***
‘A kiss is a kiss.’
When he heard those words, the color of Baek Seungyeon’s eyes, his body temperature, even the temperature and humidity seemed to be engraved into each of his cells, rising up vividly. The flesh that had rummaged through his mouth, the saliva he couldn’t swallow in time, and even the sensations that had boiled up beyond that.
Jung Sanho knew well that this emotion was irrational and one-sided. Baek Seungyeon didn’t harbor the level of emotion he wished for. To Baek Seungyeon, this was just a meeting out of necessity, nothing more. Even if one had affection for a tool, there were clear limits. He had known this from the beginning. The fact that he could use him as he pleased, that he didn’t care at all—all of it had been sincere. It was a plea to not expect his heart, but just to stand there and at least listen to his feelings.
However, that resolution evaporated helplessly the moment he saw Baek Seungyeon kissing another man. Jung Sanho had to acknowledge it. Human emotions could never be one-sided, and no matter how much he denied it, he couldn’t help but expect from the other person as much as he gave.
From the moment he escaped Baek Seungyeon’s house as if fleeing after kissing him, Jung Sanho agonized and agonized again.
Whether he should wish for more from Baek Seungyeon, or whether even this was just a meaningless act in the vein of “eat and leave”—he needed to figure that out to get his bearings. He had to decide whether it was okay to be greedier from here, or whether he should continue acting like this.
So he hid away without even contacting Baek Seungyeon, spending his time. He contemplated whether or not to call countless times a day, wrote and deleted texts. His emotions churned constantly. While holed up in his room without even going to school, Jung Sanho came to a conclusion after much deliberation.
‘Either way, I need Baek Seungyeon.’
Even if he kissed other men, even if he didn’t pour out as much affection as he wanted, the fact that he needed Baek Seungyeon didn’t change. In this relationship, Jung Sanho was thoroughly the weaker party. If he couldn’t cut ties no matter what level the other wanted, he intended to accommodate whatever Baek Seungyeon wanted to do.
It would be good to draft something like a contract if possible. If they organized the parts they wanted each other to be careful about, couldn’t they avoid unnecessary fights? For instance, not kissing or having skinship with other people, not smiling at other people, not flirting with other people, etc.
He also made a plan to go to the party venue, just show his face and return, then immediately go find Baek Seungyeon. He wasn’t in the mood to enjoy the party, but he had no choice because Yoon Taerim was openly giving him grief.
On the way to the hotel, he mustered courage and called Baek Seungyeon, but for some reason it went to voicemail. Even when he sent texts, even when he called again, there was no response, so his heart grew increasingly anxious.
Surely he wouldn’t just ghost him like this, right? He knew his home address, so should he go visit and check? Or should he put a tail on him while he’s at it? While he was pondering which would offend Baek Seungyeon’s mood less, he arrived at the hotel where the party was being held.
It was called a party, but it was nothing more or less than a gathering where people with nothing to do called their acquaintances together to have small talk about recent happenings.
This neighborhood originally had a bit of an obsession with social activities. Jung Sanho wasn’t particularly one to enjoy these kinds of meetings, but the story was different for people like Yoon Taerim who loved meeting people and fit in well wherever they were placed.
Actually, he had planned to bring Baek Seungyeon here. He wanted to use the party as an excuse to buy him clothes and dress him up to his own taste. That’s why he had gone to the department store. Though from there, nothing had flowed as he intended.
Even after arriving at the party venue, Jung Sanho’s attention was focused on his phone. He had to make sure not to miss it if Baek Seungyeon contacted him. He also just glossed over the scene of Yoon Taerim intensely kissing his lover. Yoon Taerim acting like a pervert wasn’t a one or two time thing, and it wasn’t particularly surprising.
However, Jung Sanho, who had raised his head without much thought, had to face a reality he didn’t want to believe.
Baek Seungyeon, whom he had been trying to contact all along, was right there. The person who was ostentatiously kissing Yoon Taerim and rubbing bodies while practically nestled in his arms… was Baek Seungyeon. His brain momentarily stopped all functions. While he just blinked his eyes like a fool, Yoon Taerim said with a smile.
“Honey, say hello. This is my most cherished younger cousin, Jung Sanho.”
The sound clearly entered his ears, but his mind wasn’t accepting the meaning. Yoon Taerim and Baek Seungyeon, Baek Seungyeon and Yoon Taerim. His brain creaked at the scene of these two people who had no chemistry or connection being together.
The moment Yoon Taerim kissed Baek Seungyeon’s cheek with a smack, a fuse in Jung Sanho’s head snapped.
