“Let’s terminate it, the contract. That’s what you’re saying?”
“…CEO-nim.”
“If we both just pay what we need to pay, I don’t need to raise hell either. A disobedient entertainer bastard, fuck, just kick him out at this opportunity and the CEO saves money and it’s so convenient. Huh? When young, pretty, and desperate kids are sprawled all over that street, I just need to bring one in.”
“…”
“How long are you going to stay young and pretty and talented, Ijae? Even fixing up an idiot costs money and effort.”
At the words pouring out like shattered glass, something inside me snapped off bit by bit.
I wanted to say something, but once again my lips only moved silently without sound.
It wasn’t that I had nothing to say. Rather the opposite. I didn’t know what to say first. It was as if the things that had started boiling up as the thread broke were clamoring.
“I sent you to Starium to earn your keep and you barely scraped by. Hard to sell off a stiff bastard anywhere… I wish you’d at least, ugh, this. If only you’d bitten on this.”
The CEO bent his thumb and index finger into a circle and shook them.
“Then I’d at least look on you a bit favorably, but you don’t even have that appeal. What are you even good at?”
The whole world was noisy. The vicious words the CEO poured out, the inner words swirling inside me, and even the noise coming from the office behind me all felt nothing but noisy.
Clack. The door behind me opened.
“You really have bad luck. Who did you come to ruin the fortune of…”
The moment a gray shadow poured over me, the last thread inside me snapped off.
“I didn’t want to do that either.”
Following the tail of that one released word, the next words continued.
“Do you think I wanted to be unable to do it?”
“…What?”
I was out of breath. I even felt the fear that what filled my throat might suffocate me. Words leaked out without me even being aware. It was as if I was vomiting out something that had festered and rotted from holding it too long.
“I did my best too. I always tried hard. I worked hard enough to die. Every day, every hour, every minute, every second felt crazily precious.”
Enough to be conceited that if desperation could bring success, I wouldn’t fail. Enough to begrudge the time spent sleeping and eating.
I didn’t know how far that desperation drove me, and I didn’t want to know. I thought it was a kind of pain that had to be endured to get better.
Not knowing it was a grief that withered and gnawed at me.
“I never once heard a kind word but I accepted it. Harsh words were natural. But they said there’d be a day when the sun would shine, so I tried hard. Just as CEO-nim said, I couldn’t do well so I at least wanted to work hard.”
“…”
“Is it wrong to even scrape by? I still made it into the debut group. I did it somehow. I’ve been managing somehow, so why did CEO-nim slap my cheek then?”
What’s 8th place, you piece of trash. My shallow passion that crumbled to pieces before those words was sad.
“CEO-nim never had any intention of nurturing me from the start. Like selling off fattened livestock, you wanted to give me some camera exposure then send me around to bars.”
“Hey, fuck. You think your words are sweet…”
“And if that didn’t sell, getting 500 million won in penalty fees would also be a profitable business.”
‘Ijae. Choose one of the two. Are you going to grovel and live paying off interest your whole life, or are you going to quickly spread your legs while going around to places the CEO introduces? If your head isn’t just decoration, our Ijae should know the latter is easier.’
“Is that a penalty fee, or fraud damages? Whatever it is, you probably don’t care. If you get all that money, will you feel relieved? Because you’d have pulled off at least one deal.”
“…”
“Scammer.”
I was certain. He definitely went to find my mother after I died. He must have presented that trashy contract and insisted on getting the 500 million won. Because he would have thought money was money whoever earned it, and receiving it was enough.
I realized anew how selfish my final choice had been. If I hadn’t come back in time, that hell might have truly existed.
“Ah, listening and listening to this son of a bitch going crazy…”
The CEO muttered curses grumbling. It seemed he was shocked to hear such things from me, who had seemed like I’d never say anything unpleasant my whole life.
I wasn’t sorry. Even this was putting it nicely. I too only glared at him with clenched fists.
