“What?”
“I need to know the contact information to contact you. No, aside from that, how could I contact you when I don’t even remember Mr. Yoo Seonjae?”
“Yeoul.”
“Being the baby’s father is one thing, but I don’t have any memories of you right now—what would I do by contacting you?”
I’m bewildered. Yeoul’s eyes looking at me feel endlessly cold. The eyes that always bloomed with affection when looking at me have nothing in them.
Ah, now I know. Why Yeoul was so unfamiliar. Because those eyes are directed not at ‘beloved Seonjae’ but just ‘Mr. Yoo Seonjae,’ because it’s not a gaze containing heart—that’s why it was so unfamiliar, I only now realized.
“If you heard from Kim Yeonghyo, at least you should know I’m your guardian—”
“But why was I alone on that island?”
“What?”
“Mr. Yoo Seonjae is my guardian, but why was I alone like that on an island? When I’m not alone?”
Yeoul looked at me intently and asked. I couldn’t answer and just looked at Yeoul with a dazed face. Yeoul stared at me like that for a while, then continued.
“It’s strange, isn’t it? You were supposedly crazy about each other, so why did you leave your pregnant husband alone on such an island? No matter how much I think about it, I can’t understand that. Did we break up?”
“Yeoul.”
“Or were we preparing to break up or something?”
“Yeoul, what—”
“Only the people involved know about a married couple. Yeonghyo said we were crazy about each other, but that might not be all there is.”
“No. No, Yeoul.”
“Then what? Why was I there alone?”
“……”
“Mr. Seonjae asked me why I didn’t contact you, but I’ll ask the opposite. Why didn’t Mr. Seonjae contact me?”
“That’s because I didn’t have your contact—”
“You didn’t know, right?”
“……”
“So. So that’s why I’m thinking we might have broken up.”
“I said no.”
My eyes grew hot. Yeoul coldly saying what he had to say was so heartless. Appearing before me after months, completely forgetting me and denying our relationship—Yeoul is so hurtful. Carrying my child in his belly yet not even remembering me, Han Yeoul… I hate him.
“We never broke up, I don’t intend to break up, and we can’t break up.”
“Mr. Yoo Seonjae? …Are you crying?”
“How could I break up with you? Can you do that?”
“Um, Mr. Yoo Seonjae?”
“Seonjae.”
“Pardon?”
“You should call me Seonjae.”
Once the tears started, they flowed without stopping. I disgracefully wet my face with tears and pleaded to Yeoul.
“Don’t treat me like a stranger like that, Yeoul. Don’t say you don’t know me, don’t be unfamiliar with me.”
“Mr. Seonjae.”
“Yeoul, honey. Don’t do that, please.”
“Hng, ah… w-wait a moment.”
I released my pheromones. If Yeoul can’t remember me, I needed to make him recall the me that his body remembers. What kind of relationship we are, what kind of days we’ve spent—even if his head can’t remember, that body will remember.
“Heu, heu, w-wait… wait, just, S-Seonjae, heuu… M-Mr. Yoo Seonjae.”
Heated moans leaked from Yeoul’s mouth. Yeoul, who had been sitting with his back straight, bent forward as if collapsing, grabbed his belly, and struggled desperately to hold back the moans leaking out.
Even if he doesn’t know, down below must be getting wet. Yeoul’s pheromones wafting to me were proving it.
I got up from my seat and sat down next to Yeoul. When I placed my hand on Yeoul’s shoulder, Yeoul flinched and trembled.
“Yeoul. It’s been a while, hasn’t it? How is it? Does it feel good?”
When I whispered softly in his ear, Yeoul trembled violently. I know that for him, whose ears are sensitive, it’s an unbearable stimulation. Even though it’s just a whisper, I also know that the stimulation his heated body accepts is great.
“Wh-what are you doing right now, heua!”
When I released thick pheromones once more, Yeoul moaned unconsciously and burrowed into my embrace. When I inhaled Yeoul’s faintly spreading pheromones deeply, I also heated up.
“Haah… Good. Yeoul’s pheromones.”
“Cr-crazy bastard. This is, hng, a p-public place…”
“It’s okay, Yeoul. No one will say anything about a husband giving his pregnant husband a pheromone shower because he’s having a hard time.”
“Heu… heu…”
Yeoul’s body was getting hotter and hotter. Feeling sorry that his masked face was turning red hot, I lowered it slightly, and Yeoul’s breathing became even rougher as if he could feel the pheromones even more intensely.
