“…Pardon?”
“Ten years. Not nine. He manifested on his high school entrance ceremony day, and Esper Do Ganghyun turns twenty-seven this year. So it’s been a full ten years.”
At my words, the Center official fell silent for a long while, seemingly displeased. The already awkward atmosphere became even heavier.
My shoulders, which had been hunched since I’d visited the Center, shrank even more, but I couldn’t back down on this point. The man before me, a Center official, needed to know properly about his affiliated Esper. Especially in the current situation where he owed a debt on a national level.
“Are you acquainted with Esper Do Ganghyun?”
“No. I’m just, um… a fan. One of long standing.”
I smiled awkwardly and avoided his gaze.
It wasn’t wrong either. It was a relationship where one side unilaterally looked at and remembered the other, so it wasn’t much different from being a fan. Of course, I’d also become an actual fan starting from my first meeting with him.
Come to think of it, this will be our second meeting.
With that thought, my heart trembled helplessly. It was quite different from when I first heard the news of being matched with Esper Do Ganghyun and couldn’t accept reality. The realization came belatedly that I might be able to help the person I’d only thought I’d spend my life watching and cheering for, under the closest name possible—pair.
…Could he perhaps remember me?
Just as a Guide’s most memorable moment is their ‘first meeting with an Esper,’ the reverse was the same. I’d heard the reverse was even more intense. An Esper’s possessiveness toward their Guide was an instinct carved into their DNA.
So even though it had been a brief meeting three years ago that passed by fleetingly, if it was the first meeting with his pair Guide before manifestation, he might recall the memory.
Even if he didn’t, it was fine. My relationship with Esper Do Ganghyun was just beginning, and there would be plenty of opportunities to talk. While proceeding with the pair contract, I could tell him directly, to him who would remember today as our first meeting. That I’d cheered for him for a long time, and that our first meeting was the conversation lasting just over ten minutes at the hospital three years ago.
How would Esper Do Ganghyun react upon hearing that? He might make a fuss about it being destiny or show a bright smile, or he might apologize for not remembering. Then I planned to shyly meet his eyes and smile brightly, saying it was fine either way.
Because back then, all I did was cry.
While I was making various assumptions and filled with anticipation like that…
“This is ‘that’ C-rank?”
After a long wait, an entirely unexpected reaction came from him when we finally met.
The shattering of expectations was quick, and his storming out was even quicker.
“I came just in case, but what utter trash.”
Only his dagger-like remark remained lodged in my heart. Along with the reality that I couldn’t end my long one-sided love despite his sharp criticism.
***
“Why am I having this dream now…”
I opened my eyes while gasping for breath. The remnants of the nightmare were visible in my hoarse voice and damp eyes. I usually never dreamed, so I thought I must have been quite tired.
Though it’s not really something to call a nightmare.
I subtly shifted my gaze to the side. Through the guard rails fixed to the patient bed, I saw a skeletal arm and the IV line connected to it.
Right, this was a nightmare.
This moment with my only family member lying in a hospital room with a terminal diagnosis, wishing it were a dream but feeling harsh reality—this was the nightmare. Not some moment like being rejected by a pair Esper.
An SS-rank Esper’s pair is guaranteed a salary beyond imagination. Esper Do Ganghyun recently even experienced rampage danger, so you can name your price.
It wasn’t even a proper rejection. Regardless of the person’s opinion, the Center desperately wanted to make the pair contract between me and Esper Do Ganghyun happen.
I hear Guide Myeong Eunha’s grandmother is quite ill…
Later, someone who identified themselves as the Center Director visited and added this as if they could see right through my circumstances.
Don’t you want to help? Both your grandmother and Esper Do Ganghyun.
You said you were a fan, didn’t you? The Center Director’s voice seemed to ring vividly in my ears again. It had already been over a year since then. Probably because I hadn’t been able to properly help either my grandmother or Esper Do Ganghyun.
“Maybe I should just go to work.”
I murmured softly and lifted my heavy body. It was better to go to work early than to lie still and sink into the past.
The caregiver’s cot creaked and echoed through the hospital room, and that resonance shook even the patient bed. Despite the considerable swaying, Grandmother’s body didn’t move a bit, as if dead.
