# Chapter 36
“How would that be something I’d just happen to find out…? Did I ever show signs that I had a boyfriend? Is that something that shows?”
“Not particularly, but… was it last fall? We were drinking and said we wanted ramyeon.”
That day was the release of the crime action movie directed by Ban Hajun’s father, Ban Cheol-ung. The four of them had gone together to watch the movie, and afterward, without any grand reason, they went to Tae Igyeol’s house to drink. Then Gye Minho said he wanted ramyeon, and Mo Eunje agreed, but since the host hadn’t eaten ramyeon for years, those who wanted to eat had no choice but to go buy it themselves.
“I saw you video calling someone while going to the convenience store with him.”
“He was a really cute guy.”
Mo Eunje chimed in after Gye Minho. Ban Hajun, who usually went to the rooftop where the ashtray was to smoke with Tae Igyeol, had been smoking outside the villa building that day. They could only see the back of his head and his phone screen, but the voice and way of speaking were unmistakably Ban Hajun’s.
“He could just be a friend or a younger acquaintance. You immediately suspected that?”
As Ban Hajun expressed disbelief, Mo Eunje and Gye Minho’s eyes met once more. It was time to present evidence.
“…Why are you suddenly saying we should break up?”
“You know I love you.”
Mo Eunje delivered Gye Minho’s line again. Since Ban Hajun was wearing Bluetooth wireless earphones, they couldn’t know the other person’s exact response, but Ban Hajun had clearly said that to the cute guy on his phone screen. Being drunk and wearing earphones, his voice had been a bit louder than usual.
“Why didn’t I see you guys?”
If he’d been caught in such a situation by his friends, he might have at least pretended to be embarrassed, but Ban Hajun didn’t care. Well, with that mentality, he probably publicly announced that he dates regardless of gender now. If they hadn’t seen that situation at the time, Mo Eunje and Gye Minho would have been too shocked to control their expressions now.
“Eunje hid, so I instinctively hid along with him.”
“And since you didn’t say anything afterward, I thought you just didn’t want to talk about it.”
At the time, Mo Eunje hadn’t hidden on purpose. He was so surprised that his body moved before his brain could give a command. Even now, he didn’t understand why he hid then. If he hadn’t hidden, Ban Hajun wouldn’t have been struggling alone all this time, leading to his proposal to reveal secrets one by one…
Mo Eunje took a moment for self-reflection. Considering Ban Hajun’s character, which usually let most things slide easily, he must have been so frustrated and troubled to come out at someone’s birthday party. It was both sad and pitiful. Living in a world where people are criticized for being even slightly different, he felt it was unfair that people suffered unnecessarily. After all, liking someone regardless of gender wasn’t a crime.
“You guys are really good friends. How could you pretend not to know?”
“There was no need to act like we knew, right? No matter how close we are, that’s your private life.”
As Mo Eunje casually answered, Ban Hajun glanced at Tae Igyeol. Mo Eunje, interpreting the meaning of that look in his own way, tried to reassure Ban Hajun.
“I didn’t tell him either. Even among ourselves, we just initially hid because we were surprised, and we didn’t talk about it even while going to the convenience store.”
“Hey, I wanted to talk about it, but when I was about to bring it up, you told me to shut up. It’s not like anyone was going to criticize you. We were just surprised and wanted to talk about it. To be honest, I was really hurt back then.”
“Aww, our Mino, was that so?”
While Mo Eunje was comforting Gye Minho, Ban Hajun stared at Tae Igyeol. His light-colored eyes, which were always hard to read, were fixed on Mo Eunje as always, but his expression showed he was deep in thought.
“But you guys… were you really okay with it?”
“With what?”
“That I date men too.”
“Why wouldn’t we be?”
“It might seem… a bit strange. I’ve been told it’s disgusting before.”
“We’re not children to hear such absurd things. Respect your preferences, so don’t worry. Besides, romance is disgusting whether it’s between men, a man and a woman, or women. Don’t you know that saying? When I do it, it’s the love of the century; when others do it, it’s the vanguard of plague.”
Mo Eunje passionately expressed his thoughts. Of course, despite having a few dating experiences, he had never felt the love of the century or even awkward love except for his first love, but he completely agreed that other people’s romance was the vanguard of plague. When he had gone on a double date with Gye Minho because their dating periods overlapped, it was so irritating that if he couldn’t wash his eyeballs after plucking them out, he would have wanted to buy new eyes that hadn’t seen it. Perhaps that’s why Mo Eunje found it difficult to watch romance or melodrama movies and dramas.
“I truly didn’t know Eunje was such a good guy. Now I understand why you were so popular when you skipped lectures to drink. Respect.”
“Whether you acknowledge it or not, it’s an unchangeable truth that I was popular, okay? Seniors, juniors, classmates—I was so busy receiving confessions that I didn’t have time to attend lectures—”
“Ban Hajun, are you done? Then I’ll reveal a secret too.”
