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Mean Comments Written by My House Cat 15

# Chapter 15

The wind blew. The strong, fierce wind made it feel like my bangs were being blown away. I approached the window and looked around. There was no one near the hospital.

It was suspicious, but since I couldn’t move my body that much, I returned to the hospital bed. Even upside down, it was definitely a neck massager. Just like in the novel.

Good god… What kind of crazy person would bring something like this? This level of thoughtlessness means they must have zero empathy or social awareness, I thought as I clicked my tongue.

I put it on the bedside table without even thinking about unwrapping it. If I used a neck massager now, the neck vertebrae that had barely avoided fracture would dislocate. They might even break apart, vibrating along with the massager.

“People have all sorts of ways to mess with others. How much free time does this jerk have?”

In the novel, it ended without revealing who sent this gift. There had been no updates since then. There was only one suspicious person.

Kim Haewon.

He was the protagonist of that real-time serial novel. No matter how bad our relationship was, we were still in a pair relationship that needed to maintain connection. Besides, I was seriously injured while saving him this time, so if he had any conscience, he should at least have paid me a courtesy visit.

“This socially inept item is quite powerful evidence.”

It seemed like something Kim Haewon would buy without much thought. I injured my neck, so he sent something that could take care of the neck. If someone acted with only purpose in mind, without genuine consideration for others, this could be the result.

In the novel, I had no idea what kind of story they would create by connecting me and Kim Haewon through this. But already in the previous episode, differences between the Park Garam in the novel and the real me had begun to emerge. I didn’t pity him at all. No sense of justice arose in me either. That was also proof that the novel didn’t completely match reality.

It seemed like errors were occurring because they were trying to draw a romance line between Kim Haewon and me that could never happen in reality.

“As if anyone would fall in love with that jerk in the first place.”

I shuddered. It was a story that gave me goosebumps just imagining it. It would be the same even if he sent a hundred or a thousand gifts. A relationship that had already soured couldn’t possibly be improved by such things. He might not even have any desire for improvement. I gave a big yawn and fully leaned back on the bed.

The gift couldn’t hold much significance for me, and I drifted into a peaceful sleep as I had originally planned.

* * *

The problem started the next day. As in the novel, gifts began pouring in. A brand new phone, a high-performance bulletproof vest, and finally an expensive watch.

Even I, who didn’t know much about watches, recognized the brand. It was because a famous baseball player in the Major League promoted it. It cost more than my annual salary.

The gifts were getting increasingly expensive. I was almost afraid to see what would come next. After checking what each item was, I just gathered them all in one corner, exactly as they had arrived.

I told the Management Bureau that someone kept breaking into my hospital room, but they couldn’t catch the culprit. They couldn’t identify anyone on the CCTV in the hospital corridor, and the CCTV inside the room was broken every time.

The Management Bureau’s position was to wait and see since they found no bugging devices or cameras, and since I wasn’t being harmed—only receiving gifts. Of course, they assigned security personnel outside my room, but the culprit was never caught.

In the VIP ward, rumors spread that I was suffering from receiving gifts every day from what they called the “illegal Santa.” Some people came to see the gifts, but the security guards outside stopped them.

The rumor must have reached the Esper Bureau, as Secretary Hwang Changho came to visit me again. It was a welcome visit for me, as I considered Kim Haewon the most likely suspect.

“Wow, these are all really expensive. We use this product a lot in our Esper Bureau too.”

Hwang Changho examined the pile of gifts and pointed to the bulletproof vest. I immediately asked Hwang Changho, who had taken the bait.

“I guess Kim Haewon uses it too?”

“Our Esper doesn’t really like wearing anything under his mission clothes. He doesn’t wear it except for formal events requiring uniforms.”

“Is that so?”

Hwang Changho continued with a clear face that showed no intention of deception.

“If it’s too uncomfortable, please let me know. I’ll have your room changed. The Esper Bureau can certainly provide that level of support.”

“Is there an even better hospital room than this?”

“Yes, this is an S-class general single room. Besides this, there’s a premium single room and a prime single room. There’s not much difference in the rooms themselves. As the room grade increases, the security level increases.”

“What kind of room does Esper Kim Haewon use?”

“Since our Esper is SS-class, he only uses the prime grade. But he doesn’t really like hospitals, so his hospitalization periods are usually short.”

Hwang Changho generously provided information with good humor. I responded with “I see” and added:

“Kim Haewon seems to dislike a lot of things.”

“Ahaha, he does have distinct preferences.”

Hwang Changho seemed to have received such questions quite often. His skill in smoothly evading the topic didn’t seem like something developed overnight. Since I had no talent for speaking indirectly, I asked straight out.

“These gifts, did Kim Haewon send them?”

“Our Esper, you mean?”

