# Chapter 91
Dangerous experiments, regression, gates, and… Kang Taesung.
Jade expressed mild regret at the fact that research which had sacrificed so many lives had made so little progress even after seven years.
He didn’t get heated or mock it, just maintained a composed expression. It stirred ambiguous feelings in Lee Hwan, thinking Jade probably would have reacted the same way even if the research had succeeded.
Until they finished forcing down their meals and left the house, Jade remained deep in thought for a long time. His face was so serene that it seemed untouchable, so Lee Hwan didn’t disturb him and quietly left the house.
The journey home was unusually tiring and arduous. Lee Hwan had heard so many stories that his mind wouldn’t stop racing.
With a dazed expression, Lee Hwan walked home while continuously recalling their conversation.
‘The experiment I underwent was called the Resurrection Project. Back then, the goal wasn’t Awakening. Do you understand what I mean?’
The basis of semi-Awakening was originally an experiment to save dying people. Awakening was merely a secondary reward.
It did borrow concepts similar to the current understanding of Awakening. Physical enhancement through specific methods. Just being able to endure treatment drugs alone would have restored life to more than half of those who were dying.
The problem, however, was that achieving that ‘Awakening-like state’ was extremely difficult. Out of more than twenty volunteers, only five survived, and only Jade unexpectedly achieved re-Awakening.
And while he managed to continue his life that was about to end, he permanently lost his previous life.
The research was unique and creative, but unethical. The experiments were based on the observation that all Awakened people were born after the creation of gates.
Monsters generated from gates and people who Awakened abilities in response to gates. After various studies, factors extracted from monsters were used in the experiments.
Human bodies and monster DNA were incompatible. The instability from this was why the remaining four soon faced death as well.
The new DNA continuously ate away at their bodies. Before the boundary between human and monster became blurred, a rampage would occur, and if the body couldn’t find its own balance, it would eventually begin to collapse.
Even Jade, who succeeded in the experiment, inevitably experienced one rampage. Fortunately, the invasion stopped halfway, but when he regained consciousness, he had already harmed five researchers and his eyes had changed.
He never lost control again after that, but from then on, he was treated like disposable waste, a byproduct of a discontinued experiment.
‘Both the researchers and I tried to emphasize that the risk of rampage was extremely low… Anyway, sending something like me to protect a child probably wasn’t done with good intentions.’
Hearing such unexpected stories made Lee Hwan unable to tell if the food was going down his throat or up his nose. He barely tasted the meat in his mouth and just swallowed it.
The glimpse he stole of Jade’s eyes clearly showed they had undergone ‘mutation.’ Without needing to imagine, he could understand how Jade had lived after becoming someone who could never return to the light of day.
Still, he must have carried on with his life in his own way, monitoring Taesung and sometimes protecting him. If only Naru hadn’t dug up the abandoned experiment again to start research on Awakening and lifespan, he could have continued a life without major ups and downs.
‘Before that, I received treatment to suppress and stabilize the monster factors, but about two years ago, the medication they gave me started to change.’
The medication given by the laboratory to calm the monster factors had changed. He had to visit there periodically to check his physical condition.
He immediately knew they were doing something strange. In just a few weeks, dark veins started appearing around his eyes—a change that neither he nor even Taesung could ignore.
He later realized that a new experiment had begun in the shadows, but he couldn’t even show any sign of awareness. He surprisingly accepted all of it quietly.
Only Taesung was furious. He threw away all of Jade’s medication and went around collecting poisonous herbs to suppress the mutation. Now it made perfect sense why Taesung had gone berserk when he was officially brought into the semi-Awakening project.
‘Stupid bastard.’
Still, to stick his head into a suspicious group like HPA. Lee Hwan cursed under his breath.
Even if he somehow rescued Jade, their lives afterward wouldn’t be smooth. He knew this but jumped in anyway. With that brilliant mind of his, like a moth to a flame. Thinking about it made Lee Hwan feel suffocated.
Cold. Blunt. Rude. Despite all kinds of negative evaluations circulating about Taesung, Lee Hwan had always defended him.
He always gave his all to those he cared about. The memories gained from staying by his side were deep and sweet like expensive chocolate.
That’s why he couldn’t let him go. Even after they started walking different paths, he found himself habitually thinking about Taesung.
“I’m the stupidest one, really.”
Lee Hwan muttered to himself on the empty street.
Becoming at odds with Taesung was the greatest misfortune since regression. But at least their goals gently overlapped at the point of Jade, so that much was fortunate.
‘This week… I should go to the research building this week.’