As soon as Mo Eunje’s exaggeration began, Gye Minho cut him off. Tae Igyeol and Ban Hajun each raised a hand to show approval, and Gye Minho smugly high-fived them. Only Mo Eunje, who had been about to show off with a bit of exaggeration, pouted with an ugly expression. The arrow of his crooked heart appeared as spite directed at Gye Minho.
“I’m not at all curious about Gye Minho’s secret, so let’s hear it quickly and get it over with.”
This time, Tae Igyeol and Ban Hajun raised their hands toward Mo Eunje. Having instantly reversed the situation, Mo Eunje high-fived them with an arrogant laugh. Although Ban Hajun’s secret was already known, so it was questionable whether it could be called a secret, no one raised the issue.
“You know… I confessed to a middle school friend I met at a class reunion and got rejected.”
“What? When?”
Mo Eunje was the first to react again. When he had talked about romance with Gye Minho, they had made an unofficial promise to never date and just write for the rest of their lives because they empathized with each other’s reasons. Feeling somewhat betrayed, Mo Eunje downed the last sip of his soju-beer mix in one go. Tae Igyeol, sitting next to him, mixed more soju and beer and placed it in front of Mo Eunje.
“The reunion was after Lunar New Year, and the confession was about two weeks ago.”
“Hey, didn’t you say that reading fantasy novels written by others is more fun than dating?”
“That was when I was writing terribly. Now my own writing is the most enjoyable. If I could just date now, life would be so exciting, but I got rejected… I was too embarrassed to tell you guys.”
“I’ll set up a blind date, no, a group meeting for you.”
“Really? Then can the four of us do it together?”
Gye Minho looked around at his friends with expectant eyes. But Mo Eunje shook his head mercilessly.
“Ban Hajun has a girlfriend, no, a partner, so he’s out; Tae Igyeol has someone he likes, so he’s out; and I need to maintain my novelist image, so I’m out.”
“Hey, that leaves just me! I told you blind dates are burdensome because I don’t know what to say.”
“Why do you insist on going with just us? I’ll set it up, so you gather a few more guys.”
“Stop, stop!”
Ban Hajun, who had been listening to Mo Eunje and Gye Minho’s conversation flowing naturally, widened his eyes and halted the dialogue.
“I think I just heard something, you know?”
“Huh? What?”
“Did you say he has someone he likes?”
Ban Hajun pointed at Tae Igyeol while questioning Mo Eunje, who had made the problematic statement. But Mo Eunje looked even more puzzled.
“Don’t you all know that?”
“Huh? No? I had no idea.”
Mo Eunje couldn’t hide his astonishment at Ban Hajun’s ignorance, especially since the scandal article had just broken and been resolved yesterday.
“How can you not know that?”
“You… do you know who it is?”
Oddly enough, Ban Hajun’s question was cautious.
“Of course I know. You know too, right?”
Mo Eunje nodded firmly and brought in Gye Minho. Gye Minho also nodded vigorously in agreement.
“I know. Of course I do… My goddess, noona Dael, what sins did she commit in her past life to even have a scandal with a guy like him…”
“Didn’t a clarification article immediately state that it was groundless? Gye Minho, you even gave an interview.”
“When celebrities have scandals, they always deny it first. My interview just added some spice to that. Besides, I saw him holding hands with my goddess, noona Dael.”
“Yes, I saw it too.”
Mo Eunje brightly added that he was also a witness. Ban Hajun, who had been calmly meeting Mo Eunje’s eyes for a few seconds, pounded his chest with his fist as if he was bursting inside.
“Wow, wow… I laid the groundwork by revealing my secret, so why is the conversation flowing in this fucked-up direction? Wow, it really couldn’t be more fucked up. I kept thinking ‘no way, no way,’ but why do sad premonitions never miss? Wow, wow…”
Mo Eunje couldn’t understand what secret Ban Hajun claimed to have revealed or what groundwork he had laid, since everyone except Tae Igyeol already knew his secret. Of course, from Ban Hajun’s perspective, he might have thought no one knew and had gathered great courage, but still, it seemed excessive to react like that.
“I’ll reveal my secret.”
Tae Igyeol, who hadn’t said a single word since they agreed to reveal one secret each, spoke gravely in his original low voice. Everyone’s attention turned to him.
Among them, especially Mo Eunje was confident he wouldn’t be surprised by whatever secret Tae Igyeol revealed. He didn’t even have any expectations about what the secret might be. That’s how much they had no secrets between them, and it would be no exaggeration to say that he knew almost everything about Tae Igyeol. Recently, they had been living together, so he was aware of Tae Igyeol’s every move—it was a well-founded arrogance.
However,
“I… like men.”
When that heavy sentence escaped between Tae Igyeol’s lips, the person most shocked was none other than Mo Eunje. It felt like the pleasant buzz from the alcohol suddenly cleared.
“…”
As a quiet silence flowed, midnight passed, and it became Tae Igyeol’s birthday. Mo Eunje and Tae Igyeol’s eyes met. The gray eyes that had been trembling subtly looked away first, dropping downward. The circular pendant on Mo Eunje’s necklace reflected the light and sparkled.