At me like that, the CEO finally threw what he was holding in his hand. It was a glass ashtray.
I should dodge. But my body was as sluggish as my overloaded head. It was like being submerged in a river.
“…”
But I wasn’t hit by that ashtray. My forehead wasn’t split, I didn’t get a nosebleed. I wasn’t bruised or cut.
The ashtray, blocked by something, changed direction and plummeted to the floor.
Crash!
A loud bursting sound rang sharply in my ears. I stared stiffly at it, bounced off from me and shattered into hundreds and thousands of pieces, then soon turned my head…
“I did wish you’d live speaking what’s inside a bit more, but I didn’t know you’d detonate a bomb like this.”
I looked at the man who had blocked it behind me.
“What were you going to do if you got hurt, not even dodging?”
I couldn’t give any answer and just breathed heavily for a moment. I felt my cheeks burn hot from the heat rising to my face.
Seo Nakil was looking at me. I couldn’t gauge the emotion contained in his black eyes. It seemed calmly unwavering, or rather looked precarious as if everything was being suppressed.
He raised his arm. Then he quietly stroked my stiffly frozen face, precisely below my eyes.
“No, you are…”
Around the time the CEO stammered and opened his mouth, his hand flowed along my cheek toward my shoulder. He gripped me and made me step back, then indifferently kicked aside the glass shards that had fallen at my feet.
“This doesn’t seem like the time to leisurely exchange names.”
“…”
“I unintentionally overheard some of the conversation. You have a good voice. Even though he’s a bit young to have failing ears.”
It was a roundabout way of saying he’d raised his voice at a kid young enough to be his son.
His cool and elegant voice continued.
“500 million won, you said?”
“…”
“It’s been a while since I heard that number.”
Had he heard that amount before? I didn’t have the leisure to think deeply. My heart was beating too rapidly and I was out of breath.
“It’s quite cheap for the price of a life. Isn’t it.”
“What?”
“It’ll be tiring to drag this out for both sides, and since we’re not on good terms even if we meet, let’s settle this cleanly.”
“No, barging into someone else’s office out of nowhere and now what…”
Seo Nakil, who had taken out his phone, called somewhere.
“It’s me. There’s something I need to handle by tomorrow. 500 million won to CEO Shin Hyeongcheol at Cosmos Entertainment. Prepare it as a penalty fee and process the expense to Revalue. Contact CEO Seon too.”
Seo Nakil, who had decided the destination of an enormous amount in just a few seconds, was the only one among those in this space who remained composed.
“From now on, Han Ijae-ssi will be handled exclusively by Revalue Entertainment. I have some shares in the company, albeit small, so the process will proceed without difficulty.”
“…”
“Ah, of course the conditions will need to be readjusted… but honestly, no matter what conditions we set, things can’t get worse.”
“Readjust?”
As the man who appeared out of nowhere acted like he’d steal me away, the CEO’s face became even more menacing.
“Look here. You’re going to take our kid away right in front of my eyes? No matter how famous you are, being this unreasonable…”
“Our kid.”
Seo Nakil calmly ridiculed those words.
“Why are there so many people whose mouths are the only close thing? Where on earth did you leave your conscience?”
“Ha…”
“Ah. It’s not a question so you don’t need to answer. If you’re upset about having him suddenly snatched away before your eyes, you should have taken care of at least one thing well normally. Whether treatment, conditions, or…”
Seo Nakil, who stepped forward, picked up my contract. Using only his thumb and index finger, as if handling something very dirty.
“Or at the very least, some decency.”
Thunk. Seo Nakil, who had thrown it down, turned to me.
“Come out, Ijae.”
“…Actor-nim.”
Cool yet affectionate, polite yet shameless, seemingly sweet yet somehow suspicious.
With a smile whose front and back, outside and inside were different, Seo Nakil looked at me and said.
“Don’t stay in a trash can like this.”
