# Chapter 98
“Mom is exhausted from surgery today and wants a glass of wine. I have surgeries scheduled all morning tomorrow too, so just one glass so I can get a good rest as soon as we get home.”
“Is that so? Then let’s go to that Italian restaurant. The one you like.”
“Can we get in without a reservation? Honey, can you call them?”
Mo Yeongwoo put a cigarette in his mouth as he made the call from the smoking area in the parking lot. Mo Eunje got in the car first with Han Seola. Han Seola sat in the passenger seat, and Mo Eunje in the back.
“Why did you come without letting us know?”
Once the car door closed and they were alone, Han Seola asked in a voice stripped of any warmth.
“What, I can’t come see Mom and Dad freely? Do I always have to call first? Surprises are a thing too, you know.”
“Didn’t you say you’d never do surprises again after showing up at Igyeol’s place on Parents’ Day and finding no one home?”
“That was then, this is now. So, are you unhappy that I came?”
“Who said I’m unhappy? It’s just that you’re acting suspicious lately. Your face is gaunt, and you showed up with nothing but yourself, not even luggage.”
“There’s nothing suspicious about it. Why would I bother carrying heavy, annoying luggage? I can just wear Dad’s sweats.”
It was only after boarding the train that Mo Eunje realized he had no luggage when Tae Igyeol mentioned it in a message. He’d been momentarily flustered, but improvising on the spot was one of Mo Eunje’s strengths. His improvisations rarely worked on Tae Igyeol, but they worked fairly well on everyone else.
“Something still feels off. Let me change the question then.”
But maybe today it wouldn’t work on Han Seola either. His mother, who had been looking at her phone while talking from the passenger seat, turned her body and made eye contact.
“Mom, why do you have so many questions?”
“Why did you come alone without Igyeol?”
“That question is even stranger. Do you think I always go everywhere with Igyeol? This is ridiculous—I come all the way to Busan to surprise you, and you just criticize me. I’m hurt, really. From now on, let’s just see each other cleanly on holidays.”
Just as Mo Eunje was deliberately acting hurt, stung by Han Seola’s sharp observation, the driver’s side door opened, and Mo Yeongwoo got in. A smell similar to the scent Tae Igyeol carried when he came in from the roof deck filled Mo Eunje’s nostrils. While he didn’t mind the scent on Tae Igyeol, now he felt the same aversion as when Ban Hajun smelled of cigarettes.
“What’s this about only seeing each other on holidays?”
“He’s doing things he doesn’t normally do, so I asked him about it, and he immediately draws a line.”
“I’m not. I came because I wanted to see Mom and Dad, but all I get is an interrogation.”
Han Seola noticing something suspicious meant that Mo Yeongwoo had probably figured it out long ago but wasn’t showing it. From the moment she mentioned his skin condition, she had been keenly observing his condition and state.
“Alright, both of you, that’s enough. They said they have one room table left, so I made a reservation. We can head straight there.”
“Okay. Let’s open the windows a bit. The cigarette smell is strong.”
Both front windows opened halfway. The strange yet familiar scent gradually dissipated until it completely disappeared.
Suddenly, Mo Eunje felt lonely due to the psychological distance from Tae Igyeol.
Perhaps, he was missing Tae Igyeol.
After arriving at the Italian restaurant and being shown to a private room, Mo Yeongwoo and Han Seola sat side by side, with Mo Eunje sitting across from them.
They ordered dishes that Han Seola wanted and decided to share everything. They also added two glasses of wine. Mo Eunje asked the staff to recommend a sweet variety from the low-alcohol white wines, while Han Seola chose a low-sugar, astringent red wine that she thought Tae Igyeol would like. Mo Yeongwoo didn’t drink since he had to drive.
“The red wine you selected has high acidity. Is that okay?”
“Yes, that’s fine.”
After hearing the conversation between the staff and Han Seola, Mo Eunje mentally corrected himself—the wine Han Seola chose wasn’t to Tae Igyeol’s taste after all. While Tae Igyeol liked astringency, he didn’t enjoy high acidity whether in coffee or wine. Despite trying not to think about Tae Igyeol by deliberately avoiding the dishes they had eaten together last time, Mo Eunje didn’t understand why his thoughts kept flowing naturally back to him. He wished he could replace his malfunctioning brain with a new one.
“How long are you planning to stay?”
After the server confirmed their order and left the room, Han Seola rested her elbows on the table, propped her chin on her hands, and asked. Mo Eunje, mirroring her posture, tilted his head askew.
“Maybe I should move here?”
“This kid gets worse and worse. Did you really fight with Igyeol? First, you talk about looking for a separate place, then you show up alone without any luggage. What’s going on with you?”
Han Seola dropped her posture and looked incredulous, exchanging glances with Mo Yeongwoo as she once again revealed her pent-up curiosity. But unable to bring up sensitive issues in front of his parents, Mo Eunje let out a hollow laugh, pretending to be dumbfounded.
