Adding Insult to Injury (2)
Three days.
Jaehyuk hadn’t come home. No, it wasn’t that he hadn’t come home… actually…
Jeongbae stared blankly at the front door. Sitting forlornly on a dining chair, he’d barely eaten or slept. He’d spent all three days without studying or working… without doing anything at all.
Jeongbae laid his cheek against the dining table glass and collapsed onto it. He drew a small heart in the spot where his breath had fogged.
‘Kang Jeongbae, you idiot.’
Should he have at least said he loved him? Even at this moment, he was having such foolish thoughts.
Yoon Jaehyuk had left.
Completely.
Even though it was something he’d expected, the shock was great. Just how great was it…
Jeongbae was still waiting for Jaehyuk even now. If he didn’t do at least this, he really couldn’t endure it, so even knowing he wouldn’t come, he was endlessly staring at the front door. He’d tried to stop waiting but couldn’t. His head, his heart, were imagining moment by moment the scene of Yoon Jaehyuk opening that door and entering with that usual expressionless face, imagining it over and over. That anticipation was gradually turning into anxiety, gnawing at Jeongbae by the second.
“Give up.”
He deliberately spoke the words aloud. But there was no way that would work. Anxiety led to regret, regret to self-blame.
What part of me didn’t he like? What did I do wrong? If I’d acted differently then, could I have held onto him? Should I have gone crazy and followed him the last day I saw him and grabbed onto his pant leg? Should I have been better at sex? Or did he get sick of it because we did it too much?
Jeongbae couldn’t stop his self-destructive thoughts for even one second.
Beep beep beep beep beep.
Clack.
At the sound of the door lock releasing and the front door opening, Jeongbae bolted upright.
“Hyung.”
Short blonde hair and a doll-like face. An expression looking at him with worry. It was Lee Dogyeom.
“I bought porridge. Let’s eat a little.”
Dogyeom rustled around, taking out the packaged containers from the plastic bag one by one.
“Uh, I’ll eat a little later.”
Jeongbae smiled and shook his head.
“Shut up. If you don’t eat like this, you’ll collapse.”
Dogyeom paid no attention and opened the lid, placing it in front of Jeongbae. The savory smell of sesame oil rose up. It was abalone porridge made with roasted glutinous rice.
“…I have no appetite. My stomach’s a bit off.”
Dogyeom silently held out a spoon.
“Please. At least pretend to eat. Just one bite.”
Jeongbae made a troubled face. He weakly smiled, his cheeks twitching, and took the spoon.
“Really just one bite. You can throw the rest away. Got it?”
“……”
Jeongbae’s head nodded weakly. Dogyeom sat right next to him and anxiously watched Jeongbae scoop up a spoonful and put it in his mouth. His noticeably gaunt cheeks chewed for a long while, then…
“Urgh…”
Jeongbae, covering his mouth with both hands, shot up.
“Hyung, again…”
Dogyeom urgently followed Jeongbae as he ran straight to the bathroom. Since he hadn’t eaten anything, only stomach acid poured into the toilet. Dogyeom patted and stroked his back for a long time, then supported the exhausted Jeongbae and helped him to the bedroom. He’d been in this state the whole time. Unable to swallow food, repeatedly vomiting everything up.
“Stop this and let’s go to the hospital.”
“No, I’m fine. I think it’s just indigestion.”
“Don’t be stubborn, at least get an IV…”
Jeongbae weakly turned over to face the other way. Dogyeom shouted in frustration.
“You’re really going to die like this! You’ll die!”
He shook the weakly lying Jeongbae roughly. As he tried to forcibly sit him up, Jeongbae’s eyes slowly closed.
“Hyung? Hyung?”
“I’m… sleepy. I’ll sleep just a little.”
Dogyeom ground his teeth as he watched Jeongbae collapse as if fainting. He hadn’t slept for days. At least it was fortunate he said he’d sleep. Carefully bringing a blanket, he meticulously covered Jeongbae’s body as he lay as if unconscious.
“Damn rattlesnake bastard.”
He muttered without realizing. Dogyeom, who’d put his hand to Jeongbae’s nose to check if he was breathing, quietly closed the door and came out. He ran his palm down his face.
‘I knew this would happen.’
That crazy rattlesnake Yoon Jaehyuk with only his pretty face had finally broken Jeongbae hyung. Made him malfunction. This was the first time seeing Jeongbae like this. Giving him so much affection when he was going to leave so easily overnight like this… Resentment, hatred, sympathy washed over him.
He’d almost been fooled too. The daily life of eating together and bustling around in one space. He’d been about to entrust Jeongbae hyung to Yoon Jaehyuk and leave…
‘As I thought, I shouldn’t have trusted a bourgeois alpha bastard like you.’
Dogyeom ground his teeth. While furious, on the other hand he felt lost. Jeongbae hyung’s condition was not normal. Should he call an ambulance and take him to the hospital? Should he give it more time? Should he look for food that would be easier to swallow?
“Think. Think. Lee Dogyeom. You have to do this.”
