# Chapter 100
I could feel Baek Han frowning and staring at me intensely, but I pretended not to notice. Finally sighing, he brushed his hair up.
“What are you going to tell Kwon Dojin?”
“I have two options in mind.”
“Let’s hear them.”
“Being honest. Telling him I’m tired and struggling because of the current situation, so I want to keep some distance during the break.”
“And the other one?”
“Something like telling him I’ll focus on studying at home because I was shocked by getting ten questions wrong on the mock exam?”
It wasn’t entirely an excuse; getting 10 questions wrong on a mock test—and it wasn’t even a senior year mock exam—had genuinely shocked me. At the same time, it served as an indicator that the stress from my surroundings was significant enough that it couldn’t be ignored.
So after countless deliberations and hesitations, I finally made up my mind this morning. A decision to take care of myself first.
It was selfish, I admit, and I had nothing to say if it seemed pathetic, but if this situation continued, it wouldn’t be good for either me or Kwon Dojin. Maybe not now, but as time passed, Kwon Dojin would get tired too, and then we might end up having unwanted fights.
I hated that possibility more than anything, so I wanted to keep some distance for now. And along the way, gain time to think deeply about what kind of relationship I wanted with Kwon Dojin.
“Just be honest. Don’t lie for Kwon Dojin’s sake.”
“That would be better, right?”
I nodded readily at Baek Han’s recommendation. Even if it wasn’t a complete lie, I didn’t like cleverly concealing the truth either. Besides, since this situation wasn’t our fault to begin with, there was no need to lie.
And Kwon Dojin disliked lies. I was already doing something he probably wouldn’t want, so I didn’t want to lie on top of that.
“Thanks.”
“For what?”
“Just. After suffering alone, telling someone makes me feel a bit better. Who else could I tell this to if not you?”
I tried to smile while wiggling my toes. Baek Han sighed at my smile and irritably tapped the floor.
“When will you tell him?”
“Since it’s final exam period, I won’t say anything now. I don’t want to ruin Kwon Dojin’s exams.”
“So after having fun during the break?”
“On the day we return from having fun. Kwon Dojin will probably take me home, so then.”
“That seems like the worst ending for Kwon Dojin.”
“Does it?”
Maybe it really would be. Kwon Dojin seemed to have something like trauma about people distancing themselves from him because of Ji Haecheon.
Still, I didn’t want to have this conversation over the phone or text, and meeting separately for this would be awkward too. It was the most appropriate time I could think of.
Perhaps because we had talked enough, he stayed silently by my side for a while before messing up my hair.
“You’re going through a lot.”
I just smiled, lifting the corners of my mouth at his uncharacteristically weak voice that easily dispersed into the air.
* * *
My lips naturally curled up at the sight of Kwon Dojin, visible even before I left the main entrance. Looking at his phone, he hadn’t seen me yet. I briefly thought about surprising him, but the idea faded as I realized he would notice as soon as the entrance door opened.
“Kwon Dojin.”
“You’re here?”
As expected, I waved to greet him as he looked up when the door opened. He waved back with a smile, and as I quickly approached him, he put his phone away.
“You really came even though it’s the first day of final exams.”
“We promised, didn’t we?”
He reached out his hand as usual, and I took it without hesitation. I don’t know when it started, but holding hands had become our routine. Naturally, it was a good thing for me, so I had no reason to refuse.
“You didn’t stay up all night studying this time, did you?”
“I did sleep.”
“But you went to bed late, right?”
“…Yeah.”
For some reason, the atmosphere felt like I was being scolded, so I turned my head and pretended not to pay attention, and I heard laughter from beside me.
“You already do well enough without staying up late, Habin. You need to take care of your health.”
“Really, no lie, I was just going to check one last time before sleeping. But then—”
“You got so focused that you lost track of time while studying?”
I must have used this excuse too many times. Kwon Dojin cut me off and said what I was about to say. Having run out of words, I tightly closed my mouth, and he gently swung our clasped hands.
“Don’t do that today.”
“Okay.”
There was absolutely no need to listen to Kwon Dojin, but I couldn’t ignore him. After all, I couldn’t just brush off the words of the person I liked.
“Can I call you at night to check?”
“You’re telling me to sleep early. How can I answer a call at night?”
My voice naturally came out grumbling as I had to overturn my planned schedule and make a new one. Kwon Dojin, undeterred by my attitude, subtly moved his body closer to mine.
“I’ll call at 10. You’ll be in bed by then, right?”
