Different Dreams in the Same Bed (25)
“Why?”
A sharp voice came from Dogyeom’s mouth.
“……”
“Is it because of that stupid kiss? What’s the big deal about bumping lips a little?”
“……”
“Stop the bullshit and let’s go look for a place together….”
“It’s not like that. Dogyeom.”
A quietly admonishing voice came from Sejin’s mouth. A face smiling as if troubled. But Dogyeom’s voice soon rose.
“What, did you get someone else already? With that senior person, perhaps….”
“No.”
This time it was a firm voice. Dogyeom unknowingly leaned his body back. The face without a smile was looking straight at him. The bear-like man who always followed a beat behind and let him win was facing him directly without avoiding him.
“Then what’s the reason?”
The strength left Dogyeom’s voice. The sharp momentum from earlier had already disappeared.
“Tell me. In a way I can understand.”
Sejin was silent for a long time. Only after filling his glass and slowly emptying the soju did he open his mouth.
“I’m serious about you.”
“What?”
“I truly like you.”
“I like you too. You and I, for life like brothers….”
“I’ve never thought of you as a brother.”
“……”
“Not as a friend either….”
“……”
“Is that enough now?”
“No, how is that enough?”
“……”
“That stupid kiss, we can just do it.”
“What? Lee Dogyeom. Are you crazy?”
“What’s the big deal? It’s just pressing lips together. I did it with a disgusting bastard like Han Siheon, so there’s nothing I can’t do with you.”
“Lee Dogyeom. Just because you have a mouth doesn’t mean you say anything.”
Sejin’s voice lowered. This angry-looking appearance was the first since the night of the concert. Don’t tell anyone but him that he had no experience…. Dogyeom was momentarily flustered. He meant that since he liked him, he could accept skinship, but he couldn’t understand why Sejin was overreacting like this. Dogyeom didn’t back down and continued.
“Why, kissing and sex and all that, what’s the big deal? I can do it with you too. So….”
“…Shut up.”
“What?”
“Stop it. I’m only holding back because it’s you.”
“……”
“Even that day, you were scared and asked me for help, and now you’re saying that?”
“That was….”
“Don’t talk nonsense.”
At Sejin’s cold rejection, Dogyeom lost his words. Sejin had never spoken this way before. He listened to everything he said. Even unreasonable things, even forced things.
Dogyeom’s face, who had naturally thought Sejin would accept the proposal to live together today too, was colored with bewilderment.
“Kim Sejin, what’s wrong? If there’s something that hurt your feelings….”
“There’s nothing that hurt my feelings.”
“Then why?”
“I told you. That I like you.”
“That could be a momentary mistake….”
Sejin’s expression slowly disappeared. Dogyeom flinched. Sejin poured alcohol, emptied the glass, slammed it down on the table with a bang, and stood up abruptly.
“I’m leaving first.”
“Hey, Kim Sejin.”
“Auntie, I’ll pay first.”
Sejin turned and left just like that. Dogyeom hurriedly followed after him. He couldn’t understand at all why he was acting this way.
“Kim Sejin, Kim Sejin! Sejin! Wait a moment.”
Dogyeom urgently followed Sejin who turned and walked away, ignoring him. But no matter how much he called, he didn’t look back. Dogyeom’s heart grew urgent. Finally, he had truly finally returned to how things were before…. He had just found Sejin again.
Despair and urgency. He was unknowingly chasing quickly after him as he walked away with long strides.
‘What should I do, what should I do?’
Now he had to let go of Jeongbae hyung too. Dogyeom truly only had Kim Sejin. Anxiety and desperation wrapped around Dogyeom.
“Sejin, Sejin. Just a moment. Really just a moment.”
His voice cracked. His breath was short and his words got tangled. But Kim Sejin didn’t stop in the end. He crossed the traffic light and turned into an alley. It was a familiar road. The neighborhood where the two used to run around together before.
“Kim Sejin!”
This time he shouted. Only then did Sejin’s steps stop very briefly. Dogyeom didn’t miss that gap. Panting, he caught up and grabbed Sejin’s sleeve.
‘Think, Lee Dogyeom. If it’s like this, Sejin will leave again.’
Dogyeom’s hesitation didn’t take even one second. He stretched out both hands, grabbed Sejin’s cheeks, stood on tiptoe, and pressed his lips against them. A soft and warm sensation. He kept them pressed together for a while before pulling away.
“……”
“See. I can do it too….”
Dogyeom’s next words were swallowed by Sejin pouncing on him. Thick lips completely covered Dogyeom’s mouth, and a wet tongue dug between his teeth.
“Mmph….”
Sejin tickled his palate just like that and strongly entangled his tongue. He sucked and bit with smacking sounds for a long time. Dogyeom’s breath quickened and his legs gave out. He hit Sejin with his fist but he didn’t let go. Changing angles and digging in, he licked the weak parts inside his mouth and sucked on the small tongue. Dogyeom became dazed.
‘This… is how you kiss?’
