The very short three-week break was coming to an end.
Until now, for Henry, breaks had always been nothing more than something boring that he wished would end quickly.
Going to church, coming home to eat a late lunch, exercising, watching game footage of the football players he admired, eating dinner and falling asleep.
It was a period meaning a continuation of extremely tedious life with no events whatsoever.
In that sense, this winter break belonged to the category of time passing rather quickly for Henry.
He’d lost a week to a cold, and when he came to his senses, it was the day he had to go to the showcase. Samuel had come to visit the house, and he’d fought with Margaret.
After that, it was hazy how he’d spent each day, and after that, it became hazy because of Declan Russell.
He seemed determined to comfort Henry. Because he always invited Henry out late at night when all the family members were asleep.
It wasn’t that they spent special nights together. He just walked following where Declan led.
In doing so, scenery of Houston he’d never seen before would unfold.
How did this kid who lived in New York until transferring here keep finding places like this—it was full of fascinating things.
Thanks to that, the break that would have remained the worst felt okay. Honestly speaking, on days when he opened the door and came in at night, Henry even felt anticipation.
Though it was a thought he could never tell the other person.
It was too different from the other breaks Henry had spent until now. Worry and anticipation mixed together, wondering if he could experience another break like this during his remaining teenage school life.
That’s why it was okay.
The fact that he still hadn’t reconciled with Margaret. The fact that he hadn’t had a single conversation with Richard, who had heard from Margaret and was angry to the tips of his hair.
The very fact that he felt peace in this situation was unexpected.
Being hated by them was a world Henry found difficult to even imagine.
Henry Lowell had considered the role of “the beloved youngest son of the Lowell family” to be his foundation. Because it was a role he’d devoted himself to and clung to for his entire life.
Whenever he realized where his roots lay, Henry tried even more desperately to hide himself.
Once his secret was discovered, he would lose his role, and after that, he believed he would collapse. Because he instinctively knew that his parents were not people who would accept a Henry Lowell who was different from others.
But contrary to his imagination, it was okay.
His daily life had crumbled, but Henry Lowell had not crumbled.
Even though he hadn’t hugged Margaret even once while returning to school as the break ended.
Returning to school, too—Margaret had refused, so Iris had brought him.
Henry realized only now.
That none of the individual roles given to him could ever be his everything.
That the things he had built up were so diverse and vast that even if he lost one, other things would fill him up.
Because he still had countless things left to do.
Moreover, an unfamiliar scene was unfolding on the campus he’d returned to.
Because the snow that had fallen the night before was leaving traces on the grass. Texas, which belonged to the southern region even in America, rarely had days when the temperature dropped below zero even in midwinter.
Yesterday, snow had fallen in such a Texas, which was rare. According to what he’d heard, it was the first time in 5 years that it had snowed enough to accumulate.
Having been born and raised in Texas his whole life, Henry had almost no memory of seeing proper snow.
The scenery he’d passed by countless times looked unfamiliar. It was utterly new and wondrous, as if seeing it for the first time.
When the surrounding environment changes, doesn’t a person’s mindset change too?
Naturally, Henry got a little excited too.
Perhaps Henry wasn’t the only one who felt the scenery he’d seen all his life anew—Joseph, who returned to the dormitory afterward, also spoke in an excited voice like a little child.
“Hey, did you see it snow?”
“Of course I saw it.”
Joseph got all excited and threw open the curtains and opened the window wide.
Cold air seeped into the room. Gently, gradually.
Henry prepared for tomorrow together with Joseph, leaving the window open without even feeling cold.
It felt like the cold wind was stripping away one layer of the mask surrounding him.
Tomorrow would be the start of the 11th grade spring semester.
It was the winter when he stopped liking David, and the spring when he bloomed another one-sided love.
***
It was the first day of the semester.
After finishing the first period class, it was when he was passing by to go to the next class. He saw someone coming down the stairs.
Even though he couldn’t see the face well, Henry recognized the person at a glance.
Among the other students, a noticeably tall height. A gray hoodie layered over a white t-shirt. Clean black jeans. Bright blond hair at a length that covered the nape of his neck.
Because in this school, there was no man with that appearance except Declan Russell.
It wasn’t a far distance. He was striding down toward the direction where Henry was. It was too embarrassing to greet him, but the distance was too close to pass by pretending not to know him.
If it had been before, he would have passed by ignoring him without a moment’s consideration about whether to greet him, but Henry had completely forgotten such a past.
