For a moment, I couldn’t recognize who the man calling my name was. But soon I was able to remember who he was. As I recalled the person I had forgotten, flustered feelings rushed in at the same time.
The closer the man came to me, the more my body stiffened by the distance he approached. How do I run into this person here? I had to try quite hard not to show how messed up I was by this uncomfortable coincidence.
“Wow, it really is you, Eunwoo, right? How do we meet here of all places? Good to see you!”
“Gyumin hyung…”
Kang Gyumin. Gyuho’s eldest brother with a four-year age gap. How could such a coincidence happen? I slowly stood up from my seat and faced him, unwelcome as he was.
Gyumin hyung had already moved out by the time I entered their family home, so there weren’t many occasions to run into him. Maybe I’d see him briefly on weekends? Even that was rare since I was hardly ever home. But he was one of the most uncomfortable people, along with Gyuho’s father.
He wasn’t someone who gave me attitude openly like his father or youngest brother. More like a feeling that made only me uncomfortable? The arrogant expression full of superiority and the pitying gaze as if looking at someone weak that came out when dealing with me was what made me uncomfortable.
Apart from that, we were close to indifferent to each other, but Gyuho relied on this hyung quite a bit, so he couldn’t help but be uncomfortable in various ways. He must have heard a lot about me through Gyuho. After I left that house, I briefly saw him around high school graduation, so this really was a reunion after a long time.
“…Hello. Have you been well? How do we meet here? It’s surprising…. But what brings you here?”
I forced my frozen facial muscles to move and barely managed to create a smile.
“Ah, I came today for a seminar. Conferences and training meetings like that are held here often.”
A seminar? Right, this hyung was a doctor too. I knew from hearing about it that doctor gatherings were frequently held here since this was such a large hospital. Even so, I hadn’t expected to run into him face-to-face like this. I tried to force the corners of my mouth up as I looked at the hyung I hadn’t seen in a long time. Whether he knew my feelings or was pretending not to, he asked about my well-being far too nonchalantly.
“I should be the one asking what brings you here. I came for work, but what brings Eunwoo to the hospital? And not just any hospital, but a tertiary hospital…. Are you sick somewhere? Or is your mother unwell?”
I shook my head at him asking in a seemingly surprised tone and made vague excuses.
“No. Sick? I’m here to meet someone.”
“Here?”
Seeing his genuinely surprised expression, I regretted not making up a different excuse. To a doctor hyung, saying I was meeting someone at a tertiary hospital—and the largest one at that—would naturally make him think of a patient. Then, knowing my situation, he would naturally think of my mom.
I worried whether I’d created gossip that would spread here and there. Plus, I didn’t particularly want to talk about personal matters and didn’t want to make him speculate about unnecessary things, so I quickly changed the subject.
“Yes. It’s a personal matter. But hyung, you still look well.”
My words, delivered while avoiding eye contact, must have been too formal because he let out a short laugh. It seems he noticed I didn’t want to chat in detail.
“Look well? I’m exhausted with fatigue. Anyway, even though we had different class years, we went to the same university but I never saw your face once on campus. Did you graduate?”
“Our majors were different and the campus was so big. And I haven’t graduated yet. I took a leave of absence.”
“…A leave of absence?”
When the words “leave of absence” came out, hyung’s eyes widened slightly as if surprised. It would be surprising news that I took a leave from a school I desperately got into. And soon he began subtly questioning me as if searching. I now know well that these questions aren’t asked purely out of curiosity about me. This hyung really is the same as ever.
“I see. You must have had your reasons, but you’re not trying to do music again, are you?”
“It’s not that. And it’s not like anything big happened. I just wanted to rest for a bit. I wanted to be lazy too…”
“Ah, there are times like that. Taking a short break isn’t bad. You’ll figure it out yourself.”
It was a ridiculous excuse, but there was no reason to tell him that Mom’s health was bad and I couldn’t focus on my studies anymore. Then he’d obviously look at me with that pitying gaze again.
Your life is still the same. Nothing has changed, you’re still pitiful. Definitely those kinds of thoughts. In fact, my situation had gotten even worse than back then, leading me to the choice of surrogacy, but I didn’t want even a bit of it to reach the ears of people from this family. I couldn’t tell them because of the contract anyway.
“Ah, Eunwoo. Are you in contact with Gyuho?”
He knows better than anyone that I’m not, so why is he asking? The question with unclear intentions, asked cautiously as if testing me, is uncomfortable.
“…No. Not at all.”
I shook my head with a faint smile. Hyung wouldn’t have been unaware of the subtle feelings between Gyuho and me back then. Perhaps he’s asking to confirm my feelings precisely because he knows about those things.