Hwang Changho answered with an incredulous tone and looked at me. His expression suggested that such a thing couldn’t possibly exist in this world.

“I mean, I ended up like this because of Esper Kim Haewon. Isn’t he feeling guilty and playing this illegal Santa act?”

“Our Esper doesn’t seem to feel particularly guilty.”

“What did you say?”

When I snapped, Hwang Changho hunched his shoulders and blinked. He continued with an awkward smile.

“He tends to have difficulty deeply empathizing and communicating with emotional aspects…”

“So you’re saying Kim Haewon has no conscience?”

“No, no, no. That’s not what I meant… Our Esper is highly unlikely to consider such awkward actions. He just prefers to make quick bank transfers…”

At the mention of bank transfers, I made an expression of disgust. Hwang Changho laughed awkwardly and repeatedly clutched and released the document envelope he was holding. The edges of the document were damp, perhaps from his sweaty hands.

“Ah. So that’s why you’re here.”

“Pardon?”

“That document, it’s about giving me money, isn’t it?”

Hwang Changho pressed his lips together and just nodded. The neck massager almost seemed like the socially aware version in comparison. Money? Trying to smooth over his mistake with money without even an apology didn’t look good.

“You know this is illegal, right? Financial transactions between espers and guides are illegal according to Association guidelines. Right? Even in a pair relationship.”

“Of course. I know that. But considering that you were seriously injured for our Esper’s sake and suffered significant emotional trauma, we thought you might deserve this level of compensation… Actually, people affiliated with Esper Bureau 1 all engage in these kinds of financial transactions to some extent. Strictly speaking, it might be illegal, but if you could think of it as a small gesture of sincerity…”

“I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that. Take the documents back. Unlike some people, I don’t want to create even the slightest reason to be held accountable. I’ve persevered in this harsh Guide Bureau for 20 years, and now you want me to create such a blemish?”

I didn’t have impressive backing like Kim Haewon. For someone like me, committing misconduct would only result in loss. I would merely be giving stronger people an easy weakness to exploit.

There were many people around who wanted to find such weaknesses. There was Kim Haewon who made this offer, and Director Ham Minho of the Guide Bureau. And many others. Clearly, there were more people who disliked me than liked me. Why would I do such a thing for anyone else’s benefit?

“Still, if you could at least look at the amount and reconsider…”

“Ah, forget it. Forget it.”

As they say, the sight of valuables breeds desire—he would surely offer an enormous sum I’d never see elsewhere. But there’s no such thing as a free lunch in this world. It was obvious that if I accepted it, I wouldn’t be able to say a word against Kim Haewon from then on. And if Kim Haewon asked me to return the money after I’d spent it all, I would be the only one in trouble.

It was better not to be curious about such things at all, and not to accept them. I told Hwang Changho that if he was going to talk like that, he should leave, and pushed him out the door. Hwang Changho stood firm in the corridor and began trying to persuade me. He almost begged, asking if there wasn’t some way I could just look at it once, as if he would be scolded by Kim Haewon if he returned without giving me the money. I lifted the corners of my mouth into a smile and continued.

“Leave while I’m still asking nicely. It’s not happening, not with Kim Haewon’s secretary, not with Kim Haewon himself. Not with Kim Haewon’s grandfather, not with his great-grandfather. Just go!”

I pushed him completely toward the elevators and headed back to my room. After telling the security guards not to let anyone in, I closed the door. As I turned around, a refreshing breeze blew in.

Just like that day when the first gift had arrived. I reflexively looked toward the window where the wind was coming from. There was someone standing on the windowsill, looking at me.

He was holding a fruit basket in his hand. He appeared to be the person who had been sending me gifts these past few days. I was shocked to see a face I never expected and my mouth fell open.

“Esper Nam Ihyeon?”

It was Nam Ihyeon, the S-class esper known as the “rotten pepper” among guides.

Mean Comments Written by My House Cat

Mean Comments Written by My House Cat

Status: Completed Released: 2 Free Chapter Every Tuesday
"Those who leave hate comments shall pay for their sins by being possessed into a novel." C-class guide Park Garam was an avid reader of a fantasy novel featuring a protagonist in similar circumstances to his own. When that novel, his small joy in life, mercilessly killed off the protagonist and ended as a heroic tale of an S-class hero, Garam couldn't contain his anger and left a lengthy hate comment for the first time before falling asleep. Hurt by the hate comments on the ending, the author deleted all their writings and began serializing a new work. The problem is that Garam was possessed into that novel! And the genre isn't fantasy but BL! "BL? What's BL? What is that?" Suddenly becoming S-class, Garam struggles as he becomes the pair guide for Kim Haewon, South Korea's only SS-class esper. The two, with their clashing personalities, continuously butt heads as they begin searching for answers... Can this BL novel possibly end with a happy ending?  

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