Though he couldn’t decide what to do, Declan kept getting closer. At some point, the distance between Henry and him was only three steps.
He, who seemed like he would forever be looking somewhere else, turned his face. Their eyes met. The man’s steps stopped.
Just as if he was waiting for him.
Henry, who had decided to greet him first, overcoming his hesitation, took a breath and began.
“Hi…”
“Declan!”
But at that moment. A loud voice called his name, loud enough to instantly bury Henry’s low, calm voice. It was an incredibly lively voice.
Henry’s gaze was also stolen away toward the owner of the voice.
“…Hazel?”
Henry murmured her name quietly. Brief confusion also passed across her face when she encountered Henry after running toward Declan and stopping.
“Oh… you were together with Henry!”
Moving her eyes here and there, she seemed to think this wouldn’t do and tried to gloss over the situation with a bright smile.
Seeing her face, Henry’s gaze naturally turned to Declan.
With a face that condensed the question of what this was about.
Declan didn’t explain. Precisely, he didn’t seem to have any intention of explaining.
Hazel definitely seemed to have come because she had something to say to Declan. She, who had clearly run over excitedly without thinking, was now watching Henry’s reaction and constantly moving her lips.
…It felt exactly like he had become a foreign substance stuck between the two of them.
If he could follow his heart, he wanted to grab both Declan and Hazel and demand to know what this was about. Henry held onto his sanity.
No matter what happened between the two, demanding answers wasn’t like him. It wasn’t something he could do either.
Because Henry Lowell had no relationship with Declan Russell.
Henry tried his best to smile by forcing strength into the corners of his mouth. As he tried to forcibly move his stiffened face, he felt his facial muscles trembling.
Strongly hoping that neither Hazel nor Declan would notice, he asked playfully.
“Am I interrupting?”
He asked lightly, but it contained sincerity.
Because just imagining himself becoming an obstacle between the two felt disgusting.
It was Hazel, not Declan, who answered. She hurriedly waved the hand not holding books, denying Henry’s words.
“No…! It’s not like that! Rather, was I interrupting while you two were having an important conversation?”
Watching the two men who were much taller than her, Hazel asked. She didn’t know what to do with herself in her apologetic state.
Henry knew. The person who should leave this place was himself, not Hazel.
That fact made Henry feel small.
Had it been this hard even on the day David first brought his girlfriend to church?
He tried to recall that time, but no matter how much he thought about it, it hadn’t been this difficult.
Whether it was because past memories had been embellished, whether it was because he had changed, whether it was because the other person was different—there was no way to find out.
“…It’s not like that. We just happened to run into each other in passing.”
“That’s a relief.”
At Henry’s words, Hazel smiled with a very relieved face.
“…My next class is far away. I’ll get going now. Continue your conversation.”
Henry told the two of them while forcing himself to smile. The more he was in front of Hazel, the more he felt himself shrinking.
He didn’t want to leave Declan alone with her, but it was time to go now.
Henry knew better than anyone else that his emotions were nothing but greed.
“See you later, Henry!”
Hazel greeted him with a bright smile. Before Henry, who responded by nodding his head, could leave, Hazel turned her head toward Declan with an extremely excited face.
Henry turned his body to escape from this place before she could open her mouth.
What his long experience of one-sided love had taught Henry was that it was better not to see than to see and suffer.
As he was about to leave like that, his wrist was grabbed.
A hot and large hand.
Henry could tell who the owner of the hand was without looking back.
At some point, the sensation his hand gave had long been imprinted in Henry’s memory.
While he was clearing his caught voice to ask why he’d grabbed him, a low voice rang in his ear.
“It’s not what you’re thinking.”
Henry, who took a deep breath, squeezed his eyes shut and opened them. Because the reality that had rushed at him was far too cruel.
Erasing all the negative things and turning around with a bright smile, Henry twisted and pulled out his wrist that Declan had grabbed.
He was staring intently at Henry even with Hazel beside him.
He could clearly see Hazel, who couldn’t keep up with the situation, looking back and forth between herself and him repeatedly, being cautious.
“What do you think I’m thinking?”
The voice asking the question trembled faintly.
As always, he’d ended up letting Declan know he was shaken.
The man was staring at him, observing, trying to read something.
“And, whatever it is…”
Afraid that even the affection hidden in the deepest place might be discovered, he wanted to run away. Henry hastily packaged himself with words he didn’t mean.
To escape from his gaze.
“You don’t need to explain to me.”