This time, he planned to search through as many hidden laboratories as possible. Even if nothing special was there, perhaps he could find fragments of causality again.
Of course, considering how the experiment had been stagnant for years, he could probably afford to rest a bit. But during that time, Jade’s lifespan would gradually be whittled away.
It might be excessive, but Lee Hwan wanted to reduce that period, even if just a little. It wasn’t just out of sympathy. Jade knew many things. He might be a great help in preventing the future destruction.
Also, because Taesung wanted it.
‘I’ve never once shown him a friendly expression. He’s mistaken. That I’m someone trustworthy. It’s just that he’s never met a truly good person before.’
Though he sneered, the bitterness underneath was unmistakable. The fact that he was telling his story to Lee Hwan, whom he hadn’t known before, was probably entirely because of Taesung.
Funnily enough, Lee Hwan completely sympathized and empathized with Jade’s feelings.
He hadn’t known Taesung for long. He didn’t know all of his circumstances. But strangely, when he thought of Taesung, it felt like he could do anything. He was willing to take risks if it meant not losing him.
That’s why he swallowed that suspicious skill stone too. For Taesung, whose clothes had been dyed completely red with blood.
If only one person could regress, he would have given up his chance and sent Taesung. Partly because he judged Taesung to be better than himself in many ways, but also simply because that’s what he wanted.
‘He says you’re a friend. Kang Taesung doesn’t have friends. If you were truly his friend, you would have been the first good person he ever met. Probably.’
Well. Was that so? He wasn’t sure if he had been a good person. But Taesung’s eyes always looked at him with fondness, and he didn’t want to betray that.
‘At least in front of you, he wasn’t putting on airs or pretending.’
When he first heard those words, he just felt dazed, but thinking about it now made him chuckle.
Certainly, Taesung was kind and gentle like no one else in the world. He was mature and perfect to a degree that seemed impossible for someone his age. So much that he couldn’t take his eyes off him. So much that he wanted to stay close and hover around him.
Something cold fell on his face, and looking up, he saw dark clouds heavily gathered. Just as the weather forecast had warned, it seemed that heavy rain would pour again. His head and shoulders gradually began to get wet.
As Lee Hwan faced the increasingly fierce raindrops, he thought of Taesung. The rainwater entering and falling from his eyes felt just like tears, making him feel strange.
With that thought, something suddenly welled up inside him. Lee Hwan distorted his expression in bewilderment and rubbed his choking throat.
It was incomprehensible. He had clearly been smiling just a moment ago, but suddenly his eyes grew hot, and in an instant, his vision blurred. When he quickly wiped his face, cold rainwater ran down his hands in streams.
“Ah, come on…”
Muttering a lament to no one in particular, he pushed back his hair, and the soaked strands were swept back with his touch. Every time he furrowed his brow, the rainwater touching his cheeks alternated between lukewarm and cold.
Just because he heard such words from Jade didn’t mean he would run to Taesung. He wouldn’t cling to him, nor did he want to let go of his resentment.
He wouldn’t avoid confronting Taesung either. He knew well that was ultimately the best path for everyone.
But he couldn’t stop wanting to cry. Lee Hwan rubbed his face until the corners of his eyes stung and kept taking rough breaths.
‘What? Why did you buy my pajamas here?’
‘You’re going to crash here after the gate runs anyway. Stay and sleep. We have plenty of rooms.’
‘That’s true, but I usually sleep at home…’
‘Why, don’t you like our house?’
‘…You bastard, you’re not allowed to look at me with those eyes.’
A familiar voice seemed to brush past his ears.
He knew. The past is always beautified. So these memories from before, which now made him miss, envy, and even feel jealous, might not have been as beautiful and happy as they seemed.
But at least back then, Taesung was there.
Stopping that thought, Lee Hwan realized. It wasn’t the previous world full of monsters that he missed. He just missed Taesung. Kang Taesung, who had promised to come for him after regression.
His vision wavered, and before he knew it, his heart had already spilled its contents.
He missed him. He missed Kang Taesung so much.
“Ugh…”
At the same time, his footsteps grew heavy. The path walking through the pattering rain kept stretching longer. His body gradually cooled from the rainwater, but his face burned hot as he recalled the warmth of Taesung’s hands cradling his face and breathing warmth into him.
“Kk-ugh… ugh…”
Finally, unable to hold it in any longer, choked sounds escaped through his teeth, helplessly scattering among the raindrops. For the first time, Lee Hwan walked alone down the damp, dark street, crying out loud.
