“Yeah. Salone del Mobile.”
I knew it.
“Artist Yoo Seonjae was invited there as a special guest this time. Is this an ordinary matter? So go and check out the design trends these days, yeah?”
…What kind of furniture company is this?
It must have been Yoo Seonjae’s influence. It’s not like he has separation anxiety, but it’s always like this. This is probably why he’s giving work to the company I attend.
“Yes… well.”
It’s not something I can refuse, and although it looks like a request, that’s an order. So I have no choice but to follow.
“I’ll attach Park Jeongin-ssi, so don’t worry about the practical work.”
Ah, that’s too transparent.
“Yes, understood.”
I see. His face was bright yesterday saying he was going on a business trip. There was a reason for everything, Yoo Seonjae.
*
“Oh, this is my first time in Milan!”
Junior Park Jeongin’s face was full of excitement. Even though if she goes on a business trip with me, she’ll end up taking on all the miscellaneous tasks anyway—what’s so good about it to have such an excited face? Making people feel sorry.
“Is that so?”
“Yes! Thanks to Senior Han, I even get to ride first class—I’ve made it.”
“Haha, making it with something like that.”
“No, really. With company money, they never book anything above economy for rookies like us.”
Is that so…
Well, yeah. I haven’t really had any notable business trips until now. Even if I had, ‘someone’s’ influence would have been involved, so the situation wouldn’t have been much different from now.
“Was Jeongin-ssi a beta?”
“Yes.”
“I see. Then is your boyfriend also a beta?”
“Yes. After all, it’s more comfortable for both sides to meet with similar types.”
Similar types…
Are Yoo Seonjae and I similar types?
Things I hadn’t thought much about are now coming to me bigger and bigger. I stepped out of the fence that Dad had firmly built so as not to be ashamed to him and entered society, but then Yoo Seonjae is now building an even bigger fence than Dad.
No one is harmed by it, so it doesn’t matter, but the thought of whether this is okay has always remained in one corner of my heart.
I thought everyone lived like that, but it turned out everyone was living so diligently that I wondered if I had been living too easily all this time. The company was happy that sales increased because of me, but that’s actually not because of me but because of Yoo Seonjae.
He does it supposedly to establish my prestige, but is that really good for me? Moreover, I even thought that maybe it’s not about my prestige but just expanding his own boundary to control me trying to escape outside. Anyway, Yoo Seonjae can’t stand even a single moment without him in my sphere of life.
Even though it’s much better now, even that pheromone incident in the early days of employment…
“Senior, what are you thinking about so intently? Are you excited to go see your husband?”
I came out of my thoughts at Park Jeongin’s words.
“Excited? I was only apart for a day.”
It’s ridiculous now that I say it. Actually, yeah, I saw him yesterday morning. Yoo Seonjae’s business trip was for a week. He made such a fuss in the morning saying it was the first time being apart this long since birth, and even though he looked regretful as he left, his steps looked light.
If it’s going to be like this, just tell me everything and let’s go together.
“How can you be so lovey-dovey? Really, just watching Artist You look at Senior, honey is dripping?”
“Is that so…”
“Of course. What’s the secret to being loved so much?”
The secret to being loved… There’s no such thing. Just—
“I like him more.”
“What?”
“I like him much, much more, Yoo Seonjae.”
Park Jeongin squealed and covered her reddened face while stamping her feet. She seems to find this kind of story fun. Well, what story is more interesting than other people’s love lives?
I, who have not even a speck of interest in other people’s love lives, was a bit flustered every time people asked about Yoo Seonjae. Why are they so curious about someone else’s husband to ask? Moreover, sometimes I get confused whether the Yoo Seonjae I know and the Yoo Seonjae people know are the same person, so I wasn’t very pleased when people asked about him.
“Yoo Seonjae? Ah, that hot-tempered alpha?”
“Yoo Seonjae was famous. For calling in kids who didn’t listen and beating them up.”
“Yoo Seonjae smiles a lot? You’re talking about the same person as me, right?”
When I talked about Yoo Seonjae with people I met outside the company, nine out of ten said things like that. They’re people who went to the same school, did the same club activities—why are they speaking so badly about Yoo Seonjae?
The Yoo Seonjae I remember was kind and gentle to everyone. When we were together, he never once acted viciously or frowned.
“I’m really so happy to be on the same team as Senior.”
“Hm?”
Park Jeongin said while diligently mixing the bibimbap that came out as in-flight meal.
“I’m a beta, you know. As you know, it’s not easy for betas to be assigned to big projects, but thanks to Senior, betas got a lot of opportunities. How should I put it, Senior is kind of like a savior among betas.”
“Savior?”
“No, a lifeline?”
Seeing my puzzled face, Park Jeongin took a bite of bibimbap.
“Wow, this is really good. First class is different even with food.”
“Continue that story, what’s this about a savior and lifeline?”
“Ah, you didn’t know, Senior?”
“What?”
“When Team Leader Lee restructured the team centered around you, he excluded all the alphas?”
Excluded alphas? Well, come to think of it, our team was all betas except for me. The team leader was also a beta.
“On purpose… he did it like that?”
“Yes. That was supposedly the condition?”
“Condition? What condition?”
“The condition for Artist You to contract with our company.”