“What are you… what are you doing right now.”
His voice trembled mercilessly. In the midst of his shock, he saw Baek Seungyeon frown as if uncomfortable. Really Baek Seungyeon? Really?
“What do you mean what, he’s my lover-. Hey! Jung Sanho!”
Jung Sanho quickly grabbed Baek Seungyeon’s arm and headed outside. He only thought that he needed to get out of here without hearing more. From behind Baek Seungyeon who was being dragged like a piece of paper, Yoon Taerim urgently shouted.
“Where are you going!”
Brushing that off, he stomped out of the penthouse. Even while pushing the door as if to break it and exiting to the corridor, his fingertips holding Baek Seungyeon trembled finely. From behind, he heard Baek Seungyeon’s voice, not knowing what to do.
“Wait, Jung Sanho! Stop! Hey!”
Jung Sanho ground his teeth. Completely ignoring the command to stop, he walked forward looking only ahead. Reaching near the emergency stairwell, he slammed the door open. Light flashed on in the dark stairwell, and he pushed Baek Seungyeon through the open doorway.
‘Bang!’
The door closed with a rough noise. Only after Jung Sanho took several deep breaths did he raise his head. He heard Yoon Taerim’s voice from beyond the door, having chased after them. Leaving behind the flustered and urgent shouting, Jung Sanho slowly turned his head like in slow motion to look at Baek Seungyeon.
“…Why are you… here, hyung…”
He stopped speaking and just chewed his lips. If he did this, it would end up just like last time. He had no right to reproach Baek Seungyeon for kissing whoever. He didn’t have the right, but then why was he so pissed off and why did his insides feel turned upside down?
Baek Seungyeon, who had been quietly reading the situation until then, cautiously opened his mouth. His voice echoed throughout the emergency stairwell.
“Uh, Sanho. How that happened is…”
“No. Just don’t say it.”
He didn’t want to hear it. Whatever relationship Yoon Taerim and Baek Seungyeon had, was that any of his business?
Jung Sanho wasn’t unaware of how lightly his cousin hyung Yoon Taerim played around. It wouldn’t be strange if he had met Baek Seungyeon in some way and liked him so damn much that he wanted to make him his lover.
It wasn’t strange, but just that fact alone made him feel absurd, dumbfounded, and so irritated he could die.
“…Really? You and Yoon Taerim are dating? Since when exactly? Did you two know each other from before you met me?”
The banging and pounding noise from behind grew increasingly louder. An angry Yoon Taerim shouted, “If you don’t open the door, you’re dead, seriously!” Go ahead and kill me, fuck. To Jung Sanho right now, Baek Seungyeon was more important than his cousin hyung’s anger.
“Answer me. Are you two really seeing each other?”
“That’s… how it turned out. You know, I like money. Yoon Taerim-ssi said he’d give me a lot of money so I was happy to… date him. We knew each other from before I met you… So, Sanho. Now let’s break-“
“No, stop. Shut your mouth right there.”
It wasn’t enough to spit it out like a threat, he even blocked his ears. Because he instinctively realized what words would follow.
Break up? Says who?
Behind him, Yoon Taerim continued pounding on the door, and right in front of him, Baek Seungyeon didn’t understand his feelings and talked about breaking up.
Even in the midst of this, Jung Sanho’s gaze kept landing on Baek Seungyeon’s lips. The reddish, swollen lips endlessly reminded him of how they had been stuck to Yoon Taerim just moments ago. It hurt as if everything from his solar plexus to his stomach was being wrung out. Pushing down the tears that were about to come out, he glared at Baek Seungyeon.
“Then, let’s do this.”
Taking advantage of his dropped guard, the door burst open from behind. Yoon Taerim, who barged in huffing, looked at Jung Sanho standing by the door and Baek Seungyeon backed against the opposite wall, and yelled angrily.
“Hey, you crazy bastard! How could you just leave like that!”
Whether he had thoughts or not, despite the pouring nagging, Jung Sanho’s expression didn’t change one bit. He stared intently at Baek Seungyeon and declared.
“If you two are dating, then I’ll date him too. I’ll be the second.”
“What? What the hell are you saying, are you crazy? What kind of bullshit is that?”
Yoon Taerim, who even let out a hollow laugh in absurdity, grabbed Jung Sanho’s shoulders and shook him vigorously.
However, Jung Sanho didn’t back down an inch. Irritably swatting away Yoon Taerim’s touch, he snapped sharply.
“The main wife can fucking back off!”
