If he truly had to make Yeongwon give up, he could affirm all the reasons, but that would be a lie. Thinking about it again, the biggest reason he couldn’t keep the promise was Yeongwon’s age.
Jiseo’s answer simultaneously evoked a deep sigh and bestowed tremendous relief on Yeongwon.
“I asked and hyung said no, so what can I do now? There’s no reason to give up.”
“……”
“Hyung, you’re going to fall completely for me now.”
“To fall like that, you need to get bigger. Around thirty?”
“Thinking about it again, hyung really said it well. Later, after you like me, you won’t have to say you didn’t know it would be like this.”
“So what hyung is saying is, we can’t get married right now, but you reach that conclusion?”
“Should I raise you a bit more and devour you?”
“You’re the baby, or am I the baby?”
Unable to bear it because it was so absurd, Jiseo finally burst into laughter. Additionally, at the ridiculousness he felt, Jiseo shook his head and straightened his posture.
Because he kept saying he was young, perhaps wanting to look older, Yeongwon was pushing forward with this concept.
“It’s not like canceling a lunch promise—it’s an important promise that stakes our lives, so how can words just make it like it never happened?”
Yeongwon continued speaking clearly toward Jiseo with a sincere voice that contained no playfulness at all.
First of all, chewing it over again, they weren’t in a relationship to exchange such serious words. That clearly had to take priority right now.
Setting aside the childhood promise to get married, the other talks needed to be carefully chewed over once more.
First, yes, the claim that since he’d grown up, they should get married as promised could be accepted to some degree.
To accommodate Yeongwon’s claims, he could live together with him in his home. Even if their relationship was exposed to reporters who dug into his private life, he was confident he could respond with silent refusal. Later, if Yeongwon perhaps announced a breakup, he could accept even that.
Despite being prepared to draw all these processes into his daily life, the reason Jiseo actually couldn’t carry it out was too formidable.
All the processes might be nothing to him, but for Yeongwon who had just turned twenty, it could be a burdensome process in many ways. Even without thinking complicatedly, that was the case. There was too much to do in the process of marriage.
To experience something like this hastily, Yeongwon was excessively young and had too little experience.
That’s why he couldn’t play along. That was most important, but the person in question didn’t accept it at all.
“Right? Hyung thinks that way too, right?”
The question full of conviction was a bit absurd while on the other hand, he also understood Yeongwon’s heart. But Jiseo could only burst into laughter.
What should I do when I don’t really want to say this? Perhaps if he actually said it out loud, Yeongwon might really hate it, but he’d already revealed his true colors in front of him.
What he meant was that he was openly showing his youth. The clear cheeks puffed up with dissatisfaction at things not going his way was cute.
In any case, it remained an unchanging fact that his face ridiculously didn’t suit the word “marriage.”
“What marriage when you’re young and your cheeks are still chubby?”
Yeongwon, who had been confidently asserting what was natural by his own standards, breathed out a long sigh once more. He was trying his best to unravel this moment as gently as possible.
From Yeongwon’s perspective, Jiseo’s reversal couldn’t help but be bewildering. Perhaps because he’d been too naive, his sincerity when hooking pinkies hadn’t been properly conveyed.
He’d already been liking Jiseo from that time. As he’d told Jiseo, he was his first love.
They say first loves from childhood naturally change as you grow and discover better people, but it had never changed even once. Because there was no reason to give it up.
“What were you thinking when you made the promise to marry me, hyung?”
“……”
“Don’t lie.”
“Because you were cute. Honestly, it’s true I didn’t think about when you’d be all grown up back then.”
“Since when did you want to refuse? This too, honestly.”
Though he seemed to be calmly continuing the conversation, Yeongwon seemed to be excited to the maximum. Jiseo, who thought he couldn’t accept his reversal, moved his lips.
Originally, Yeongwon had a personality that spoke clearly and was quite forthright. He’d act cheekily cute, but when making claims he was firm.
He kept promises well and kept lines well. So what good was that? Unable to bear the frustration, the only action he took was to move his lips, asking and letting go.
“Look at your face. It’s just full of downy hair, isn’t it?”
Jiseo’s hand tapped Yeongwon’s cheek again, then gently stroked it.
“Hyung’s face is also full of downy hair, look.”
“……”
“Conceding a hundred times, I also understand that hyung is still a baby. I also feel a little guilty about holding back a baby with lots of dreams and things to do.”
“……”
“But anyway, hyung and I are exactly the same. Equally young, and when hyung ages, I age exactly the same.”
He absolutely couldn’t accept that age, of all things, would become the biggest obstacle.
What’s so important about a mere ten-year age gap? And when he’s still a baby himself.
Inwardly, he kept having only those thoughts. Moreover, looking outwardly, there wasn’t much difference. If you just put Jiseo in a school uniform, he’d look exactly like a student.
“Then why did you do face masks frequently and apply sunscreen well? You ate things that are good for your body and exercised hard too.”
It was Jiseo who made his own appearance youthful. Naturally, I thought he was making an effort to marry me……!
If he was going to refuse because of being young, he should grow a beard like an old man and gain a belly. If he pushed him away without such effort, it would be nothing but a hollow reason.
“I’m saying I think hyung is young and it’s a waste.”
“You never know what will happen with people. I’m worried that hyung is making such a decision too quickly.”
“If I seduce you, will hyung fall for me?”
“When you get bigger.”
Though he hadn’t yet harbored such feelings for Yeongwon, he couldn’t definitively conclude a situation he didn’t know about. Even so, he was only maintaining his current position with objective facts.
If only Yeongwon had been around his age, he would have firmly decided one of two things: either completely cutting it off or choosing to advance the relationship.
If it was this kind of confrontation, it was an opinion that wouldn’t easily narrow. For some reason, Yeongwon treated him as young. This was a part he absolutely couldn’t understand.
“Does hyung not really want to date, let alone get married?”
“It’s not a matter of wanting to or not wanting to in the first place. You’re twenty now and you’re an actor receiving a lot of attention……”
“Let’s exclude the point that I’m an actor. Marriage doesn’t affect my career.”
“You told me you waited because I was young, to do whatever I wanted to my heart’s content.”
“Hyung only had goals for your acting career, but I had two. I’ll grow more in the future, but even if I hold onto one side, the growth speed won’t slow down.”
It was natural that someone who had been preparing step by step from long ago was ready to handle anything, rather than someone who had to accept it immediately when it came.
Following the person he liked, he naturally decided his career path, and was steadily achieving his goals pursuing a dream that had become sincere, but that was separate from another goal.
Instead of finding love early, Yeongwon resolved to work even harder. It was a promise to himself, but also a promise he’d whispered several times more sincerely to the fans who loved him. It was also a promise he’d keep until the day he retired.
“Even if just one year passes, the feeling will be different, so ten years would really be wasting time.”
“……”
“If I manage well, my face will stay the same, but it can’t be completely identical. The cute charm should be enjoyed when it’s cute.”
“……”
“I hope hyung does too, but I also want to have cute things before it’s too late.”
The expression “before it’s too late” didn’t mean aging years that passed more and more.
A loved one was someone you’d look at with the same gaze no matter how much time passed. Even so, if he didn’t seize it right away, he really wanted hyung’s cuteness that would disappear just like that.
Because it was true that he’d waited to accommodate his circumstances, he could regard the cuteness of the past ten years as nonexistent even if it was regrettable. Well, what could he do? He couldn’t have it. That’s why from this year on, he wanted to hold it in his hands.
