Sangho, who’d received a bottle of suppressants from the hospital, trudged back to his studio apartment. The sun was now setting toward the west. His mind, which had been worrying all day, felt jumbled and mashed up.
It was still bright outside, but the semi-basement studio apartment was dim as if it were the middle of the night. The window with bars firmly embedded felt like a prison. Sangho entered the room without even turning on the light and put down his bag. Will I be able to go to work tomorrow? Han Kyungoh will keep exercising there. Recalling Han Kyungoh who’d stared through him with persistent, deep eyes, he got goosebumps and tears came.
I couldn’t even win, I shouldn’t have pushed him like that. Pathetic Lee Sangho. Weak Lee Sangho. Disgusting Lee Sangho. Like an idiot.
Tears flowed down his cheeks again. When Sangho quickly rolled up tissue to blow his nose, the omega suppressants rattled in his pocket from the recoil. Sangho took it out and stared at it blankly. The doctor recommended he keep taking suppressants consistently just in case. Then he should take them, but taking this seemed like he’d have to admit he was an omega.
Still, I should take it.
Sangho, who’d opened the suppressant bottle, took out one pill. He put it in his mouth just like that and took out a water bottle from the refrigerator to gulp down. Sangho, who’d roughly wiped the water flowing down the corner of his mouth with the back of his hand, felt an unbearable nausea a few seconds later. Sangho, who’d tried to endure it by standing still in that spot for a moment, ended up vomiting on the floor without even making it to the bathroom.
“Ugh, bleurgh…!”
With a splatter, the water he’d just drunk along with the undissolved suppressant burst out. After that too, Sangho dry-heaved and poured out everything in his stomach. On the sticky studio apartment floor, water and sour gastric acid were mixed together. When a disgusting smell rose, Sangho’s face instantly contorted and pitiful tears burst out.
“Hah, haah… waaah…”
Sangho’s crying echoed in the five-pyeong studio apartment, then became quiet as a mouse every time Sangho sobbed. That made Sangho, who felt even more pitiful, cry louder, and the sound of someone urgently running down from outside could be heard.
Bang bang bang!
“Hyung! Hyung, are you okay?! Hyung!”
It was Wonha’s voice.
At the rough pounding sound, Sangho looked at the front door with a startled face. Inside the room was a mess with vomit, and he himself wasn’t in a state for anyone to see either. Sangho barely spoke with a fumbling voice. It was a voice blocked from crying so much.
“Uh, yeah! I-I’m fine.”
Then the pounding sound from outside stopped—thud. In the meantime, Sangho glanced at the suppressants and quickly hid them between desk drawers. I need to clean the messy floor too, and change clothes. From his throat still remained the energy of having cried like a child, and hiccup sounds kept bursting out—hic hic. Then a sunken voice rang from outside.
“Open the door right now. Before I really get angry.”
It was a sound of being tremendously angry about something. Sangho stopped looking for a rag and looked at the dark entrance. Wonha seemed to be patiently waiting for Sangho to open the door.
Sangho hesitantly stood up from that spot. The room was still a mess, and his clothes were dirty and smelly with vomit stains. But he wanted to open that door. Sangho, who’d slowly approached the door, carefully unlocked the locked door mechanism.
Click.
“Can I come in?”
Even though the door had unlocked, Wonha asked from outside like that. When Sangho, who’d hesitated slightly, grabbed the handle and turned it, a creak sound of the door opening came. Sangho, who hadn’t fully opened the door, stuck half his face out through the ambiguous gap. It was an appearance steeped in fatigue and depression.
“Inside is… too dirty, you can’t.”
Wonha now had a complex face mixed with an angry face, a pitiful face, and relief that Sangho had opened the door. The hand that slowly extended gently touched his gaunt face. When the warm palm touched his cheek, Sangho somehow felt relieved.
“Ha… Okay. Just a moment, come here.”
Wonha took out a handkerchief from his pocket and wiped the corners of the mouth with vomit stains—swoosh swoosh. As if there were tear marks, he carefully swept under the eyes with his thumb and firmly wrapped the pale face with both hands. If I had a mother whose face I don’t know, would it be this feeling? Sangho closed his eyes at the warm, large hands and gently rubbed his cheeks.
“Hyung. Let’s go out for now. Eat something… Okay?”
