course. That’s my job. I’m taking good care of him, so don’t worry about anything here and go about your work.
Juheon, who finished the call after repeated requests, finally moved quickly as if relieved. Juheon was continuously in contact with Eunwoo several times a day like this, and separately received news of Eunwoo’s well-being through the housekeeper who managed the house. She was someone who had been with Juheon from the moment he became independent and was one of the few people Juheon trusted.
He believed she would take care of Eunwoo, who had a slightly clumsy side, more carefully than anyone. Thanks to her presence, Juheon could bring Eunwoo home with peace of mind. Anyway, he’d selected a reliable company and told them to start decorating, so he was curious about how the work was going.
By company, it meant a company that decorated Juheon’s house garden and inside with Christmas decorations. Juheon, who had no interest in Christmas whatsoever, called them starting from Eunwoo’s careful question yesterday morning.
‘Executive Director. Can I decorate a small Christmas tree in my room? Not a big one.’
‘…Christmas tree decoration?’
Since Juheon had never been interested in Christmas decorations or the specialness of that day in his life, Eunwoo’s request was a bit unfamiliar. Eunwoo, reading Juheon’s reaction, fidgeted with his hands and asked in a small voice.
‘I always wanted to do it, and I really wanted to decorate this year. But I suddenly came to your place, Executive Director. Um, I’ll decorate it small just in my room so it won’t bother you. I just want to feel the Christmas spirit.’
He had no intention of refusing Eunwoo’s request in the first place, but seeing his sparkling eyes, Juheon became interested too. He likes that kind of thing? Well, he’s at that age.
‘If you don’t have anything in mind, people will come to decorate trees in the garden and living room, so let’s have them work on the second-floor living room and bedroom together. Would that be okay?’
‘Really?’
No. Of course not. He didn’t know what kind of impulsive action this was, but those words were all lies. He had no plan, heart, or thought of calling such a company in the first place. This was literally a lie that popped out in the moment.
That’s because, except for managers who came in and out periodically, no one entered Juheon’s house. Moreover, even those managers only came to work when Juheon wasn’t home.
Strangers entering the house was a terrible thing he’d never even imagined. But people to decorate trees… Juheon, for the first time in his life, with his own mouth, performed the eccentric act of calling strangers into his house.
On one hand he was so flustered with himself, while on the other he was even thinking the surprising thought that it would be okay to do this once in a lifetime. The unfamiliar thought that it wouldn’t be bad if they installed it while he wasn’t home.
But since Eunwoo wanted it, there was no reason he couldn’t call them. If he did what he wanted, it would surely help with prenatal care. So if Eunwoo was satisfied with the result, there was nothing to lose.
But actually, Juheon’s behavior like this wasn’t entirely because of the baby. These days when he had headaches, Eunwoo massaged his neck, so he also wanted to repay him. Actually, it wasn’t because of the massage but because the headache disappeared from Eunwoo’s pheromones subtly flowing out, but…
Anyway, it wasn’t necessarily because of the baby, he just wanted to repay him in this way out of gratitude. The visit of strangers that he couldn’t have imagined before wasn’t something he couldn’t endure. After finishing the Christmas decoration work, he could just call a disinfection company and disinfect for several days.
Christmas was about a month away, and during that time, if he let Eunwoo see Christmas trees and decorations until he was sick of them, he felt like he himself would be satisfied too. And these days, there was a phrase that automatically came to mind when he thought of Eunwoo.
‘Thank you for bringing me to the hospital, Executive Director.’
Those words Eunwoo said to him at the hospital. After receiving that sudden thanks, Juheon often remembered that day like this. He couldn’t forget the emotion of that moment when he heard those words. Eunwoo’s face was full of sincerity, and Juheon couldn’t manage his expression. His heart fluttered because Eunwoo thanked him for something so natural.
‘I’m just really grateful. It’s the first time anyone’s taken care of me when I was sick since my dad passed away. When I was sick, I always took medicine alone and went to the hospital alone. The situation was such that it couldn’t be helped. When I was severely sick and didn’t even have the energy to move, there were many times I couldn’t take medicine or go to the hospital… so I’m really grateful that you brought me directly to the hospital and stayed by my side the whole time.’
He was only 23 years old, but from an even younger age, Eunwoo had handled everything alone. His role as head of household and even situations when his body was sick. Therefore, he couldn’t lightly listen and pass over the greeting handed over with a bright face as if it was nothing.