…Poor thing.
I took Yeoul’s red lips, which were exhaling hot breaths fully, into my mouth. While savoring his plump lower lip, Yeoul made a pained sound. Like before.
My pretty omega. My one and only husband, my beloved Yeoul. It doesn’t matter if you can’t remember me, Yeoul. Because I remember you.
“Let’s go home, Yeoul.”
I lifted up Yeoul, who couldn’t properly control his body.
Even in that situation, Yeoul squirmed trying to escape my embrace, but I paid no heed. As I continued to pour pheromones on him while soothing Yeoul, Yeoul soon exhaled evenly, then trembled finely and slowly released his pheromones.
When Yeoul’s pheromones reached me, I was wrapped in extreme comfort.
I only now realized how tensely I’d been living all this time. Days of never sleeping comfortably even once continued, and I thought it was just accumulated fatigue, but apparently that wasn’t it.
Only after being thoroughly covered with Yeoul’s pheromones did I realize that during that time, I’d been barely enduring the time without Yeoul through willpower alone.
If I’m in this state, what about Yeoul?
As soon as he met me, feeling comfort in my pheromones and his body heating up and squirming at the pheromones I pour on him like this—it definitely seems like Yeoul imprinted on me too. Otherwise, there’d be no reason to find other alphas’ pheromones repulsive.
Is it… because of the pregnancy?
Anyway, I was happy that Yeoul only reacted to my pheromones.
Blinded by that joy, I didn’t pay much attention to what state Yeoul in my arms was in. What was important to me now was that Yeoul was by my side, and the fact that he didn’t need any alpha other than me.
I put Yeoul, who kept making pained sounds, in the car and headed home.
Yeoul seemed to be muttering something, but I couldn’t hear it properly. No, I didn’t listen. I wanted to hurry and take Yeoul to our house, lay Yeoul on our bed, and fill the house where Yeoul’s scent was disappearing with Yeoul’s pheromones.
It’s a house that had been left lonely for nearly half a year, unable to find its owner. Now the owner is finally returning—could there be anything more joyful than this?
“Yeoul, just hold on a little. We’ll arrive at our house soon.”
“Hnngh, heuu…”
Pitifully drenched in cold sweat, Yeoul was buried in the seat, trembling all over. Since he was curled up tightly with his back to me, I couldn’t see his expression, but he wouldn’t refuse to go home either.
Even if he doesn’t remember, so what?
The moment he sets foot in the house anyway, he’ll instinctively realize it. That it’s his one and only sanctuary.
“Yeoul, we’re home. Pull yourself together.”
When we arrived home, Yeoul’s condition was more serious than I thought.
Until I carried Yeoul, soaked with sweat, into the house, Yeoul couldn’t pull himself together and was only intermittently making pained sounds. It was when I quickly entered the house thinking I needed to lay Yeoul down quickly.
“Huk… hueuk, huk.”
I flinched at the crying sound and looked down at Yeoul in my arms.
Seeing Yeoul sobbing while trembling violently with his lips bitten tightly, my vision grew distant.
I couldn’t understand the situation before my eyes. I clearly brought Yeoul home to make him comfortable, yet Yeoul is sobbing with a more pained expression than any time I’ve ever seen.
Did what I did for Yeoul become pain for him? What on earth is the problem?
“Yeoul…”
I laid Yeoul on the bed, but Yeoul didn’t uncurl his body and just stayed huddled in a corner of the bed, still trembling and crying.
“Yeoul, what’s wrong? This is our house. This is our house where you’re most comfortable, Yeoul.”
I placed my hand on his shoulder to soothe Yeoul, but Yeoul flinched in surprise and avoided my hand.
Unfamiliar. Yeoul avoiding me is so unfamiliar.
“…I can’t believe it.”
“What?”
The words Yeoul barely managed to spit out while trembling were bewildering. I didn’t understand those words and asked Yeoul again.
“Y-Yeonghyo too said it, and in my notebook, hnngh, it was written. Y-Yoo Seonjae… hng, cherishes Han Yeoul more than anyone.”
“Right. Right, Yeoul. Why is that?”
“Heu.”
Yeoul trembled violently as if unable to bear it. His hands clutching his belly had turned pale white. I was worried about him like that and released a bit more pheromones. Then, far from being comfortable, Yeoul made even more pained sounds and shed thick tears streaming down.
What is it? What…
Am I hurting Yeoul? Why? Yeoul said that pheromones other than mine made him nauseous just by being nearby.