*
“Then, I shall move to diligently perform my assigned duties. You two don’t worry about me and faithfully perform your ‘work.'”
As soon as we arrived at the lodging, Park Jeongin got off in the middle of the elevator and dragged her rattling carrier to find her room. Yoo Seonjae, who had come to pick us up from the airport, said goodbye to her, and as soon as the elevator door closed, he hugged me.
“Honey, you must be tired from taking the plane.”
“Tired? I came comfortably.”
My mind was complicated, but still, I was happy to see Yoo Seonjae’s face. Right, it was all done out of concern for me, so understand. I can understand.
“Ta-da— I set everything up in advance so you can rest comfortably when you arrive, honey.”
As soon as we arrived at the penthouse, Yoo Seonjae opened the door and took off my outer clothes while leading me to the table. I sat down where he led me and chewed the grape he put in my mouth. The juice that burst with a pop should have been refreshingly sweet, but I didn’t feel anything.
Yoo Seonjae—how far is he involved in my life? Are we, is this okay as we are?
“Yoo Seonjae.”
“Yeah?”
Yoo Seonjae looked at me with a flustered face.
“Honey, when you call my name with the full surname like that, I get nervous.”
Really? You get nervous too? I didn’t know. You’re always so confident, Yoo Seonjae.
“Why get nervous? What’s with me calling you that?”
“What’s wrong, honey, are you tired? Or did something happen?”
Yoo Seonjae stopped hanging my clothes in the closet midway, came over, knelt down in front of me and looked up at me. Does he think I’ll fall for that puppy-dog expression again? No, honestly speaking, I want to fall for it, but right now that’s not what’s important.
I love any version of Yoo Seonjae, so why doesn’t Yoo Seonjae show me his everything? I’m… a bit angry. So I did it.
“Honey.”
“Yeah.”
“I have a wish.”
“A wish?”
It’s a bit embarrassing to call it a wish, insignificant, but something I couldn’t say until now. Something that hurt my pride a little, and made me a tiny bit sad.
“To me…”
“Yeah, to you?”
“I want you to knot me.”
Yoo Seonjae’s expression turned cold. I know he won’t knot me. Even so, I didn’t know he’d dislike it so blatantly like this.
“Yeoul, honey.”
“Why do you hate it so much?”
“Yeoul.”
“Do you not love me?”
“Han Yeoul! How can you say that?”
“Then! Then why…”
I’m embarrassed. I wanted to hide in a mouse hole if there was one. I never imagined I’d be saying something like this with my own mouth, that I’d be saying this kind of thing in this kind of place like this.
“Why won’t you go all the way with me?”
“Yeoul…”
“Because I might get hurt? Since I can’t have a baby anyway, why do something painful?”
Yoo Seonjae’s face looking at me became blurred with tears. I shouldn’t have had this conversation as soon as I saw his face, but how did it come to this?
“Then you!”
Yoo Seonjae’s expressionless face was gradually distorting. I don’t know if it’s because my crying appearance is ugly, or if it’s because he feels sorry. At this moment right now, I’m just unable to control the grief bursting out from inside me and throwing a tantrum at Yoo Seonjae.
“Are you okay with half-baked sex where you’re not even satisfied for life?”
“Yeoul…”
“Knotting is the end! Every time you can’t even go to the end and you finish ambiguously.”
“Yeoul, that’s…”
“Why do you only make me feel good? Why only me, why only to me? You… you should feel good too, Seonjae. We’re married.”
Yoo Seonjae dry-washed his face and bit his lips. As I brought it up, I knew. I wasn’t hurt that he didn’t knot me. I was ashamed that I wasn’t someone he could be completely satisfied with.
If I’m satisfied alone every time, happy alone… then what? Yoo Seonjae isn’t a sex toy for me. Seonjae should… be happy too. Feel good too.
“I don’t like it being good only for me, Seonjae.”
“Yeoul…”
“It’s okay even if it hurts. I won’t die from hurting a little like that. So what if it hurts? Your face is a panacea—will I break from you hurting me a little?”
“Ha…, Yeoul. Still.”
“I said it’s a wish.”
I wiped my tears and stood up from my seat. I had no intention of backing down now either.
“Didn’t Yoo Seonjae grant all of Han Yeoul’s wishes?”
“Yeoul.”
I unbuttoned my shirt one by one. Actually, I’ve been wanting to do this all along but held back.
“Yeoul, you…”
At my pheromones bursting out explosively, Yoo Seonjae looked at me not knowing what to do, breathing heavily.
“Recently… I worked too hard so my cycle must have changed. I didn’t know I’d be going on a business trip so I didn’t pack suppressants separately, but I felt strange from the airport.”
My legs trembled as I approached Yoo Seonjae while dropping my clothes one by one. Ah, it was the precursor of an intense heat cycle coming after so long that even I didn’t know what to do with my heated body.
“But honey, I didn’t take medicine on purpose.”
“Yeo, Yeoul—”
I held his lips just like that. I had already taken off all my clothes. Unable to do anything about me leaning against him naked and holding his lips, Yoo Seonjae also started emitting his pheromones intensely.
When our lips barely separated, I whispered in Yoo Seonjae’s ear while breathing heavily.
“Haa… So honey, knot me.”
