The first person to kick back their chair and leave was Yeonjin.
“Fuck…”
A faint curse that made one wonder who it was directed at echoed so quietly that one might think, “Was that my imagination?”
When those sitting close to Yeonjin were wondering in their heads, “Did she really just say fuck? To whom?”, Muncheol cleared his throat with a “Ahem” and stood up from his seat.
“Well then, everyone have a good night. Ahem….”
Then he hurriedly disappeared into the building as if following Yeonjin. As soon as the two people who had been creating the most hostile atmosphere got up, the rest of the people also busily tidied up their seats.
Even in this suffocating atmosphere, interviews had to be conducted. While everyone was watching each other, not knowing what to say, Sungjin’s name was called first.
“Yoon Sungjin-ssi, please come down to the interview room right away.”
Even if others didn’t know, Sungjin seemed to know why he was called first. A participant who had received hearts from at most two people during the last selection had suddenly received hearts from four people, so they’d want to ask what happened in between and ask him to tell them how he felt.
Sungjin’s honest feelings were, “Why on earth are you doing this to me?”
He really didn’t know the reason. That was the scariest part. He wasn’t someone who could exude charm without any interaction with anyone, so where on earth did those four come from? Unless several people had mistakenly pressed the wrong button by mistake, he couldn’t understand it at all.
One might be from Yunchae, his date partner, who might have felt sorry for him getting hurt because of her. Another one might possibly be from Suyeong. Then what on earth are the remaining two? Just thinking about it made his head complicated.
Sungjin desperately suppressed his expression to hide his troubled mind and entered the interview room following the staff. When he sat in a chair with a screen behind him and faced the camera, his heart pounded even more. Of course, it was naturally a trembling with negative meaning.
“……”
Sungjin barely pulled the corners of his mouth to smile with a soulless face.
“Shall we start?”
“Yes.”
Since he couldn’t run away, he had to endure it. The assistant director, who seemed to be on duty today, smiled and began with the prepared questions.
“You received the most hearts among all the participants today. Did you expect this kind of result?”
Sungjin answered without a moment’s hesitation.
“No. Not at all.”
It was sincere. Far from four people, he hadn’t even expected to receive one from Yunchae, his date partner, but suddenly four people? Sungjin rather wanted to ask what on earth this was all about.
“Actually, I’m a bit dazed. I didn’t actively interact with anyone other than Yunchae-ssi today…. I’m very sorry, but I don’t really know who gave them to me right now either, haha….”
This kind of answer probably wouldn’t look very desirable to viewers either, but it couldn’t be helped. Between being misunderstood as someone who went around hitting on anyone like a playboy behind the scenes, and being unaware of whom he unconsciously seduced, the latter was at least better.
To others, the former and the latter might be six of one, half a dozen of the other, but Sungjin wanted to choose the latter at least.
“Haha. People’s hearts don’t necessarily need a special trigger to be drawn.”
The assistant director left a wise comment on Sungjin’s foolish answer. It was correct. It’s just that the current Sungjin found it hard to empathize.
What on earth had happened among the other participants? It didn’t seem like Yeonjin would have cursed for no reason. Unless he asked the person directly, it was a mystery Sungjin couldn’t solve on his own.
“Anyway, how do you feel? At least for tonight, Sungjin-ssi has been selected as the most popular cast member.”
The assistant director was smiling brightly with a happy face. However, Sungjin wasn’t happy at all. Rather, he was troubled. Since he didn’t know who had chosen him with what intention, all of this felt like a trap to put him in a predicament.
……
After his appearance changed, Sungjin had won the favor of many people. However, there wasn’t a single moment when he accepted that attention pleasantly. After all, they were people who only liked the plausible exterior he was putting on. If he neglected his maintenance even a little or they found out he actually had a much gloomier personality and was a loser, everyone would run away.
Because of the long time spent not being accepted by others, and even being treated as an embarrassing burden to show to others by his own family, he couldn’t purely accept others’ favor. Even if it was pathetic victim mentality, it couldn’t be helped.