Now twenty years old. Too young and ignorant of too much to protect Jeongbae hyung. But he couldn’t just sit still. As his head became complicated, Dogyeom eventually thought of Sejin.
Before going to work, Dogyeom carefully opened the door. Jeongbae was sleeping as if dead. He slowly approached and stroked with his hand the innocent face he liked.
“At least try crying.”
Jeongbae’s eyes were closed weakly. He’d shown him nothing but weak smiles to the very end. But that smiling appearance hurt Dogyeom even more.
“I’m going now, hyung.”
There was no answer. Dogyeom touched his forehead to brush back his hair and quietly turned around. He got up and gathered his bag. Though his steps were heavy, now that Jeongbae had collapsed, enduring was his role.
Somehow he had to go to work, do his job, and earn money.
[Salon de Layer]
The Cheongdam hair salon with its flashy lights and elegant interior. Since it was still early, the inside was quiet. The other staff had gathered in the break room, saying they were sharing simple snacks. Except for one person.
Dogyeom slowly put down the curling iron he’d been using to fix his hair. It was time to get ready before receiving customers. His face in the mirror had become unrecognizably haggard. The area under his eyes was sunken and his tightly closed lips drooped downward. He’d just been jokingly scolded by Chaerin to brighten his expression.
‘I wonder if Jeongbae hyung woke up.’
Even in that brief moment, his head was filled only with Kang Jeongbae. As he stared blankly at the mirror, he felt a presence behind him. Footsteps approaching slowly, hesitantly.
“Lee Dogyeom.”
A low, calm voice. Dogyeom’s breath stopped for a moment. Without turning his head, he only met eyes through the mirror. A man with tall height, broad shoulders, and perfect proportions was standing right behind him. When he removed his black mask, his striking features were revealed. It was Han Siheon.
“I’ll, I’ll show you to the VIP room.”
It was when Dogyeom, who’d frozen for a moment, hurriedly tried to avoid his gaze and move.
“Today… I didn’t come to get my hair done.”
“……”
“If it’s okay… can we talk for a moment?”
Lately Siheon was neither arrogant nor smiling. He was somehow serious and calm, unlike before. Dogyeom nodded.
“Just for a moment.”
There were still only the two of them in the hall.
“About that time.”
Siheon deeply bowed his head and paused in his words. After a brief silence, he slowly opened his mouth again.
“I know saying sorry isn’t enough.”
He didn’t add excuses or jokes. Dogyeom’s eyes widened. Of course, the events of that night still tormented Dogyeom like a nightmare. Though it had only been an attempt, still, the hands that had spread apart his legs as he violently resisted were no different from rape.
But…
He hadn’t expected an apology at all. Anyway, that matter was a deal Dogyeom had responded to because he wanted it. Though it had ended in the ugliest way, anyway Dogyeom had been the one who’d provided the cause. On top of that, Han Siheon had even been thoroughly beaten by Sejin. He couldn’t understand why he was suddenly apologizing like this. Dogyeom didn’t lower his guard. He stepped back, on high alert.
“Back then… I crossed a lot of lines.”
Siheon’s expression even looked earnest. His deep, neat eye corners drooped downward, and his masculine lips were tightly pressed together. At the words that continued after hesitation, Dogyeom ended up startled. Without realizing, he gripped his apron tightly.
“Still… once. I want to meet you again.”
If it were before, he would have sneered. Or maybe the moment he saw his face, he might have cut him off with ‘Fuck off.’
But now…
“I won’t ask for anything.”
Dogyeom slowly faced Siheon. He had no intention of forgiving. No intention of forgetting either. But strangely, those words weren’t repulsive.
“How scary that must have been for you, I only realized later.”
“……”
“I’ll be going now.”
When Dogyeom just stared without giving any answer, Siheon fidgeted for a moment before turning and leaving. Dogyeom’s eyelids lowered slightly and his eyelashes cast shadows. His tear mole twitched slightly, then he fell into deep thought.
‘Why… did I not dislike it?’
Dogyeom couldn’t completely push Siheon away. That was so strange.
The moment someone said they wanted him, even though it wasn’t the person he liked, his anxiety stopped.
By the time he left Salon de Layer, Dogyeom was completely exhausted. Small mistakes kept happening, and eventually he was called by Chaerin.
“Dogyeom-ssi, is something wrong?”
“No.”
Dogyeom replied seriously with his head bowed. A worried look immediately appeared on Chaerin’s face. Normally, Dogyeom would have charmingly smoothed over the mistake, asking her to overlook it just once. But now… he was dejected, as if he’d received a terrible scolding. Chaerin’s heart softened.
“Tell me if something’s hard. It’s not a big mistake, so don’t worry too much.”
When she gave words of comfort without realizing, Dogyeom silently nodded.
Dogyeom’s steps were heavy as he opened the hair salon door and left. But soon he shook his head several times, pulling himself together. For Jeongbae hyung’s sake, he had to do anything.
‘Today. I’ll definitely talk to him.’
Dogyeom, as if determined, firmly adjusted his bag and moved his feet toward the judo hall where Sejin taught evening classes.
