Those words brought curiosity about the man. Yeah, at first it was definitely curiosity.
From then on, the scrawny man continued to show up at his official events. There were many male fans, but that person, with a small build, always stood far away, standing blankly with his gaze unable to leave him. Only after a bit more time passed did he learn that the man was a famous blogger who reviewed his works. He was a reviewer that his nosy manager praised endlessly every time.
Speaking to him was truly an impulsive action. After the broadcast filming ended, when he happened to run into the man at the secluded broadcasting station smoking area, he told him he enjoyed reading his blog. The man flinched and trembled, then smiled bashfully with an extremely happy face. That seemed to be the first time he saw Sangho’s sparkling eyes. Wonha, who was quick-witted, guessed at once upon seeing those eyes. This person likes me.
After that day, the man continued to appear at the smoking area. Every time he had broadcast filming. Thinking badly of it, one could misunderstand him as a sasaeng fan, but the man really didn’t do anything and seemed to just follow his traces. During the brief time a cigarette burned down, the two talked, or didn’t talk. Precisely, Sangho only spoke when Wonha spoke to him, and when Wonha was silent, he just silently smoked and stayed silent together.
And when he had performed the worst acting, unable to properly grasp the character in some difficult independent film, Wonha was under quite a lot of stress. He knew well that he hadn’t done his best, but no one threw sharp criticism about his acting. Even at the GV that followed, the conversation with the audience continued in a superficial manner. At that time, the scrawny man barely raised his hand from a far corner and said this:
“Some sorrows cannot be shared.”
Those words somehow dug into Wonha’s heart. The character he had acted terribly was a person with various complicated backgrounds, and he hadn’t been able to understand that character’s sorrow at all. So Wonha wanted to talk more with the man. The time it took for one cigarette to burn down wouldn’t be enough, so he should suggest having a drink. That’s why he quickly caught the man trying to disappear after the GV ended.
And at the drinking table, it seemed they talked about the work to their heart’s content. Actually, after exchanging the first few words, he got pleasantly tipsy from a couple glasses of soju, so his head was only full of thoughts that the man was quite cute, and he didn’t even remember what they talked about. The man, who always covered his face with his bangs, had a pretty face with neat features and a small mouth delicately arranged. And well, caught up in the atmosphere, they went to a hotel for the second round…
‘That night was really strange though.’
At first, he had definitely planned to drink a few more cans of beer and go home. Wonha laid the drunk and sleeping Sangho in his room and briefly stopped by a convenience store to buy more snacks when he happened to run into Nam Dohyun. Nam Dohyun, whom he had occasionally interacted with since childhood due to their families being close, was an unpleasant person who usually didn’t even glance at him in private settings.
But only that day, he stared intently at Wonha, then suddenly spoke to him in a friendly manner.
“It’s been a while.”
“Yes. Have you been well?”
“What brings you here? Did you come with a lover?”
“No. I just had some business.”
When Wonha vaguely glossed over the seemingly probing question, Nam Dohyun looked him over with cold eyes for just a fleeting moment. An unpleasant sensation surged, but he tried not to show it and put on a business smile. Then Nam Dohyun shrugged his shoulders, added a trivial greeting about seeing him at the next family gathering, and left the convenience store. While doing so, Nam Dohyun thrust his finger inside his shirt collar and rubbed his nape.
“Ah, what did you get on here? Be careful.”
“Ah, yes.”
The feeling of the long, cold fingers seemed quite unpleasant. But without saying anything else, he came back up to the room where Sangho was sleeping.
And that day, Sangho suddenly went into a heat cycle. The man who had been sleeping soundly sniffled a few times and took deep breaths when he entered the hotel room, then twisted his body in agony. Wonha, surprised by the sudden change, went to the bedside and stroked his hair, then the man clung to his nape and began pleading just like that. The sparkling large black eyes became hazy with heat, and the sight of saliva dripping from his moistening lips was creepily beautiful. Perhaps it was because of the drunkenness. Wonha didn’t refuse Sangho and held him all night.
‘At first, we definitely started quite heated up. But in the middle, he suddenly… was terrified. Why was that?’
No matter how much he thought about it, it didn’t seem like a situation where he would be greatly frightened. All that happened was one missed call from Nam Dohyun in the middle.
