For some reason, it was a cautious question. Hongdan tilted his head briefly, then answered in a casual tone.
“Yeah.”
At that moment, there was an illusion that the temperature of the air around Seonha had suddenly changed.
But the only thing illuminating them was the faint moonlight, and the lighting was far too insufficient to notice such subtle changes in mood. Therefore, rather than carefully observing Seonha’s expression, he could only roughly guess his mood from the words he uttered.
Fortunately, the next question that followed wasn’t particularly special.
“Did you like drinking?”
“No, not particularly.”
Since his tone was still sluggish, Hongdan just thought it was his imagination and erased the sense of dissonance he’d felt for an instant.
“Maybe because… of me?”
“Yeah. What else do I have to be stressed about besides you right now?”
As soon as Hongdan finished responding, he yawned widely.
The intoxication had almost completely worn off and drowsiness was gradually coming over him. He was a bit worried about tomorrow’s hangover, but for tonight at least, thanks to about 2L of fermented carbonation, he felt like he could sleep as if knocked out.
This shabby office worker still had two more weekdays left and needed to conserve energy. By now, Yeon Seonha’s mood should be sufficiently lifted.
Hongdan folded his stretched-out legs one by one to finish the conversation and go to bed. And just as he was about to straighten his back.
“……Then can’t you just take out your anger in front of me?”
“Huh?”
Despite the late hour, it was a voice that had become even clearer. Hongdan had to stop without even taking a step.
Standing awkwardly, he looked down at Seonha, who had already become a pile of blankets.
His body had already been all crumpled up, but the moment Hongdan’s gaze fell, he seemed to curl up even smaller. That large bundle of fabric wasn’t moving at all, letting only his voice flow out quietly like a music box.
“Instead of suddenly not coming home like today…… Can’t you just yell at me and hit me instead?”
Yeon Seonha asking him to raise his hand instead—it was something hard to even imagine just a year ago. Hongdan’s head tilted.
“It’s already an unfamiliar space, but just sitting here stupidly waiting only for you was harder than I thought. Just…… It’s okay if you take out your anger on me however you want, so I’d prefer if you didn’t come home late without a word like this.”
Sitting there stupidly……
Then did I look stupid back then too?
Naturally, the image of himself holed up in the dressing room waiting for him came to mind. The hazy afterimage was about to spread into the events of that day, so Hongdan quickly shook his head to scatter the pieces of memory trying to fit together. He wanted to sleep comfortably without nightmares at least for today.
“Goodness. Anyone would think I ran away for a week.”
You were out for more than ten days—he quietly swallowed those words and moved the steps he couldn’t take earlier.
“Sleep.”
Seonha must have noticed he was trying to leave in a bit of a hurry, but if he stayed longer, he felt like he’d end up revealing all his inner feelings like yesterday.
……He didn’t want that.
Thud—
“Ugh, it’s cold.”
When he left Seonha’s room, the living room felt even colder.
Indeed, it was worth sacrificing this month’s gas bill to become a boiler phantom thief.
Hongdan felt a faint satisfaction as he headed to his room across the way.
As soon as he crossed the threshold, he collapsed his drowsy body onto the bed. He knew he should wash up, but Hongdan wasn’t a person with enough willpower to maintain cleanliness while fighting off this giant sleep demon. Inwardly, he hoped that while he fell asleep like the previous night, the brownie next door would change his clothes and give him a simple wash.
But that guy wouldn’t try to do such a bothersome thing twice……
He quickly abandoned the unfulfillable expectation and just decided to become one of the many humans who fought and won against germs. Since he hadn’t yet heard of a case of sudden death from sleeping without washing, if there were no major problems, he too should be able to see tomorrow’s sun without issue.
Then when that time comes, he’ll greet the new sunlight and perform ablutions with a refreshed mindset.
Saying it like this makes it sound fucking sacred.
Ah, should I just quit the column and everything and become a priest? Even if I wasn’t that kind of bride, I’ve been another kind of bride. Would they count that as experience? Then should I apply as an experienced candidate first……
Hongdan’s consciousness sank into endless delusions and became increasingly distant.
Soon the room was filled with Hongdan’s even breathing. The thick winter bedding that had occasionally heaved also gradually became still. This peaceful quiet was scheduled to continue until morning.
Unless a brownie really did visit.
Had Hongdan’s small wish come true?
The old wooden door slowly pushed open without a single creaking sound. Even the footsteps of the man who slipped through the gap were quiet without a trace.
One step, another step.
