# Chapter 93
I rubbed my forehead, feeling like sweat was seeping out, but nothing came off as my body had completely cooled in the cold air.
I stood blankly, waiting for Woosang to come out of the performance hall.
Soon the door opened, and along with bustling sounds, several irregular footsteps were heard.
Through the doorway, dancers emerged one by one. They greeted me as they passed. Since they all seemed to know me, I greeted them back with trembling lips.
But I couldn’t properly recognize the faces of those passing by. They were just people with blurry impressions passing by meaninglessly.
The only face coming to mind now was Woosang’s. I had to face him. Without running away, clearly.
And standing before Woosang, I needed to say the words I had lacked the courage to say and had been avoiding.
Finally, a familiar face walked toward me. It wasn’t Woosang but Bel, though Woosang walked out right behind her.
“…”
My mouth was so dry that my throat felt like it would crack open. Along with the burning thirst, the words I had prepared seemed about to evaporate.
Bel glanced at me briefly before entering the waiting room without saying anything.
Click.
With the sound of the door closing, naturally, only one person remained before my eyes.
“…”
“…You didn’t leave.”
After hesitating slightly, Woosang added with a trembling voice.
“I thought you would have left by now.”
“That’s…”
He still didn’t seem to trust me. But I didn’t feel hurt or betrayed.
Perhaps it was natural. Though we trusted each other more than anyone else, there were too many crossed paths to trust perfectly.
I carefully asked him.
“So were you going to give up on me?”
“Well, just as there’s no longer an option to run away…”
Wiping his sweaty forehead roughly with his arm, he took another step closer to me. Woosang’s heat enveloped me.
“Since there’s no option for me to give up on Teo either, I wouldn’t have done that.”
At his meaningful words, I tried hard not to add anything else. Seeing his bitter expression, I reached out my hand but pulled it back.
I thought we had changed so much compared to the past. Though slow, I never doubted that I was giving him a certain level of confidence.
But it occurred to me that might not be true at all. With that brief thought, I couldn’t move my body, as if I had committed a great sin.
“You know.”
“…”
I called to him while trying to recall what I needed to say, but when I actually tried to speak, my mouth simply wouldn’t open. Instead, I extended my hand that had been hovering in the air and barely grasped the tips of his fingers.
The warmth I desired flowed in little by little from the fingertips I held. A little closer. I wanted to touch more parts of him.
“…Does Teo still want to run away?”
“No.”
“…”
“Not at all.”
I spat out each word as if they were broken. Seeing my tense appearance, Woosang caught his breath.
“But you don’t think you can kill that person, right?”
After hesitating at his question that seemed to peek into my mind, I nodded. That was right. I didn’t think I could kill him. To be honest, I didn’t want to.
It wasn’t because of sympathy or any feelings toward Hund. I just didn’t want to create something that would break me.
I didn’t want to create hatred and carry it on my shoulders for life. Past events were enough for that.
Apart from that thought, I couldn’t help but be surprised that Woosang had already noticed I didn’t want to kill Hund.
How could he know me this well? I didn’t completely understand Woosang, and it seemed I never would.
Yet Woosang always knew me better than I knew myself.
I didn’t dislike that fact, but it made me feel sad, as if I alone was in a state of ignorance.
“How can Woosang know so much about me?”
“Me?”
He added that wasn’t the case, but I couldn’t fully grasp Woosang’s intention.
I stared at him blankly.
“Sometimes I think Woosang might have entered and exited my heart. I don’t know anything, but you…”
As my voice lowered, Woosang momentarily frowned as if he had accidentally tasted something bitter, then returned his expression to normal.
“Have you always thought that?”
“Of course,”
“If there’s anyone in the world who understands me best, it would be Teo.”
That couldn’t be true. I still remained ignorant about him and was always saddened by our misaligned moments; I couldn’t possibly be the person who understood Woosang best.
“No one can perfectly understand or know another person.”
I pondered deeply at his confident statement.
Perhaps that’s true. Maybe. Woosang might be the one who understands me best, but he still doesn’t know about my past. And I never intended to tell him.
This was a secret I wanted to keep hidden.
‘Woosang probably feels the same way.’
Thinking like that somehow made my heart feel a bit lighter. As our clasped hands loosened, this time he firmly grabbed my hand.
Surprised by the sudden warmth, I tried to pull my hand away, but Woosang wouldn’t let go.
“If I told Teo everything about me, I don’t think you would stay by my side.”
