I was frustrated.
I don’t understand why Han Yeoul has to cry over such a trivial matter, and I can’t understand why Han Yeoul is glaring at me like he’ll kill me and shouting over this.
It was all to protect Han Yeoul. Because I’ve been stuck right by his side protecting him all this time, Han Yeoul has been able to live without seeing the dirty sights of the world. The mere fact that I, Yoo Seonjae who is a dominant alpha, am stuck by his side transforms Han Yeoul from a recessive omega that anyone could casually mess with into Yoo Seonjae’s omega who cannot be carelessly handled.
Messing with a recessive omega is easy. But if that recessive omega is Yoo Seonjae’s, if it’s Yoo Seonjae’s who is a dominant alpha and the bloodline of Pine Furniture, the story changes.
That’s why Han Yeoul needed me.
In that place where he had just taken his first steps, different from how he had lived until now, they don’t know who Han Yeoul is. So I had to let them know. That a ‘dominant alpha’ who wraps him round and round with pheromones without the person himself knowing and sends him outside the house is living with him.
Is that… so wrong?
I didn’t want to apologize. I really did nothing wrong.
After glaring at me like that for a while, Han Yeoul went straight into his room and locked the door. I thought I heard crying sounds, but those sounds only subsided after quite a while.
After that, Han Yeoul didn’t come out of his room even one step except when going to work.
For the first time, I regretted having made a bathroom and toilet in each room for comfort when spending nights in our separate rooms while using separate rooms.
Even though he didn’t take the juice I had changed out, even though he pretended I didn’t exist, still, when he left the house, I tried to douse Han Yeoul with my pheromones. But I couldn’t.
The moment I approached him, Han Yeoul hysterically screamed at me to get lost, and seeing Han Yeoul’s appearance that I had never seen in my life, I had to make a new plan.
A month and a half.
Exactly a month and a half.
During that time, I observed Han Yeoul closely. While pretending to try to treat Han Yeoul no differently than usual, inside I thought. How can I keep Han Yeoul within my sight without making him feel bad?
As time passed, the traces of my pheromones gradually disappeared and Han Yeoul’s pheromones became thicker.
It was dangerous. If I left it like this, disgusting alphas would really swarm. I didn’t want to see that sight. These were Han Yeoul’s pheromones that I had barely covered up, and I didn’t want other bastards to know about them now.
How sweet and warm Han Yeoul’s pheromones are.
I should be the only one in the world who knows that. That’s why. That’s why I knelt before Han Yeoul.
“Honestly, I still don’t think my actions were wrong.”
“What?”
“But I’ll apologize.”
Looking at me kneeling, Han Yeoul frowned at my words saying I didn’t do anything wrong, even while flustered. Han Yeoul’s face that I saw after a long time was terrible. So dried up as if he couldn’t even get porridge. Does that damn company not even feed its employees?
“The fact that you were hurt because of me is my fault no matter what anyone says.”
“……”
“I was wrong. Even if I think about it a hundred times, I was wrong, honey.”
It was sincere.
Whatever the reason, I didn’t want to see Han Yeoul’s body deteriorate because of me. Even less his heart.
So I must apologize. Apologize and be forgiven.
“Heuheuk…”
He’s crying. My Yeoul. My heart aches. It hurts my heart so much to see a child whose smiling face is the prettiest in the world cry like that.
“Don’t cry.”
I got up and pulled Han Yeoul into my arms.
“Don’t cry, Yeoul-ah. I was wrong.”
Han Yeoul cried loudly in my arms for a long time, as if pouring out all the grief inside him.
“Actually, I didn’t intend to go this far.”
Barely holding back his hiccupping breaths and leaning on my shoulder, Han Yeoul whispered. I know. I know Han Yeoul isn’t such a harsh person. It was obvious how much that soft-hearted child hurt his own heart while treating me like a transparent person for a month and a half, not even making eye contact with me, not even mixing words with me.
He’s a child who doesn’t know how to hurt other people. If he hurts someone, he’s a child who will be hurt even more himself. That’s why I had to apologize. That was right.
However, the reason I didn’t apologize sooner was… because I was a little upset too. And because I had to think about the next step.
“I’m sorry for hurting you, Yeoul-ah.”
“No. I’m sorry too for getting angry, Seonjae-ya.”
I bit down on Han Yeoul’s lips. They were sweet and soft lips that I was tasting after such a long time.
Our first fight ended with Han Yeoul’s heat cycle.
When my pheromones that had been suppressing his disappeared, Han Yeoul—who had unknowingly been suppressing his own pheromones all this time because of my pheromone shower—had his omega pheromones run wild.
The moment the tension that had been suppressing them even a little was released, his whole body heating up was perhaps a natural progression.
Han Yeoul during his heat cycle is overwhelming even for me. Watching Han Yeoul emit an insanely sweet scent and endlessly crave an alpha, I thought that if I wasn’t careful, I too might get swept up in a rut cycle.
Because I know what he’s like in that state, perhaps that’s why I’m even more anxious.
Because he heated up that intensely, once a heat cycle passed, Han Yeoul would fall severely ill. At first, I worried it was because I handled him too roughly, but the genetics medicine department said it was because he was born with weak stamina, and his recessive omega constitution couldn’t fully contain the exploding pheromones.
In the end, heat cycles give Han Yeoul ecstasy, but they’re accompanied by pain. Ordinary omegas endure severe heat cycles because it’s a process for ‘pregnancy,’ but for Han Yeoul, whose pregnancy probability doesn’t even reach 1%, is that really meaningful pain?
That’s why I normally suppressed Han Yeoul’s pheromones with mine. The heat cycle that usually comes once a month for most people came to Han Yeoul once every two months thanks to that, and sometimes even once every six months.
But since my pheromones that had been blocking his own pheromones disappeared, Han Yeoul ended up taking sick leave for a heat cycle that came after a long while.
It was one week.
For one week, Han Yeoul didn’t let me go even while suffering in pain.
There was another reason why Han Yeoul’s heat cycle didn’t end quickly. It was that I didn’t knot.
Knotting is the final process for pregnancy. It clings like a hook to the omega’s womb and doesn’t detach until everything inside me is poured into it. That process is accompanied by tremendous pain. At the end of that pain, new life is born.
So…
That too is unnecessary pain for Han Yeoul.
When he can’t even have a child, does he need to suffer through that pain? An alpha’s satisfaction? If that kind of thing makes my omega suffer, I’m fine never being satisfied for the rest of my life. As long as I could hold Han Yeoul, that fact alone was satisfying enough for me.
I agonized over it. The pain from a prolonged heat cycle versus the pain from knotting. Which would be harder?
The conclusion was obvious. If the heat cycle continues, I just need to keep holding him. Even if my thing wears down and gets rubbed raw, I just need to keep holding and embracing him whenever Han Yeoul wants. That’s much better than knotting that comes with pain for no reward.
That’s why during that week of sick leave, I carefully, gently held, coaxed, and soothed Han Yeoul.
After that day, we made one promise.
‘We won’t do pheromone showers or marking without each other’s consent.’
When my pheromones disappeared, Han Yeoul seemed to finally realize what happens to him. So instead of refusing outright, he asked that everything be done so he could ‘recognize’ it.
I wasn’t pleased. I didn’t like that Han Yeoul would know things he didn’t need to know and end up having complicated thoughts, but since Han Yeoul wanted it, I had no choice but to comply. I didn’t want to see his heart struggling anymore.
“Then, Yeoul. Let’s write a contract.”
“A contract?”
“Yeah. Promises made with words have no power. Words are just things that scatter into the air and disappear anyway. So let’s leave it in writing.”
“Is that necessary?”