“Fight? What fight? Mom, do you want me to live with Igyeol forever? What, should I marry Tae Igyeol?”
“Go ahead. It’s your life, why are you asking me? Just so you can blame someone later?”
“Mom, are you serious? Should I really marry Tae Igyeol?”
“Whoever you marry, the person responsible for the consequences of your choices is you. Not me. But why do you keep acting like you want Mom to choose for you?”
Though nothing in Han Seola’s words was incorrect, the unconventional content left Mo Eunje beyond incredulity to bewilderment. Even though their families were close, it wasn’t April Fool’s Day, and he hadn’t said it jokingly, yet his mother’s nonchalant response left him speechless.
By this point, he should have been reprimanded to speak sensibly or scolded for making unfunny jokes. Or she could have continued the joke by asking if he was a daughter-in-law or son-in-law. Receiving this unexpected response, Mo Eunje lowered his propped chin and awkwardly rolled his eyes like a creaking robot to look at Mo Yeongwoo.
“Looking at Dad won’t help. Dad is on Mom’s side.”
“…Mom and Dad, you both know that Tae Igyeol and I are both men, right?”
“Who does this kid think he’s fooling? Why are you playing word games today? Are you really going to marry Igyeol? Are you two finally dating?”
“Is it okay if we date? Should we really date?”
“That’s really a terrible thing to say. Do you keep teasing Mom because I’m playing along? Have these kinds of jokes with your aunt who enjoys them; Mom doesn’t find them funny. If just one of you—you, Igyeol, or Iden—had been a girl, I would have already become in-laws with Yeonhwa. We’re not destined to be in-laws in this lifetime.”
This was what he expected. While Mo Eunje felt like his head was about to explode, Han Seola spoke easily because she was taking his words as a joke. Song Yeonhwa probably also played along because she enjoyed teasing Tae Igyeol.
“Who thinks it’s funny? I keep doing it because it’s surprising that Mom’s playing along with jokes she used to ignore. Don’t call me strange when Mom is being much stranger.”
Unintentionally, he had tested Han Seola’s feelings and confirmed his expectation that it wouldn’t be accepted. Her words about it being “a terrible thing” stuck in his mind, making him feel uneasy. This was likely the common reaction of parents when their child says they want to engage in a same-sex relationship.
Dad had firmly declared that he was on Mom’s side without leaving room for reconsideration, so there was no need to double-check. Honestly, even Song Yeonhwa would probably vote with Han Seola’s opinion that they weren’t destined to be in-laws in this lifetime if the situation became serious.
Bluntly speaking, how many parents in South Korea would support and encourage their child if they confessed that their sexual orientation was different from others? A celebrity who had come out once said on a talk show: the hatred from strangers who didn’t know him well was bearable and endurable, but the contempt and disdain from his family was unbearably difficult—the people who inflicted the most pain were actually his family, whom he had always thought would be on his side.
Just seeing Han Seola’s reaction, Tae Igyeol would have to kill the feelings he said he had nurtured for over ten years. There didn’t seem to be even a speck of possibility for developing a different kind of relationship. Therefore, no matter what, Tae Igyeol’s inappropriate feelings had to be eliminated and never revealed.
Just like himself at eighteen, this time Tae Igyeol just needed to endure.
“Anyway, Mom is against you living here.”
The dishes they ordered were served, and as they began eating, Han Seola steered the conversation back to the original topic. Mo Eunje, who had also forgotten about it, tightened the string of tension again and gathered his wits.
“Why? You spent over two hours giving a speech, completely sober, about how great it is to live with a view of Haeundae Beach.”
“Mom loves it. But after having you stuck to me all my life, I’m finally living like newlyweds with your father, and I don’t want to be disturbed.”
“Wow… You’re my mother, but sometimes I really dislike you. Even when we lived together, you and Dad treated me like I was invisible and lived like newlyweds, remember?”
“Still, it’s different from being completely alone. Besides, you won’t know anyone here. What fun would you have?”
Mo Eunje sensed a strong will from Han Seola to prevent him from coming to Busan. The newlywed excuse probably wasn’t the entire reason, as her voice was heavily laden with worry.
“Did you and Dad come here because you knew people?”
“Igyeol, Minho, Hajun—they’re all in Seoul, and they all live nearby. You said that was good, so why are you suddenly acting like this? Is something really wrong?”
“What could be wrong? I’m just feeling complicated. My heart is troubled.”
“I told you not to stress too much about your new work. No one will say anything even if you publish a new work five years from now. If the publishing house won’t publish it then, Mom will publish it for you. So don’t stress.”
“What do you mean they won’t publish it? You’re saying strange things.”
While he appreciated his mother’s sentiment, if things got to the point where the publishing house wouldn’t publish his book, he’d probably already be unable to write a single character, making it unnecessary consideration. Fortunately, Han Seola seemed to think that Mo Eunje had come suddenly to Busan because of stress about his new work. On the other hand, Mo Yeongwoo was just eating and listening attentively, making it difficult to gauge what he was thinking.
