Adding Insult to Injury (5)
Jeongbae sat at the dining table with dead black eyes, staring at the front door. The porridge Dogyeom had bought in the morning was still sitting on the table. Just the smell seemed like it would make him nauseous, so Jeongbae closed the lid and put it in the refrigerator.
‘I have to stop.’
The first day was actually easier to accept. Yoon Jaehyuk turning his face away with a hardened expression as he left. He wasn’t sure whether he’d left or not. But he’d steeled his resolve.
‘Even if he left like this, it’s okay.’
For Jaehyuk’s sake, this relationship was better off not lasting long. He was an incompetent, ugly older omega. Jaehyuk was a capable, beautiful alpha in his prime. Anyone could see they didn’t match. In a year, no… even in half a year, Jaehyuk would surely regret it. By his side, he needed a perfect match like Isol. Not a defective product like himself.
He opened his workbook and solved problems diligently. He tried to concentrate like usual. Midnight came, dawn came, morning came. Looking out the window as the dim light brightened, Jeongbae rubbed his eyes. Then he turned his head toward the front door that hadn’t opened all night.
“Ah… not yet… I don’t know.”
It was a stupid thing that came out of his own mouth.
‘It’s just one night out. He must have gone somewhere else because he was angry or had something to do.’
His resolve was meaningless. Jeongbae’s hope circuit cruelly lit up. It was ridiculous and pitiful. He couldn’t give up again. Forgetting the lesson from last time, his feelings for Jaehyuk had grown to this absurd extent. Lingering attachment. Regret. Self-blame. All sorts of pathetic emotions arose.
‘Again… I…’
He blamed and scolded himself for his own foolishness, but thoughts couldn’t be controlled at will. Kang Jeongbae stared at his broken arm. If only he could go somewhere and work until his body broke. The body that had at least sustained his life didn’t function at the moment he needed it most.
And today. The morning of the third day since Jaehyuk left. Hell’s gates were opening before Jeongbae’s eyes. The heart to let him go had long since disappeared. Anxiety, impatience, and yet the threadlike hope that he might still open that door and return consumed Jeongbae. Even Dogyeom’s pleas were useless.
‘Hyung, just eat one spoonful. Or at least lie down for a bit… You’ve just been sitting like this since yesterday.’
Dogyeom hadn’t mentioned a single word about Jaehyuk. Jeongbae was grateful for that. The moment talk about Jaehyuk came out of Dogyeom’s mouth, he would crumble disgracefully. In front of his younger brother… he didn’t want to do that.
His mouth was dry and his hands trembled. Even just sitting still, his breath became short and…
Obsession.
Jeongbae slowly covered his face with both hands.
‘Being foolish and pathetic. What exactly are you being greedy for?’
In front of him was a phone with a cracked screen. One that had never rung.
He’d pressed Jaehyuk’s number several times before putting it down. Phone call or text. He wanted to do anything. He wanted to run out right now and wander around looking for places Jaehyuk might be—the library, lecture halls, even the cafeteria. He wanted to go and beg for forgiveness, clinging to him, asking him to please, please reconsider just once.
“……”
The only reason Jeongbae didn’t was one thing. He didn’t have the confidence to endure the pain of rejection… Those cold, harsh words of rejection that were as obvious as looking at fire. Or worse, the non-response that would gouge out his heart even more. The hand that had been fiddling with the phone opened the photo album folder. Just two photos there. Kang Jeongbae’s rough, dull fingers slowly traced over them.
It was a photo he’d taken of Jaehyuk on the day he got his hair cut at the salon where Dogyeom worked. Shortly cropped hair, a high nose bridge and deep cheeks. His eyes were sharply chiseled, and his lips were tightly pressed together. Beautiful, strong, kind, my…
Jeongbae raised his head and anxiously looked at the front door. Waiting. Waiting for Jaehyuk without his knowledge. That much he absolutely couldn’t give up.
Hearing the sound of the clock’s second hand moving, sitting forlornly staring only at the front door in the house wrapped in silence.
The sun went down, and the red sunset light settled in the living room before it became pitch dark.
How much time had passed?
His briefly dazed mind snapped back sharply, and his heart began to pound.
The sound echoing in the hallway. Someone… someone was coming.
Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.
Clack.
The short time when buttons were pressed and the door opened. Jeongbae’s face filled with expectation. And…
“…You’re here? Jaehyuk.”
A large shadow filling the front door. An expressionless face. It was Yoon Jaehyuk with cool eyes. Jeongbae hid his trembling hands under the table.
“You’re late.”
That was all he could manage to say.
‘As… as normally as possible.’
Jeongbae was desperate, but Jaehyuk just glanced at Jeongbae and went straight into the bedroom. Because he’d waited so desperately, Jeongbae felt like tears would pour out. After a moment, when Jeongbae confirmed what Jaehyuk brought out, his vision went dark. His teeth clenched tight, and it felt like his body was being swept away in despair. A large suitcase.
“I came to get my things. I’ll leave like you wanted. Well then, take care.”
