***
That fucking dream again.
His father’s urn was exploding and shattering into pieces right before his eyes.
Yoon Kihyun watched the scene blankly. He knew it was a dream, but his body wouldn’t move. There was nothing he could do except silently wait for the dream to end.
Among the broken ceramic fragments, his father’s bone powder was thoroughly soaked in water and clumped together. It looked like dumpling dough, or maybe garbage.
Traces of his father, who had tormented him and then died, were visible in other places too. Fragments of the shattered urn were scattered across the floor.
As he stared intently at the Chinese characters meaning “the deceased,” it felt like his vision was inverting, or like the floor was suddenly caving in.
Ah, this feels fucking terrible.
Yoon Kihyun cursed inwardly and inhaled. Before long, he faintly heard someone calling him. It was a sign he was about to wake from the dream.
“…Kihyun-ssi.”
“…”
“Yoon Kihyun-ssi!”
When he opened his eyes, he saw Jung Sijun. He was looking so closely that if Kihyun turned his head just slightly, their lips would touch.
‘Why is his face so close?’
When a flustered Yoon Kihyun pushed his face away, Jung Sijun clicked his tongue briefly and asked.
What was this—worrying because he was groaning in his sleep, only to have his face pushed away in shock the moment he opened his eyes?
“You seemed to be having a nightmare, so I woke you up. Are you okay?”
Instead of answering, Yoon Kihyun just nodded.
When asked if he was okay, the words “I’m okay” didn’t come out easily. Still, if some time passed, his unsettled feelings would probably calm down. As they always had.
‘Should I go see a psychiatrist?’
He had no idea what the problem was that made him keep having these dreams.
He agreed that he was feeling psychological anxiety, but he didn’t want to easily seek out a psychiatrist. He already had several medications to take every day—he couldn’t add psychiatric medication on top of that.
“Want to drink some water?”
“I’d appreciate it.”
At Yoon Kihyun’s answer, a water glass approached as if waiting for that response. It seemed he’d already poured the water before asking. Drinking the cold water made him feel like he was coming to his senses a bit. Jung Sijun, who received the glass back, carefully asked.
“Did you have a nightmare?”
“Yes. I’ve been having strange dreams continuously lately.”
Yoon Kihyun muttered while massaging his stiff neck.
“What kind of strange dream?”
“A dream where my father’s urn gets smashed?”
At the content that didn’t match the languid tone, Jung Sijun seemed at a loss for words and just moved his lips slightly.
Seeing him groan, he’d vaguely thought he was having a nightmare, but the content was quite brutal. Generally, dream content had no middle ground, but wasn’t this particularly unsettling?
“Did you look up the dream interpretation?”
“Why would I look up dream interpretations when I look like someone who doesn’t believe in that stuff?”
“My grandmother was a shaman. She always told me I needed to kill my dirty temper to meet my match, but anyway…”
Another piece of information he didn’t want to know.
Yoon Kihyun blinked while hiding his lukewarm expression.
But still, dream interpretation. He’d only felt creeped out by the unsettling dream content and had never thought to look up the interpretation.
Wasn’t that stuff superstition anyway?
While Yoon Kihyun just blinked, Jung Sijun checked his phone and showed him some blog. Yoon Kihyun’s gaze moved to the text.
‘No, what the hell is this…’
The dream interpretation content was uniformly negative. It suggested guilt about family or that there might be problems with family health. It even said there might actually be a problem at the ossuary.
‘Ah, shit, this bastard suddenly talking about dream interpretation. Making me feel creeped out…’
Since there wasn’t a single living family member, he could brush off things about health and such, but the possibility that there might be a problem at the ossuary? That last item particularly bothered him.
“The dream interpretation is a bit… yeah.”
When Yoon Kihyun muttered lukewarmly, Jung Sijun scratched the back of his head vigorously. As if belatedly attempting a clumsy recovery, he offered ill-fitting words of comfort.
“There couldn’t possibly be anything wrong with a perfectly fine facility. Even if there’s a problem, they contact you first. These days.”
Just when he thought for once he was saying something helpful, he suddenly realized something.
‘…I didn’t update my number at the ossuary.’
He’d already changed his number once when he quit the Center. After that, he’d only updated his phone number with some institutions including the bank, so those who knew Yoon Kihyun’s contact information could be counted on one hand.