“…”
“I won’t ask what happened. You don’t have to tell me. Let’s just go and rest.”
“Okay…”
As soon as Sangho’s permission fell, Wonha held his hand and headed to his car. Thoughts like needing to clean the floor or change clothes didn’t occur to him. Sitting in the passenger seat, Sangho just looked at his own knees with a dejected face. Wonha also didn’t say anything particular and drove toward the studio.
“Wash up first and come out. Should we eat something warm… something with broth?”
“Okay.”
“You can wear the pajamas you left last time. How about tofu udon? There’s a famous place near here, I’ll go buy it quickly.”
“Good.”
Though Sangho still couldn’t make eye contact, he answered consistently. Wonha smiled bitterly and lightly patted Sangho’s shoulder.
“The outside bathroom has a bathtub, so you can fill it and bathe. Then I’ll be back. It’ll take about 20 minutes.”
“Okay.”
When Wonha went outside the studio, Sangho, left alone, stared at the external bathroom blankly. When he carefully opened the door, Wonha seemed to mainly use this bathroom, as a razor and various items were placed there. Thud thud, Sangho, who’d taken off his clothes, entered the bathtub and crouched down. He turned on the water, and as warm water gradually filled up, the muscles that had been tense until now seemed to loosen. The vomit smell that had been wafting from his body since earlier was cleanly washed away, and filled with the cozy and sweet body wash scent that came from Wonha.
“…”
Only then did Sangho relax his brow that had been constantly frowning.
After finishing his bath, Sangho was drying off the moisture with a fluffy towel when he paused seeing his appearance reflected in the mirror. On his scrawny body, from the collarbone to the nape, blue and red marks remained here and there. Shame rose again instantly. Sangho, who’d quickly put on the pajamas, was relieved that fortunately the pajamas fit his body perfectly so the traces remaining on his body weren’t visible. Sangho fastened even the topmost button of the pajamas firmly and turned his head this way and that to check again whether any marks were visible before coming out of the bathroom.
“Done? I just put the clothes in the washing machine.”
“Okay…”
Wonha had already bought tofu udon and was setting it on the table. Steam rose from the tofu udon transferred to a large udon bowl. He’d probably reheated the packaged udon and put it in a bowl. A few shrimp tempura were also on a plate. When the plain and warm broth smell spread, Sangho quickly sat in a table chair.
“The noodles here are handmade. When the weather gets hotter, the cold udon is really delicious. Let’s go eat that again.”
“Cold udon… sounds delicious.”
“Eat quickly.”
Sangho, who’d been eating with his nose buried in the udon bowl like that, felt his surging emotions calm down a bit once his stomach was somewhat full. Wonha really wasn’t asking anything and was silently eating. Sangho hesitated a bit, then asked Wonha:
“You said this week’s schedule was packed.”
“Ah, that. I worked even harder. To finish quickly.”
“H-how did you come?”
“You called yesterday. I couldn’t answer then because of the schedule…”
Ah right. Come to think of it, he’d called Wonha yesterday before taking the legally required education to tell him about the Center Director’s disciplinary action. Since he didn’t answer, he’d thought he must be busy. He saw the missed call and came to see me.
Thump thump. Somehow his heart felt full and pounded. Wonha is really a good person. It was Wonha who made even himself, clumsy with people and even sensitive, feel comfortable. For such a good person… to get involved with that sociopath Nam Dohyun. And even Han Kyungoh?
His brow furrowed on its own. He didn’t want to see Wonha treating other people well.
Why?
At the first doubt that occurred to him, Sangho hesitated. Well… because we’re friends. If we’re friends, I should hope he meets a good person. Not a sociopath, or a beast who suddenly assaults.
“I’m sorry I couldn’t answer yesterday.”
“No. I just called to let you know the Center Director was getting severe disciplinary action. In the evening I had to take mandatory education and stuff, so it would have been hard to meet anyway…”
“Oh, good triumphs over evil ending.”
A chuckle came out at the silly joke.
“Mandatory education, you mean trait accident prevention and stuff like that?”
“Uh… How did you know?”
“Everyone in the industry has to take it. We also do it once a year at our agency. Plus, we have quite a few celebrities with alpha traits.”
“Ah really?”
“Yeah. It’s dangerous when rut comes. I almost got attacked once.”
