Taeon hated Sunjeong’s innocent face as he confessed his feelings.
The overconfident expression of someone who already had everything. The conviction that I can’t possibly not love you back when I love you. The confidence unique to someone whose life had never once been cold to them.
Even when Sunjeong’s eyes filled with tears in the face of Taeon’s rejection, Taeon remained unmoved. He only thought, So you had adults who would listen to you if you cried.
He’d mope for about a day before recovering his energy, and once he entered university, he’d date a dominant Alpha who suited him.
His first love—someone he’d fallen for precisely because they were different from him—would surely be forgotten quickly.
When Taeon turned away from nineteen-year-old Sunjeong, who was crying loudly over what made him so miserable, Taeon’s heart felt a little regretful too. Though they didn’t suit each other, he still thought Sunjeong was a good guy as a friend. Even if their lives were too different and they’d grow apart someday.
The problem was that the next day, Sunjeong approached Taeon as if nothing had happened. Along with these firm words: “I’ll never give up on you, Yoon Taeon.”
Whether he did or didn’t, Taeon had no interest in Sunjeong’s feelings. The burden of having to start anew with just a few million won in self-reliance support funds weighed too heavily on his life to spare any concern for some hothouse flower.
Around age twenty-one, when Taeon had grown accustomed to Sunjeong following him around everywhere within his daily radius, Taeon began meeting Omegas.
They were shabby Omegas, completely different from Sunjeong. They had nothing to their name but wanted to do everything others did, though it was difficult—being with others like himself put Taeon at ease. It was fine to eat cheap food or go to dirty motels.
Even when Sunjeong shed tears again at the unfamiliar Omegas’ pheromones wafting from Taeon’s body, Taeon remained unbothered. He only found Sunjeong’s persistent one-sided love—stubbornly refusing to give up no matter how many times he was rejected—to be disgusting.
Yet at the same time, he seemed to have grown accustomed to the affection Sunjeong offered. Thinking of the fuss he’d make—always watching Taeon’s face and complexion, turning pale if he so much as coughed once—made him laugh.
Last night, as Taeon walked back to his old studio apartment building after spending his rut cycle with an Omega he’d only known for a few days, Sunjeong declared that he too would now live like Taeon.
The start of a day without Sunjeong by his side felt strangely empty to Taeon.
***
Lunch was always either pork cutlet or stir-fried spicy pork. They were the work foreman’s favorite menu items.
Taeon, who preferred mild flavors, didn’t particularly like these dishes, but they weren’t bad since he needed to eat a hearty early lunch to work physically demanding jobs all day.
The people who scraped their bowls clean in 10 minutes without exchanging any conversation got a cup of instant coffee from the machine at the restaurant entrance and headed to the break room. They were going to catch some sleep before using their bodies again. Taeon didn’t join that procession and instead went to a small convenience store nearby to buy and drink banana milk.
Taeon had only recently started buying the jar-shaped banana milk. Originally, Sunjeong would always bring it and give it to Taeon. As if embarrassed to show up without warning or an appointment no matter how shameless he was, he’d hand over the small bottle of milk in his small hand, saying he came to give Taeon banana milk.
It had already been several years of chuckling and finishing the banana milk each time. Even without Sunjeong coming to find him anymore, Taeon had reached the point of buying and drinking it himself, addicted to the sweet taste.
As he threw the plastic bottle in the trash, Taeon briefly thought about Sunjeong.
He felt nothing but genuine gratitude that Sunjeong had finally given up on him.
His already boring life had become somewhat more dull, but this current peace was everything Taeon wanted.
Taeon’s phone rang as he walked leisurely to his private hideout, avoiding his snoring coworkers. It was a message from Yuhyeon, his sex partner.
[You free tonight?]
[Let’s go for a round ㄱㄱ]
Looking at the date, it made sense that he’d contact him. Yuhyeon hit his heat cycle around the middle of each month, so he seemed urgent to get off a few rounds. After sending a quick reply, Taeon booked the cheap motel they always went to on a lodging app and sent the address to Yuhyeon. A response saying he understood came back from Yuhyeon right away.
Sunjeong had said he tried not to see the faces of the various Omegas Taeon met. He said if he saw their faces once, he’d start imagining things, and then he’d really get hurt.
‘Why would you?’