Sejin’s large hands firmly caught him as he swayed. A thick leg dug between his thighs. Saliva he couldn’t swallow made wet sounds, and his tongue was chewed and gnawed on. The lips didn’t know how to separate.
“Mmm… mm….”
A gap barely opened and Sejin slowly looked over Dogyeom with an expressionless face. Narrowly opened eyes were looking at him. It felt exactly like being hunted, so goosebumps rose all over Dogyeom.
“Fuck.”
Along with a curse, Sejin pushed Dogyeom away sharply and turned his body to start walking with heavy steps again. Dogyeom wiped his lips once with the back of his hand and quickly followed behind.
“You say you like me, so why won’t it work?”
“……”
Sejin moved his steps without looking back. Dogyeom followed, out of breath.
“…You can kiss more.”
“……”
“It’s different from with Han Siheon. It was doable.”
“……”
“Back then was disgusting, but with you….”
“……”
Sejin stopped and turned sharply to look at Dogyeom. Then he slowly breathed in as if holding back anger. A firm voice slowly flowed out through his tightly clenched teeth.
“Living together won’t work.”
Dogyeom’s heart grew urgent again.
“I can kiss. With you. Sex too….”
“Lee Dogyeom, you really have gone crazy.”
This time he seemed truly angry. It seemed like sparks flew from his eyes for a moment. Dogyeom unknowingly stepped back. Sejin didn’t charge at him. Instead, he squeezed his eyes shut and let out a sigh.
“Don’t ever say that again.”
At the retreating back turning away again, Dogyeom shouted loudly.
“Then how long do I have to wait?”
“I never asked you to wait.”
A cold voice and rejection heard from Sejin for the first time. Dogyeom froze on the spot.
‘Huh, this is strange. Now… what do I do?’
Even after Sejin left, Dogyeom remained in that spot for a long time. His hands trembled and his heart pounded wildly.
‘Kim Sejin… left me?’
This didn’t make sense. Even when Jeongbae hyung fell for the rattlesnake, he didn’t feel this much betrayal. Dogyeom felt dizzy and sat down on the spot. Frustration and anger, anxiety and sadness all rushed in at once. What covered all those emotions was a sense of hopelessness like standing on the edge of a cliff.
“What do I do now?”
Dogyeom, who was always confident, became teary-faced like a lost child.
***
Jeongbae was having a familiar dream. It was a dream he often had.
The entrance of an officetel building. A suitcase sitting there alone.
When he returned after finishing work, all his belongings were outside like that. Jeongbae cried endlessly in front of it, only waiting for the other person to return.
‘I was wrong. Just once. Please forgive me just once.’
‘Are you a gold digger? Can’t you understand?’
He waited for hours until the middle of the night to meet them, but… what came back were only words hammering nails into his heart. The other person left just like that, and Jeongbae carefully pulled the suitcase and turned around. With each step he took with his head down, tear stains remained on the ground.
“Jeongbae, Kang Jeongbae.”
When he opened his eyes at the urgent calling, Jaehyuk was looking down with a worried face. Firm arms and a warm embrace. Jeongbae carefully rubbed his face against his chest.
“Why are you suddenly crying? You startled me.”
As large hands wiped his eyes, Jeongbae smiled brightly.
“I had a dream.”
“What dream?”
A voice as affectionate as before. This time he carefully brushed his hair back and kindly met his eyes. Jeongbae was deeply relieved. The sex seemed to have been effective. Jaehyuk’s heart seemed to have returned to him, even if just for a moment.
“Mmm, a dream about becoming ugly.”
Jeongbae deliberately joked with a laugh. Jaehyuk’s serious expression was amusing. He deliberately pressed Jaehyuk’s playfully furrowed brow with his finger.
“Why are you crying about becoming ugly?”
“Ahaha. Because you said you hate me and ran away.”
“No way. You’re pretty no matter what.”
He was pulled into a tight embrace. Jeongbae also wrapped his arms around Jaehyuk’s neck and hugged him tightly. His wavering heart seemed to finally find its place. He patted the broad back comfortingly. The precious person in his arms. A lonely smile appeared on Jeongbae’s face.
‘Let’s not think foolish thoughts. Luxurious worries too. I… don’t deserve that.’
The dream he just had seemed like a prophetic dream telling him the future ahead. Jeongbae gently stroked Jaehyuk’s hair.
The words that he liked him, that he would wait until his heart opened.
But the cold attitude and icy face that appeared moment to moment.
The end of this relationship was already decided anyway. It would surely be painful, but still….
‘I’m good at enduring pain….’
It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Jaehyuk. In the moments he spoke, it must have all been sincere. That’s why he himself fell this deeply too. If it had been fake, it would have been easier to pull away….
“What are you thinking about so much?”
The handsome face smiled and looked down at him. The top alpha that anyone would covet. Sympathy and curiosity probably brought him this far. Jeongbae pulled Jaehyuk into an even tighter embrace without saying anything.
‘Let’s think of it as good fortune.’
He comforted himself not to be greedy for what he couldn’t hold onto for long.
