“By the way, where are we going?”
“I’m just following you, Kihyun-ssi. I checked out of the hotel earlier, so I have nowhere to go.”
“Then go home. I’m going back to my lodging.”
Kihyun stopped walking without hesitation. At this rate, Sijun might even follow him all the way inside his lodging.
“I was going to leave without you saying anything, but do you know my number, Kihyun-ssi?”
“Ah.”
“You said you’d think about my proposal. Whether you do it or not, how are you going to let me know?”
As Sijun muttered while standing at an angle, Kihyun finally seemed to realize and pulled out his phone.
This guy who always spouted nonsense had already said the right thing several times just today. He handed his phone to Sijun with a chin gesture.
“Please enter your number.”
“The day has finally come when Kihyun-ssi asks me for my number?”
“……Stop saying weird things.”
Sijun grinned as he entered his number into Kihyun’s phone. Even though he still detested the nonsense Sijun spouted, it was visibly obvious that the contempt in his expression had diminished considerably compared to before.
Money really is something else.
Kihyun’s attitude had noticeably changed from the moment Sijun brought up hiring a personal guide and presented a salary offer.
But is it a curable disease?
Sijun glanced at Kihyun’s still pale face.
There wasn’t a trace of color in it, and seeing him suddenly get a nosebleed made it clear this wasn’t a disease to take lightly. Moreover, if what he said about medication costing twenty million won was true, there was a possibility it could be a rare or incurable disease.
“I saved it here.”
At the words that he’d saved it on his own, Kihyun’s eyes widened. To save a number, you had to enter a name, and he was already worried about what Sijun might have entered.
“Why did you do that on your own……What did you save it as?”
As soon as Kihyun got his phone back, he checked the contacts. In his short contact list, a word that Sijun had saved himself had been added.
‘Handsome Employer-nim’
Is this guy really an elementary school student?
Kihyun glanced at Sijun with a serious expression. He knew Sijun was arrogant and lived for his own satisfaction, but experiencing it firsthand, it was worse than he’d thought.
“I saved it with my earnest hope that Kihyun-ssi would accept my proposal.”
“You usually get told you’re overly self-conscious, don’t you, Team Leader Jung?”
When Kihyun showed his obvious distaste, Sijun finally shoved his hands into his pants pockets with a thoroughly offended expression.
“……Shit. Fine. Just save it under my name. You know my name, right?”
“You’re Jung Sijun-ssi.”
“You kept only calling me Team Leader Jung, so I thought maybe you didn’t know my name.”
“I’ll save it under your name.”
“Ah, yes. Thank you.”
He was clinging desperately with flattery that wasn’t in his nature, all because he lacked guiding, but somehow Kihyun showed no sign of softening his heart. Sijun sighed deeply and racked his brain.
Ah, if he doesn’t seem like he’ll do it, I should try offering more money.
Since the thing Kihyun had reacted to most was the salary, he planned to push forward with money.
Under the beating sunlight, Sijun’s eyes gleamed ominously as he felt grateful for his own wealth that could pay Kihyun’s annual salary however much it took.
***
After exchanging contact information with Sijun, they immediately parted ways.
The headache that had been somewhat bearable while outside came rushing in like a tidal wave the moment he returned to his lodging. Kihyun chewed and swallowed a few painkillers without water.
The headache was terrible, but there was much to think about. Burying his head in his pillow while waiting for the medicine to take effect, he organized his tangled thoughts.
‘How about this much per month in salary—would you consider being my personal guide?’
The most important thing was the personal guide proposal he’d received from Sijun. It was Kihyun’s only lifeline and an opportunity like a miracle.
The Center’s annual salary was absolutely insufficient, so he’d tried to give up on life. Even though he wanted to live more than anyone. But now he could see a way to survive.
The more he mulled over his thoughts after returning to his lodging, the more he regretted how he’d treated Sijun in that alley yesterday.
You never know how things will turn out with people—who would’ve thought he’d become his future employer? It was a development he’d never even dreamed of.
