When the soldiers disappeared, Bihyeon, who removed his hand from my ear, examined me. His eyes were checking whether I was okay, whether my feelings had been hurt. I mouthed that I was fine and faced the dokkaebi.
“How fortunate that I came. If Ucheol had come, there would have been no chance. That child is very rough, you see.”
“Thank you, Dokkaebi-nim.”
“Call me Jwagil-nim.”
“Yes, Jwagil-nim.”
The dokkaebi, who was still sitting cross-legged in front of me, leaned his club against his body and raised his hand to tap-tap the floor in front of him. It seemed to mean sit in front, so I approached closer and plopped down in front. Then the dokkaebi laughed heartily with an expression that found me cute.
“This young one doesn’t know to fear dokkaebi.”
Unlike his words, he seemed to really like my action. Not knowing how to react, I glanced at Bihyeon, and he—pfft—smiled and gestured as if telling me to continue.
“You were originally destined to enjoy blessings and live long and long. It’s just that an evil god twisted things for a long time, so your soul was ruined and it became this state.”
Ah, for a moment I wondered if I had committed sins in my past life to end up like this, but it seemed that wasn’t the case. When I let out a sigh similar to relief, the dokkaebi laughed heartily.
“Originally, you should have come to the underworld long ago. Things got so twisted and twisted that you came here without even going through the underworld. If it weren’t for the Cintamani, you would have had to go with me today.”
“To hell…?”
“How could you go to hell?”
Telling me not to even bring up such ominous words, the dokkaebi tapped my shoulder lightly so it wouldn’t hurt.
“You must have heard from the Creator God? Right now, if someone injures you, you will surely die.”
“Yes, I heard.”
“That includes yourself too.”
I was answering obediently when I raised my head. This was unexpected words, so I couldn’t react immediately.
“Your fate was so twisted that all the gods decided to turn a blind eye to this situation, but… if it’s not another being but you who kills yourself, the situation changes.”
I would disappear as a soul, so what situation would change? The dokkaebi’s gaze turned not to me but to Bihyeon. Seeing him shake his head as if telling him not to say more, I realized it was related to him.
“I’ll tell you your future fate and then I’ll go. Anyway, soon….”
Is that okay? Nothing was coming out as expected, so I was flustered and kept opening and closing my lips.
“You will surely be happy from now on. Since your twisted fate has been unraveled, enjoy your blessings to your heart’s content.”
The dokkaebi who—thwack—tapped my forehead with his hand while laughing heartily turned around with his club and headed for the door.
“Th-thank you.”
After hesitating for a long while, I barely managed to say it, and the dokkaebi raised and waved his hand without even turning back. Thud. The door closed. Phew, I exhaled a long breath and approached Bihyeon.
What did the dokkaebi say earlier? Why did the punishments Aunt would receive in the future naturally enter my head? And what do we do about one escaping…? And so on. There were so many things I wanted to ask, but instead of asking anything, I gripped the baseball bat attached to my bag tightly and turned around. Because a very large jar was left alone in the room where Aunt had been. It was an unusually large jar. Large enough for a slightly big child to enter.
Thud. I climbed onto the veranda with my shoes off. The bloodstains on the bottom, and the long crack beside it. As expected, it seemed to be that jar I was trapped in when I was young. First, let’s finish everything. Let’s finish everything and ask everything. Even then it won’t be too late. I raised the baseball bat high. Although it was already in a weakened state with energy drained, I gritted my teeth and swung down with all my might.
Crash!
After swinging down about twice, the jar shattered to pieces. Then I swung the bat down a few more times, staggered, and collapsed in that spot. Haah…. I exhaled a long breath and covered my face.
“Sol.”
The voice calling my name without being able to come inside was full of worry. I thought I’d surely cry my eyes out if I killed Aunt, but now that things had turned out this way, rather than tears, my chest boiled with resentment and anger. Just confide in us. Ask for help and overcome it together with us. Why did Aunt hold onto that alone and…. When she loved us so much. When she treasured us so much.
“Ha….”
I exhaled a tired breath. Until yesterday, I thought everything would feel refreshing after it all ended. I thought it would be refreshing and sad, and also feel relieving. But what remained was loneliness. Lonely, and pitiful for Aunt who had to make such a choice then. And everything that got twisted because of the evil god was all pitiful. So I firmly resolved to pity Aunt even more but not forgive her. I continuously exhaled long breaths, frowned, and lowered my head. Thud thud. While hitting my chest, I only now realized my hands were trembling. It wasn’t just my hands. My whole body was trembling.
‘If I had foolishly come alone leaving Bihyeon-nim behind….’