“I didn’t even know Gyuho went to America back then. I only heard secondhand that he suddenly left.”
I recalled that day when Gyuho, who had been gradually distancing himself from me, suddenly disappeared. Even thinking back on it, it’s not a pleasant memory.
“Uh… that. The suddenly packed schedule was too busy. Right after failing to get into Korea University, there was no time to think about anything else. We had to move on to the next plan without delay. Eunwoo, you weren’t the only one who didn’t know Gyuho went to America. He left so suddenly that probably everyone didn’t know. It’s not just anything, it was a matter of the kid’s future.”
“Right.”
As if. Everyone among Gyuho’s other friends except me knew that he had left for America. Among the people around Gyuho, I was the only one who didn’t know he had gone to America.
Hyung’s effort in making excuses for his brother is truly tearjerking. But unfortunately, the person named Kang Gyuho is no longer important to me. He’s already a person of the past, so there won’t be any future entanglements.
“Gyuho is doing well. The plan changed a bit but he seems to be adapting well. He got into a pretty decent school and is majoring in biology. For getting into medical school, that side seems better. The medical education system is a bit different from here. He’s having diverse experiences, so he looks so good that not getting into Korea University’s medical school seems like a blessing. You were curious how he’s doing, right?”
Not at all. I literally have zero curiosity about how Kang Gyuho is doing in America. And here too, hyung’s strange way of speaking stands out. He’s doing so well in America that not getting into Korea University is a blessing?
Kang Gyuho didn’t not enter Korea University—he couldn’t enter it. He failed. The pretense of not admitting that and trying to package it nicely is still the same.
“Now Eunwoo should hurry and return to school and prepare for employment too. Your situation is difficult, so wouldn’t it be better to take care of yourself quickly? Still, the school has a name, so if you just work hard, you’ll get into a good company.”
In the words that sound like worry and advice, there’s still unnecessary pity toward me. I’m tired. It would be better to greet him appropriately and leave before I get more unpleasant.
“And Mom worries about you a lot. Why don’t you contact her sometimes? It’s really fortunate we met here. Will you give me your phone number?”
“…What?”
Uh… No, I don’t want to give that. I don’t want to get entangled with them again in the slightest. I can’t say I don’t have a phone when I obviously do… I don’t know how to refuse. Should I say the device broke so I don’t have one? I tried to think quickly to find the least awkward answer. But that’s when it happened.
“Eunwoo-ssi. You were here?”
An unexpectedly welcome voice came from behind me. When I quickly turned around at that voice, Cha Juheon was standing right behind me, looking at me. How welcome can he be?
“Did you wait long? I’m sorry for being late.”
Cha Juheon’s timing of appearance was too good. A smile instantly spread across my face, and I greeted him with the brightest smile I’d shown since meeting Cha Juheon. Cha Juheon, who had been quietly looking at me smiling at him, pulled up the mask hanging on his chin and covered that handsome face again. Thanks to that, I couldn’t tell what expression he had. Probably expressionless as usual.
“No. I didn’t wait long.”
“The examination ran late. I’m sorry. Let’s go quickly. You must be tired.”
Cha Juheon didn’t give even a glance to Gyumin hyung right in front of him, as if he wasn’t in his sight at all. Then he carefully wrapped around my back and turned his body without giving time to greet hyung.
“Wait, Eunwoo?”
Gyumin hyung, who had become a bit awkward due to Cha Juheon’s sudden appearance, called my name in confusion. Right. He would be flustered. Normally, even if they don’t know each other, a regular person would at least greet someone in front of them, not blatantly ignore them like this.
I was also a bit embarrassed by the situation and glanced up at Cha Juheon. But he didn’t seem to have any intention of greeting Gyumin hyung. Hyung hurriedly approached and called me while lightly grabbing my arm that had been turned by Cha Juheon, and Cha Juheon’s gaze turned sharp for a moment, as if displeased by the unfamiliar touch.
“Eunwoo, wait a moment. Gyuho will come to Korea soon. We should all meet then. Take this.”
Hyung, who had stopped us by grabbing my arm, slipped his business card into my hand. But before I could even touch the business card, Cha Juheon picked up the card with two fingers as if grabbing something dirty.
In that awkward state, he briefly looked at the writing on the card, then placed the paper on the table next to us as if throwing it. Then he took out hand sanitizer from his bag. Why is he suddenly taking that out now?
“Executive Director-nim?”
Without a moment’s hesitation, Cha Juheon began spraying hand sanitizer on my arm and the surrounding area.