‘I really can’t drink alcohol anymore.’
No matter how he thought about it, alcohol was the problem.
If he hadn’t been drinking, he wouldn’t have run into Sijun at that bar yesterday, but it was horrifying not knowing what disgraceful behavior he’d committed in the blank space of memory that had been cut out like with scissors.
There had been a few times when he’d overdrunk and his memory was spotty. But it was rare for him not to remember anything at all, as if it had been cut out with a knife, like today.
Rather than rare, it was the first time. Having his memory evaporate this cleanly.
‘Right. Let me pull myself together and figure out how to live.’
Now that there was an option where he didn’t have to die, he needed to take care of the body he’d deliberately abused—it would help with the treatment he’d receive going forward.
‘As a personal guide, the workload will definitely decrease.’
Thinking of Sijun’s personality, it didn’t seem like he’d make him guide other Espers too.
Even if by some chance he asked him to guide other Espers, it would be less than what he usually handled at the Center. Sijun’s wavelength was troublesome for other Espers, but if he set his mind to guiding properly, it wasn’t impossible.
When he was a guide affiliated with the Center, he distributed his guiding energy with the priority of guiding the assigned number of people equally. Kihyun remembered struggling quite a bit with it until he gained experience.
But once he got the hang of it, it was manageable. Since he’d only be responsible for one person with his complete guiding energy, it was practically a free ride.
After some time passed, the pain that felt like his scalp was shrinking and sticking to his skull gradually faded. The medicine he’d chewed seemed to be taking effect. When he took a long breath instead of shallow ones, his body felt drowsy.
‘Ah, I think I can live now.’
With a much more comfortable expression, Kihyun soon drifted off to sleep.
***
He’d started preparing to somehow live again, but it wasn’t as smooth as expected.
Until a few days ago, he only had to decide how to die. But now there were so many things to think about that his head throbbed constantly.
After getting off at the train station, Kihyun headed straight to the hospital.
He left his luggage at the lodging he’d rented for a month and came up with only himself. Since he’d paid the deposit and rented it until the end of the month, he planned to commute by train for a while until he found a place to live.
He’d come up to look for a house to live in and only intended to make an appointment, but things went somewhat well.
Even when he was first diagnosed, he’d had to wait quite a while to receive treatment, so he hadn’t even dreamed of getting a same-day appointment. However, although he’d only visited to make an appointment, luckily he was able to sit in the examination room.
The doctor explained that this rarely happened when a scheduled patient didn’t show up. At the words that he was lucky, Kihyun nodded in agreement.
Lucky, huh……
He certainly was. Opportunities that were hard to explain as anything but luck were happening to him one after another.
After finishing payment at the reception desk, Kihyun’s steps gradually slowed.
There were too many people sitting packed in the waiting room chairs, waiting for their turn. There were even people standing by walls or pillars because there weren’t enough seats.
‘……’
He’d spent each day drifting through heavy drinking and clumsy extravagance, only waiting for the day he’d die. During that time, the most unfortunate person in Kihyun’s world had been himself.
One day he pitied his childhood self who grew up without receiving proper care, another day he pitied his current self afflicted with a rare disease. He never thought to escape from that self-destructive pity.
But now, mixed in here where the distinctive smell of hospitals permeated, it was different.
A man standing near a waiting room pillar was requesting a credit limit increase from the card company’s customer service center, and someone in the front row of the waiting room was complaining to a relative. Though the content was quite different, it was all about money.
Many people were burdened by hospital bills and medication costs. In that moment, Kihyun felt the formless despair that had been constricting his heart dissipate a little.
The worry he’d had about dying because of the absurd medication cost might not be such an exceptionally remarkable misfortune after all.
Each person carrying their own heavy burdens yet somehow living seemed admirable and wonderful too.
He was able to leave with lighter steps than when he’d entered the hospital. And that certainly wasn’t only because of the terribly expensive prescription medicine he’d carefully tucked into his jacket’s inner pocket.