Seonha approached the soundly sleeping Hongdan while holding his breath. From the door to his bed was only about seven or eight steps at most.
A scoff leaked from his mouth upon confirming Hongdan’s appearance.
“I knew you’d fall asleep right away.”
Because he was sleeping exactly as expected.
Not once did Seonha’s toes falter while heading toward Hongdan. Even though the darkness lay even thicker here due to the window being smaller than the room where he stayed.
Seonha’s steps were so clear, as if a different light was seeping into his eyes alone. In truth, it was thanks to secretly coming in several times when Hongdan wasn’t there.
After briefly observing the sleeping face, Seonha soon firmly pulled back the blanket with his large hand. Should this be called fortunate? Hongdan was particularly heavy sleeper. Even now, he only shivered at the sudden chill, but there wasn’t even a small tremor in his quietly closed eyelids.
“Fool.”
Seonha loved this innocence. That’s why he thought he was perfectly suited as his partner for living a moderately pleasant and light life, and in the end, he was able to seize the opportunity and secure the position of husband.
Actually, it took quite a long time to even attach the name of ‘love.’
Because the desire to pursue Hongdan was closer to simple possessiveness than sexual love.
When spending time together, unlike the many omegas he’d met, he didn’t even want to shove his dick in first. Rather, he wanted to cherish him like the most precious thing in the world. Then after marriage, when Hongdan first gave his side.
‘You can… do more.’
He felt an indescribable sense of fulfillment and finally knew this was love. All his past emotions too.
“It would be nice if you stayed this obedient when your eyes are open too.”
Even now.
So that’s why I’m doing such childish shit.
Seonha briefly mocked himself as he fumbled with Hongdan’s pants. Even though he was blatantly rummaging through his pockets, Hongdan remained quiet. Both hands, half-raised and placed under the pillow, rather seemed to welcome that assault.
Seonha’s lips had no time to close. He kept grinning and leaking modest joy.
Soon something hard was caught at his fingertips.
Seonha pulled it out with an even bolder gesture. It was a daring act he couldn’t have easily done if he hadn’t known Hongdan’s dull sleeping habits.
He entered the familiar four digits on Hongdan’s phone screen.
0317.
Contrary to expectation, the lock didn’t unlock. Seonha muttered in a low voice.
“……It’s changed.”
The ten keypads remained floating without disappearing.
In other words, Hongdan was no longer reminiscing about that day.
“Mm……”
Seonha’s head slowly tilted.
Though he still wore a smile, its temperature was quite different.
“Jung Hyeonchan, that bastard’s voice seemed certain.”
Even though he hadn’t exchanged a proper conversation of more than a few words, he could tell well enough. It was that very voice that kept butting in whenever he was with Hongdan, so he couldn’t forget it. Seonha was originally the type to remember negative things for a long time.
But then he soon wore a broad smile.
The image of Hongdan running to the house where he was waiting kept coming to mind, leaving no room for his brow to furrow. Though the person himself wouldn’t admit it, Seonha had read a subtle emotion on his face at that time that even Hongdan himself hadn’t noticed. It was also what Seonha had so desperately wanted.
“That’s why I told you, you can’t eat even when it’s given to you.”
You idiot bastard.
That was the remark Seonha would return to Hyeonchan.
Seonha lowered his gaze again.
Hongdan’s bed was quite a large size. There seemed to be enough space for him to burrow in.
He slowly laid his body down next to Hongdan. When he pulled him close with his solid arms, the faintly trembling shoulders immediately stopped. Pleased with how he melted into his body temperature, Seonha whispered gently while even burying his nose into the familiar, clear nape.
“I hope you see me in your dreams today too, right?”
The sight of crying and screaming while held in his arms was definitely pain as if his whole body were being torn apart. But on the other hand, he was happy enough to cry. The fact that he was still such a deep existence to Hongdan.
“Always think only of me like that.”
Whether the time spent with him remained as a medal or as a scar, that didn’t really matter. What mattered was just that Hongdan was still swayed by him.
Seonha caressed the soft cheek. It was also his favorite part of Hongdan’s body. Because the traces of his touch were evident.
“Don’t look for another guy to bother you and flirt with for a bit—cry while thinking of me instead.”
Soft earlobe, nostril, lips. He pinched each in turn.
“Cry while looking at me every day, Hongdan.”
Eventually.
“I love you, my wifey.”
As if stamping a seal, his lips pressed down firmly on Hongdan’s tender skin.
Even until then, not a single ripple arose on Hongdan’s eyelids.
