A new person came into the cafe. The employee was found faster than expected, and it had already been two weeks since he started working. Thanks to that, I was now gradually finishing up my work.
“This week is the last… It feels strange.”
Fortunately, the new employee had exceptionally outstanding abilities. Since his major was baking and pastry, he was very skilled at the work, and it was obvious at a glance that he had a lot of experience. On top of that, with major competition awards, his resume was very impressive. I wondered what reason someone with such ability had for applying to this small cafe.
But unlike my concerns, he very actively wanted to work. For us who urgently needed an employee, there was no reason to refuse a blessing that rolled in.
The recipe learning problem I’d worried about most was nothing to him. Not only did he master all the recipes in three days, but he was already showing signs of planning new seasonal menu items. The new employee’s ability was amazing, but on the other hand, I felt somewhat regretful and sad. They say empty spaces are quickly filled anywhere, and since I’m no longer needed here.
My family situation became difficult and I’d worked together with hyung all this time. Hyung grabbed me when I was on leave from school and wandering, and tied me down here. Thanks to hyung, I got certifications and could afford Mom’s medicine and hospital bills. He gave me a lot of counseling and encouragement when I was mentally struggling…
It weighed on my mind that I couldn’t even open my mouth about my unexpected situation. On top of that, I felt sorry for unintentionally lying. But I’d already received compensation for this work and needed to carry out the contract smoothly. Since it was a contract that ultimately helped everyone, it would be good to finish it smoothly.
“The morning sickness got worse anyway, so I wouldn’t have been able to stay longer. Since the employee is excellent, my mind is at ease, and this is a decent ending.”
When I said I was quitting this week since an employee was found, the executive director seemed quite satisfied too. Maybe I should have done this from the start. I repeatedly told myself that this was the best situation to soothe my empty heart.
“Eunwoo. You’re not busy right now, right? There are no customers, so let’s talk with hyung for a bit.”
Jay hyung gestured with his chin toward the place where he often went out to rest and called me.
.
.
Hyung, who plopped down on the bench, showed a tired appearance as he moved his head around. No matter how outstanding the employee’s abilities were, since a new person came in, there must have been a lot to worry about. The gesture of patting my shoulder seemed like it was telling me I’d worked hard all this time.
“I told you to come back when you’re all better, but Eunwoo. Are you really sick?”
At the unexpected question heard in his warm voice, I flinched. Hyung’s voice already contained doubt. But I couldn’t give any answer to hyung’s question. Hyung, who noticed my subtle behavioral change, sighed.
“If you were sick somewhere, you’re the kind of guy who would have said you were sick right away. But you stayed quiet without saying anything and then suddenly quit, so I’m asking because it’s strange. And why do you keep dry heaving so much these days? Tell me honestly.”
Hyung, squinting one eye, asked me with a fastball without beating around the bush. Ah… Right. The situation couldn’t not be questioned. Since I, who had been fine even after drinking spoiled milk, suddenly started retching about fishy smells, from hyung’s perspective watching that, there must have been more than one or two strange things.
Eggs and milk, also butter and fishy water smells. The kitchen was full of things that turned my stomach, and having entered the peak of morning sickness at 7 weeks, I had no way to overcome them. Hyung’s expression and tone already mixed with some kind of certainty. But even so, I couldn’t reveal the truth.
That was a contract, and a contract wasn’t something like a joke. I didn’t even want to imagine the consequences of a careless disclosure. If such a thing happened, the Chairman aside, Cha Juheon would never leave me alone. So I had to remain unwavering even at hyung’s question. Thanks to the penalty fee that crossed my mind, I could maintain indifference without any agitation.
“Hyung. I know what you’re guessing, but it’s really not that. My stomach has been a bit bad. Mom has been really unwell lately. So I had a lot of worries taking care of that. Then it seems to have become an illness.”
Though my conscience pricked me, strictly speaking, it wasn’t all a lie, so I lied without batting an eye. Because it was true that Mom’s condition was bad and I’d had a lot of worries because of that. But I couldn’t hide my awkward face until the end.
“Is your mother very unwell again? The hospital?”
“She had to have skin grafts and reconstructive surgery. The burned area kept pulling and hurting and itching and burning. She suffered a lot. The hospital bills worked out somehow. Mom’s surgery went well too, but I…”
“Haah.”
Whether he fully believed my words, hyung let out a big sigh and tousled his hair.
“You should have told hyung if something like that happened! How severe must your mental suffering have been for your stomach to be in that state? Where and how did you get the hospital bills? What about your treatment costs?”
Hyung’s expression asking about the source of the surgery costs was strange. It contained suspicion and worry about whether I’d taken out a loan from some strange place.
“…Grandmother and aunt helped, and I also moved.”
Since moving is also true. I didn’t have the courage to meet hyung’s eyes, so I just lowered my head and continued speaking.
“You moved? You moved?”
“Yes. I moved and found a new place close to the hospital.”
“So you withdrew your deposit and got Mom’s treatment costs? You didn’t go into a goshiwon again, did you? You lived in a goshiwon for a long time before too. If things were that difficult, why didn’t you tell hyung sooner?”
Hyung pressed me relentlessly. If what I said had all been true without lies, hyung would have definitely helped me readily. Knowing hyung’s heart well enough, I felt sorry that it had to be like this.