“No way, that’s not true.”
“It can’t not be true.”
Looking at him forcing a smile, I felt the turbulence in my heart settling. Suddenly, my desire to escape this unbearable time and enter a forest where no one could see us to take a brief respite seemed foolish.
Just seeing his relaxed expression made me feel a serenity that I hadn’t felt recently.
It was hard to understand why I always tried to discard this strengthening heart and happiness and leave.
Perhaps it was because I continued to live without stopping. People who live must constantly think about life without rest. I wanted to attribute it to that.
‘When will I be able to engrave in my heart that the place I stay and such problems don’t matter?’
Even without running away, I could create plenty of breathing room. If only Woosang was there. If only we had time to calmly face each other.
The area where we touched gradually widened. Hands touching hands, arms touching, and he stroked my shoulder.
“So what are you thinking now?”
He slightly extended his head as I was feeling relieved at the diminished tension.
“…I have something to say.”
“What is it?”
This was precisely when I had something to say to him.
Not words of apology, but words he wanted to hear. I needed to say those words that had kept me breathing.
But as if waiting for me to speak, the closed waiting room door suddenly burst open. Dancers who had packed their things were coming out one by one.
“Umm…”
Among them was Bel with a bag over her shoulder. She just waved her hand briefly to greet us and disappeared with the others.
Only we remained standing still amid the people leaving one by one.
“Shouldn’t Woosang be going too?”
“…”
For some reason, Woosang silently sighed deeply and stared at the open door for a while.
“The important schedules are already over, so it’s fine. More importantly… we have something we need to do.”
By now, the hands that had been holding each other were infinitely distant, and a large gap had opened between us. I swallowed the words I was going to say and just watched Woosang enter the waiting room and gather his things.
“Since both running away and causing trouble seem difficult, we need to find another way. Right?”
Seeing Woosang, who had suddenly returned to my side and was deep in thought, I nodded.
It would be nice if we could find another way, but I didn’t think it would be possible.
But somehow, there was this strange expectation that Woosang might find an answer.
“Let’s go back to the hotel for now. Let’s stay together today.”
At that moment, I recalled the hotel lobby I had fled from yesterday. I felt embarrassed and sorry for having left despite seeing his depressed expression.
Since all his belongings were at the hotel, Woosang’s luggage consisted of just one simple backpack.
With a somewhat lighter expression, he headed outside the building. I followed him and came out through the door.
I noticed the clear sky without a single cloud that I hadn’t noticed in the morning. Unspoken words continued to pile up, but at least I didn’t feel like I would collapse under the weight of emotions.
I followed him, staying one step behind.
Though it was the weekend, most of the crowd seemed to be gathered around tourist spots, so there weren’t many people near the performance hall.
It was fortunate that we wouldn’t have to pass through crowded throngs on the way to the hotel.
Just then, Woosang stopped and looked down at his feet. Now that I looked, one of Woosang’s shoelaces was untied.
“Just a moment. Let me tie this…”
As he bent down to tie his shoelace, a sharp sound instantly grazed through the air.
I was alert to the somehow familiar sound when suddenly Woosang toppled forward.
I swallowed an ominous feeling as I watched him slump to the ground. Misfortune couldn’t possibly strike in this brief moment. Thinking he might have tripped on his shoelace, I bent slightly to examine him.
“Are you okay?”
I reached out to help him up, but Woosang just trembled slightly with his head to the ground.
“…What’s wrong?”
I bent down to look at his face. The first thing I noticed was his expression, tightly scrunched with one hand covering his mouth.
And seeing him slightly leaning toward me, I felt something was wrong.
Cold sweat was seeping from Woosang’s forehead. I wanted to remove his hand to hear what he was saying, but he kept his eyes tightly shut and his hand over his mouth, while his other hand groped for my arm.
“Suddenly…”
I embraced his shoulders, trying to figure out what had happened. That’s when I felt something wet staining my pant leg.
Puzzled by the warm temperature, I looked down to see red blood slowly soaking the ground.
“…!”
Woosang’s trembling body and the flowing blood. I was too confused to properly process the situation.
I wondered if it might be coming from me, but that couldn’t be.
An intense dizziness poured down from the top of my head. With trembling hands, I urgently felt around his body.
“Ah…!”
When my hand touched Woosang’s leg, he let out a loud scream. The blood was flowing from his calf.
I couldn’t distinguish whether it was my body or Woosang’s that was shaking violently.