When someone said they liked him, rather than being happy, he was afraid. This person will eventually be disappointed and leave when they find out my real self. He was scared of how much that process of disappointing them would hurt him. So naturally, there was no way he’d be happy now either.
Sungjin slightly bit his lip in a way that wasn’t outwardly visible, then answered.
“I’m somewhat embarrassed and… sorry. If you chose me because you saw me favorably, I’m really very grateful. But since I can’t reciprocate to each and every person….”
For a moment, as a defense mechanism against himself, the expression “I’m sure everyone didn’t choose me with such serious feelings” almost popped out unconsciously, but fortunately, he managed to stop just that.
The production team seemed to have realized that even if they provoked Sungjin, they wouldn’t get such a spicy reaction, so they obediently wrapped up the interview and let him go. It was because other participants who clearly seemed to have more provocative issues were waiting their turn.
Whether that was the case or not, Sungjin, who found it difficult to hide his troubled feelings in his own way, only wanted to quickly go up, wash, and sleep.
“Yes, then you worked hard today too.”
“Thank you.”
Just as Sungjin bowed his head and was about to leave the interview room, a staff member who leaned slightly looked at Sungjin and spoke.
“Um, Sungjin-ssi.”
“Yes?”
What now? When Sungjin looked back toward where the staff was with a defensive attitude, he smiled and said a word.
“Just because someone has favorable feelings toward you doesn’t mean you absolutely have to give something back. You don’t have to feel too burdened.”
Was this an extension of the interview, or just something he personally wanted to say? Sungjin, who didn’t have the ability to distinguish, couldn’t answer anything and just stood there blankly, mulling over the meaning of the sentence, then bowed his head, thinking he shouldn’t delay too much time.
“Yes, thank you.”
With a short answer, he opened the door and left the interview room. Someone liking me doesn’t mean I must necessarily respond to those feelings…. It was correct. However, that didn’t make Sungjin’s heart lighter either.
When he came up the stairs with a complicated mind, the next male participant was waiting for Sungjin to come out.
“Haha….”
Muncheol was desperately trying to smile while sweating cold sweat like a dog that needed to pee. Even Sungjin, who was completely clueless in this area, could notice it.
What on earth happened….
Where did that confident and relaxed attitude from the first day go, that he’s floundering like that? He was momentarily curious, but he didn’t want to know badly enough to get involved with him.
Sungjin bowed his head and passed by Muncheol to return to his room. Fortunately, there was no one in the room. Sungjin quickly grabbed clothes to change into and then headed to the shower room almost as if running away. Finally pouring hot water over his head, it felt like the fatigue accumulated all day was being relieved.
I want to keep being like this.
Outside the shower room, only headache-inducing things were waiting anyway. For as long as he was receiving water in the booth, he could escape for a while at least. However, the bathroom wasn’t exactly a space with only good memories either.
……
At the memory that suddenly came to mind, Sungjin went “Argh,” clutched his head, and banged his forehead against the wall. Why did Yuwon kiss him? He still couldn’t understand the intention.
Just to torment him? To make him uncomfortable? But there probably aren’t many people who can kiss just to make the other person troubled. Can celebrities do that? Are they unfazed because they’ve already done it with too many people?
If he simply judged whether the act itself was good or bad, it wasn’t bad. Rather, it was so ecstatic that it was hard to come to his senses. But separately from that, because the partner was Lee Yuwon, he couldn’t leave it as a purely good experience. He suddenly felt unjustly treated. For sluts, a mere kiss might be nothing much, but for him, his first kiss partner was Yuwon, and his next and last kiss partner was also Yuwon. So the only sample he had was Yuwon.
……
In the end, he came to the conclusion that he had to confront Lee Yuwon again. To ask what he wanted from him, what his intention was in doing this. If he didn’t ask him directly, there was no way to find out.