Unable to overcome this moment, I would have killed myself in this place. The dagger had already disappeared to hell with her, but there were many ways to die. The heart that I thought had recovered a little and become solid seemed to be collapsing and felt like it was being torn away by someone. I kept thudding my chest and barely stood up from my spot.
Even if my heart hurts, I have to finish what needs to be done. I have to wrap things up…. When I staggered out of the room, Bihyeon reached out his hand and held my waist. As I bent down to put on shoes, I fell into his embrace.
“If it’s hard, I’ll do it.”
“I’ll do it.”
“You’re hurting.”
“Even if it hurts, I have to. That’s what I came here to do.”
Bihyeon looked behind, then while holding me with one arm, strode backward, picked up the bag, and pressed it into my hands.
“You have to put me down.”
He frowned as if unwilling, then as he was, lightly let my feet touch the ground. When I tried to move, he held my shoulder, so I took out the matches and candle right there.
“Look at the match while thinking you’ll burn everything.”
I looked at the match as Bihyeon said. When I stared for a while thinking to burn everything and end it all, I felt hot pain in my eyes and the match caught fire burning brilliantly in golden flames.
“Huh?”
I was so surprised I almost dropped it. If it hadn’t been for Bihyeon wrapping my hand, I might have futilely dropped it. After pulling together my momentarily flustered heart, I closed my eyes. Burn everything. Memories, pain, everything. I leaned my body completely back. While comfortably entrusting my back to Bihyeon—phew—I took a deep breath and nodded my head. The touch of his hand that had been firmly holding mine disappeared. I opened my eyes like that, looked at the golden fire, and slowly relaxed the strength in my hand toward the floor.
Thud, whoosh.
Fire caught in an instant. The black lumps that had fallen to the floor, and the flames connected from those lumps caught the house on fire. I moved my gaze following the flames and captured the house burning in my eyes.
“119 will come and it’ll be chaos.”
“Don’t worry. Until this house is rebuilt, humans won’t be able to see it.”
“You’re competent.”
Even to my words mixed with a bit of playfulness, Bihyeon didn’t answer. He was just looking at me with sunken eyes full of worry. It was a reaction as if he knew what I was thinking, but he didn’t deny it saying no. As if nailed to that spot, I just stood there and watched things burn. Golden fire. And that fire spread to the jars in the corner of the yard too.
Crash!
The jars broke one by one and the souls inside escaped. I clearly saw it with my eyes. Very small souls floated gently in the air.
“Ah….”
I looked at the candle I was gripping tightly in my hand, bent down, and used the fire on the ground to light the candle. I placed the candle with golden fire on the ground and looked at the sky. The souls that had been floating in the air as if not knowing the way began flying toward the sky.
“Yeongsun.”
They said there were souls that couldn’t go to heaven and stayed for a while, and I saw a familiar face. As I thought, it’s you all. Remembering Aunt who always kept two jars inside the house like precious treasures, I had suspected. Seeing them transparent, smiling, and waving their hands exactly like in the past, I stood up from my spot and waved my hand. Even while doing so, Yeongsun, who had been checking on me, reached her hand to the side. Next to her were the twins. Ha, in the end my held-back tears burst out, so I smiled while tears dripped down.
“In that dark place for so long… you must have been scared.”
Due to adult circumstances, we eventually couldn’t play often later, but still, they were my friends from the past. I wanted to send them off with a smile. My lips trembled, so I bit them firmly and quickly wiped my tears.
“The other kids went first. Hurry and go too.”
When I gestured as if telling them to hurry and go, Yeongsun glanced at the sky and then approached me closely. Seeing her point at me diligently, she seemed to be asking if I was okay. I squeezed my eyes shut and then scrunched my face. Then I exhaled a long breath and struggled to move my lips to smile and nodded my head.
“Yeah… I’m okay now. Don’t worry about me….”
At the words that I was okay, Yeongsun and the twins smiled brightly and waved their hands.
“Take care.”
At my greeting, they held hands and headed toward the sky. I waved my hand diligently until they disappeared, then bit my lips firmly. Haah, I exhaled breaths and also hit my chest repeatedly, but the crying wouldn’t stop. Bihyeon, who had been watching me while stepping back, approached and held my hand. That touch was so very careful. Bihyeon, who pulled me in like that and hugged me, frowned and stroked my back.
“Why hold that back?”
“I wanted to… send them off with a smile….”
“They all went safely.”
While speaking, tears burst out, so I rubbed away my tears. Then at the words that they went safely, I eventually cried out loud, wailing. When I tried to hit my chest, Bihyeon grabbed my hand and then lifted my body up. Even while wrapping my arms around his neck, I wailed. His embrace was warm, and the golden flames burning everything were truly so warm to me that my tears wouldn’t stop. Bihyeon, who covered my eyes with his own hand, whispered very softly saying let’s go home now.