It was his usual indifferent, low voice. But to Jeongbae, it was like a death sentence. The moment he’d least wanted had finally come.
‘Ah, I… now… how…’
It felt like barely hanging on by one hand at the edge of a cliff. Jeongbae squeezed his eyes shut. A large presence brushed past Jeongbae dragging the suitcase.
‘I want to grab him. I want to tell him not to go. I want to cling to him.’
His tightly clenched fist turned white. But…
‘Endure, Jeongbae. You have to endure. Endure. You can endure.’
He knew. Even if he tried to grab him, he wouldn’t be caught. And…
He was an obstacle. One that had to be removed from Yoon Jaehyuk’s life someday.
The front door closed with a loud sound and silence settled in the house. Jeongbae stood up, then sank down with his knees on the floor.
‘He’s gone. He’s gone… Jaehyuk. Jaehyuk finally left.’
The tears he’d been holding back flowed down. He wanted to get up right now and follow after him. Even knowing it was useless, still, he wanted to grab onto his pant leg and beg him please not to leave him.
‘Anything, I’ll do anything. So please.’
He barely managed to sit down, stopping his body that was about to run out.
‘Just to a hundred. Just endure to a hundred. Then he’ll already be gone.’
‘1, 2, 3, 4, 5…’
Jeongbae chewed his lips and counted numbers in his mind. His body that wanted to run out right now… he forcibly pulled it down to sit.
’55, 56, 57…’
If he went out now, could he at least see his receding back?
’78, 79, 80…’
If he shouted loudly, wouldn’t his voice be heard?
’95, 96, 97, 98, 99, …100!’
Jeongbae opened the front door and ran out barefoot. After hurriedly pressing the elevator button, he sank down in front of it. Looking at the slowly rising numbers, Jeongbae’s mouth moved.
“Jaehyuk, Jaehyuk. Please don’t go. Yoon Jaehyuk. I like you so much. I like you. I like you. I like you. I like you.”
There was no one to hear, but the sincerity that flowed from his lips was sweet. The elevator arrival sound rang in the empty space. The empty elevator door opened and closed, but Jeongbae didn’t get on. He just sank down in that spot and cried as if he’d become dehydrated.
That’s when it happened.
“Kang Jeongbae.”
His name was called. A low, settled voice. Jeongbae’s shoulders flinched greatly. The crying didn’t stop. He didn’t have the confidence to raise his head. He heard the sound of footsteps walking from behind.
“If you were going to be like this… why did you pretend to be fine earlier?”
“……”
Jeongbae couldn’t think about anything. His head became a jumbled mess.
‘Uh… how long has he been watching?’
Jeongbae’s face turned white.
‘He heard everything. All of it… what do I do. Now what…’
“Um, Jaehyuk. What I just said, so—”
Before the words could finish, his body was lifted up.
“……!”
It was instantaneous.
His shoulders were grabbed and his chest hit a solid wall. Startled, when he raised his head, Jaehyuk was looking at him with a terrifying expression. His eyes were somehow strange. A strange smile had appeared on his lips, as if angry, as if happy, as if excited.
At Jaehyuk’s expression he’d never seen before, Jeongbae’s eyes widened. The corners of his mouth rose even more, and a low voice flowed out.
“If you hadn’t come out just now, something terrible would have happened.”
Then he was embraced so tightly it felt like his body would break. At the same time, lips slowly approached his ear. A small whisper heard along with hot breath.
“If you hadn’t followed me just now… I was going to capture you and confine you just like that.”
“……”
“You’re right in what you thought. I was testing you.”
Jeongbae unconsciously drew in a breath. Cold fingers slowly wrapped around his cheeks.
“I’m this kind of crazy bastard.”
A low laughing sound.
“I’m not normal, right? That’s right, this is the timing to be scared.”
Insane eyes. Jeongbae’s gaze was fixed on Jaehyuk’s face. An alpha looking at his shabby face as if bewitched. That appearance was even bewitching.
“I’m actually… this kind of strange person. Just because you were attached, I was jealous of you and Lee Dogyeom…”
Jaehyuk briefly swallowed his words, bit his teeth tightly, and continued again.
“I want to kill everyone who lays even a fingertip on you. And I test like this whether you’ll follow me or not. Jeongbae, what are you going to do now?”
Jeongbae lost his words and looked up at Jaehyuk. He’d been in hell for three days. And the man who made that hell was right before his eyes. He should be angry, should push him away.
But Jeongbae, right now, at this moment, knew what he wanted.
Jeongbae’s rough hand slowly moved toward Jaehyuk’s face. He stood on his tiptoes to raise his height and gently closed his eyes. The touch of coldly cooled lips. His body was lifted up and held just like that.
For a demon, it was too sad an expression. The immaturity of thoroughly looking down on him at Casino Pub, then turning around to confess he liked him. Jaehyuk had hurt Jeongbae, but on the other hand, he was torturing himself.
‘It doesn’t matter anyway.’
One thing was certain. Hell or whatever, the embrace he was held in now was sweet as honey.