What was so great about bringing him to the hospital that he was so grateful? He felt uncomfortable thinking about Eunwoo’s past struggles. So while they were together, he wanted to take care of him so he wouldn’t struggle alone when sick. And after childbirth when he’d be alone again…
“…But even then it will be different from the past. I’ve taken care of him enough that he won’t suffer like that in the future, so it won’t be that hard now. Seeing his mother’s recovery process, she’s fine too…”
Eunwoo would surely be fine. He’d taken care of him enough that he could play for a lifetime without any problem, so from now on there would be no times when he couldn’t go to the hospital or was sick alone. Days where he could study what he wanted and enjoy himself with his peers while living leisurely remained. But when he thought of such things, his heart strangely felt empty.
***
“Wow, this is really amazing.”
This is the phrase I say most often these days since entering this house. Really amazing. Because it was literally truly amazing. Cha Juheon’s house was entirely Christmas itself. Even the cafe where I work part-time playing music isn’t decorated like this.
Not to mention the large tree, every tree had twinkling lights and sparkling large sculptures that were splendid like a photo zone. The garden decorated gorgeously and excitingly, and in contrast, the interior with elegant and luxurious decorations pleased the eyes with different fun.
“I’ve only seen trees like this at festival sites or department stores… it’s a different dimension from what I crudely made. Really, a professional’s touch is different in everything.”
I was busy appreciating the work born from Cha Juheon’s wallet with my hands neatly clasped on my chest. I was newly feeling his wealth through things like this. Actually, saying I’d buy a tree was to relieve momentary stress.
I always wanted to decorate a tree, but it wasn’t supposed to be this year. With the sudden childbirth preparation and starting to freeload at someone else’s house, I knew better than anyone that it was impossible. But the day before yesterday, a group email came saying there would be a high school alumni gathering.
It was content saying they missed everyone, and since several of the friends who went abroad to study were briefly coming to Korea, they should definitely attend and at least see each other’s faces. In that list, I saw Gyuho’s name. I didn’t know the reason, but as Gyumin hyung said, it seemed Gyuho was indeed coming to Korea.
The moment I saw that email—no, the moment I saw Kang Gyuho’s name—stress rushed in and my hands trembled. Why does those three characters of his name torment me like this lately… I could just not go to the alumni gathering. Kang Gyuho probably wasn’t coming out because of me, and also with my current situation, if I didn’t wander around alone, the probability of meeting Kang Gyuho separately was low.
I’ll hide tightly in Cha Juheon’s house until childbirth. Even if Kang Gyuho comes to Korea and thinks of me, there’s no way to contact me since he doesn’t know my phone number. Kang Gyuho will play well in his own way and return to America within that time, so I can slowly forget again like that.
The problem is that right now it’s scratching my insides and giving me stress. So I said I’d decorate a tree to do something and forget, and it coincided with Cha Juheon’s plan, so I got to see something this wonderful. I’m grateful, really. The company even gave me a Rudolph doll as a gift, telling me to decorate it wherever I liked, so I should hang it on the tree while waiting for Cha Juheon.
Having always lived alone, having someone to wait for isn’t so bad. It also feels strange that there’s someone other than me who will enter this house where I am. Of course I’m the guest, but Cha Juheon wasn’t that uncomfortable either.
Various thoughts rushed in and I became lost in thought while blankly looking at the tree. After sitting in the garden for a while appreciating Cha Juheon’s wealth, I went inside the house. Perhaps because there was a tree shining in golden light inside the house, the entire living room was glowing warmly and my mood became warm again too.
I was hanging the Rudolph doll and several decorations on appropriate places on the tree when I heard a presence from the living room hallway. It was the sound of Cha Juheon entering. That sound of footsteps at regular intervals was strangely welcome. Was it because I was stressed because of Kang Gyuho? Cha Juheon’s presence came to me as quite a great welcome. Holding the doll in my hand, I ran toward him without realizing it.
“Executive Director!”
Whether it was because I suddenly ran out or because I suddenly called him in a loud voice and surprised him, I could see his masked eyes widen in surprise. But despite his surprise, I didn’t mind and brightly smiled while welcoming him. Perhaps because time spent with Cha Juheon had increased a bit lately, he felt more welcome and comfortable than before. Enough that I secretly waited for his time to come home from work.
“Executive Director, you’re home?”
Cha Juheon seemed to have been dazzled by the lights of the splendid decorations and tree illumination pouring through the living room window behind me. Without responding to my greeting, he blinked his eyes wide and looked at me quietly. And soon his eyes curved gently.
“Yes, I’m home.”
Cha Juheon’s voice was strangely gentle and caring. That warm voice resonated in my chest.