“Li-lies.”
“What?”
“It’s a lie.”
Yeoul barely raised his head and looked at me.
His face, soaked with sweat, had turned pale white, but his gaze toward me was upright. From that gaze, I could read at once how much he distrusted me, how much hostility he held toward me.
My heart dropped.
This isn’t the face Yeoul shows me. Never once in my life have I thought Han Yeoul would look at me with such eyes—why are we, why am I facing him with such an expression now?
When I withdrew the pheromones a bit, only then did Yeoul seem to breathe more easily, taking several deep breaths to catch his breath, then said in a cold voice:
“If you really loved Han Yeoul, you couldn’t do this.”
“What do you mean, Yeoul? I’m doing everything for you—”
“No? I clearly told you. That I don’t remember you. Even when you poured pheromones on me, I clearly said it. To stop.”
“Yeoul, that…”
“You didn’t listen to me at all. You had no interest in what I was saying at all. Whether I pleaded or cried out, regardless of that, you covered me with pheromones and forcibly brought me here.”
“No, Yeoul. That’s—this is our house. You have to come home, Yeoul. This is where you should be.”
“No? I have a separate home right now. The place I’m staying now is my home. I was planning to gradually interact with you and search for memories together. Anyway, it seems certain I was married to you. But no. Now I have no intention of doing that.”
“Yeoul.”
“There was a reason I ran away.”
“What?”
“Seeing what you’re doing now, I know for sure. You didn’t love me, did you?”
“What do you mean, Yeoul?”
“Dragging me around however you please without thinking at all about how I feel or what situation I’m in—that’s not called love.”
“Yeoul, what are you saying? When did I…”
“If you see one, don’t you know ten? The fact that I left without staying by your side even though I’m carrying a child means there really was a problem. Whether with you or with me. Anyway, our relationship ended. Right?”
I couldn’t answer anything. Because the words Yeoul unilaterally said to me that morning, the day he left, kept spinning round and round in my head.
[I love you, Seonjae. So let’s divorce.]
I worried about it for a long time.
Can the words “let’s divorce” and “I love you” coexist? It tormented me constantly. What on earth was Yeoul thinking to leave me while saying such nonsensical things? If you love someone, you should stay by their side—why would you think about leaving?
That’s why I couldn’t let Yeoul go. Even while looking at the divorce papers he left for me, the reason I denied it and couldn’t accept it as reality was because of Yeoul’s words.
Because of those words that I love you, those words that were like daily life for us.
But now with that mouth that said those words, with that mouth that bound me and prevented me from going anywhere, he says my love isn’t love. He says our relationship is over.
“What answer do you want to hear from me?”
“What?”
“My husband, who left home and I’m meeting for the first time in half a year, is pregnant with a swollen belly and can’t even remember me. While trying to reconfirm that our relationship, which never ended, is over—what am I supposed to do?”
I kept laughing.
I feel like shit, but I don’t know why I keep laughing. Yeoul’s eyes held fear as he looked at me continuously laughing emptily.
“Why are you looking at me like that?”
Pheromones were leaking out again. I couldn’t control it. Just the fact that my omega who rejects me is before my eyes—the alpha’s ego endlessly emitted pheromones as if to prove its existence.
Yeoul gasped for breath again. Looking at his face gradually reddening, I thought:
Yeoul’s heated face, which I’m seeing after so long, is so pretty.
“Hahngh! Ah…!”
Yeoul, who had been looking at me, let out a shrill moan, arched his body like a bow, and trembled. His hand clutching the sheets trembled violently. Unable to endure the stimulation from the pheromones continuously being poured on him, Yeoul flinched several times.
“If it’s over, why do you like it so much, honey?”
“Heuu, uh…”
“Does the baby like it too? Daddy’s pheromones?”
I reached out and placed my hand on Yeoul’s slightly swollen belly.
I wondered if I could feel something wriggling inside the belly, but I didn’t feel anything. Seeing how quiet it was even though I poured so many pheromones on it, I laughed thinking this baby must be introverted, taking after Yeoul.
“…Remove your hand.”
But my head cooled at Yeoul’s words, spat out as if chewing them while twisting his body.
He doesn’t even remember me, rejects my touch, won’t let me touch my child. If I leave it like this… is he planning to run away again?
“Yeoul, I can’t stand to see my husband living like a beggar somewhere again.”
“Hng—”
“So.”
I gently grasped Yeoul’s wrist.
“Even if it’s a bit uncomfortable, you endure it.”