“What? That early?”
I was shocked without even realizing it, as I had thought “early” meant around midnight. When I turned to look at him in alarm, he was staring at me with narrowed eyes.
“…What time did you go to sleep yesterday?”
Kwon Dojin lowered his voice unusually. Since the topic was disadvantageous to me, I turned my head away again to evade, and he abruptly stopped walking. As I stopped with him, Kwon Dojin grabbed my waist and turned me to face him.
“Habin.”
“Yeaah. I’m listening.”
Whether Kwon Dojin was serious or not, perhaps because the distance was too close, my heart pounded loudly, flaunting its presence. I barely managed to control my trembling voice, but I didn’t have the confidence to look him in the eye, so I stared at the tips of my shoes.
I don’t know how he interpreted my attitude, but Kwon Dojin let out a deep sigh. Then he lowered his head and pressed his forehead against mine with an audible bonk.
“You’ll collapse like that.”
“I’m not that weak—”
“Habin.”
“…I’ll go to bed early today. I’ll be in bed before 10.”
I surrendered to the proximity where I could count his individual eyelashes. How could I win against such tactics? In the end, I scrapped the plan I had just made and began creating a new one to ensure I would be in bed by 10.
“Really?”
“Yes, really.”
“Hmm, just verbal promises?”
What else? As I looked at him with eyes full of questions, Kwon Dojin broke into a broad smile as if he had been waiting for this.
“Let’s video call.”
“Huh?”
“You have to lie down with the lights off, okay?”
“No, if the lights are off, you won’t be able to see anyway—”
“That’s fine.”
Is it really?
My eyes wavered at the conversation progressing so quickly. A phone call was one thing, but a video call too? If, just if, the camera was good enough to show me in the darkness, wouldn’t that mean Kwon Dojin could see me in strange positions if I fell asleep during the call?
Of course, if I turned off the lights and drew the curtains to prevent light from coming in from outside, the camera wouldn’t be able to capture anything. So it could be considered needless worry, but for some reason, because it was Kwon Dojin, all sorts of concerns came to mind.
“Hmm? Habin.”
Kwon Dojin tilted his head slightly and smiled with his eyes. From any angle, he was clearly acting cute, which made me inhale sharply. His attitude showed he was fully aware of the power his face held.
“O-okay. I get it, so let’s hurry up. We’ll be late at this rate.”
I deliberately changed the subject, slipped out of Kwon Dojin’s embrace, and walked ahead. It was the first day of finals, so I couldn’t rely on Kwon Dojin and act boldly as usual; we really did need to hurry.
It just looked like an excuse given the circumstances. Moreover, as there was still some time to spare, Kwon Dojin followed behind me at a leisurely pace.
“Are you going straight home after the exam today?”
“I need to study at home. You said to sleep early.”
Thanks to Kwon Dojin, I had to study continuously without a break. I could probably get good grades without trying that hard, but studying the night before an exam was a kind of mental management for me, so I couldn’t just do it casually.
“How about studying at my place?”
“I don’t like doubling the travel time. I’d rather study during that time.”
“Then how about sleeping at my place?”
“That’s—”
I narrowed my eyes and stared at Kwon Dojin, who was smoothly stating what he wanted. Of course, if I stayed at his house, I couldn’t use travel time as an excuse, but—
“…I think I’d just end up playing with you, so no.”
Honestly, it was a very tempting offer. I’d get to be with Kwon Dojin all day. Even besides that, considering Kwon Dojin was coming all the way to my house despite it being an exam day, it might be better to stay together and go to school together.
Still, I refused because there was a possibility I’d lose my mind over Kwon Dojin all day. That would naturally reduce my study time, and as a result, I might fail the exam due to not managing my mental state as usual.
Even though I was aiming for regular admission, I wanted to minimize risks. Wouldn’t anyone agree that it’s good to have early admission as a safety net?
“That’s too bad.”
Perhaps because I had already refused once, Kwon Dojin didn’t push further. He simply reached out to hold my hand again, expressing his disappointment.
“You need to study for the exams too.”
I muttered, glancing sideways at Kwon Dojin, and he caressed my hand.
“Normally that would be true… but being with Habin is more important than that.”
“What—”
“What can I do? That’s how much I like Habin.”
My eyes naturally wavered at his attitude that made it sound like he was stating the obvious. He must be joking. He couldn’t be serious. I knew that, yet even knowing that—
My heart raced with excitement.