The sight of Sangho, who always calmly circled around him, being terrified was quite shocking. The black eyes that seemed dark somewhere were filled with self-loathing emotions, and he rambled and continuously apologized for dirtying him. He persuaded him several times that he had also done it because he liked it, but Sangho fell deeper into panic and ran out of the hotel room just like that.
After that, Wonha could never see Sangho again.
Though it was just a one-night affair, somehow Wonha kept seeing Sangho’s image before his eyes. He closed the blog he had always operated, and didn’t show his nose at events either. When the man who had been circling around him evaporated and disappeared, Wonha thought about the night of the GV almost every day and searched for traces of Sangho. However, there was no way to find the man who had completely disappeared.
Then, he happened to meet Sangho again at the Korea University smoking area.
He spoke to him as usual in his happiness, but this time Sangho seemed to strangely avoid him. Since Sangho had also run away from the hotel room, Wonha thought he should approach more carefully. He used the obvious ploy of suggesting they eat together once, but he was quite shocked when Sangho, with a bewildered face, roughly avoided the situation. Originally, when he spoke to him, he would blush and be shy.
‘Was sleeping with me that time not good?’
He thought to that extent.
And that night, at Sangho who unexpectedly visited the studio, Wonha was jumping with joy. There’s still interest in me left, he held expectations. He even brought out soju, which he didn’t usually drink well, wondering if he might remember drinking after the GV. Even knowing he was weak with alcohol, it was cute how he deliberately inflated his drinking capacity.
However, when he subtly brought up the GV story, Sangho blatantly changed the subject. He felt quite hurt by Sangho vaguely glossing over it, but since he had been so scared back then, he thought there must be some reason he wasn’t talking about it. He thought that maybe if they became closer, he would tell him then. So he made sure to properly save the phone number he hadn’t been able to get last time.
Even after that, Sangho tormented him by acting as if he would get close or not. Whatever made him so cautious, he seemed like a completely different person from before. Still, Wonha found Sangho’s appearance of focusing entirely on his words and rolling his eyes from time to time, and things like the spine bone protruding from his deeply bowed nape, maddeningly lovable. And when he subtly felt comfortable by his side and leaned on him, Wonha felt a satisfaction and joy that seemed to fill his heart.
‘When we get a bit closer, I’ll confess then.’
Since it was Sangho who had disappeared suddenly after their first relationship, he was going to slowly, very slowly work hard to keep him by his side so Sangho wouldn’t be surprised again. Though Wonha was thinking like that, an alpha named Han Kyungoh suddenly wedged himself between Sangho and him. A greenhorn, cocky alpha.
‘I didn’t know that bastard would touch him in the meantime.’
It was a moment when Wonha, who knew Sangho subtly relied on him, let his guard down. Hearing that Sangho was stubbornly staying at Han Kyungoh’s house during overseas filming, it felt like his eyes were spinning. After establishing a place next to Sangho, recalling Han Kyungoh who mocked it as ‘friend’, Wonha ground his teeth.
But Sangho, while truly not hiding even a single bit that he liked him, was strangely staying by Han Kyungoh’s side. Moreover, insisting he was a beta and not even taking suppressants, it was a succession of utterly incomprehensible actions. Then Wonha truly realized that Sangho really didn’t remember what happened at the GV. Wonha narrowed his brow and fell into contemplation.
‘It’s certain that hyung likes me. He can’t even refuse when I cry. But is there a reason to reject me this much? Except for me being a beta…’
Sangho had definitely said he didn’t dislike him because he was a beta. Rather, it seemed like Sangho had some kind of trauma that kicked in along with hyperventilation when a switch was pressed regarding something sexual. This time, fortunately, it seemed he maintained his sanity in bed until the end without showing hyperventilation symptoms or falling into panic like last time.
‘Is there some trauma related to traits? Then why Han Kyungoh…?’
It felt like puzzle pieces that didn’t fit were spinning around. But he knew well that Sangho wouldn’t open up first. Wonha, who closed his eyes and let out a deep sigh, rubbed his brow as if his head hurt. Wonha, who pressed a chu on Sangho’s cheek, gently stroked Sangho’s curly hair again. On the very thin upper body, Wonha’s marks were persistently covered over the marks that bastard had left.
Whatever happened however, the conclusion was one thing. As long as he knew Sangho’s heart was leaning toward him, he would absolutely not back down.
“You’re the one who wedged in. Han Kyungoh.”
The gently drooping eyes glinted sharply and lifted.
End of Volume 1