Spending time busily this way and that, he hadn’t even thought to update his contact information at the ossuary of his father who’d died leaving only debt. So if there really was a problem at the ossuary, there’d be no way to know.
Of all things, hadn’t he been having dreams continuously featuring only his father’s urn for several days now?
Since he didn’t seriously believe in shamanism or superstitions, the very fact that the dream content bothered him was considerable stress.
‘Ah, talking about dream interpretation for no reason. Fuck.’
Jung Sijun cursed inwardly while observing Yoon Kihyun’s rapidly deteriorating expression. His family elder, his grandmother, had worked as a shaman for quite a long time. Because of that, he’d naturally known quite a lot of everyday superstitions from a young age.
“I just said it because your sleep seemed unsettled. Don’t worry about it. Who seriously believes in dream interpretations in this day and age?”
Though he said that, Yoon Kihyun’s complexion showed no signs of improving. The thought surged that the reason he’d seemed tired lately might be because of nightmares.
He didn’t know the exact illness name, but he was sick with a disease requiring expensive treatment costs, and after quitting and returning as a personal guide, he’d been subject to gossip this way and that, so it was a situation where he couldn’t help but be stressed.
Moreover, the place called home where he should rest comfortably was some goshiwon, so he even questioned whether Kihyun was getting proper rest after work.
An awkward silence descended on the guiding room for a while. Yoon Kihyun’s complexion remained pale after having a dream that might be a nightmare or an ominous dream, and Jung Sijun was also quiet, blaming his own mouth for bringing up something like dream interpretation for no reason.
It was Jung Sijun who broke the uncomfortable silence first.
“If it bothers you a lot, why don’t you just go check it out once? Rather than leaving it feeling creeped out, if you just go and check, you’ll feel relieved, right?”
It wasn’t something he said expecting Yoon Kihyun would agree. Anyone could see Yoon Kihyun was the type far removed from shamanic faith and superstitions. He wasn’t the personality to take this sort of thing at face value either.
He’d said it because he was concerned seeing his already pale complexion turn ashen, but surprisingly, Yoon Kihyun showed signs of contemplation and slowly nodded.
“Then, would it be okay if I leave work early just for today?”
“Of course. Would you like me to take you there?”
At Jung Sijun’s suggestion, Yoon Kihyun hesitated for a moment. It would definitely be more comfortable physically to travel by car rather than boarding complicated public transportation. Without thinking deeply, there was only one answer.
“The distance there is… a bit far. Is that okay?”
Jung Sijun quietly looked down at Yoon Kihyun looking up at his face.
It had been talk of taking him home, but from the nuance, it seemed he really was going to go to the ossuary to check. Even if he’d misunderstood the intention, it wasn’t bad since he’d be taking him home anyway.
“Where is it located?”
When he asked casually, what came out wasn’t the address written on the contract but a suburban area outside the city. Yoon Kihyun seemed to be planning to visit the ossuary.
“It doesn’t seem like it’ll take long by car, so get your things ready. I’ll request half-day leave and come back. When I come, let’s go together.”
The kindness of Jung Sijun saying he’d use even half-day leave to drive him was burdensome, but Yoon Kihyun couldn’t refuse. The reason was unclear.
At least it wasn’t the shabby reason of trying to save taxi fare to the ossuary. Perhaps he just wanted to accept that kindness as it was without misinterpreting it.
It was right after having an unsettling dream, plus his mind had been strangely disturbed a lot lately. Yes. That’s why he was doing this. Because he couldn’t properly sort out that damn disturbed mind.
“Drink this while I’m gone.”
Jung Sijun pressed a warm mug into his hands. The appearance of warm water and yuzu syrup separated because he hadn’t mixed it properly was sloppy beyond words. But strangely, his heart stirred.
“Okay.”
“I’ll be right back.”
Jung Sijun looked down at Yoon Kihyun’s face intently, then left the guiding room swinging his long legs.
The vivid body wash scent floating in the air and the refreshing yuzu smell rising from his hands seemed to settle his churning stomach.
‘It’s ridiculous to be like this just because I had strange dreams for a few days… Ah, I don’t know.’
Yoon Kihyun closed his eyes while taking a sip of yuzu tea. The inside of his eyes stung.