Taeon had asked Sunjeong in a sharp voice.
‘Who are you, Go Sunjeong? What are you to me?’
‘……’
‘Fuck, who the hell are you to talk about being hurt or whatever?’
‘No, I didn’t mean that……’
What provoked Taeon’s mood back then wasn’t just Sunjeong’s single comment.
Sunjeong was a dominant Omega. But he always walked around with a clean body as if pheromones had nothing to do with him, and never released pheromones around Taeon either.
This wasn’t because of Sunjeong’s willpower. It was because he properly took suppressants—the most necessary element in the cumbersome life of a manifested person—and took sufficient other measures as well. In contrast, the Omegas who rolled around with Taeon were the type who couldn’t frequently take expensive suppressants even with insurance coverage.
The same went for Taeon. After paying rent and living expenses with money earned from working all weekdays, even a measly one million won savings deposit was difficult. Still, with just the willpower that he didn’t want to live like this forever, when he forced himself to make the deposit, there was no money left to buy suppressants.
Sometimes when it felt too cumbersome, he’d go to the hospital to get medicine, but it was rare. Rather than that, rolling around once with an Omega in the same situation was much cheaper and more convenient.
‘I was wrong, I’m sorry.’
In front of the tears flowing from Sunjeong’s eyes, Taeon’s head started to ache again. He’d also shed tears when Taeon got furiously angry in front of him after he asked if it wouldn’t be okay to at least cover the cost of suppressants, even if nothing else worked out.
Taeon never once wiped away those tears.
Taeon’s heart was unmoved as he recalled the story that was becoming a thing of the past.
Though he’d made the strange declaration to live promiscuously, it probably wouldn’t be similar to Taeon’s way of life.
Lucky you for having good parents, Go Sunjeong. Live happily. With comfortable people like yourself. As he inwardly repeated words he couldn’t say to Sunjeong’s face, Taeon’s unhindered steps toward the motel where they were supposed to meet stopped when he spotted a very familiar silhouette in the motel district.
Why is he here?
Taeon’s steps halted when he discovered Sunjeong standing with an unfamiliar Alpha, his expression somewhat stiff.
***
Taeon’s brow furrowed instantly. There was no reason for Sunjeong to show up at this seedy motel district in this remote neighborhood at this hour. In the first place, Sunjeong’s house was an hour away from this neighborhood even by subway.
Seeing the Alpha standing next to Sunjeong made it even more absurd. Tacky bleached hair that looked self-done with jet-black eyebrows. There were piercings here and there on his face. His sharp eyes and rough skin were clearly visible even from a distance. Moreover, though this was clearly their first meeting, his clothes were excessively sloppy.
Taeon truly had zero interest in how Sunjeong lived his life.
It didn’t matter to him at all if he rolled around with that guy right before his eyes.
However, if the ridiculous motive for doing such a thing in this neighborhood was to provoke Taeon, Taeon wanted to stop him. There was no need for everyone to fall into the mud.
After this thought, as Taeon hesitated briefly before deciding to endure the annoyance and approach Sunjeong, what stopped his steps was a familiar voice.
“Yoon Taeon.”
When he turned around, Yuhyeon was looking at Taeon with his usual dry expression.
The flush on his face was probably because his body had already entered its heat cycle. Taeon didn’t open his mouth and acknowledged him with a look.
A romance-less, dry animalistic act where no feelings arose no matter how much they intertwined their bodies. In the brief moment of holding each other after finishing what needed to be done, it seemed like warmth between people was being shared, but Taeon always knew that was an illusion.
But that’s not what this is for him.
Taeon’s gaze turned toward Sunjeong once more.
He also recalled the name of the university Sunjeong attended—one that Taeon naturally knew, that all Koreans couldn’t help but know. He’d said over ten thousand students attended that school. There, he could just make eye contact with an Alpha from a similar family background with decent looks, go on a few lame dates, and have sex if they want to. That’s roughly what they call dating. He could just do that.
As Taeon grumbled inwardly, Yuhyeon familiarly linked arms with Taeon. At the same time, Sunjeong’s gaze, which had been focused on the man in front of him, shifted to Taeon.
He expected to receive a look that was either surprised or clearly hoping Taeon would care, but unexpectedly, Sunjeong’s expression was calm. Well, look at that. Taeon scoffed.