At that sight, my heart sank for no reason.
“Grandmother?”
Just in case, I brought my index finger under Grandmother’s nose. It was a habit I’d developed recently.
When faint breath was transmitted to my finger, only then did I notice the vital signs monitor positioned in one corner of the room. A sigh of relief burst out at the monitor displaying stable numbers.
“Thank goodness…”
Grandmother’s waking hours had been noticeably decreasing, which had already been making me anxious. Thanks to that, I was commuting to and from the hospital while residing there despite having a perfectly good Guide dormitory, and I could definitely feel my nerves on edge.
Thinking I’d get sick myself at this rate as the caregiver, I hurriedly finished preparing for work. Either way, the current treatment environment could only be maintained if I kept working.
As soon as I left the hospital, cold wind rushed at my face. Even though it was still September, the end of the month, it could still be called autumn, but the weather already seemed to have entered winter.
I hunched my shoulders to the fullest, feeling somehow restless.
I should gradually pack some winter clothes. Will I have time?
Fortunately, there was a shuttle bus between the Center and the hospital, so there was no problem moving luggage. Instead, since the operating hours were short, I’d need to stop by the dormitory and pack clothes in advance.
While organizing my daily route like that, I boarded the bus. It was quick to the Center.
Has it been too long since I came?
Having not come for just a little over a month, the way to the dormitory already felt unfamiliar.
With a fresh feeling, as I entered the Guide dormitory located in the annex, several strange gazes followed from somewhere. I’d only received such gazes in the early days when I’d formed a pair with Do Ganghyun, so it was odd.
However, everyone only glanced while not directly speaking to me.
Feeling awkward for no reason, I hurriedly moved my steps. I planned to go straight up to my room in one go.
The surroundings seemed greatly agitated by my appearance, but still, there was nothing I could guess.
No, there was no need to guess. As soon as I got off the elevator, I heard a familiar voice. Why people had shown such agitation was quickly revealed through that conversation.
“But can we really do this here? What if he suddenly comes back?”
“Him? As if. It’s been over a month since he left to nurse his dying grandmother. He’ll never come back.”
“Still, I’m nervous…”
What is this?
My legs trembled as I passed through the corridor toward my room. The closer I got, the clearer the conversation became, and conversely, my mind grew hazier.
No way…
My head spun fiercely while imagining the worst. I couldn’t tell if the panting breath was mine or theirs coming from inside the room. In the dizzying situation, I barely managed to reach the door…
“Stop thinking useless thoughts and just focus on me.”
Through the open door, I saw Do Ganghyun mixing tongues with another Guide.
“…”
What should one say when faced with the sight of one’s pair Esper kissing another Guide?
“Didn’t you just hear a sound—mmph!”
“Nothing.”
No, are words even needed?
Close the door.
My Esper had already issued an eviction order with cold eyes.
It seemed I was the only one who felt the need for conversation in this encountered situation. The Guide with their top half-slipped and draped over their arm was offering their lips to Do Ganghyun while tousling his hair with their hand, and Do Ganghyun, allowing that Guide’s touch, was boldly making eye contact with me while warning me.
What that image signified was one thing.
Severance.
It was a declaration that the unwelcome guest in this place was Myeong Eunha—myself. Even though it was clear who the room’s owner was, who the victim was.
Recognizing this, my heart caused deep pain as if it had stopped. I felt nauseous, and my head rang hollowly, making it difficult to easily collect myself.
I couldn’t even deduce what was causing these symptoms. There were too many possibilities—unfairness, anger, resentment. What was certain was that all of them made everything inside me noisy, including my head.
As I hesitated like that, unable to fully enter the room or easily back away, a short warning sound of “Beep!” rang out. The sensor that detected a presence in front of the door that wasn’t properly closed had activated.
Startled, I shrank my body, and at the same time, my eyes met Do Ganghyun’s once more. He separated his lips that had been pressed against the Guide’s, his brow furrowed deeply as if annoyed.
And I, who had witnessed that entire process…
Bang!
Hurriedly pulled back my body and closed the door.