“Don’t worry. It’s not a goshiwon. And anyway, since it’s a place I’ll live in briefly, even a goshiwon would have been okay.”
“Okay, my ass. No matter how dominant you are, it’s not a comfortable place for an omega to live.”
“Goshiwons are better than you think? Before. Both hyung and acquaintances worried a lot about me when I entered the goshiwon, right? But back then, I actually really liked it.”
Looking at hyung asking what was good about an old goshiwon, not even a gositel, I recalled that time. I lost my father to the flames and Mom suffered terrible burns. Father’s death ruined the business, and when I was about to take on all that debt, it was Gyuho’s mother who helped.
Having been close friends with Gyuho since childhood, even our mothers became close. Gyuho’s mother rolled up her sleeves and helped Mom so the father’s debt wouldn’t be inherited by me. And she took me in and cared for me when I had nowhere to go.
Gyuho also looked after me and cared, but Gyuho’s father didn’t. How uncomfortable must I, a complete stranger and not even a relative, have been? I was an uninvited guest who suddenly intruded into their space one day. Uncle openly felt uncomfortable with me, and Gyuho’s mother was busy embracing me in that state, so there were many instances of raised voices between the two of them.
So the household atmosphere got worse day by day. So it was too natural for me to be mindful of others there. In the guilt of making a comfortable home uncomfortable, I spent as much time outside as possible before coming in.
I almost always skipped dinner and stayed until the library closed, then sat in the playground in front of the apartment, spending time waiting for everyone to fall asleep. The swing in the playground was more comfortable for me than the small room prepared at Gyuho’s house.
Then the burden accumulated to the point where I could no longer stay in that house, so I entered a goshiwon. Persuading Gyuho’s mother wasn’t easy, but she eventually let me go due to my stubborn will.
“It’s because you gave up on everything. What could have been good about that place?”
“No. Hyung. I really liked it. After Dad passed away, it was the first time my heart felt that comfortable. That narrow, narrow place was wider than a palace to me. I was so free. I didn’t have to endure being hot or cold, I could go in anytime, I could eat prepared meals when hungry, I could sleep in as late as I wanted. Most of all, I didn’t have to be mindful of others, so it was so comfortable. To me, it was really a better place than heaven. Maybe because of that, my studies went well too, and that time was truly a happy time for me.”
It was sincere. That place, which would be desperate to someone else, was happiness to me. Life in the goshiwon was free and comfortable. Maybe because of that, it was a place with only good memories.
“Hey… Why are you doing this? Making hyung’s heart hurt…”
“I’m not trying to make your heart hurt, but rather that it’s a place I lived well in, so don’t worry. I’m not even in a goshiwon now.”
“Right. Above all, I’m worried about your body. If your stomach is bad, you get nauseous. I didn’t even know that… You worked hard. But since it came up, I’m asking—is there any contact from that bastard Kang Gyuho?”
At hyung’s last question, I shook my head with a faint smile. Naturally, there’s no contact from Gyuho. At some point he became cold and distanced himself from me, then only conveyed the news that he’d left for America without a single mention. Along with that news, my love also ended.
Is it right to call that emotion, which was close to unrequited love, love? Thinking of Gyuho who left after shaking me up while leaving room for hope made my head hurt.
“You were so outstanding in ability that you would have naturally gotten into Korea University even if you’d continued with music. Gyuho felt bad because only you got into Korea University and he failed. And it wasn’t even the music college but a completely different department, English literature, so his pride was hurt. When you two took the college entrance exam, your relationship wasn’t bad, right?”
It’s not like I didn’t think about this. It must have been a lot of pressure since it was a family where everyone graduated from Korea University’s medical school. In that situation, only I got into Korea University and Gyuho failed. Back then, I felt unnecessarily sorry about that. I naturally became mindful of him. Well, the person in question quickly disappeared anyway.
“I made you gloomy for no reason. Don’t think about such things now and focus on recovering your body. Even if you quit, we have to keep in touch, right?”
“Of course. Hyung. Is that even a question? But I’m sad about not being able to work. While working, I didn’t think about other things. I’m worried I’ll have a lot of idle thoughts now.”
“Those aren’t idle thoughts but anxiety. Your anxiety. Of course you’ll have a lot of worries now. But for now, let’s unconditionally only think about health.”
Anxiety… That also seems right. Ha, to think I can’t meet such a good hyung for a while. It’s just a few months, but until my belly swells and I give birth, I probably won’t be able to meet him. Until then, I should only think about the immediate matters being resolved well.
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Juheon, who doesn’t know how long he’s been standing and watching, is staring at Eunwoo entering the building. He didn’t intentionally eavesdrop on their conversation. While coming in after finishing external business, he saw Eunwoo and his boss who came outside and sat on a bench. He could have just passed by, but Juheon himself didn’t know the reason he approached them. His body just moved in that direction.
He swears he has no hobby of eavesdropping on others’ words. But the words he could hear caught Juheon’s feet. The conversation content was extremely private content that couldn’t come out in an investigation. So he unknowingly paid attention.
They say everyone has at least one circumstance, but Baek Eunwoo had really experienced many things at a young age. From their brief conversation, Juheon could infer many things about Baek Eunwoo’s past life. Juheon looked at Eunwoo’s back as he entered the cafe for a long time.
